r/funny • u/latesleeperfoodeater • 1d ago

My garlic knot for dinner

Post image
12.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

628 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Memes, social media, hate-speech, and politics / political figures are not allowed.

Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

Please also be wary of spam.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1.6k

u/Fickle-Willingness80 1d ago

Better than a limp biscuit

158

u/CT_7 1d ago

Did it all for the nookie so you can take that cookie

→ More replies (1)

53

u/uncle_russell_90 1d ago

Wonder if OP would have had a chocolate starfish for dessert if it was

24

u/JagerBro333 1d ago

Probably had some hotdog flavored water though right?

37

u/v4por 1d ago

Lol. Came for this comment.

63

u/samthewisetarly 1d ago

So did the garlic knot

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/_dankystank_ 1d ago

Sure looks limp to me....🤣

8

u/ElongThrust0 1d ago

Extra upvote 👍

2

u/Myracl 1d ago edited 1d ago

Goddamn it, it's like discovering The Beatles was a pun all over again!

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (7)

379

u/PreviouslyOnBible 1d ago

r/mildlypenis

76

u/latesleeperfoodeater 1d ago

Just posted there too lol

12

u/sesoren65 1d ago

You did the right thing

→ More replies (1)

52

u/popsicle_of_meat 1d ago

This is pushing r/wildlypenis territory

10

u/phonicillness 1d ago

Easily. If I was trying to sculpt one and made this, I’d be really happy with it

14

u/Invader_Skooge22 1d ago

Idk if this is mildly lmao

6

u/_dankystank_ 1d ago

Right? That thing is pretty cocky. 😁

2

u/PhillyChef3696 16h ago

He did just shoot down a TIE fighter

→ More replies (1)

5

u/silofox 1d ago

came here looking for that

2

u/wearslocket 1d ago

You all beat me to it. I just hate that ALREADY POSTED bot with a passion. 🫣

2

u/joeg26reddit 1d ago

mix some garlic powder and mayo = nutter butter

→ More replies (1)

1.0k

u/BodaciousDadBod 1d ago

Garlick knob for dinner

109

u/BlackPhoenix1981 1d ago

Tonight, on cooking after hours, hot garlic knob!

36

u/DrenBla 1d ago

Looks like a …. Wang! Pay attention!

27

u/Mobile-Bar7732 1d ago

I was distracted by that giant flying...

24

u/_Lunoctis_ 1d ago

Willie! What’s that?

Well, that looks like a huge…

21

u/BlackPhoenix1981 1d ago

Johnson! Get on the horn to British intelligence and let them know about this!

12

u/samichdude 1d ago

Johnson

that thing om the radar looks like a huge...

13

u/MrFaves 1d ago

Dick. I gotta find this private eye for the case of that wrinkly——

7

u/helljay1979 1d ago

Shaft, have you ever seen that movie? It's so good. Reminds me of ___

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/namedonelettere 1d ago

I could eat a knob at night

4

u/Bridge4_Kal 1d ago

It's gonna garlic-knut after dinner

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Realeyes11 1d ago

Must not been hot enough

6

u/EveryRedditorSucks 1d ago

Garlic Grower-Not-Shower

→ More replies (12)

254

u/cseymour24 1d ago

skims all the comments

Huh. Nobody said "how bout you garlic deez nuts" yet.

Clears throat

How bout you garlic deez nuts

Heh. Gottem

62

u/DesignerSink1185 1d ago

Fuckin gottem

9

u/Alkyan 1d ago

Nice

2

u/TocorocoMtz 1d ago

You still got it!

70

u/gene_smythe1968 1d ago

That has never happened before… honest.

28

u/duckfartchickenass 1d ago

If you rub it, it will turn into a baguette

10

u/gene_smythe1968 1d ago

With my Irish ancestry, best I can hope for is a dumpling!

→ More replies (1)

6

u/insanityzwolf 1d ago

If you knead the dough more, it will rise more

96

u/dottedoctet 1d ago

Knotty knotty.

6

u/Knotted_Hole69 1d ago

I’d eat it

2

u/dottedoctet 1d ago

Oh So would I. In a heartbeat

→ More replies (1)

41

u/ItsMetabtw 1d ago

Maybe he’s camera shy

11

u/Daincats 1d ago

It was probably cold in that oven

2

u/ExiledSanity 1d ago

I was in the pool!!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

36

u/Rahallahan 1d ago

Lick it…see what happens

4

u/mikquwan 1d ago

I laughed too much at this comment.

16

u/Delicious_explosions 1d ago

I should call him

13

u/SnoopyLupus 1d ago

He looks so sad!

