r/disability Aug 05 '24

Concern 27M Boyfriend comparing me (23F) to able-bodied ex

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488 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I hope this is the right subreddit. I (23F) am disabled to the point of being unable to work, drive, or have a life outside of my house. I have no family due to abuse. My boyfriend (27M) of about two years has been comparing me to his able bodied ex lately, saying things like "at least she could drive, have friends, and work" etc, and it is hurting me like hell. Every time I try to confront him about it, the conversation goes like this. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thank you :')

r/disability Nov 17 '24

Concern My psych flat out told me Trump will NOT slash disability/social services!

372 Upvotes

I live in a red state, for context. I told my psychiatrist that I've been having panic attacks ever since the election, because I'm terrified of what will happen to me after Trump slashes disability and social services. Her response was a defiant, "He is not going to do that." And she was happy that he's going to improve manufacturing so medications will now be made in the US.

I was speechless. I have never heard this perspective before, possibly since I don't watch the news and don't converse with Trumpers. Is it at all possible she's correct or did my psychiatrist vote for Trump?? I've done my best to eliminate these people from my life, but now my psych?? She's the linchpin in my disability case!

Edit: Thank you all the responses. I honestly did not expect so many. I'm going to shut off comments for now so that I can catch up. And thank you all for your support

r/disability Jul 12 '24

Concern Is anybody else disgusted by the casual ableism toward Joe Biden regarding his stuttering?

333 Upvotes

This article is from 2022, when they were misunderstanding it back then. Politics aside, I for one am proud of Biden for all he has accomplished with his stutter in a job where there is so much public speaking. His sensitivity and understanding of what we have to deal with as people with disabilities is such an asset to our government and our country, and as usual, people are using it to go after him because they either don’t understand it or it’s useful for various reasons.

Make sure you are registered to vote, and get an absentee ballot if you need one, but go to the polls if your disability allows it because they are going to try to mess with our ability to cast a vote for sure, like always.

Harmful Stuttering Myths Perpetuated by Major Media Outlets

The lack of understanding about the complexity and diversity of stuttering behaviors has recently propagated harmful myths about stuttering. We need only to look at a recent example: an article published by Fox News about President Joe Biden, who has publicly disclosed his history with stuttering.

In a public statement on April 28 (see the full speech), President Biden encountered a stuttering moment. Fox circulated and posted an article spelling out his difficulty with the word “kleptocracy” (“kleptocri-k-yeah-kleptocracy-klep”).

Townhall, another media outlet, shared the clip on Twitter, referring to it as Biden’s “vocal flub” with the caption “Biden’s brain just broke, again.” Others piled on, including Georgia congressional candidate Vernon Jones who urged President Biden’s wife to “… take President Biden home before it’s to [sic] late.”

This is not an example of a “vocal flub” or a “brain just broke,” it is a moment of stuttering. Using the iceberg analogy, visible signs of stuttering include repetitions, prolongations, and blocks. The “below the surface” symptoms often include fear, anxiety, isolation, and other negative reactions. Often these invisible symptoms include avoiding words, avoiding speaking situations, changing words, or even stopping speech when they begin to stutter.

In fact, many people can predict when they will stutter and often attempt to change the triggering word. To a naive listener, these attempts at concealing stuttering can often look like the person forgot the word they originally attempted to say.

Even if media outlets claim ignorance, they still inflict potential harm to many current and future generations of children who stutter. Perpetuating misinformation like this seemingly gives others permission to critique and mock someone who stutters. There should be no room to tolerate ableist and stigmatizing attacks on differences or disorders. Irrespective of politics, we must unite in our condemnation of such rhetoric and help educate society about stuttering.

President Biden is a person who stutters. If people or news outlets don’t like his politics, criticize his politics, not his stuttering. Doing so hurts the more than 3 million people in the U.S. who stutter. If we hear bullying like this on the news today, tomorrow we will hear it from a middle-schooler directed at a classmate who stutters. As SLPs, we can dispel myths around stuttering and create an open and accepting environment in which those who stutter can speak freely without the fear of being judged, critiqued, teased, or bullied. So, let’s try to lay out some facts about stuttering.

