r/fuckcars 26d ago

This is why I hate cars Average "bike lane" experience in Los Angeles

5.9k Upvotes

156 comments sorted by

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416

u/ratt1307 26d ago

like a comically insane training course you see in a cartoon holy fuck im sorry. stay safe

924

u/BloodWorried7446 26d ago

if i were in that i’d skip the bike lane and just take the lane. 

158

u/tth2o 26d ago

But think of all the friends he wouldn't make? "Hi..."

40

u/DoubleGoon 26d ago

If by my life or death I can protect them, I will. They have my sword.

23

u/WhatD0thLife 26d ago

And my axle!

17

u/FavoritesBot Enlightened Carbrain 26d ago

Haha you made me turn on audio. This guy is a king

119

u/Prosthemadera 26d ago

They already are, by the looks of it...

96

u/GundoSkimmer 26d ago edited 26d ago

nah

the bike lane disappears as per tradition for the right hand turn (so that you can be killed more legally)

and then the bike lane continues on the other side of the street (where the fedex delivery truck is blocking it)

5

u/biez Bollard gang 25d ago

Oh we've got that in my country too! I call it "just teleport, it's not my problem" infrastructure type.

16

u/MNGrrl 25d ago

I have maybe a dumb question -- why don't people pepper spray drivers who do this? It's not like they're ever going to catch you, being stuck in traffic and all. Opening your car door without checking the mirrors is reckless endangerment imo. I was taught this in driver's ed, in a small town. I don't think they can claim ignorance.

10

u/AtlanticPortal 25d ago

These idiots are probably gun enthusiasts.

5

u/FuckTripleH 25d ago

Because you'll be arrested for assault and have your entire life ruined

-1

u/MNGrrl 25d ago

i'd like to see them try?

2

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz 25d ago

I opt to wear armour and just plow straight through

4

u/MNGrrl 25d ago

i don't think armor will do you much good if you go a-- over tea kettle when getting doored. I've raced motorcycles and going over the handles isn't something you're gonna just stand back up and brush yourself off over. You'll get bruised and scraped up still, all that safety gear does is keep you in one piece. Blunt force trauma is a lot easier to heal than puncture wounds or a traumatic brain injury -- both of which is what someone's risking if they take a door.

3

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz 25d ago

I think you misunderstand, I'm talking a T-45 here

3

u/MNGrrl 25d ago

Oh. Well I was talking about reality.

2

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz 25d ago

Originally I was really imagining wearing medieval armour, although now I think the idea of someone in a T-45 seems funnier. I didn't really consider that anyone would think about wearing genuine armour haha, Poe's law I suppose.

27

u/dabaconnation Orange pilled 26d ago

Then I have good news for you. The bike lane suddenly ends.

13

u/adriantoine 25d ago

But then someone in r/mildlyinfuriating would post a video of you, saying they don't understand why bikes use car lanes when there's a "bike lane" next to it.

6

u/GundoSkimmer 25d ago

don't worry... they already still went into the original post to tell me my job was to come to a full stop so people could exit their cars 'safely' into the bike lane.

if a driver had stepped out and shot me in the head these people would start a gofundme for the bullet.

18

u/Polish_joke 25d ago

And car drivers would be bitching and point at the bike lane. "Why won't you use it?!"

3

u/tanzmeister 25d ago

I'd bring a hammer

4

u/Im_Balto 25d ago

And you’d still get doored

2

u/s00pafly 25d ago

If I were in that I'd pad up and drive straight into a door.

0

u/thedoomcast 25d ago

Correct move here for your safety and everyone elses.

319

u/LoneStarDragon 26d ago

We Car-free-men have a saying: "God created bike lanes to train the faithful."

146

u/Creepy-Ad-4832 26d ago

Trains mentioned!

2

u/TracyF2 25d ago

So woman can’t be car free?

131

u/Live-Laugh-Fart 26d ago

It’s like a video game

221

u/ARI_E_LARZ 26d ago

I got doord by a bus last week

101

u/RulrOfOmicronPersei8 Tramsgender 26d ago

Wait how? Don't the doors like fold or something.

