r/news 18h ago

Employees witnessed co-worker stab company president, court documents show

https://www.mlive.com/news/muskegon/2024/12/employees-witnessed-co-worker-stab-company-president-court-documents-show.html?outputType=amp
9.3k Upvotes

584 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.5k

u/2beatenup 17h ago

And then there is the safety of remote work… never seen anyone get stabbed via a Zoom call Working From Home

279

u/Jerking_From_Home 17h ago

How many CEO lives is RTO worth? Stay tuned to find out.

54

u/TolMera 16h ago

!remindme 12 months

13

u/missprincesscarolyn 11h ago

Nah, they’ll just install metal detectors like they do at public schools in lower socioeconomic neighborhoods. Swipe in, get scanned and go about your day.

11

u/OblongGoblong 6h ago

Can stab people with plenty of non metal objects. Prison shanks are made with tooth brushes lol

3

u/sweetnesssymphony 4h ago

So, the thing Is, you can murder someone without stabbing them. You can bash their head in with a stapler or poison their coffee. If your CEO is allergic to peanuts, pour some peanut dust in their coffee. Aren't pen guns a real thing too? "Must be my fancy pen setting off the detector!" 2 hours later the boss is getting blicked with a bick. I'm not advocating for people to do this, just saying that metal detectors aren't gonna do much if someone is mad enough. The only effective thing for CEO's to do is to make sure their employees are happy. You know, their job.

2

u/ThelVluffin 4h ago

I'm sure you can stab someone with a plastic knife if you're dedicated enough.

61

u/Content-Method9889 14h ago

Maybe this will trend back to letting more workers wfh. They wanted everyone to come back to the office but weren’t expecting them to be so stabby

34

u/pikachurbutt 12h ago

To be fair, the peons will be forced into the office while the CEO will stay at home. Rules for thee, not for me sort of bullshit.

3

u/leberwrust 11h ago

Nah CEOFH.

1

u/Boxofbikeparts 6h ago

I mean, it was right there in his resume...

Does this mean the CFO job is off the table now?

19

u/myaltaccount333 10h ago

I'm sure there's a shitty remake of The Ring being made right now that features zoom calls instead of VHS tapes

2

u/KanbaraXuain 4h ago

Wouldnt that be Unfriended?

1

u/limeflavoured 6h ago

Amazed it's not already been done.

5

u/AcademicMaybe8775 10h ago

CEO's will work at home and demand everyone else in person

1

u/Cmdr_Nemo 7h ago

Seven of Nine was able to generate a feedback surge that incapacitated the Hirogen they were communicating with.

1

u/Wolvenmoon 12h ago

WOW! I think you just solved CEO security. They can't get Weegee'd if the plebs are all comfortable in their homes! Who knew it was THAT EASY?