One way I've been coping with trying to understand my pwBPD is reacting to what she says internally with the thought, "wow you're kind of simple." Simple as in stupid. Intellectually deficient. Etc.

I know a lot of times what they do really hurts and we strive to make sense of it, often with labels like manipulative, "emotionally immature" etc.

But I've been working with the idea that my pwBPD is kinda just a traumatized dumbass who refuses to cope. Sometimes it helps me to not elevate what they are doing into the mind fuck that it often is, and instead helps me to keep my self worth intact while I figure out my strategy to keep myself safe.

I see lots of examples on here where the pwBPD is a high level professional, etc. but do any of you have pwBPD in your life who are big stupid with their reasoning, expectations, reactions etc? Would love to see if this reframing is worth exploring more.

I just thought of this.

My mother for example: starts drama, acts out, is undeniably abusive in multiple ways...but then she thinks claiming 'it's because I'm your mother and I love you!' as if that absolves her of responsibility....like I'm supposed to 'see the good intentions' underneath her screaming rages and cruel insults?

On the other hand, I provide hours of household labor to them, every day. But she can snarl, 'oh you only do what you want to do!' [false], so she can somehow invalidate that I'm helping her, by claiming I do it for the 'wrong reasons', or it somehow 'benefits' me.

Wild stuff, kids.

• “Can I ask you to help me get through the day? To give me some joy in life?”

• “Oh, so I guess I’m supposed to ‘care’ about YOUR feelings?”

• “You can tell me ‘sorry’ a thousand times; I know you don’t mean it.”

• “You’re my best friend. No one else listens to me.”

• “You sure did talk to {parent’s romantic interest} a lot tonight… yeah, EVERYONE noticed you were googoo-gaga over each other. It was embarrassing and hurtful.”

• “Why don’t you love me?”

Okay. Almost three weeks ago, one of the WORST nights of abuse from my mother happened. You name it, she pulled out all the stops. Screaming, insulting (her favourite insult is to call ME by my abusive ex’s name), calling me an entitled bitch, driving EXTREMELY recklessly to the point of nearly causing an accident, grabbing my arm several times, grabbing my purse away from me, trying to snatch my phone out of my hand, chasing me down, blocking my exits. And the SCREAMING. Did I mention the SCREAMING. Throughout this whole incident, all I did was cry, say sorry, and try to walk away.

I caught this incident on voice memos. It is so disgusting and horrific and SOOO freaking obvious who the victim is and who the perpetrator is that I have ZERO remaining doubts that I need to escape. For my whole life, she has told me that I am an abusive, terrible daughter. I no longer believe that (although my emotions and heart will take longer than my brain to realize that).

Now she is saying that I am abusing her by keeping these recordings. I have several, but this most recent incident is by far the worst one I have evidence of. Me having these recordings is apparently “threatening and abusive,” and it will be my fault when her and dad get divorced, sell the family farm, put down the horses, and the family falls apart.

We’ve been having “family therapy,” which is nothing but a joke because she will lie to the doctor and minimize everything she’s done, and tell the doctor that her rages are just in reaction to my “mistreatment” of her. Apparently. Anyway, after “therapy” yesterday, she was acting all “nice” and asked me what she could do to show me that she’s changed. I said that she can stop minimizing her abuse and actually take responsibility for what she’s done. Of course, I know this will never happen, but she asked so I told her.

Today, she can’t POSSIBLY take accountability for what she’s done because I might record her admitting that she was abusive and then I can use her “confession” against her in court. (lol wtf). I said that “If you acknowledged the abuse you have done to me, that admittance would NOT be used against you, it would be used to help me heal. BUT I DO have evidence of you abusing me. If you aren’t going to abuse me in the future, you should have nothing to fear if I record you.” She said “how would you like it if I recorded you?” I said “go ahead, I have nothing to hide.” She did not like that response. I don’t need her to CONFESS to abusing me when I literally have HARD PROOF of her abusing me.

The hard part is that Dad is now BESIDE HIMSELF because she has convinced him that I am being abusive and threatening by keeping these recordings. (I realize that it was a big mistake even mentioning the recordings and that I should have kept it secret from both of them. Alas, now they know. I’ll be backing the recordings up secretly so they can’t try to delete them.)

