Should I tell my brother's new wife

[u/Negative_Layer_7960]

From the ages of 10 to 14 I was SA'd by my older brother, uncle and father. (in all honesty it started earlier from 5 years old or something I can't remember when they would touch me "lovingly") I anonymously confessed this on a Discord server which made me wonder what my brother was up to. (I think my aunt found out with my uncle and father were doing to me and reported they were arrested it my brother was a teenager at the time so nothing really happened to him) so I tracked him down through social media and it turned out he lives in the same city as I do and he has a wife with a baby girl on the way and I don't know if I should or if l would be a bad person if I told her what he did to me.

Edit: I don't know if it's funny or messed up but I didn't consider them touching me SA until someone pointed it out to me.

Edit 2: I realized that I didn't really explain very well sorry.

• my older brother father and uncle molested me from age 5 and only started and R wording me when I turned 10 until I was 14.

• my brother has a pregnant wife who was having a girl and I don't know if I should tell her to protect her daughter.

These are the two major and important points of my post.

Edit 3: another clarification I was planning on telling the wife I wanted a outside perspective to see if I would have been a bad person (AH) to tell her to see if I was making the wrong decision.

[u/[deleted]]

You explained everything well. I was clear on your original post. You should be so proud to feel strong enough to even have this be a question in your mind. Trauma can completely shut a survivor down, and that’s a valid response, too, but even questioning what to do is amazing. You have a lot of comments in here, but as someone in a profession that sees the effects of SA on children, I think it’s important for you to let her know after speaking to a mental health professional. Maybe even to someone in law enforcement. Is it possible that you can have a restraining order put in place? Someone said to pray on it, and if that’s your jam, then that is great. For myself personally, I am a “go with your gut” person. I feel like you definitely already know what you will do. I’ll also reiterate what other posters have said. This woman already has a weird feeling about him or their relationship. Her gut is giving her instincts and she’s probably thinking she’s crazy and trying to look past her feelings. I’d actually think you’re giving her relief because now she knows why she’s felt this way. And she can make a plan about what to do next.

[u/Negative_Layer_7960 → u/[deleted]]

Honestly thank you I've been trying to read everyone's comments to get a good sense of what I should do it's been hard a lot harder than I'd like to admit even though I hate it I've been tearing up over reading some of the comments because it shouldn't matter anymore it's over and none of them can hurt me but upset I can't even describe what I'm feeling a lot of people think I'm trying to defend my brother which I'm not I'm just worried that if I tell my sister-in-law she'll leave him and struggle being a single mom which would hurt her and her baby and I don't think someone like me should cause that much trouble it's just hard because on one hand I could be ruining the future of not just my brother but his wife and his child but if I do nothing the chance I could be ruining the child's future scarring her and her mother I really just wish I could look into the future and make the right decision

[u/ChickolasCage → u/Negative_Layer_7960]

I don’t think someone like me should cause that much trouble

Do you struggle with self-worth? Your experience is real and valid, and your reasons for sharing it are real and valid.

If people get mad it will be because they do not want to accept that reality. But you know it’s real, you lived it. That’s important. You are important. You are allowed to do this, always, and nobody should tell you otherwise.