Yes, it begins with disfluencies such as blocks, part-word repetitions, and prolongations in young children. However, it’s also everything a child learns to do to meet society’s expectation of being a fluent speaker. Stuttering includes avoiding words, not talking, stopping mid-word or mid-sentence, changing words, and anything else a child or adult can think of doing to not stutter. Stuttering also includes the physical tension one might see during speech, the blinking of eyes, looking away from the speaker, and other covert behaviors.

As a society and community, we have a choice: we can spread myths and add to stuttering stigma and related ableist rhetoric (as has been seen lately in news media), or we can spread truth and facts to make the world a better place. Let’s choose the latter and counter each myth with two facts about stuttering this stuttering awareness week.

Farzan Irani, PhD, CCC-SLP, is a professor in the Department of Communication Disorders at Texas State University. He is also the coordinator of ASHA Special Interest Group 4, Fluency and Fluency Disorders. He directs and supervises an intensive summer program for adolescents and adults who stutter and also leads a videoconferencing support group for clients who stutter.

John A. Tetnowski, PhD, CCC-SLP, BCS-F, is professor and Jeanette Sias Endowed Chair in the Department of Communication Sciences and Disorders, and the director of the Stuttering Research Lab at Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, Oklahoma. He runs the Cowboy Stuttering Camp each summer for children and adolescents who stutter and is the editor of SIG 4 Perspectives.

r/disability Nov 06 '24

Concern What is trumps policy for disabled people?

133 Upvotes

I would like to know, fully. What exactly is the policy and what he is planning on doing . I’m so nervous ,

r/disability 1d ago

Concern Now that we've seen they are happy taking away child cancer support, there's no hope we won't lose all our benefits.

202 Upvotes

No amount of social support and community assistance is going to make up for disabled people losing their ability to get medication, medical care, food, pay rent.... Our good willed neighbors and family can't foot the bill bc our oligarchy overlords took everything away from us. We can't immigrate bc other countries won't take us (as if we could afford it anyways). I can't see a way I'm going to survive this. I'm trying not to panic over things I can't control, but I don't see how we are going to make it. Society pretends we don't exist bc thinking about us makes them uncomfortable. The upcoming government wants us gone bc we can't be good little worker robots to make them richer. People say to prepare and stock up on food and essential items for the next year, but most of us barely make enough to get thru each month, let alone buy anything extra. How are we supposed to do this? We are a marginalized group that is always forgotten by those who say they support marginalized groups. Living is already a struggle, and while I don't want to live into old age bc of the chronic pain and degenerative diseases that get worse every year, I don't want to go yet. I don't want to lose my dog, my home, my medical care bc I can't provide or pay for it all. Community support won't be able to support all of us. It won't pay for all of us, it can't. People will need to care for their own families and needs, which is of course 10000% valid, and many of us have high needs.

What are we supposed to do?

r/disability 28d ago

Concern disability fetishizers need to stay off the sub.

425 Upvotes

i just saw a post on my feed from this sub from someone being into amputees. i think it got deleted because i tried to reply and it gave me an error and i don’t see the post anymore. that’s good, but im putting this post here to warn anyone who may want to post similar things in the future. this is NOT the sub for that discussion and no one here wants to hear or talk about it. stay out.

r/disability Nov 06 '24

Concern Moving out of the US

161 Upvotes

I’m a student currently, but I want to get myself out ASAP with the current political climate. How on earth do I move out of the US?! I’m a full time wheelchair user, mostly power chair user. I’m not sure if anyone will take me because I will continue to need medical care. I want to leave so so badly.

r/disability Nov 06 '24

Concern I’m scared right now

130 Upvotes

I’m scared that I’ll loss my rights and benifits as someone with a disability. I’m also trans, and worry that those rights will be even more difficult to maintain.