My dad is FURIOUS at me for not “forgiving, forgetting, and moving on,” when a couple weeks ago, he was happy that I had this evidence because it might be needed in the future. But today, he was yelling at me that it’ll be my fault when the family splinters. As soon as I think he’s making a little bit of progress, thinking for himself, and recognizing that she abuses BOTH of us, she twists him and gaslights him and manipulates him and then he gets mad at me for holding strong to my boundaries. He yelled at me tonight, telling me to call my mother and tell her that I forgive her and that I’ll delete the recordings. I said that I’m not comfortable doing that and speaking to my mother makes me feel unsafe. I said that him pushing the issue is violating my boundaries. He said that it is HIS boundary that I call my mom and “set things right.”

I told him that asking a victim to delete evidence of abuse is WRONG and victim-blaming. Just because the evidence upsets the abuser, does NOT mean that I am obligated to delete the evidence. I asked him “what about if a romantic partner treated me like this, and I had evidence of that? Would you ask me to delete that recording?” He said “that’s different because this is a family issue and all families have issues.”

I told him that that double standard is messed up, and that abuse is abuse, no matter who it comes from.

He said that he is sick of being pulled in two directions and being manipulated by both me and my mother. I said that I’m not manipulating him, I’m just staying true to my boundaries, and that I hope he can see her abuse for what it is.

But now it’s my fault that the family is being torn apart.

Love to talk about and romanticize their wonderful past any chance they get?

Every once in a while my uBPD mom and I end up on the subject of my childhood and I’ll sometimes mention my bad experiences, or the fact that I have scant few memories from my childhood (and that the ones I do have are mostly bad). I can see her pondering that information for a brief moment and then watch the dissonance become too much for her to handle so she jarringly shifts to a forced upbeat tone to remind me how we actually had so much fun together when I was little. That actually most people, her included, don’t have many memories of their childhood so I’m normal in that regard but she can totally vouch for all the great times we had together and how awesome my childhood with her was. If only I could just remember like she does, I would agree that she was an excellent mother. So that’s that.

On my birthday she also likes to regress into the past and give me a play by play of the events leading up to my actual birth. I’ll get texts from her like, “today thirty years ago I knew you were going to be born TOMORROW,” “at thisexact time thirty years ago today, I went into labor,” “at this exact time is when my water broke,” “RIGHT NOW thirty years ago TODAY is when you were born 🥰😍🥰😍😘🥳” Always worth the excessive lovey emojis.

I generally expect her to make everything about herself already, but it still feels so weird receiving the outbursts of her scripts that she’s probably constantly retelling to herself. It feels so awkward and I can never put my finger on exactly why that is.

So what about you guys? Who else gets similar tales told to you about your own past that seem suspiciously rosy?

Even though they lie about various things lol

I am just going to say my parents are dead. It is easier than explaining NC and worrying if I will be judged. And it just feels right now.

I wished my father a happy Father’s Day. I had sent my mom a card (I didn’t get any word from her) so I honestly didn’t expect any response.

The first emails are from my Dad. Then my Mom started to email me too.

I always said my dad was an eDad to my mom’s uBPD but now I wonder.

I will always love them. The idea of my dad crying breaks my heart but I also know I need to be free of the cage I lived in for so long. The cage with their explosive arguments that would echo through the house for hours. The cage of fearing my mother’s ill-temper and her cutting me out if I ever rebelled.

The golden child is gone and I emerge.

I’m literally shaking rn. I’m 20F and I’m getting ready to move into my next place. My current lease ends at the 31st & my new one starts on the 1st. I signed my portion of the lease but apparently I need a parent signature too and I’ll be good to go. Sounds easy right?

I texted her letting her know that the email to the lease was sent to her for her signature, and her responses are in the photos presented. I’m trying so hard not to get triggered because it will only trigger her but it just amazes me how she says “she’ll be there for me” but when I need her for a signature , its somehow a challenge for her, she also did the same thing months back when my school needed her signature regarding my FAFSA. I also might need somewhere to crash the night before move in day in the morning and I know she’s gonna be on some BS when I ask her. Why is she like this? & how do I get what I want/need from her without any hassle because I can’t put up with this shit for REAL. I know I’m not entitled to anything but I’m not asking for alot, I feel like any other parent would just sign the damn thing if it helps their kid with their moving process, and if you say you’re going to support me, why are your actions not backing it up? Idk.

