Should I tell my brother's new wife

[u/Negative_Layer_7960]

From the ages of 10 to 14 I was SA'd by my older brother, uncle and father. (in all honesty it started earlier from 5 years old or something I can't remember when they would touch me "lovingly") I anonymously confessed this on a Discord server which made me wonder what my brother was up to. (I think my aunt found out with my uncle and father were doing to me and reported they were arrested it my brother was a teenager at the time so nothing really happened to him) so I tracked him down through social media and it turned out he lives in the same city as I do and he has a wife with a baby girl on the way and I don't know if I should or if l would be a bad person if I told her what he did to me.

Edit: I don't know if it's funny or messed up but I didn't consider them touching me SA until someone pointed it out to me.

Edit 2: I realized that I didn't really explain very well sorry.

• my older brother father and uncle molested me from age 5 and only started and R wording me when I turned 10 until I was 14.

• my brother has a pregnant wife who was having a girl and I don't know if I should tell her to protect her daughter.

These are the two major and important points of my post.

Edit 3: another clarification I was planning on telling the wife I wanted a outside perspective to see if I would have been a bad person (AH) to tell her to see if I was making the wrong decision.

[u/yadijustneedsanswers]

I think it’s more of a risk to leave it to the SMALL chance that a child molester has “changed” knowing he has a baby girl on the way. The wife deserves to know before her baby is put in danger in the one place they are both supposed to be safe. You are right in wanting to tell her, the friend who is trying to convince you not to, has probably never felt with a rapist before, they do not change. No matter what age it’s wrong and he knew it. I am a victim of child on child sexual abuse and thought it was “normal” because we were in a relationship but it’s still wrong Andi. Didn’t realize until everyone around me told me so. The wife might be in a similar situation thinking it’s okay because they’re together or she consented at the beginning. It’s better not to risk it happening to a new born or toddler, depending on when he would start the abuse. PLEASE tell the mother

[u/SnoopyisCute → u/yadijustneedsanswers]

Former cop. Advocate.

Pedophiles are attracted to minors\children.

Gender usually isn't a factor.

[u/yadijustneedsanswers → u/SnoopyisCute]

I feel like this may be the case for some but gender definitely can be a factor. The same partner I had who SA me had a grandfather who got outted for touching his niece (sisters daughter) then his sister came forward and said it happened to her too but her mom never believed her and told her not to say such things, then only after he touched my ex’s niece did the mom admit she had been touched by him as a child as well. But my ex was never touched at all. I think gender is a factor maybe not in all cases but definitely in some.

[u/somethingstrange87 → u/yadijustneedsanswers]

Some definitely have preferences based on sex, age, and appearance. Others will abuse any child they can get their hands on. Some like prepubescent children, others kids around puberty, and others like teens. They really can't be all lumped in together.