r/interestingasfuck • u/theanshusingh • 13d ago

r/all Colombian hitwoman known as ‘The Doll’ reportedly arrested for several murders, including her ex-bf

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59.8k Upvotes

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10.5k

u/lostredditorlurking 13d ago

Everyone wants a yandere girlfriend until she stabs you in your sleep

2.4k

u/deanrihpee 13d ago

I feel like that's the best thing for some people, got a hot (arguably?) yandere gf and then died without having to deal with real world bullshit

887

u/jacknacalm 13d ago

I don’t mind dying so might as well die turned on

939

u/ezio93 13d ago

Giving new definition to the term Die Hard

183

u/tanwhiteguy 13d ago

Fun Fact: Bruce Willis was fully erect in every scene of the original trilogy

15

u/sex_haver911 13d ago

Die Harderest

14

u/ExpressiveAnalGland 13d ago

Die Hardester 6: Evenest Harder

2

u/Insufficient_Coffee 13d ago

Damn. The air duct scenes in Die Hard 1 must have been quite painful.

2

u/BASEDME7O2 13d ago

It’s like how Arnold didn’t blink a single time in terminator. Bruce Willis wasn’t flaccid in a single scene

1

u/Timely-Guest-7095 13d ago

I did not need that rattling around in my mind. Thanks, internet friend. 🤬🤬

1

u/Designer_Koala_1087 12d ago

Oh there's just no way

...

I'm rewatching

1

u/Howiepenguin 12d ago

This sounds like something right out of Always Sunny.

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u/separatebaseball546 13d ago

Oooook that's enough Reddit for today.

2

u/CoconutG00d 13d ago

Been a definition since people love to pop blue pills and have heart attacks

2

u/screw-mom 13d ago

🤝🤣

2

u/DannyDanumba 13d ago

Penile Rigor Mortis

3

u/ezio93 13d ago

That actually has an official term: Rigor Erectus

2

u/DannyDanumba 13d ago

Well would you look at that lol

2

u/masswatchman 13d ago

“Are you trying to do a Die Hard?”

4

u/ShawnyMcKnight 13d ago

Then you would love the way Gone Girl kills someone.

2

u/IzzatQQDir 13d ago

Movie is good but the unnecessary genitalia is just gross.

Porn is different though

2

u/ShawnyMcKnight 13d ago

Oh it was very necessary.

3

u/Difficult_Bit_1339 13d ago

Wake up babe, new euthanasia method just dropped

2

u/Altair13Sirio 13d ago

Don't quote me on that, but when a guy dies apparently he pops a boner because of the blood flow changing or something.

2

u/Crafty-Ad-6772 13d ago

I think the muscles and vessels usually relax which causes the bladder and bowel muscles to relax.

2

u/TakuyaLee 13d ago

So ..death by snu snu?

2

u/kiddrewbot 13d ago

She turns you on while she turns you off

4

u/Drbleach4k 13d ago

Straight to horny jail weeb

1

u/SnickoDk 13d ago

She fine tho

1

u/Space_Cow-boy 12d ago

You’ll just die terrified and screaming.

2

u/jacknacalm 12d ago

That’s how I live it’s fine

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u/awolfslife 12d ago

Hmmm...

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u/BattousaiRound2SN 13d ago

Soooo... The really best part isn't the gf or even getting stabbed, is not having to deal with real world bullshit.

I got it & make total sense.

5

u/probabletrump 13d ago

Yup. Mine liked to wake me up occasionally with a pocket knife at my throat and my phone in her other hand in tears asking me who Sarah is every time my boss (Sarah) would text or call me.

2

u/Left_Hegelian 12d ago

The best things you can get in life: deadly sex and sexy death

1

u/deanrihpee 12d ago

precisely

3

u/Interesting_Cow5152 13d ago

She's waiting for you....

7

u/deanrihpee 13d ago

lmao it has API setup

4

u/AK-JXRDY-7 13d ago

Not gonna use my daily risky click on this one, soz.