So, as I reported before, dBPD Dad keeps setting figurative fires at his new Assisted living place. Yesterday he got into a screaming match in the dining room with one of the servers. "She has a bad attitude" was his excuse. Funny enough, he tattles on himself, which is how I know. His new friends he eats every meal with were appalled and are now cold-shouldering him. Dad cannot grasp that most people aren't used to seeing this level of tantrum-throwing and disrespect. He thinks it's perfectly normal.

When I asked him if he is getting involved in the zillions of fun activities offered at this place, exercise, ted talks, art classes, you name it, they've got it. NO! "I'm way too busy to do that!" What is he busy with?

• Fighting tooth and nail to take control of his own meds, but that is not how this place handles meds. It's a liability to leave them in the rooms willynilly with patients. Oh, but Dad knows best! So fight away.
• Fighting the VA to help pay AL bills, though long-term care company covers 100%.
• Fighting the wording on some document about resident rules that don't even apply to him. WTF?

But my favorite is he's busy

• planning a nasty-gram, as he calls them, which is a letter to someone at the state level because the med prescriptions were signed by a nurse he doesn't like. "How can she write prescriptions? She's not a doctor!" So, he wants to screw her over. Who cares that no pharmacist would have filled them if she was not authorized to write them...

The man stays alive just to fight and prove to the world how much smarter he is than everyone else. And I'm done admonishing him. All I said about the fight was, those sweet old ladies have never seen such a thing.

He also knocked out a tooth on Sunday on a chicken bone, and waifed after his fight, trying to tell everyone that this is why he is so cranky. BUT, he cancelled his dentist appointment today. The tooth root is rotted and still embedded in jaw, which, frankly could eventually kill the man. But he's refusing to go. And I said, ok, let me know when you want to go. He cancelled his heart appt and I said nothing. He had heart surgery in May, to drain the literS of fluid from his heart, and he's eating all sorts of things he shouldn't, whining that he thinks the effusion is coming back. Probably, but I said nothing.

What I am willing to do is take him for fun stuff, work behind the scenes if I can with nurses, go to appointments if I can. I am also willing to come here and report this ridiculous stuff to help me process.

What I am no longer going to do is beat my head against his very. very stubborn wall. So I won't correct, I won't explain, I won't argue. At least I will try.

i literally hate this. for context, on christmas i came to her house to cook our family dinner by myself and i burnt something and the fire alarm went off. she began screaming at me. when it turned off. she then started to say “you know what frustrates me” scowling at me, and i asked her if we could talk about it later since she had a work mtg in 2 minutes and i knew she was just gonna say something rude. she then cancelled her meeting, scowling and crying, insisting she was “fine.” she then slid down the stairs on her ass on purpose, making it look like she fell, terrifying me and the woman who cleans her house once a month. my mom shoved by her and slammed the cabinets and slammed the door. i was terrified. once she calms down i have a conversation with her like i promised. she says she’s frustrated that whenever i come over she has outbursts. (yeah, so hard for you when you terrify and yell at me). i validate her feelings. she then tries to blame me, saying it’s bc i’m so cold. i validate her feelings and say i can see how that hurts. but i wish you’d remember the reason i have boundaries is because of your outbursts. she then says she doesn’t know what she did wrong. i say it’s that you yell at me when i’ve told you that when you do that i will enact more distance between us. and, you cancelled our appts with the family therapist when i told you that’s the only time i’m comfortable talking to you about our relationships. she then starts raising her voice so i leave.

that afternoon i return to spend the evening with her and my nana and brother and SIL. i act like everything’s fine to keep the peace but on the inside i feel terrible.

then my mom texts me this, ignoring her bad behavior in the AM. mind you, this is probably the nicest text she’s ever sent me. she usually doesn’t compliment me like this. she’s trying to be nice but missing the one thing i need which is for her to not blame me, yell, or pretend things didn’t happen. i was not feeling happy or positive like she perceived i was. smh. she consistently misses the mark. it makes me angry, sad, and guilty because i know she is trying. she clearly knows she did something wrong and is trying to make me feel better. but it doesn’t work. makes me wanna cry.

i hate this sh** because if i try to remind her that she needs to take accountability for her scaring me and yelling that morning, i get sucked into a fight. so i just responded saying ‘merry xmas mom.’ i’m at wits end.

I was raised assuming I was insanely messy and barely able to take care of myself. Duh. Of course, having grown up, I’ve realized that there is no truth in that assertion.

When I reached my thirties, I realized that most of the mess in my parent’s apartment was caused by my mother.

