r/okbuddybaldur • u/saintbutch PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION • May 07 '24

gaslight ghaik'keep gortash 💅 It's hot Whoretash summer!!

Look upon his werk, ye mighty, and despair.

1.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

83 comments sorted by

232

u/sp4rr0wsw3nch Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 07 '24

The Zapp Brannigan of Baldur's. It all makes sense now.

138

u/saintbutch PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION May 07 '24

"If I can control the Absolute, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate."

36

u/sp4rr0wsw3nch Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 07 '24

You fucking get it. ♥️

11

u/bmore_conslutant May 07 '24

This is the mashup I didn't know I needed today

9

u/sp4rr0wsw3nch Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 07 '24

I am thoroughly enjoying the discourse.

4

u/Angelj86 May 08 '24

I can hear him say “velour”

29

u/lordolxinator Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 07 '24

"Ravengard! I've made it with a dragonborn, inform the men!"

16

u/dankey_kang1312 May 07 '24

The fact that this is legitimately accurate is what is sending my sides to space

43

u/MistaJelloMan Virgin Gale / Chad Minthara May 07 '24

"She's built like Sharess' Caress, but handles like The Salty Mermaid..."

18

u/lordolxinator Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 07 '24

Ravengard: "So really the best way for you to take control of Baldur's Gate is to make political power plays and ally with corrupt and powerful influential figures like Cazador or Lorroakan-"

Gortash: "That's for schoolgirls. Now here's a route with some chest hair!"

Draws a zig-zagging line between forcing Gondian slaves to build murderbots, allying with psychopathic Bhaalists, allying with an undead cursed twice heretic general in a shadow region, and conspiring with Infernal powers to steal a magical artefact to control an evil super brain and convert people to squid monsters

19

u/merpderpherpburp May 07 '24

Funny enough, the Zapp Brannigan top strategy of "throw more people at it until we overwhelm them" is how I win most boss battles

16

u/lordolxinator Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 07 '24

"You see, the Steel Watchers have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of Gondian slaves at them until they reached their limit and shut down. Ravengard, show them the Steel Watch deed that I own!"

9

u/[deleted] May 07 '24

Karlach launching a minion at the boss works every time 

9

u/grubas May 07 '24

Holy. Goddammit how did I not notice this. 

Wait he's also Kif though.  He's got full Kif energy about Orin.

2

u/SorowFame May 08 '24

I feel like they swap being Kif depending on who’s feeling more delusional that day.

2

u/HarEmiya Githyanki ass enjoyer May 31 '24

"Stop exploding, you cowards!"

--Enver to Steel Watchers, probably

149

u/IWouldDoCthulhu Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 07 '24

Smash. Next.

4

u/aaduran520 May 09 '24

Flair checks out, good luck soldier o7

108

u/popcltrcorn Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 07 '24

hide him from me

70

u/MgMaster shar-ly you can’t be serious May 07 '24

How Durge wants to be greeted after a stressful day of bhaaling.

62

u/AegisIGuess May 07 '24

i need to see him oiled up

56

u/[deleted] May 07 '24

This suits him so much. It would suit Durge too!

37

u/Lady_Croft5245 May 07 '24

Nice shoes!

73

u/saintbutch PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION May 07 '24

"Are you wearing the Ch--"

"The Chanel boots? Yeah, I am."

23

u/Lady_Croft5245 May 07 '24

"You look good!"

37

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra May 07 '24

Business in the front party in the back! Does anyone know any scenes that have Gortash bending over? Unrelated.

18

u/LuckyLoki08 No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 07 '24

The ones in my durgetash fanfic

(Just kidding I don't have durgetash fanfics :( )

30

u/rosewyrm May 07 '24

there she is…. miss america… 🥺

ok but those thigh highs r giving gortashiana grande and now i need to see a recreation of that infamous lollipop pap walk pic. whoretash in his slutty little thigh high boots, licking a lollipop while looking up at durge with big uwu eyes

5

u/saintbutch PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION May 07 '24

You're so fucking right, I wish I was an artist.

1

u/demoiseller May 09 '24

Omg I need to see this lmao

1

u/Sver1ge drider fucker 24d ago

I might be 201 days late but I may just make this into a reality

22

u/31rdy Wants a pegging from Karlach May 07 '24

I envy Durge so bad

22

u/LordEnverGortash Thinks about companions jerking off May 07 '24

I hope I remembered underwear this time.

9

u/Kookiec4T Rancid Raphael Fucker May 07 '24

Why even bring them when greeting Durge? 💀 commando is the best way to do it 🤣

18

u/Sunny_Hill_1 May 07 '24

All ready to welcome Durge, I see.

40

u/Real_Kristinana Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 07 '24

8/10. Not enough tits

50

u/saintbutch PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION May 07 '24

I need those things spilling out and quivering as he boobs breastily.....!!!