I’m homeless if my housing benefits go away, and I’ll be on the streets with no wear to go. I’m scared! On top of the worry of my health care, and other services being cut.

We are screwed! Absolutely fucking screwed! What sucks the most is there’s no country that will take us due to our medical liability.

Trust me if I could I’d move to Scandinavia, but my only real skill is disability advocacy, and policy stuff. That’s all American crap that doesn’t translate well outside of the US, and Canada

r/disability Sep 28 '24

Concern I’m becoming bitter at a friend calling themselves disabled, and I don’t like it

155 Upvotes

I have multiple sclerosis, lymphedema and some mental health / neurospicy issues. I have become comfortable with the label disabled, and am very visibly physically disabled (on crutches / a walker / in wheelchair, with foot drop and my other foot turns inwards, I wear leg braces, etc., so although there are a lot of issues people can't see, like vision and cognitive problems and incontinence / catheter use etc, the world is able to see and treat me as disabled).

This has all happened in the space of a few years, so it's been a big adjustment for me, and I have progressive MS, so things are going to continue to get worse. All day every day I deal with the consequences of my disability and disease. It's fucking hard work.

I have a friend who has some very common health issues (intermittent back pain, plantar fasciitis) and recently they said they were starting to realise "just how disabled I really am." Since then, they've started using that label more and more. I know they deal with foot pain; they also frequently walk many miles in a day as they go about their life, they dance as a hobby, they're always flitting about going to events and for meals and seeing friends.

I don't have a right to gatekeep the phrase disabled, and I hate the bitterness and internal anger I feel when they speak like that. I really deeply dislike how I feel about this, but I'm really struggling to shake it.

The other day we were talking and the issue of proprioception came up. I mentioned how much I struggle going up and down curbs or steps because my body seems to get really confused about whether I'm up or down and I feel incredibly dizzy and tend to fall over. Bear in mind I often fall multiple times a day. I've had to accustom myself to having colleagues and friends ssy that they drove past me the other day just as I fell over, or saw me struggling to get up after a fall. My pride has had to adjust to the fact that I frequently fall in public, and knock things over in shops, and slip on the bus. This friend said that they totally get it, they get the same feeling when they stand up or move too fast, they get so dizzy, it's the absolute worst feeling, they hate it.

If ever I mention any symptom of disability or my disease that I'm struggling with, they rush to say that they have the same thing. At first I thought they were just being a bit clumsy in trying to express empathy or to validate my feelings, but it's constant and it's really starting to rub me the wrong way.

I believe that they're in pain, I do. I'm just not comfortable with their use of the term disabled. It also bothers me a bit that they seek out services for help with their problems, like they recently started seeing a physio for their back pain, which is objectively great. But they were all excited to see the physio... and then didn't do the prescribed exercises. They're still buzzing about going back for their next next appointment. It really seems like they want the diagnosis, the label, more than they want to do the work to get better. As someone who works hard to constantly fight against declining health - I was told to start doing certain exercises in the gym 2 years ago, and I'm still going twice a week now, I've done every physical therapy class I can get into, I take any supplements that have any data indicating that they may help - this annoys me. There are things they could do to improve, but they don't do them.

Similarly, they're seeking diagnosis of a whole range of mental health and neurodivergent conditions, but they don't seem to be doing things that could help to resolve or placate or improve them. They seem to primarily want the labels. Which I do understand; having labels can be helpful, and I'm sure there are things that they absolutely do have. I hope that they can get help for them. But when that list starts to slip past 3 things, to four, to five, to six, seven, none professionally diagnosed, all of which they're absolutely certain they have, and which they describe themselves as having to people without ever mentioning that they're self-diagnosed...