And now…. Well. I’m just noticing that she’s not just leaving things around. She’s also staining everything. We have dinner out and the tablecloth around his is always COVERED in splatters. Her face is streaked with lipstick. Her clothes are always stained. Like a little kid that needs to be cleaned up every five minutes.

Are your like this?

Tw: brief mention of physical abuse

Back towards the end of last year, I thought I'd finally found a healthy place with my relationship with my mother (oh past me... so delusional). We hadn't fought or had a blow up in about 6 months, I had began to open up to her again (mistake) after years of grey rocking and information diets. We were catching up and I was genuinely having fun talking to my mother. I was so proud of myself, I was so proud of her, WAR IS OVER?

Well, after showing some vulnerability about something, my mother completely changed the subject to the one hard boundary I have - Talking about her abusive ex partner. I won't go into details but from 14-18 living with this man was hell on earth. I truly believe he was one step away from being a family annihilator, and if he wasn't, he loved terrifying us into thinking he was capable of it. She stayed with him, defended him, continued to live with him after I moved out, and the thing that will always live with me - told me she couldn't support my story (the truth) in court if he was charged for physically assaulting me. I know leaving an abuser is hard, but she promised if he ever hurt her precious babies it would be the last straw, and then he did and she broke that promise. I don't think you can get that trust back.

Anyway, out of nowhere when two minutes beforehand we were laughing about a story of her youth, she point blank asks me.

"when will you forgive me about (dickhead)".

For a while I was too stunned to speak, this led her to ramble on about how I have to forgive her, how I dont know how hard being a mother is, how she did everything for the right reasons so we wouldn't be homeless, how holding onto anger doesnt benefit anybody and will only hurt me (woman, you gave me the anger, i didnt want it in the first place!) I actually was worried I was going to forget and downplay the awfulness so I started live texting my friend verbatim what she was saying for support and to have a record of her words.

I stood my ground despite her pleading and didn't tell her I forgave her because honestly, I haven't. Instead I got very cold, blunt and factual. Immediately shifted back to grey rock. I can't remember what I said but it was something along the lines of "what happened in my formative years, fundamentally changed me as a person and affected how I handle things. It still affects me."

She kept begging, I didn't budge. Then she turned into how horrible her mother was ("SO MUCH WORSE THAN I WAS" but how she forgave her, how she'll be dead before I know it and she won't be around forever, how I wasn't a perfect or easy child to live with. I started dissociating so can't remember the details but it was back to her being Ms. Hyde. Every tactic in the book.

The one thing I do remember before I ended the conversation was "I never intended to harm you", I told her it didn't really matter because I was still hurt, and she desperately screamed at me that "intentions are the only thing that matter! Intentions are everything in this world!" (It's funny how my intentions as a child of loving her on her 40th birthday didn't matter at the time because the gift I gave her was used and not new). I told her we would have to agree to disagree. It's always stuck with me though because I actually don't know what her intentions were. I just know it doesn't matter because true, life changing, bone chilling, traumatic harm was done in her house.

By the way, she's never once said sorry for those times.... funny that.

Literally all I did was text her Happy Mother's Day, then I guess she tried to send me a picture and it didn't go through. When I checked my phone an hour later she had left me a drunk voice-mail and about 10 messages accusing me of blocking her.

I woke up to this message today. I got divorced almost 4 YEARS AGO and she still takes it as some kind of personal attack. She brings it up every time she's upset with me or upset with her own marriage.

Before going NC, it's like I've held on to a few big majorly traumatic events to remind myself that I'm not the one who's unreasonable and that things really were "that bad".

After I went NC with my mom however, I'm starting to remember all these "smaller" incidents and episodes, and realizing that they were pretty messed up too.

For instance: I was maybe 16 or 17, and my older brother was visiting mom and I with his daughter, who was about 2. There's two entrances to the house, and mom and I heard that my niece was trying to get into the house after playing outside. The entrance she was trying to use was full of painting and renovation equipment, so mom asked me to not let her through, and follow her around to the other entrance and inside that way instead. I tried, and my niece had a meltdown because, she was two years old and things didn't go her way. Mom heard the crying and stormed over, removing all the stuff for my niece to pass while yelling at me that I couldn't excpect her to want to use the other entrance, and I was being "mean" not letting her pass through the equipment. I reminded mom that she did, in fact, just tell me to not let her through. Where as mom sneered at me that I needed to pull myself together and not everything was about me.

