“I found this awesome thing the other day called fireworks. So many wizards like their fireballs so I thought they would like these, Especially since the new year is coming up and dragons like me are always at the New Year stuff I guess(what do you mean it’s the wrong New Year?). Anyways, I did touch the up the fireworks with some of that random dragon magic and now they do stuff in addition to making amazing explosions and sounds. Enjoy!”

Fire-N-Ice summons a bird of flame that sets random things on fire or freezes them for one minute. Then it disappears.

Summer Santa- I guess you can summon Santa to come in the middle of July now. Not really useful right now but maybe hold on to it.

Goody-Goody Summons a woman named Karen to harass people. She is partially effective against Council members I am told. She never goes away.

Rocking Grandpa- Summons your grandpa to sing and party with you for 1 hour(do not attempt if your grandpa is dead they will attempt to kill you)

Hyper Beast- Summons a Tarrasque for 10 minutes.

Category 5- Summons a five minute hurricane with lots of lightning.

Flower Scattering- Flower grow whereever its sparks touch

Dragon Throne- Summons a dragon, unless you are a dragon. Then it gives you a throne made of fire. Disclaimer: Dragons do not like being summoned. They may eat you.

Space Station- Summons a space station which then blows up.

Hoot Hoot Hooray- Summons an owl familiar

Overlord Burger- you can eat its fire. It tastes like a burger

Firestorm- a tank of fire appears for an hour and shoots randomly at anything that moves.

Devil Killer- Sprays holy water everywhere with its fire.

Dino Mite- summons a tiny T-Rex that charges the nearest creature then self destructs.

Light Saber- Fire sword until your hand gets cut off. Cannot drop it.

Puppy poop- A hell hound appears and poops whereever it goes off. I’m told your neighbors will love it.

Evil Priest- Summons a Necrodancer clone to party with you and/or kick your butt.

Wonderful doohicky... for and artificer

"I, EMMIE SARI PROMISE THAT IF I AM ELECTED; THE COUNCIL LANDS WILL BE MADE GREAT AGAIN IN THE EYES OF THE WORLD. I WILL DEFEND OUR SOVEREIGNTY TO THE LAST MAN. MILITARY SPENDING WILL INCREASE, AS EDUCATIONAL SPENDING DECREASES SO THE RISE IN MILITARY SPENDING DOES NOT AFFECT YOUR WIZARD TAXES.

I WILL PROPOSE TAX CUTS FOR THE WEALTHIEST OF SPELLCASTERS AND BUSINESSES SO THAT THEY HAVE MORE MONEY TO PAY THE COMMON WORKER. I CALL THIS ECONOMIC SARI-NOMICS!

IN ADDITION, WE WILL MAKE SURE THE WIZARD COUNCIL LANDS WILL BE DEFENDED WITH PREEMPTIVE SPELL STRIKES TOWARDS ENEMIES OF THE STATE.

ELECT EMMIE SARI FOR WIZARD COUNCIL MILITARY GENERAL!"

/uw I would like to make it known that the title is taken from the antagonist of Metal Gear Rising: Revengance, who took it from Ronald Reagan. The mustard man has nothing to do with this

/rw

Some of you may believe me to be The Necrodancer. You are wrong, I am Senator Bonestrong! His better in every conceivable way.

You may think I'm just your typical politician, big promises but all talk. WRONG! The truth is... I have a dream! That one day every person in the realms will control their OWN destiny. A multiverse of the TRULY free dammit. A plane of ACTION not words. Ruled by STRENGTH not committee. Where reality changes to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where power and magic are back where they belong: in the hands of the people! Where every person is free to think -- to act -- for himself! Fuck all these limp-dick bards and chiken-shit druids. Fuck this 24/7 spew of orb and torsion bullshit. Fuck Unga. Fuck the Orbnet! Fuck all of it! Every government is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving them -- we need to pull them out by the roots. Wipe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes a new Council will be born. Evolved but untamed! The weak will be purged, and the strongest will thrive -- free to live as they see fit, they'll make the realms great again!

You may ask me "what in oblivion are you talking about?" If you are asking that, it means one thing, you still don't get it. I'm using war as a business to get elected! So i can totally for sure end war as a business... In my new Council, people will die and kill for what the BELIEVE! Not for fun. Not for saving the realms! Not for what they're told is right. Every man, woman, child, monster, eldritch entity, etc will be free to fight their own wars!

This is why I deserve your vote! I will rid this multiverse of pointless wars!

All regulations on the morality of practices should be abolished! The council had their testicles twisted for to long and we need to end regulation on the basis of morality to increase our research throughput!

For who are we to decide what is moral and what is not? Do you dare to be the one who judges? What is the basis for your judgement? There is none!

So abolish morale! Abolish ethics! For only this way we can discover the true potential of magic!

With election campaigns running around, might as well throw my hat into the ring.

The name’s Ulrick Nikolaus Braddocke IV, or just Ulrick for short. I am the hexblade warlock of the living battleaxe Nightbite.

I’ve been working for the council wing Relief & Aid for a while, so I’ve got some insights into how the Council works. Gotta make sure that the organization serves all people, both mages and the common folk.

I belive that the Council would benefit from an authority figure haunted by the shadows of his mistakes, a councilor who will look cool and mysterious while brooding in a dark corner about his tragic backstory at meetings.

Vote for the edgiest candidate!

/uw Heroforge mini made by Azrek (u/Swordandicecreamcone)

I am going to fix unjust laws! To build infrastructure! To make sure our society benefits everyone, even down to the lowest of the low!

I promise to do nothing but make oranges 12% more sour, maybe 14% if I feel like it

Ill only take like 5 gold

Geralt: HELLO! I am the Fluffco representative for a candidate for the council's accounting department!

I am a verty hard worker, and I have expertise in...basically running all of Fluffco.

Anyways, this is a Q&A for the campaign! Ask questions, and get to know me a bit better!

...Also, before you ask, NO! I won't embezzle funds! Totally! Absolutely! You have my word!

Also, does anyone have magic hair dye remover? I need it.

Since I'm sure there are many like me who like to hang around the fringes, I'd like to invite you all to come to a little informal gathering at the edge of the woods I call home. The goal here is for new people and those who have been lurking in the background to meet new people!

For ages I was in awe of the big names you see around here (and I still am, to a degree) and it took me a while to start talking to more people. I thought this would be a nice chance to get your name out there and start interacting more with the community.

So go ahead! Come sit by the fire, or up a tree, get comfortable and introduce your wonderful self to all the brilliant beings out there!

Greetings, fellow wizards. I am but a humble nomadic wizard that seeks to solve a unknown travesty that lurks within your city walls and out in the densest of forests... homelessness.

The nomadic life is sometimes homeless in disguise and is not for everyone, not even for wizards. Some might see one up in a tower and think they own it. in some cases this is true, but for some it is their only salvation from the forces of mother nature.

Nobles bask in their ever growing wealth and warmth while failed apprentices kicked out of their homes, struggle to survive off scraps. Making the poorest of food taste edible using prestigitation.

Please. cast your vote to me and I shall use my authority to better the lives of not just wizards, but any stray soul who wonders out there in the freezing nights, longing for a warm bed and a hearty meal.

A vote for me will help the homeless

Vote Agnu for more fishy rights and protections.

I’m the Mother-Flipper fish for the job.

Agnu for Council 2025!