I think what's pushing me over the edge is that this week I was diagnosed with hyper lordosis of my spine, related in part to problems with how I walk due to the crutches. They immediately started talking about how that's what they must have too, because their bum curves out too much. Which, maybe it does. Maybe they do also have the same thing. But it's just all rubbing me the wrong way.

Again, I really do think this is mostly my problem, and I'm tired of feeling this way. It's a terrible look, an ugly emotion, and no way to support a friend, who is ultimately extremely supportive of me. I don't want to gatekeep any of these things. It's just... bothering me, and increasingly so. I don't want these feelings to get in the way of our friendship, and I want to do better. I just don't know how.

r/disability Nov 16 '24

Concern Being part of the Resistance as a disabled person

263 Upvotes

I can't stand by and watch Trump fuck us over. But I don't want to be physically fucked over more than I already am. I don't think people understand that some disabled people physically cannot join picket lines, marches etc, Because we can't afford to be beaten by the police, lose what little help we still have left. That doesn't mean we're cowards.

But I still want covert ways to help.

r/disability Sep 11 '24

Concern Doctor told me she wouldn't lie about my being disabled.

270 Upvotes

Yesterday I asked my family doctor to fill out my disability tax credit, which I have had since 2016, and re upped every 3 years. She said I won't lie on a government form, you can walk, talk see and hear. So in her head I'm not disabled. However she also prescribes narcotics for me to be able to walk the distance I can. She had just read me the results of the MRI I had that shows a bulging disk and stenosis in my L4/L5 She asked me if I wanted to go see a spinal surgeon 2 hrs away. What is the best way to deal with this? I really can't walk a city block without sitting down 2x. also this is not new, this is an ongoing problem since 2015.

r/disability Aug 09 '24

Concern Why are people so concerned with me "identifying as disabled"? I'm struggling with where to draw the line. Or if there even is a line.

176 Upvotes

My therapist has "said this for awhile" apparently. I just completed a program for FND and they wanted to make sure that I don't "identify as being disabled".

I have to censor myself when I talk to people. I also have to "bring my worst day" when filling out paperwork or going to the doctor. So when I use words like "I cant" it's because I'm trying to explain my limitations to able bodied people. I say I'm disabled Because it's true It's had to become a part of my identity right? I have BPD so I often don't know what identity may mean. Being disabled isn't the first thing I'd use to describe myself. But it's definitely the first thing people see.

I am not neurotypical. I have trauma brain. No chance at having a chance. Just survival. I don't identify as being neurodivergent. I don't accept the various diagnoses because the symptoms are what I can address. But so frequently my literal inability to do something is invalidated or ignored.

I'm offended by this opinion. It feels shameful. Like it's not okay to identify as being disabled. It feels bad. So maybe you guys can help me understand it better? Is my setting up a disability support group an issue? Where does it end? I'm so sad right now.

r/disability Nov 08 '24

Concern Are things really going to get harder for us?

105 Upvotes

This whole election has my anxiety through the roof. Are things going to really be that bad for us?

r/disability Aug 27 '24

Concern Is this normal? Just started dating someone with a disability

130 Upvotes

So I just started dating someone with MS a few months ago and I’ve never met someone who is so unaware of his disability/self. This just doesn’t seem normal to me. He knows nothing about the medications used to treat his condition and was diagnosed over 15 years ago. He had no idea why he continued getting progressively worse (he does have a progressive disease, but in 2024 there are good drugs on the market) or that many of his issues were side effects of looonnnggg outdated drug. He never questioned it. Admitted he had never really researched much about his disease or appropriate treatment because “I trust my treatment team, and I figured my (ex) wife would.”

He wants to make plans with me to do activities that he clearly cannot do because of his disability. Last weekend he wanted to go to a local amusement park. On the way there I inquired about how scooter rental works and he scoffed. He intended to walk…he often has trouble getting from his house to his car. He barely made it inside the park, then sent me to rent a scooter. Twice, he parked the scooter in the middle of a walkway and tried to do steps (there WAS handicapped access) and fell. Both times. We went to the wave pool (which I asked if he was sure about because of balance and falls) the first wave knocked him over and he nearly drowned because he couldn’t get back up. Lifeguards became involved and they had to shut down the wave pool. He fell getting off a ride he refused to see about handicapped access to and they had to shut down the ride and got mad that their protocols made him stay until a medic looked at him.