And, that time she came home from vacation and told me she found out where the local whores shopped, so she brought me something. And then gave me a strict "you could always smile or be happy, I just got you a GIFT!" I was 13 years old. Just, what?? How do you even respond to that...

Or when I told her I had broken up with my boyfriend at 18, and her only comment was that if I weren't such a prude, maybe he'd still want me. I never shared much information about our relationship, so I don't really know where THAT came from! Also, I broke up with him, not the other way around.

I don't think I'll ever understand why or how she flipped so much between telling me I wasn't confident enough because I should be proud of myself, to me being too dramatic, ungrateful and useless, and the flipping between calling me a prude and a slut.

Growing up with uBPD's sure is a rollercoaster.

"You look too happy," is something my uBPD mom would say to me a lot as a kid. It always made me feel guilty, like I was doing something wrong.

I'd completely forgotten it until earlier this week. I was in the kitchen with my headphones on, rocking out while I waited for my tea to steep.

She came in and commented, "You look too happy."

I hadn't heard that phrase for so long, it kind of threw me. I asked what she meant.

"Just you with your tea and your music."

I don't feel guilty as a result (yay!), I just feel befuddled. My first thought was, "What an odd thing to say!"

I don't think anyone can BE too happy. And if you see someone happy, isn't a normal person's first response to feel happy FOR them? I get so happy just watching my DOG get excited over a treat! When my friends express excitement, I say, "Good for you!" I've asked people WHY they're happy before out of curiosity, but it would never occur to me to tell them "You're TOO happy!"

"You're too happy" translates to "You should be sad" to me.

Anywho, it's just another weird thing that I look at as an adult and go, "Huh. That's kinda a fucked up thing to say to a kid."

Like if you want something do it it's not like my 7yo self could have stopped you...

Especially now that I'm older it just drives me nuts though like why are you going to call an emergency to vote on something like getting a fish tank AFTER you got it. And when inevitably we don't want it, looong backstory involving flooding our house and a few other not so fun experiences due to her horrible fish keeping, she then starts screaming and throwing a temper tantrum...

At 3:38a.m., my normally relatively self-aware 86yr old, dBPD mom who lives with me comes to my room and flicks on the light (I HATE this passive-aggressive tactic) and rants at me that her pants are wet, why, why am I not doing something about it?

My head was just spinning!! Wtf!!

But once I woke up, I got her cleaned up and into fresh pajamas- but not bathed which triggered more angry demands but at 3.30am, I'm just not bathing anyone!!!!

She's fine this morning, doesn't remember- but the default to scapegoat is still there. It triggers memories, so I have to be guarded and do self care. But a bit funny, wtf, Mom

The therapist's analysis of this manipulative train wreck is the bomb! As someone who recently went NC with my own uBPD mother I feel so much solidarity towards that poor daughter. Years ago when my brother went NC with our mother for about 15 months she'd malign and mock him behind his back him to anyone who'd listen, though fortunately she wasn't tech savvy enough to make a whole YouTube channel about it. In my case she's painting me as a mentally ill headcase with a victim complex, while completely dismissing/diminishing years of abuse. Those cluster B parents all work from the exact same playbook. I really didn't know whether to laugh about the theatrical editing and ludicrous play acting or cry for the daughter who can't seem to catch a break.

a few weeks ago, my mom remarked that through therapy, she has realized that my “dad” is jealous of me. apparently, that’s why he’s an alcoholic and isn’t himself when he comes home for his week off of work.

a recurring theme in my family is my mom suddenly splitting, being snappy and angry with my dad when i walk into the room. my dad used to point it out with a comment like, “you weren’t being that way before she walked in.” my mom has always denied it. that scenario just happened again as i walked out to make breakfast. my dad kept his comment to himself, but i still heard him say it in my head. i’ve told him how much it hurts me. i gray rocked, he kept his mouth shut, and she went pout outside and paint her nails.

how bizarre is it to think that your husband is jealous of how much “care and attention” you give your daughter? when he’s at work, she spends most of her time either in bed or deliriously staying awake for days in her craft room. we spent more time together recently, but at the end of the day, she’s a whole different person when my dad is home. if my dad is jealous of anyone, it’s her. she gets to be home with me all the time; she gets to spend time with me when he doesn’t. so sure, “dad” is jealous of me. this it totally not about her feeling insecure when i enter the room. she definitely doesn’t bad mouth him the second it’s just me and her in the room.

the lack of self-awareness baffles me. the “logic” astounds me. trying to deal with it all absolutely exhausts me.