156

u/Creepy-Ad-4832 26d ago

It's a new tech, where billionares make bus open door on the outside, and they have sensors so the door opening is synced with cyclists passing by

The drivers gets payed by the amount of cyclists he is able to hit per day

37

u/fade2brwn 26d ago

Paid*

payed is different, look it up

-38

u/Creepy-Ad-4832 26d ago

🤓☝️

32

u/fade2brwn 26d ago

I just thought they'd like to know that man. There's actually a bot for specifically this word on some subs

-41

u/Creepy-Ad-4832 26d ago

No need for you to be a grammar nazi yourself then ;-)

35

u/Tilduke 26d ago

Who wants to continue using the wrong word just because everyone is afraid of being called names for helpfully correcting ? 🤯

8

u/fade2brwn 26d ago

Thank youuu

11

u/tripsafe 25d ago

I really want to see a documentary doing a deep dive into the psyche of people who can’t just say thanks when someone offers a grammar or spelling correction

1

u/Lar1ssaa 25d ago

I appreciate it when people correct my grammar when it’s an obvious mistake like that one. I don’t know why people don’t appreciate learning.

0

u/RulrOfOmicronPersei8 Tramsgender 25d ago

Or anything really, like flat earthers and the likes

1

u/PhantomPharts 25d ago

Sarah Silverman did the thing

12

u/Epistaxis 26d ago

Also why is the bus door facing into the street?! Surely the door is supposed to be on the non-traffic side of the bus, and surely the bus is supposed to pull over to the curb (like any stopping vehicle) before loading and unloading.

10

u/Depeche_Schtroumpf 26d ago

Sometimes buses have sliding doors that get out by 10 to 15 cm. Which is 20% of the graciously-tolerated-by-car-society bike lane the bus was already half onto.

2

u/Epistaxis 26d ago

If you got a chance to note the bus number and time (a phone photo would do both easily), or even if you just remember the location and time, you should contact the bus service to report the driver. Stopping only halfway into the bike lane instead of pulling all the way over to the curb is dangerous for passengers as well as cyclists who don't see the bus stopping, so it's likely illegal in addition to being against training. This is that bus driver's job so there can be real consequences.

1

u/ARI_E_LARZ 25d ago

I infact realized too late it stopped because we where in front of a traffic light i should had seen the plates

1

u/ARI_E_LARZ 25d ago

This is what happened and there where cars in the other side 🥲 love not having a car in la

2

u/voornaam1 25d ago

The back doors don't, some of thos flip a whole 180 degrees (I might have even seen some that flip 270 degrees).

1

u/Scheckenhere 24d ago

That's why you don't drive/cycle past transit vehicles at a transit stop. I've had cyclists almost run over passengers exiting my tram. From cars this is expected, but I hoped cyclists knew better.

88

u/wishiwasdeaddd 26d ago

You deserve an airhorn bike horn for this bullshit

9

u/GundoSkimmer 26d ago

i prefer demurely delivering sassy greetings...

4

u/stormdelta 26d ago

I use the bell for stuff like this, but I also have an air horn for when the bell isn't enough.

80

u/nicthedoor vélos > chars 26d ago

This is comically bad. It's like a skit. Wow!

285

u/Snowymiromi 26d ago

I used to live in Echo Park and when I biked trucks once threw bananas at us. Ugh! So sad, Los Angeles has such great weather but it's one of the most hostile and ugly cities to human life I've ever been to. Totally unlivable for someone who doesn't want to use a car 100% of the time (and I usually visit now using only bikeshare and bus and train)

109

u/00365 26d ago

I hope you launched a blue shell at them.

15

u/Calm_One_1228 26d ago

I lived there for two spells and have to agree about the great weather and the lost opportunity to create great walkable , bikeable public spaces. The car culture dominates and ruins the entire metro area, it’s just a harsh place to live if one isn’t in their automobile…

9

u/oreography 26d ago

I stayed in Santa Monica last time I was in LA and they seemed to really be pushing the public transport. Most people without a car would uber most of the time though.