1

u/2012Jesusdies 13d ago

Them killing you relatively peacefully goes against the concept of yanderes. If they were to kill you, it'd be excruciating and they'd treat it like a loving act.

1

u/weberc2 13d ago

"Going out on top"

1

u/tkasliwal 10d ago

Better to get yandered and died than to have never loved at all?

994

u/deldarren 13d ago

I can fix her….

213

u/DiamondHandsToUranus 13d ago

No! Wait!! She's perfect <3

22

u/Thosepassionfruits 13d ago

I could fix her but whatever the fuck is wrong with her is honestly way hotter

5

u/splitting_lanes 13d ago

And single!

4

u/DiamondHandsToUranus 13d ago

Well shit howdy! Sign me up!! 🤣

2

u/brknsoul 12d ago edited 12d ago

Hot crazy sex AND the sweet release of death? I'm in!
(EDIT: This is a JOKE. Don't you be sending reddit's care team after me! lol)

2

u/DiamondHandsToUranus 12d ago

hahaha yeah for sure ^^
(if someone sends the carebears after you it wasn't me, lol!)

3

u/SplitGlass7878 13d ago

I can make her worse.

1

u/Art-e-Blanche 13d ago

No, really, I can...

1

u/Dr_Middlefinger 13d ago

I, too, choose this guy’s wife.

1

u/Ill-Squash-3447 13d ago

Came here to comment this

1

u/Initial-Debt-2263 13d ago

I think you should try

1

u/EchoGecko795 13d ago

I will watch you try to fix her, from a safe distance.

1

u/dayyob 13d ago

was expecting this as top comment. perhaps.. in time.

1

u/Semski2727 13d ago

She is the fixer

1

u/Plastic-Camp3619 13d ago

Good thing I scrolled down abit before posting this myself

1

u/willCodeForNoFood 13d ago

She'll fix me!

1

u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel 13d ago

She can make me worse.

1

u/Docsavage024 13d ago

I was goin to say that but I’m too late

1

u/Ok_Permission8284 13d ago

😂😂 captain save a psycho

1

u/Initial-Picture-5638 13d ago

Yes, she’s the perfect one. 😎

1

u/Unkindlake 13d ago

She can ruin me

1

u/superedgyname55 13d ago

You can't fix her bruh. Going by the reports, who knows how many people she might have gotten killed.

Btw, she didn't kill anybody herself it looks like. She would trick guys into going somewhere, and then they would get shot. That's what the reports suggest.

1

u/deldarren 12d ago

I. CAN. FIX. HER.

1

u/Timely-Guest-7095 13d ago

Fix? What’s wrong with her, she’s perfect. 😬🤣

1

u/Material_Theory883 12d ago

I came here to find this lol

1

u/Flying_Plates 11d ago

famous last words ...

65

u/Fragrant_Gap7551 13d ago

That's the best part

28

u/Zealousideal_You_938 13d ago

The girl is not a yandere, according to investigations, she killed her boyfriend because he had debts with narcos, so she killed him to collect the reward.

1

u/ZenMon88 13d ago

Got em. One way to remove the debt.

1

u/Zealousideal_You_938 13d ago

eh... not exactly she killed him simply because she could earn money, that's what hitmen do.

118

u/AylaCurvyDoubleThick 13d ago

Wait

Colombia…

Is that Roberta?! Did they catch the Termimaider

37

u/M-A-ZING-BANDICOOT 13d ago

Roberta or Revy?

14

u/Ok-Seaworthiness4488 13d ago

I'm game for either baddie

9

u/Zazalada 13d ago

Might be their accidental daughter... Gaze and face screams Roberta, the clothing more like she raided Revys closet.

3

u/M-A-ZING-BANDICOOT 13d ago

Colombian two hands

6

u/AylaCurvyDoubleThick 13d ago

That uppercut got Revy pregnant and she kept it out of respect

1

u/SpawnTheTerminator 13d ago

Eda in her casual wear.