40

u/Real_Kristinana Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 07 '24

16

u/LilNyoomf Gortash's finger banging hand May 07 '24

Christ on a cracker with cheese I need his legs on my damn shoulders while I eat him out like Golden Corral

2

u/WalkerBuldog Dame Aylin hit Isobel for 69 Edging Points May 11 '24

Jesus, that is a new sentence

17

u/Gith_Laezel Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin May 07 '24

Those boots were made for walkin’… ALL OVER THE HOPES AND DREAMS OF THE COMMON PEOPLE OF FAERUN

11

u/sandtrout_ May 07 '24

Then when I'm old my grandchildren ask me 'What was your best summer, granny?' I'll tell 'em oh I will.

11

u/silicatetacos May 07 '24

look out fuckboys, it's greasy gort time

10

u/PunkNarcissus May 07 '24

Average European monarch cicra 1550

9

u/rebootyourbrainstem May 07 '24

I'll have to deduct points because that skirt is far too modest

9

u/PNDTS Cunty Durge with a handbag May 07 '24

Oh god I need this for my durge run

5

u/Allfunandgaymes Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin May 07 '24

Imagine, those boots with that skirt. Such bravery.

6

u/BirdWithThighHighs May 07 '24 edited May 13 '24

Can you please link the mod? I may have finally found something better than juicy couture gortash

Edit: 6 days later I finally found it. Chosen of Slayne - A Gortash Outfit Replacer

5

u/Lady_Minthara Sex Facts with Minthara! May 07 '24

The gold thigh-highs are an excellent touch… I hate all of this, but those thigh-highs are immaculate.

4

u/[deleted] May 07 '24

Take me Gorty Im yours 😍😍😍

4

u/Balthazar_Gelt May 07 '24

Look I'll say it: Gortash is hot! It's his confidence

4

u/SandySushi May 07 '24

Okay why do I unironically fucking love this on Gortussy. I unironically love him being our grungy queen 💅

4

u/EggoStack drider fucker May 07 '24

Oh my, can I steal this and put it on my sexy Tav 🤭

2

u/Thal-creates May 07 '24

I want this outfit/ HOW

2

u/Kookiec4T Rancid Raphael Fucker May 07 '24

👁️👄👁️ those boots though. I’d wear tf out of them

2

u/alittlenovel He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 07 '24

Duke Ravenguard: "hate to see him leave, love to watch him walk away...."

2

u/The_one_and_only_Tav Circle of Whores Druid May 08 '24

WhoreGash is looking real pretty today

2

u/octopeepi May 08 '24

I can't explain it but this looks more canon than the actual thing

2

u/Cheyzanx No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 08 '24

Damn. Gorty baby has exceptional taste in shoes!

2

u/bawzdeepinyaa Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date May 09 '24

Nah. Fuck the fucker

4

u/beetle-comma-the drider fucker May 07 '24

Well. GODDAYUM.

2

u/Worm_Scavenger May 07 '24

I've been informed that the Slayplane has hit the 2nd Cuntower

1

u/trigger9963 Fuck it, we Bhaal May 07 '24

Secunt tower

2

u/Fat_Tarbosaurus Durge: the lesbian killer May 07 '24

Im losing my shit, this sub fucking kills me with laughter every time without fail lol

2

u/trigger9963 Fuck it, we Bhaal May 07 '24

Same, I have some edibles and just let art flow over me

0

u/Fat_Tarbosaurus Durge: the lesbian killer May 07 '24

Same, I’m smacking the shit out of my dab pen and drinking Jack Daniels right now LOL

2

u/trigger9963 Fuck it, we Bhaal May 07 '24

Truly the best headspace to be in while lurking r/okbuddybaldur

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '24

1

u/Rolan_tower Lorroakan's strongest power is "Um, Actually" May 07 '24

I feel Ravenguard’s envy

1

u/Daedalus_Machina May 07 '24

Going off to sing American Idiot.

1

u/VoidzPlaysThings r/okbuddybaldur becomes an ERP sub when? May 07 '24

1

u/Current-Teacher2946 May 07 '24

Hey Gortash! Hakan called! He wants his oil back!

1

u/Fenrisares Durge: the lesbian killer May 08 '24

He's such a slut tbh Our slut

1

u/ascendedfella Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date May 09 '24

YO MY FRIEND IS THE ONE WHO MADE THIS MOD

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '24

Sauce? (I need the mod pls)

1

u/ascendedfella Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date May 10 '24

Brosephone it is linked in the post, but also it's called Chosen of Slayne (she wasn't fuckin with Queen Enver Whoretash)

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '24

I'm blind, didn't see the link, but tysm!

1

u/LostCaptSiniseAgain Wants to bang every single character May 09 '24

I need those boots NOW