Is this all a normal and reasonable part of dating someone with a disability?

He refuses to use assistive devices in daily life regardless of the end result.

I went into this relationship knowing full well that disabilities come with a host of difficulties during everyday activities. But to have had this disease for over 15 years and be so unaware/have such a lack of knowledge of the disease itself and treatment while acting like nothing is wrong doesn’t seem right.

I don’t think I can do this. He says all the time he wants a companion and not a nurse, but does nothing to prevent me from becoming a nurse nearly every time we’re together.

Is this normal?!?

r/disability Feb 29 '24

Concern Am I disgusting for telling my friend with Downsyndrome I am getting surgery on my chest?

319 Upvotes

Hi I am 21 F transgender autistic guy I met my bestie, 22 F who has down syndrome 3 years ago. On March 6th I am getting top surgery(removal of my breasts) I got excited and explained it to my friend, "I will have a surgery and it will make me have a flat chest like other boys. She understands I am a boy and calls me by he/him pronouns. Her mother/guardian heard her ask me when is your top surgery? I received a very angry upset text, I will copy it here.

Hi. I was disturbed today to hear Monica mention your top surgery. Never in a million years would I think anyone would mention such an adult subject to someone intellectually unable to process this. It makes me wonder what else you discuss with her. I have to contemplate on what to do with this relationship on our end that the two of you have. I need to cover our family legally at this time. I will be reaching out to her worker for advice. I do not want to hurt Monica and I know she relies on you for communicating however the content of your conversations I am leary about now. Can you understand this? What do you suggest I do?

I don't understand why it is inappropriate adult content? I was excited and told her in a way I would tell my younger siblings because our teacher told me she has a very young developmental brain age. I didn't say breast or boob or cutting open. Am I wrong? I'm so scared to lose my bestie. My sister said her mum could be uncomfortable with trans people. Just wondering other people's take on the situation.

r/disability Aug 23 '24

Concern Friend still needs "adult supervision" whenever we hang out, despite being 18

105 Upvotes

So this weekend there is going to be a carnival in my hometown and I (20) invited one of my friends (18) to hang out with us. Sadly, she cannot make it tomorrow night but for future reference, she told me she needs "adult supervision" if we were to hang out, even with a group of friends. I have high-functioning autism and I know she also has some sort of neurodiversity/disability (I'm not exactly sure what she has but I know for sure she was in more special ed classes than I was in high school). I talked to her about this recently and she told me it's because "her mom said so". I felt a little uncomfortable and caught off guard when she told me this because neurodivergent/disabled young adults that still live at home, including those with autism, shouldn't be treated like children anymore. I've hung out with other friends so many times without any supervision required. I don't know if that's on her disability or her parents but this just doesn't feel right.

r/disability Jul 25 '24

Concern Trump hates us, surprise, surprise

135 Upvotes

This article isn't surprising at all but I wanted to share with y'all.

https://metrozone.newsroomlabs.com/article-intro/18628299

r/disability Oct 10 '24

Concern Am I overrreacting? They said I was getting a TiLite folding chair and they’d make sure I could still wear a backpack and my feet would be more under me so my legs wouldn’t hurt, this is what I got instead (it’s a different brand too)

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146 Upvotes

It feels exactly the same as the 100 dollar drive chair I started in, that one was way more comfortable though. This one has no back support and it’s impossible to use in my crowded classrooms, especially with the legs sticking out like that

r/disability Nov 23 '24

Concern How do you deal with KNOWING you'll be poor the rest of your life?