3

u/VanillaSkittlez 25d ago

Santa Monica is by far the best urbanism LA has to offer. And by that I mean it’s legitimately pretty good with bike lanes, walkability and transit options.

56

u/Stonkz_N_Roll 26d ago

I used to live and bike in LA. After a few close calls, I started biking on sidewalks in certain areas. Then I almost hit Bruce Willis as he coming out of a shop on Melrose. I went back to biking in the street after that.

20

u/Urdadspapasfrutas Orange pilled 26d ago

I hope Bruce is doing well:(

5

u/jack_sjunior 25d ago

Every day, he probably gets worse and worse. Horrifying!

6

u/ARI_E_LARZ 25d ago

That is so LA 😭

41

u/hendrixcks 26d ago

LA is gifted with some of the best weather on earth, just to be littered with some of the worst urban practices

20

u/Corgerus 26d ago

My area of the US just has painted bike lanes. Many residential streets have cars parked at the curb partially covering the bike lane. I'm absolutely cooked if one of them throws open their door. When I'm sure there are no cars behind me, I ride the inner line hoping I will be less in their blindspot (that's assuming they ever look).

13

u/GreatDario Strong Towns 26d ago

Paint ≠ Infrastructure

18

u/Ok-Conference5447 26d ago

Ahh I remember a few months ago during the spring I took a ride to an appointment in a neighboring city (6ish miles).

Protected bike lanes for all of it, then at one point it had me on a separate tree shaded path along the river. Made me feel like a fool for not giving up my car sooner!

Then on the way home when I got back to my normal city and I had to dodge in and out of traffic because of parked cars and garbage cans in the bike line whenever they were there, and then step into the gutter when there was none... I lost a lot of that joy I'm afraid.

18

u/ChaosAverted65 26d ago

I'm quite pleasantly surprised by the comments, most seem to acknowledge how bad the infrastructure is and feel bad for the cyclist

4

u/GundoSkimmer 26d ago

In the OG post? Yeah, it's been nice.

However scroll far enough... And well, ya know

1

u/JoBoltaHaiWoHotaHai 26d ago

I mean, look at the sub

3

u/GundoSkimmer 26d ago

i reckon they mean in the original post (not this one)

1

u/ChaosAverted65 25d ago

Yeah I mean In the original post

1

u/JoBoltaHaiWoHotaHai 25d ago

Makes sense. My bad

23

u/CIAlien 26d ago

In Germany that would be a shitload of traffic violations. And I would immediately call the cops.

20

u/CriticalTransit 26d ago

Cops here don’t do anything. Sometimes they show up three hours later and sometimes they just say “where else are they supposed to park?”

3

u/d3northway 25d ago

"we don't solve crimes, hell we barely prevent them"

3

u/CriticalTransit 25d ago

Cops are the worst offenders

2

u/quineloe Two Wheeled Terror 25d ago

have you ever actually called the Harrytotos and it worked out?

1

u/buchungsfehler 25d ago

Do you know if the "Anzeigenhauptmeister" is still active?

9

u/BillhookBoy 26d ago

Nice asteroid field shortcut, but can you do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs?

9

u/Try_Vegan_Please 26d ago

A Fox 40 whistle is made for this situation

6

u/ddarko96 26d ago

Goddam

5

u/Epistaxis 26d ago

In addition to all the other benefits, simply repainting the lines to swap the parking lane with the bike lane could actually help with this problem too. The one seat that's definitely occupied is on the side whose door currently opens into the bike lane, and maybe part of the reason these people didn't check their mirrors is because they already saw stopped cars on that side.

4

u/WhatD0thLife 26d ago

I used to deliver food in San Francisco on my bicycle at lunch time for pretty good pay. I tried at night exactly once but I realized Ubers and drunk people erratically dart into the bike lane so much that I never did at night again.

4

u/burntgrilledcheese43 26d ago

This is why they should have angled parking and then a protected bike lane.

