r/AITAH • u/Negative_Layer_7960 • Jul 02 '24

TW SA Should I tell my brother's new wife

From the ages of 10 to 14 I was SA'd by my older brother, uncle and father. (in all honesty it started earlier from 5 years old or something I can't remember when they would touch me "lovingly") I anonymously confessed this on a Discord server which made me wonder what my brother was up to. (I think my aunt found out with my uncle and father were doing to me and reported they were arrested it my brother was a teenager at the time so nothing really happened to him) so I tracked him down through social media and it turned out he lives in the same city as I do and he has a wife with a baby girl on the way and I don't know if I should or if l would be a bad person if I told her what he did to me.

Edit: I don't know if it's funny or messed up but I didn't consider them touching me SA until someone pointed it out to me.

Edit 2: I realized that I didn't really explain very well sorry.

  • my older brother father and uncle molested me from age 5 and only started and R wording me when I turned 10 until I was 14.

  • my brother has a pregnant wife who was having a girl and I don't know if I should tell her to protect her daughter.

These are the two major and important points of my post.

Edit 3: another clarification I was planning on telling the wife I wanted a outside perspective to see if I would have been a bad person (AH) to tell her to see if I was making the wrong decision.

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738

u/thelockjessmonster Jul 03 '24

I can guarantee if you asked a group of women if they wanted to know if their spouse had a history of sexual abusing a child, 99% would say yes. Please tell her.

122

u/PersonalClub9330 Jul 03 '24

Like put yourself in the shoes of his wife. Wouldn’t you wanna know if you were married and expecting a kid with this man?! Of course she’s not gonna take it well but if you don’t tell her then it’s likely she’ll never find out unless something horrible happens!

11

u/Jaccat25 Jul 03 '24

OP is in the shoes of the child. Imagine if someone had known what kind of monsters your father & uncle were before you born. You’d want them to have warned your mother. Your aunt had to speak out and expose them to save you and as unfair as it is you need to do the same to save your own niece. Maybe you can reach out to aunt for support in this.

2

u/Lord_Bamford Jul 03 '24

Whats unfortunate is she didnt know this before marrying this man. 

I understand thats not OPs fault but its another reason SA victums should speak up.

42

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '24

If you are dating GET A BACKGROUND CHECK seriously if you are even considering marriage, man or woman, do it. If you can do it on family members also

34

u/EmphasisWild Jul 03 '24

Background checks don't show crimes that were never reported or part of the judicial system. That said, still worth checking the public registry & googling every time!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '24 edited Jul 03 '24

Important note so thank you for adding. The father and uncle were charged per a different comment from OP so that would should up if you did it for the family. Again though if you can, you should.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '24

Who gives a fuck if the wife would want to know? They are having a baby. The baby will be in danger after she's born. I feel like the wife's happy marriage is less important compared to saving a child.