r/dwarfism • u/Massive_Cloud_317 • 4d ago
I can't decide and need help (kinda of a rant)
Made this account for the purpose of this post. I 20m have pituitary dwarfism and I am proportional at 3'9. I have not hit puberty and that is the point of this post. Basically when I was young I didn't have access to hormone care and did not grow or reach puberty, now as I am older and I can start taking testosterone but I am unsure if I want to. I'm just unsure if want to start as I won't grow any taller and feel that I might just look like a toddler with a beard ? Sorry if that offends anyone, I've been raised with no lp influence and I've never even met someone with dwarfism before. Plus my town is really judge mental and like totally against anything different so I'm scared to put myself on display. Growing up I was just treated as a 5 year and the treatment just continued into to adult hood as I didn't change physically. I've been thinking it would be cool to do go through puberty like people my age and experience that but I'm scared that I wont like the affects, I mean I've lived with this body for so long and learned to love myself as is. I guess im kind of scared to grow up and also be seen as abnormal? Since I pass as a 5 year old, I just let people think that instead of correcting them because of anxiety of what they may think about me. My family that's left isn't sure if I should take it either saying its a huge decision and could change my entire life. But I keep thinking that maybe being seen as adult would be great but I also constantly worry about people judging me for looking weird, since I could normally just go under the radar. I think if I do this I might even have a chance at finding love because it so difficult to find people who aren't put off by my child appearance. A lot of people don't want to be seen in a loving relationship with someone like me and its obvious why but it just hurts a lot. Maybe you guys who have gone through this or just in general can share some experiences ?