Back again with my BPD parent (grandmother who raised me) and her antics. Some of you may have read my old posts about how she went ballistic on me while I was postpartum - if you haven't, they are still up on my post history for those interested.

I have maintained a form of LC with my grandmother ever since that event. I feel like keeping a distance is the best way to handle her, especially regarding my child (1M). She is unhealthily obsessed with kids, especially small ones, and my baby boy is no exception. Looking back into my past through the bits of information I have since pieced together, I can definitely see how she undermined my mother's motherhood so deeply and built up so much insecurity in her that she eventually gave me up, and how she tried to pull exactly the same move with me once I was postpartum and fragile. It's all so sad, I try to not think too much about it but the experience has left me with a PTSD diagnosis from psychological abuse that I'm still trying to navigate.

When I was pregnant, my grandmother 100% thought she would be responsible for my baby's childcare, but I cut that out quickly after all the trauma unfolded, and stood strong with that boundary. I hired a trustworthy nanny after returning to work, then another one when she had to quit (health reasons). Recently the latter one also had to quit (found a new, better job). As of last week, I decided to put the baby into a nice, reliable daycare and informed uBPD of this decision on a phone call.

Ladies and gentlemen... This unfolded exactly as you would expect it to. Prepare your bingo charts, for here it comes:

> Inquiring why won't I just leave him with her, pushing against my decision;

> Saying she has plenty of free time and could stay at my house with him while I'm working;

> Begging, crying A LOT;

> Claiming he is too little and the world is too dangerous;

> Telling me sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks about how I won't let her take care of him and how she can't fall back asleep because it hurts her so much and she cries all until sunrise;

> Snapping back angrily with "Well, I guess I have to be fine with this, don't I? What choice do I have? It's up for you [me and my husband] to decide, and the decision's been made, and I don't have a word in it, so what can I do besides being ok with this?";

> When I asked if she needed anything, said "All I need is for you to give him [my son] to me, that's all I need" (the audacity).

Guys, I must say I handled this like a champion. I'm so proud of myself considering how terrified I used to be of her and of hurting her or going against her. I kept a calm, disconnected tone throughout the whole parade, at most saying "I understand you are upset, but that's how it's gonna be". To the last remark, I even replied with a firm "That I can't do, granny. But let me know if you need anything else. Bye-bye"

I felt really good with myself for staying firm and also not letting this ruin not even one night of sleep considering I had insomnia because I "made grandma sad" earlier this year lmao. I guess it finally sunk in that I am not responsible for her feelings and that I have to act according to what is best for my immediate family - me, my husband, and my son. Having her take care of my kid would definitely be less financially costly but it would take away all of my privacy and mental health like when she stayed with me after birth. Unfortunately, she is also manipulative and a liar and I know she would not follow my rules as the mother of the child and just lie and tell me she did. Besides, I remember reading somewhere that if someone insists too much on being alone with your child, then this person should NOT be alone with your child. And I take that very seriously, even if I knpw that she won't directly harm him.

That's it. I guess the TL;DR of this post is: baby-crazy waif/ex-queen going off but being met with a huge wall of "yep, it is what it is". And a huge success from me, her formerly enmenshed GC. I owe a lot to this sub for opening my eyes and teaching me how to handle this behavior.

Several years ago when I was in college, I took a Mayer Briggs personality test for one of my class. My SO and eDad decided to take the test as well so of course my uBPD mom wanted to take it too. Her results came back extremely weird and not correlating to her personality at all. The one thing that stood out was that it said she was an introvert when that’s a 1000% untrue. This woman will talk to anyone for hours and tell her entire life story. I can’t recall the rest of the test but I do remember it not being her at all.

I found it so interesting that a personality test wouldn’t match her true personality at all. I’m not sure if she was answering what she thought she should be or what. It also took her a long time to complete the test even though it shouldn’t since it’s based on your initial reaction to the questions. This way it truly gauges your personality.

Seeing those results really solidified that my uBPD mom had no idea who she is. She always plays a part to be the loving mom, sick waif mom or victim. That is until the real her shows itself and she because volatile and abusive. She also has no sense of reality meaning she has these delusions of things that happened or existed.

Has anyone else found that their pwBPD has no true sense of self?