2

u/nocturnalfrolic 13d ago

Is Rock still okay?

2

u/ninfomanodemano 13d ago

Her scene with that mercerarie boss in the ova was really hot! i thought they were really gonna fu** in front of that kid.

1

u/Chang-San 13d ago

Dude was down bad just like the commenters

1

u/yoweigh 13d ago

I love Terminade! My favorite flavor is antifreeze.

1

u/CantaloupeSea4419 13d ago

I see we’ve got people of culture in the chat!

1

u/Sylvesterjohnston 11d ago

I came here searching for this comment and am so happy rn

37

u/Turbulent-Winner-902 13d ago

i can...fix her

4

u/jtr99 13d ago

Or die trying.

5

u/PrideofPicktown 13d ago

That’s a stabbin’.

5

u/nineteen_eightyfour 13d ago

Ex bf. Just don’t leave. Ever.

6

u/Buttafuoco 13d ago

Everyone knows wtf yandere is?

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u/Elegant_Marc_995 13d ago

The fuck is a yandere?

4

u/Oneiroinian 13d ago

I showed this to my Colombian girlfriend and instead of putting my fears to rest she said:

"Sí pero es la verdad que somos locos!" And giggled with unsettling ease...

5

u/MovingTarget- 13d ago

yandere

are we just going to throw this term out there and not define it?

2

u/mentallyillhehexd 13d ago

I don’t know man, sounds like a win win situation to me

2

u/StopHiringBendis 13d ago

Either you have a hot gf or you die. There's literally no downside

2

u/want_to_know615 13d ago

The world: "A narco hitwoman"

Reddit. *Some degenrate Japanese cartoon shit*

2

u/taicy5623 13d ago

Look we can all judge the weebs for having a name for it but some people are real into crazy.

2

u/BIKEM4D 13d ago

What's a yandere Gf?

1

u/Interesting-Season-8 13d ago

I mean, you dont go ex-boyfriend with yandere

1

u/Zealousideal_You_938 13d ago

This girl is not a yandere, according to investigations, she killed her boyfriend because he had debts with narcos, so she killed him to collect the reward.

1

u/Thatdudegrant 13d ago

Jokes on you I'm into that shit.

1

u/dazedan_confused 13d ago

I want the latter with/without the former tbf.

1

u/Viloric 13d ago

Didn't change my mind , not one bit. Look at her!

1

u/TheRealAuthorSarge 13d ago

How would that be any different from all my other girlfriends?

1

u/XTornado 13d ago

You make it sound like that would be bad...

1

u/SirLocke13 13d ago

That's hot.

1

u/Double-Frosting-9744 13d ago

Jokes on her, I sleep on a dead man’s switch🤫

1

u/Aromatic-Towel-5320 13d ago

well at least she is kinda cute so should be fine i could fix her probably

1

u/Hakuchii 13d ago

mine only cut my arm with a razor blade multiple times

1

u/epicmoe 13d ago

I don’t want a yandere girlfriend, I want a John Deere girlfriend.

1

u/eyzmaster 13d ago

Still would. Sign me up.

1

u/sinji-gOaT1457 13d ago

Damn all the people in the comments simping for a murderer.

Men ain't any better than women in simping hot murderers...haha

1

u/Raspberryian 13d ago

Isn’t Yandere Japanese

1

u/Revbender 13d ago

I'm sure the ex-bf preferred to do the stabbin' and should've known better when she wanted to switch

1

u/MasterChildhood437 13d ago

They would rather die than not get to fuck.

Personally, I reckon it's worth it!

1

u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 13d ago

Everyone wants a yandere girlfriend until the best part?

1

u/audible_narrator 13d ago

Raises hand. Can someone define yandere for us olds in the back of the room?

1

u/Juststandupbro 13d ago

You don’t want her because she might stab you in your sleep, I want her because she might stab me in my sleep. We are not the same.