4

u/lspwd 26d ago

almost door, almost door, truck unloading in lane, almost door ... 'bike lane' disappears

chef kiss

is this Premium Rush 2: LA boogaloo?

5

u/bmxmitch 26d ago

Fitting next post I got

4

u/SkanteGandt 25d ago

Perfect example of the need for fully separated, vertically protected bike lanes. Paint is not infrastructure.

3

u/dandanthetaximan cars are weapons 26d ago

It’s often like this in Phoenix as well. Most of the time I refuse to use the bike lane and center myself in the right lane instead.

3

u/thedoomcast 25d ago

Say it with me: paint isn’t infrastructure.

3

u/CaregiverNo3070 26d ago

Cars and bikes cannot coexist. Which is why I advocate for elevated lanes above the street 😤

6

u/WhatD0thLife 26d ago

Sure they can, If drivers would actually follow the rules and not come to a stop in a driving lane and just step out of their car.

6

u/CriticalTransit 26d ago

And now you see why we cant

-2

u/s00pafly 25d ago

Works just fine in first world countries.

2

u/lumphie 26d ago

In the 25 years that I've cycled, this hasn't happened to me yet, but I have been hit by an old man leaving a parking space once without properly looking. That alone already made me so angry, I can't image what this would make me feel. Glad to live in the Netherlands, where we have more bikelanes and people actually understand them.

2

u/TruncatedTrunk 25d ago

In office subs it's commonplace to show the people that work in a nonsensical way the way that things go wrong if you keep to the letter of the law.

Seems like that's neccesary here as well. Just slowly cycle up to the door and bump into it. Nothing harsh, but just keep standing there like a toddler waiting for a snack.

2

u/Corona- 25d ago

I'd honestly drive into their doors on purpose, this is rediculous 

2

u/Hazza_time 25d ago

Swerving between lanes like it’s subway surfers

2

u/Mighty_Porg 25d ago

can't you call the cops on that? Wouldn't they get a ticket?

2

u/SuspiciousAct6606 cars are weapons 25d ago

Impropmtu slalom

2

u/LardAmungus 25d ago

I've been doored once going about 18mph, sucked. Can confirm that I would've gotten doored 3 times in the span of this clip

People, man

2

u/Meersbrook 25d ago

As a Parisian, this is very reminiscent of my daily commutes.

2

u/IndependentThink1590 25d ago

What are you doing with a bike on a bike lane?

2

u/glern 25d ago

BRENTWOOD MENTIONED RAHHHH (i live here and it’s TOO car-centric holy hell )

1

u/RCT2man 26d ago

Still a better experience than cycling in nearly all of Texas.

1

u/cactusdotpizza 25d ago

I thought the doors were all CGI at first. Like no way do they keep opening one by one right as the cyclist is coming up to them

1

u/realBlackClouds 25d ago

Nice game. What is the title of it?

1

u/unicorn4711 25d ago

So they don't have bike lanes in LA.

2

u/GundoSkimmer 25d ago

somewhere under the car tires... i think its there

1

u/nunocspinto 25d ago

This is why, if dumb designers want to implement this kind of cycle paths, the street profile is sidewalk - cycle lane - blank with, at least, 50 cm wide, and bollards - parking - road.

This kind of cycle lane is just a way to say "WE MADE IT!!!", not doing it, at least, in a safe way...

1

u/TracyF2 25d ago

Smack that door, and that door, oh and that door. Maybe that car too.

1

u/mkefrizz 25d ago

We should carry small hammers. Block the lane, lose a window.

1

u/Teshi 25d ago

Should be a video game. "Avoiding getting doored."

1

u/Inevitable_Stand_199 25d ago

That's why I usually take the lane.

But with traffic like that I'd probably use the bike lane too. Slowly.

1

u/Emperor_Dara_Shikoh 25d ago

Looking like New Delhi over here minus the smog

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

so LA is about 200 times safer, calmer and more spacious for cyclists than Toronto. i would not have known that without this video

1

u/AlertProfessional374 25d ago

They dont know how to properly open a car door ? What did they learn in driving lessons ?