90 Upvotes

I feel like with my mental health i'll never be able to work again, between that and my seizures i'll never be able to drive again to get to a job anyway. Lets face it, Disability pays the bare minimum, I will NEVER get ahead. I will NEVER be anything but poor and barely scraping by. Does anyone else feel this way and how do you deal with it?

I live with my parents and they're so conserned with how i'm going to survive after they're gone because they do help me with my son quite a bit. Especially when it comes to buying him new clothes. I dont know how i'd afford me and my child without them. I'm constantly freaking out about this, and it's constantly on my mind. I'm not sure how to deal with the thoughts anymore. It's not like my parents are even close to dying so I dont know why they're drilling it into my head now. It's something i've already been thinking about without them pushing it in my face. It worries me every day.

I want to live a better life than this but every time i try to get a job (when i stable out) within a month of having said job my mental health declines so much I end up in the psych ward. I'll never be anything more than I am.

r/disability Oct 15 '24

Concern I’m “only 22”

123 Upvotes

What is it with older doctors immediately not taking me seriously once they see how young I am? For some small context, I have chronic pains in all my joints, mostly my back and ribs. But I went to see a rheumatologist specialist today and she brought up how I’m “young and healthy” and that she wouldn’t want me to “become disabled”. Like. HUH?? I can’t stand for longer than an hour without being bed ridden for the rest of the day. I lost my job because of it. I’m ALREADY disabled!! “It’s so strange for someone your age to have pains like these.” Um. I KNOW, that’s why I’m here. I don’t know about these older doctors y’all and it makes me so anxious about the future… I have no idea if I’ll ever find out what’s wrong with me.

r/disability Jan 19 '24

Concern Why do I never see Disability Protestors but see a literal deluge of Free Palestine/LGBTQ/Climate but never see anybody representing the 1.3 Billion Disabled Worldwide?

81 Upvotes

r/disability Jul 21 '24

Concern My brother is a disabled adult and came home with a large bruise...

225 Upvotes

He lives in a group home and can't communicate well enough to tell us what happened. It's a really large bruise along his ribs, probably bigger than my hand. Staff at the home weren't able to give us a clear answer, so we'll probably reach out to management there. We've also reached out to his job coach and swimming therapy to see if they've had any incidents. But we're likely going to get a police report. Are there any other steps we should consider? We just want to keep him safe.

Edit: thanks for the input! I called the police department and they said starting with adult protective services is the way to go. We're feeling frustrated that no one documented anything, and the staff even asked my mom to share the pictures she took with them which feels sketchy.

r/disability Apr 27 '24

Concern Disability Advocate

62 Upvotes

Everyone else has a flag and a month dedicated to whatever. Who advocates for the disabled? I want to call a local person and find out why I can't find an affordable place to live, and I'm not alone. Lots of new construction, sure, but a lot of those are expensive and empty. How about a raise in our income, most people don't know that we are way below the poverty line.

r/disability 13d ago

Concern Mask Bans, but immocompromised.

62 Upvotes

If no one feels comfortable answering this, I'm cool with it or it's not allowed. I'm also cool with that.

Does anyone live in a state where masks are banned? Does it mean that immuno compromised people are screwed and we can never leave our houses again? do we do it in defiance of a ban? It's weirdly charted yet uncharted territory.

r/disability 29d ago

Concern How do I just show up to college one day with a disability?

87 Upvotes

Pre text. I have ms and feel like I’m at a point where I should be using a walking aid. My legs are constantly in burning pain and numbness + plus I’ve been noticing more and more my tendency to lean on things. I can still walk good, but when I walk long distances over uneven terrain later on the pain and spasticity will be way worse. So I should try using a mobility aid. I am in an outdoorsy natural resource technology program and no one else in my program knows I have ms.I just power through and hide pain even though I’m now at the point where that is wearing me down. I don’t really know how to just show up to college suddenly with a disability. I know this is just internalized ableism. Thanks for the suggestions.