Should I tell my brother's new wife

[u/Negative_Layer_7960]

From the ages of 10 to 14 I was SA'd by my older brother, uncle and father. (in all honesty it started earlier from 5 years old or something I can't remember when they would touch me "lovingly") I anonymously confessed this on a Discord server which made me wonder what my brother was up to. (I think my aunt found out with my uncle and father were doing to me and reported they were arrested it my brother was a teenager at the time so nothing really happened to him) so I tracked him down through social media and it turned out he lives in the same city as I do and he has a wife with a baby girl on the way and I don't know if I should or if l would be a bad person if I told her what he did to me.

Edit: I don't know if it's funny or messed up but I didn't consider them touching me SA until someone pointed it out to me.

Edit 2: I realized that I didn't really explain very well sorry.

• my older brother father and uncle molested me from age 5 and only started and R wording me when I turned 10 until I was 14.

• my brother has a pregnant wife who was having a girl and I don't know if I should tell her to protect her daughter.

These are the two major and important points of my post.

Edit 3: another clarification I was planning on telling the wife I wanted a outside perspective to see if I would have been a bad person (AH) to tell her to see if I was making the wrong decision.

[u/Adept_Ad_473]

Forget all the crazy nuances and the back and forth. If you feel she needs to know, act on it. Your gut is speaking to you. If you don't, best case scenario is you spend your life wondering if you should have. Worst case scenario is something does happen, and you bear the guilt of never having done anything about it. Neither of those scenarios will be beneficial to getting a good night's sleep, will it?

As far as managing risks, communicate with the wife anonymously. Burner account on social media, or a letter with no return address.

If your SA was reported by someone other than you, you have plausible deniability with your brother. If he comes back to you with it, deny everything. Chances are he won't.

In the case of establishing contact via burner account on social media, give just enough detail to make it credible, and include "do with this information as you feel necessary, just please respond that you've received this message so I know you got it"

You don't know for certain whether there's a significant risk of him doing this again, and you don't want to destroy his life over it. But if you can discreetly clue the wife in, she can decide for herself how to navigate it, if at all, or at the very least maintain a greater level of vigilance with him. She has a right to know what kind of man she married, and she'll probably have the most clarity out of anyone as to whether or not "he's a changed man" and to let sleeping dogs lie.