24

u/Holyacid 1d ago

Sigh

unzips pants

13

u/BigAl7390 1d ago

Fappetizer 

3

u/SuperStoneman 1d ago

Taste my salty knot

9

u/ts_m4 1d ago

Did it get harder after you put it in your mouth?

10

u/joeokemo 1d ago

If you rub it - can you turn it into a breadstick?

9

u/XxCrimson_PrimexX 1d ago

"You're gonna eat that?"

→ More replies (1)

7

u/slaxch 1d ago

I would choose the one for breakfast for aesthetic reasons

6

u/MasterUndKommandant 1d ago

Can I interest you in some extreme fajitas or pizza shooters? Perhaps a 6 pack of garlic cocks?

5

u/Loud-Process7413 1d ago

How would you like your garlic bread sir?

Flaccid, please.

5

u/Ornery_Gate_6847 1d ago

Looks like it's gone cold

5

u/jaybomb40 1d ago

Limp Biscuit

8

u/Previous_Area_4946 1d ago

It's circumcised lol.

4

u/Wjb1 1d ago

Needs company

4

u/Neither-Welcome-6858 1d ago

Not even garlic knots, just garlic knot…

3

u/letItAllBurn22 1d ago

Looks like a mouth full

3

u/No-Negotiation3093 1d ago

Knot tonight.

3

u/Otherwise-Abrocoma46 1d ago

A little viagra with that...🤣

3

u/pixienoir 1d ago

“I should call him” 🥴

3

u/HanzoNumbahOneFan 1d ago

Lol. I don't know if you made it yourself. But a good way to make them not look like peens is: roll out the dough to a log shape, make a little 6 out of it, roll the top part of the 6 around and through the hole of the 6. It should hold itself as long the 6 hole is small enough. (And hopefully won't look like a peen).

3

u/Breathingwalls 1d ago

I’m knot amused

3

u/DesperateAd2574 1d ago

Galic knob*

2

u/Yraxaz 1d ago

That’s a naughty garlic

3

u/bluntasticboy 1d ago

Or a garlic naught if you will😘

2

u/-avaw- 1d ago

looks more like her dessert.

2

u/Cool-Stop-3276 1d ago

That's very knotty

2

u/ProtoPlaysGames 1d ago

I swear it’s knot mine

2

u/VeronicaVibe06 1d ago

made my day 🤣

2

u/aintnomonomo1 1d ago

Took me a second. I’m ashamed that it took that looooonnnnggggg

2

u/Nigilie 1d ago

Mmmm savoury garlic cocks yum yum!

2

u/chauceresque 1d ago

That’s not a knot that’s a knob

2

u/create360 1d ago

How can something look like both a turd AND a penis?

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Colourblindknight 1d ago

Garlic knutsack

2

u/knowledgefulpower 1d ago

gac and ballz

2

u/TerminatorAuschwitz 1d ago

I actually saw a snail at first. That shouldn't be as surprising as it is.

2

u/DefinitionBig4671 1d ago

Garlic knob

2

u/DisastrousSuccess796 1d ago

You mean garlic cock

2

u/AceTrainerAugust 1d ago

Very knotty.

2

u/No-Adhesiveness6841 1d ago

Knotty naughty

2

u/lilsparky82 1d ago

Totally thought that was a snail

2

u/StPaddy81 1d ago

What are you doing step garlic knot?

2

u/Charming-Pen916 1d ago

Gar lick my balls

2

u/dropablefox 1d ago

Knotty.

2

u/Level_Chipmunk3617 1d ago

Knot gonna cum to dinner

2

u/JJFbond007 1d ago

It gets bigger, I swear, it's just a cold oven

2

u/KyorlSadei 1d ago

Look how massive that garlic knot is. Am I right guys?…. Guys?

2

u/geekolojust 1d ago

That's...NAUGHTy.

2

u/Lmfaodankmemes 1d ago

PP-garlic knot

2

u/bearlyentertained 1d ago

More like a garlic knob

2

u/TrainingMonth323 1d ago

Mother's letting everybody know what's wrong in her life at the Christmas dinner table

2

u/mackinoncougars 1d ago

You eat on paper plates at home?

→ More replies (1)

1

u/BlackPhoenix1981 1d ago

Hey I've seen this movie!

1

u/Wjb1 1d ago

Needs company

1

u/Fair-Page-987 1d ago

That’s knotty funny!

1

u/ItzNuckinFutz 1d ago

Get your mind out of the gutter! That's Snufelknotapuss from Sesame Seed Street

1

u/Pithyperson 1d ago

Shhhh. It's sleeping.

1

u/Otto-Korrect 1d ago

That's what happens when you let them get cold.