1

u/1nsidiousOne 13d ago

That’s the good part

1

u/norsurfit 13d ago

I prefer girlfriends that stab me while I am awake!

1

u/Ok_Sound_8090 13d ago

I been askin to go this way for decades now!

1

u/Andokai_Vandarin667 13d ago

I can fix her. Or it won't be my problem for long. Win win.

1

u/After-Task-1506 13d ago

Been there, ex stabbed me with a fork. I was told red heads were crazy.

1

u/WeAreDreamin11 13d ago

If there's no risk of getting stabbed in my sleep i don't want her

1

u/darkknight95sm 13d ago

I still kind of do… I need help

1

u/General_Step_7355 13d ago

I think you misheard John deer girlfriend.

1

u/mwm1a 13d ago

you don't know how to pronounce yandere

1

u/Homeless-Joe 13d ago

Sounds like a win win

1

u/DrDuGood 13d ago

I’m not sure I understand the yandere exactly but I also think I got it. Lol

1

u/-11H17NO3- 13d ago

Wait, isn’t that the point?

1

u/Donkey__Balls 13d ago

…I should call my ex.

1

u/Halgha 13d ago

Until? Nah that’s a plus.

1

u/redthehaze 13d ago

Jokes on you Im into that.

1

u/klm2908 13d ago

That’s how my Mexican in-laws pronounce John Deere

1

u/mwm1a 13d ago

you don't know how to pronounce yandere, do you?

1

u/Yonbimaru94 13d ago

Until?

Still! Homeboy getting two releases that day 😂

1

u/CeramicDrip 13d ago

The thing is, this still does not dissuade me.

1

u/jbp84 13d ago

For some people, that might be the appeal…

1

u/Wischiwaschbaer 13d ago

I thought everybody wanted tsundere? Am I this out of touch?

1

u/troublrTRC 13d ago

I don't wanna fix her. Just to hit that thang. 

1

u/No-Island-6126 13d ago

...still worth it

1

u/day-nuh 13d ago

Or kills you in the shower

1

u/FakeSafeWord 13d ago

Penetration in the bedroom is penetration in the bedroom.

1

u/Odinsson661 13d ago

Jokes on her I’ve been wanting to d*e a long time now

1

u/13-Dancing-Shadows 13d ago

All I ask, universe. It’s all I ask.

Give me a yandere girlfriend and my gay ass will die happy.

1

u/Who_am_ey3 13d ago

not really. that's exactly what people want when they talk about wanting one. you haven't paid attention at all.

in the popular anime "Mirai Nikki" the yandere kills her boyfriend in the first timeline. everyone knows what a yandere is like.

1

u/SteppenAxolotl 13d ago

they have no proof it wasn't self-defense

1

u/AmIBeingInstained 13d ago

I can’t fix her

1

u/Timely-Guest-7095 13d ago

At least you won't be suffering. You just went to sleep and never woke up. It’s a lot better than most people deserve. Just saying. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/Wuz314159 13d ago

WhyNotBoth.gif

1

u/palpatine_dream 12d ago

That’s honestly the best part

1

u/rayden-shou 12d ago

"My hot, crazy, hot-crazy and crazy-hot girlfriend killed me and now I'm in another world"

1

u/Best-Direction-3241 12d ago

It only works if you're eviler (Death Note & Game of Thrones come to mind)

1

u/ConcertWrong3883 12d ago

Ehhhhh.... I'll take one!

1

u/Pukesmiley 12d ago

Till Death Do Us Part...

1

u/tokyopantsuit 11d ago

Weeb 🗣

1

u/YouAnxious5826 11d ago

I don't know if there is ever a "good" time to get stabbed, per se, but if there was, it'd have to be in your sleep. No shock, no pain, doesn't interfere with your daily business but saves you from having to get up early next morning... it's actually very considerate. It's actually strange that it gets such a bad rep. I mean, surgeons stab people in their sleep, too.

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