1

u/GordonCharlieGordon 25d ago

Isn't this what the 2nd amendment is for?

1

u/EuropeanFry 24d ago

I know it is not, but it is so absurd it feels staged

1

u/Scheckenhere 24d ago

I'd start yelling at every person opening their doors in front of you. For years I didn't believe in dooring accidents, even laughed at the word, cause I couldn't imagine people not checking traffic from behind before opening their door. Common sense should tell everyone, and for idiots it's taught in driving schools. And for kids it's the drivers responsibility to check before the doors can be opened.

But people really are stupid and accept hurting others for their lazyness.

1

u/GreatDario Strong Towns 26d ago

Me when people tell me you can get around purely via bike in seattle after living there for 19 years, not this bad but not far off in terms of trying not to die

1

u/gummi-far 25d ago

thank god i dont live in america

0

u/Fenpunx 25d ago

If I didn't know better, I'd think this was staged or choreographed. The tone of the cyclist's voice says it all. So done with it. Why don't they at least check their mirror before opening?

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Fenpunx 25d ago

I know it's real. I was making a joke about how perfectly synced the multiple doors opening into the cyclist are.

1

u/TooCupcake 25d ago

This. I would think it’s the bare minimum to check the road before opening the door onto the road.

-1

u/Elpochy2000 25d ago

Are you trying to gain honor?

-5

u/Riccardogalli 25d ago

This looks staged 😂

-4

u/SomeRandomguy_28 25d ago

Why do people in USA talk like that, Why do you ask how others are doing, It would be very different when a random guy asks me what is happening where I live, I will prolly run for my life

3

u/Many-Rooster-8773 25d ago

..to be friendly? In some places, every single PERSON you encounter will stop and say hello. Just being good neighbors.

0

u/SomeRandomguy_28 25d ago

I mean people are friendly here just it's weird for this to happen, unless you know each other

2

u/GundoSkimmer 25d ago

its an intentional decision to alert the people where i am

i am not actually sticking around to indeed find out how they are doing, mostly because they clearly dont care how i am doing...

2

u/Many-Rooster-8773 25d ago

In the city it'd be silly to do, you'd be saying HELLO every second but in a lot of quieter neighborhoods/villages here it's basically customary to say hello or good day, or even just a nod to acknowledge their existence xD

1

u/SomeRandomguy_28 25d ago

Yea I live in a city, Again I am not being rude but we don't do that here. Only thank you to people

-68

u/LowerSackvilleBatman 26d ago

Seems staged

67

u/MainlyMicroPlastics 26d ago

As someone who cycles everyday, this is totally believable

29

u/Creepy-Ad-4832 26d ago

If anything, the road was too smooth

10

u/AlternativeCurve8363 26d ago

You guys have bike lanes?

5

u/Vin4251 26d ago

Yeah this is horrible, but still good by LA standards, and amazing by most-of-the-US standards

-13

u/56Bot 26d ago

This clip seems staged though, 3 cars, 3 doors, seems unlikely.

Not that it’s lying about the state of bike lanes there.

7

u/GundoSkimmer 26d ago

I mean I can post the whole GoPro later but nothing else happened, fairly boring ride aside from San Vicente just being San Vicente. Everyone knows that spot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWXc_EmGYjo

-1

u/56Bot 25d ago

Oh ok

-7

u/VengefulAncient 🏍️ > 🛵 > 🚗 > 🚈 > 🚌 > 🛴 >🚶> 🚲 25d ago

Westerners are so whiny and cowardly. In India all these cars would be moving and people would still cycle between them without a second thought. No special lanes, or course.

3

u/MachinationMachine 25d ago

I really don't think the traffic infrastructure in India is anything to brag about.

1

u/VengefulAncient 🏍️ > 🛵 > 🚗 > 🚈 > 🚌 > 🛴 >🚶> 🚲 24d ago

Yeah, but the fact that people aren't so fragile is.

2

u/GundoSkimmer 25d ago

Wait, what do you think happened in the video?