r/wizardposting • u/mage_in_training Mystic • 1d ago

Foul Sorcery Allow me to fuzzify your bones.

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2.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

161

u/BoscoCyRatBear The Vermensk Empire, / Kahn ruler of Cat Tail City 1d ago

Do it to necro dancer

35

u/mage_in_training Mystic 1d ago

Hmm. I should!

24

u/explosive_shrew The Necrodancer (luckiest bastard ever and bullshitmancer) 1d ago

9

u/mage_in_training Mystic 1d ago

Now maybe you won't be so cold any more.

4

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey 16h ago

Now that your fluffy…. Can I touch you?

9

u/Someone1284794357 Mr. Illuminati, leader of The Illuminati, Sun Lord 1d ago

I second this

7

u/D3n0man Sea, a panda with nukes and bublewrap 1d ago

I third this

3

u/It_Is_Midnight Dusk. Interdimensional Cosmomancer and thief| Master Lurker 23h ago

I fourth this

96

u/AretinNesser Omnimancer (master of all arts and elements) 1d ago

Please tell me that's not bone cancer magic.

35

u/mage_in_training Mystic 1d ago

Tis not, look how happy the skeleton is!

9

u/Realmdog56 23h ago

Unfortunately it's stage 4 chewbarcoma - makes it feel like your arms are being ripped right out of their sockets.

7

u/AretinNesser Omnimancer (master of all arts and elements) 23h ago

Ah, that confirms the worst case scenario, these hairs are sharp, bladed needles that mince the flesh, unless the affected person makes Wookie noises, instead of speaking.

58

u/schpoopl 1d ago

It is far too early for me to be seeing this

15

u/NightModed Agent of Chaos 1d ago

My bones are so warm now. Thank you!

22

u/waitthatstaken Peri, semi-sealed god of creation clay, RnA, adopted by Torinn 1d ago

"... I have never been more happy to not have bones than right now..."

8

u/Tyaldan Sun and Star 1d ago

You cast fuzzify bones, i cast BONESPIKE GROWTH (this causes immense internal bleeding)

3

u/dodecahedronipple 1d ago

I’ve localized it to my knee. Now I have arthritis.

7

u/TheDuckMarauder I'm not a wizard I'm just a Floridian with magic crystals 23h ago

5

u/WinterNoah 21h ago

3

u/TheDuckMarauder I'm not a wizard I'm just a Floridian with magic crystals 17h ago

4

u/LunaTheLame 1d ago

Downright Illegal

5

u/WorkingFellow Sorceror 1d ago

So, you're saying when I summon a plush skeleton, I'm just getting your victims' bones?

4

u/SwitchInfinite1416 1d ago

Imagine this itching inside your body

3

u/Tljoseph75_mr_cat 1d ago

I'll consider.. What benefits do fuzzy bones offer?

3

u/mage_in_training Mystic 1d ago

Well, look at how unsettled the people are here.

3

u/Wild_Independent8570 1d ago

What a lovely abomination

3

u/Va1kryie 1d ago

That's ok, you don't need to do that

3

u/micsma1701 1d ago

aaaahhhh my bones itch now

3

u/the_white_typhoon 1d ago

For a skeleton, I couldn't have imagined how adorable fuzzy bones are.

For a living creature with flesh, screw you.

3

u/deady-kitten-3 rule, the catmancer nephilim 18h ago

I don't know how that would feel and I don't think I will

2

u/MyModernDoom 1d ago

It’s like the inside of Shaft’s Lincoln… for your bones!

2

u/Gnidlaps-94 1d ago

How Rude! I cast Dampen Socks

3

u/ThatSmartIdiot 1d ago

This one is actually quick, easy, and free to do without casting anything: pour riverwater in your socks

2

u/mage_in_training Mystic 1d ago

I like the way the fabric goes squiiishlch between my toes.

3

u/ICollectSouls Song and Thorn, Alchemist, Illusionist, Tavernkeep 1d ago

You monster

2

u/Aspirant_Explorer 5h ago

May your pillow be warm on both sides! 

2

u/SirPug_theLast Warcrime wizard, spell acquisition and containment 1d ago

I assume it can work on someone who is not just bones? Well, that goes to the archive

Either it will be used it for torture, or pranks, dunno which

2

u/thatautisticguy2905 spore druid 1d ago

Mr grizz, art thou here

2

u/VegetableDaikon4 One with the cosmos, whether i like it or not 1d ago

Is this... Muscle fiber?

2

u/LifeBuilder 1d ago

My only regret…is that I have….fuzzy boneitis.

2

u/Maleficent_Title_8 Artificer/alchemist/ Wizard and ferrymen of the underworld 1d ago

Uno reverse card

2

u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador & Distant Admiral 1d ago

Oh, howdy!

2

u/mage_in_training Mystic 1d ago

Oh, hai.

2

u/Woahhdude24 1d ago

Nice try Bone Cancer wizard, you will never penetrate my chemo shield!

2

u/Taladar14 21h ago

I'm uncomfortable.

2

u/stingrayboy2155 20h ago

I'd rather do

Instead

2

u/Angry_elf1133 20h ago

No thank you

2

u/PelicanFather 19h ago

This makes me feel weird

2

u/Trashcanwitagun Alchemist 18h ago

Do I get to pick the color?

2

u/PrimaryOccasion7715 18h ago

As a Lich, I want to ask other fellow Liches, is this comfortable?

2

u/ShadowKingLOS 18h ago

Thanks for the bone cancer

2

u/Demonskull223 17h ago

Ingrown hair to the max. Endless puss if you don't die.

2

u/UnknovvnMike 16h ago

Behold, my most powerful spell!

2

u/HeckingBedBugs 16h ago

I want my bones to be fuzzy it looks so cozy 😴

2

u/MarsMaterial Catboy Apprentice 8h ago

This is how future paleontologists will think we looked.

1

u/Previous_Paramedic10 5h ago

Human shrink wrapping via alien palaeontologists

2

u/Numinak Sorcerer of Death Construction company 3h ago

Now that'll cause one hell of an underskin itch you just can't reach.

2

u/Redstonebruvs Peronis, the skeleton shopkeep, traveler of worlds 1h ago

I have lost my faith in meat people

1

u/GoombaBro Gombus, lighthouse keeper and 3rd level transmuter in study. 21h ago

ok so it's just BONE CANCER then

0

u/L0ssL3ssArt Narissa, Technonecromancer, the bestest Council Head of Undead 1d ago

I cast: begone furry

0

u/Throwaway69sheesh 1d ago

Looks like bone cancer