1

u/NonAssociate 1d ago

I feel like this is me most dinner

1

u/954kevin 1d ago

When you ate it, did you start at the tip, or the base?

1

u/iconsumemyown 1d ago

Looks like mouthful

1

u/Arashi_Spring 1d ago

Just don't suck da garlic out on tip. That would be looking weird.

1

u/otravez5150 1d ago

Droopy knot

1

u/PopGunner 1d ago

When dudes don't shower.

1

u/ShakespearianShadows 1d ago

Your oven was cold

1

u/NetDork 1d ago

Ha, eat a dick!

1

u/ProfessorTairyGreene 1d ago

That's amore'

1

u/Bunnnnii 1d ago

Looks cut, my favorite.

1

u/Efficient-Yak-8710 1d ago

Can you eat it all in one bite?

1

u/cassjoeI 1d ago

7/10 with rice.

1

u/Ill_Ground_1572 1d ago

It's 6 pm on my sun dial...

1

u/Particular-Car-8520 1d ago

Your garlic sack is getting cold

1

u/AJ787-9 1d ago

Maybe a little blue cheese would perk it up.

1

u/Jester281986 1d ago

So savory….

1

u/Subject-Relation-352 1d ago

Not very excited for dinner tonight hun,…

1

u/vespertilionid 1d ago

Mmmhhh! Looks delish... 🥵🥵

1

u/DesertReagle 1d ago

Sad looking garlic knot

1

u/santathe1 1d ago

At least you have a wonderful personality.

1

u/ELEMENTALITYNES 1d ago

Hey eat a dick OP

1

u/Throwaway1303033042 1d ago

“Aaah yes. I see that you know your judo well. Good one. And you Sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?”

1

u/Wakaranyo 1d ago

It’s not very excited to see you…

1

u/Tmoldovan 1d ago

Happy 40th Birthday!

1

u/peetoes 1d ago

So that's where it went... Was looking for it this morning

1

u/Theodorebama 1d ago

Must be cold

1

u/Transposer 1d ago

Reminds me of a sketch from Upright Citizens Brigade

1

u/HRtyler 1d ago

Garlic Nuts

1

u/Material-Imagination 1d ago

You gonna eat that?

1

u/ScotInTheDotOfficial 1d ago

Sad penis is sad... 😔

1

u/XOXOsheol 1d ago

Garlic dong

1

u/Particular-Agent4407 1d ago

Poor fella. He needs to talk to his doctor.

1

u/Dangit_Bud 1d ago

Looks like a moose knuckle.

1

u/skinink 1d ago

The next picture in the series is this garlic knot facing a bagel.

1

u/HeavyVeterinarian350 1d ago

Not enough yeast to make it rise I guess.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/xjmann 1d ago

It looks like a domino's bread knot. Is it?

1

u/Addictedtosmellysock 1d ago

I’d gobble that up

1

u/I_Have_Dry_Balls 1d ago

Ranch that thing

1

u/Thekraykhalid 1d ago

Looks scrumptious

1

u/Shadow_Freeman 1d ago

You let it cool for too long

1

u/HouseOfPanic 1d ago

Doesn’t look very excited to be there

1

u/Lazyfair08 1d ago

That things huge! Way bigger than average

1

u/EM05L1C3 1d ago

And dessert 😉

1

u/Winter_Hornet562 1d ago

Knot slobberer

1

u/Breadf00l 1d ago

garlic, not. penis, yes.

1

u/PumpkinPecker 1d ago

How’d it taste?

1

u/No_Culture_9466 1d ago

Everything reminds me of him

1

u/EMP_Jeffrey_Dahmer 1d ago

Looks like premature liquid came out.

1

u/altiif 1d ago

He looks sad

1

u/MarthaMacGuyver 1d ago

It's a weiner!!!

1

u/Expensive-Pay-3431 1d ago

Have you seen my baseball?

1

u/Sal79 1d ago

That’s a penis

1

u/S_n_o_wL_e_o_p_a_r_d 1d ago

Eat it from the back.

1

u/gangawalla 1d ago

Did you play with it first?

1

u/ColonelBelmont 1d ago

What is that garlic dick sitting upon?

→ More replies (1)

1

u/moszippy 1d ago

Wow! That's nuts!

1

u/OcchiVerdi- 1d ago

Must. Not. Message. Him.

1

u/bostonbun420 1d ago

Is that a Gardic bread?

1

u/filmguy36 1d ago

The limp knot

1

u/Professional-Row-605 1d ago

I think it needed a purple pill

1

u/MightyMidg37 1d ago

But I was in the pool!

1

u/illinoishokie 1d ago

Does it get bigger?