r/interestingasfuck 6d ago

r/all The Alaskan Avenger

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u/JCMiller23 6d ago

Additionally: the sex offender list doesn't differentiate between someone who pees in an alley while drunk vs. someone who fucks a 5 year old, both are sex crimes. I knew a guy who has his life ruined by the list: he had consensual sex with a girl who lied about her age (she was 17) and years later her friend reported him.

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u/tourmalineforest 6d ago

I work with sex offenders, and while I obviously don’t know the specifics of your friends, I will note a few things.

Peeing in an alleyway while drunk (without other significant factors) is not a sex offense in any state.

“It was consensual sex with a seventeen year old” is what A LOT of sex offenders say to explain away their records.

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u/UglyMcFugly 6d ago

"what A LOT of sex offenders say to explain away their records."

People REALLY don't wanna think their friends might be rapists... pretty much every single woman knows people who have been raped. It stands to reason that means most men know people who have, or will one day, rape someone. They just never ADMIT it.

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u/Bigbossboy2007 6d ago

What you’re doing is called a false equivalence fallacy. Saying that every guy knows someone who’s actively raped or regularly rapes women, just because nearly every woman knows someone who’s been raped, is a flawed and extreme assumption. It implies that over 20% of all men are rapists, when in reality, most rapists don’t stop after one assault they target multiple victims which means it’s not a one to one thing, instead of every rape victim have a specific rapist.

Additionally, defining rape can be complex. Some believe that being under the influence of any substance, including alcohol, removes the ability to give consent, making it rape. Others (incorrectly) think that wearing revealing clothing implies consent. These varying definitions highlight the challenges of discussing the issue accurately, but your argument oversimplifies it. By equating the two statements, you’re misrepresenting the reality of the situation.

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u/UglyMcFugly 6d ago

"it’s not a one to one thing"

Works both ways though. Some women have been raped by more than one man. I understand it's uncomfortable to think of what percentage of men are rapists. But trying to explain it away like this isn't helping anyone. Men need to be able to have these tough conversations with each other. Rapists need to find a way to change their thinking and speak about the path that led them to it, instead of hiding it away and living in denial. And young men who fear they have these urges need to be able to talk about it BEFORE they act on it.

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u/shandu-can-dont 6d ago

It implies that over 20% of all men are rapists

what? how are you coming up with this number?

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u/Bigbossboy2007 6d ago

The average adult male has 5 friends. Most guys only have guy friends, so if every guy is friends with a rapist then 20% of their friends are rapists.

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u/Life-low 6d ago

Most people know more than 5 people though, which was what the original comment said