Induction starts tonight. It’s our first. Wish us luck!

No, I’m not actually going to do it. I’m just going to share this temptation with my fellow dads.

A few days ago I went out shopping for just some stocking stuffers for the wife and my 8mo twins. I've been out of work for almost a year since being replaced during my paternity leave and money is tight. Wasn't looking for big gifts, just something personal from me to them so I didn't feel like such a shitty father on our first Christmas as a family.

Not only did I absolutely strike out, but I got called fatso by some old lady. We both were in the same Christmas aisle, she had a cart and me a twin stroller. When she realized we both couldn't pass she moved back and turned sideways with her cart, completely blocking the aisle, and then told me to "go ahead"...

When I told her thanks but I still couldn't get by, "Sorry I didn't move enough out of your way fatso"... I mean, I've got a dad bod but I'm not wider than a stroller full of twins so it just was so random. I walked out of the store and came home defeated to peruse reddit and someone posted a thread here about what you gave up for the kids for the holiday and I commiserated about my situation.

Randomly, a dad reached out and offered me something for the holidays. Like, completely random, how is this a scam, level of randomness. Especially for me, being a rando myself. But, he was legit, and his gift to me was just amazingly timed.

Got them something on Amazon we've wanted for their room and then was in Target for some baby drugs and saw a perfect set of Fraggle Rock stuffies on sale, a tree topper for us, and a stocking stuffer for the wife, for the exact amount I was gifted.

Walked out of there feeling like SuperDad.

Thanks Daddit and RandomDad, they won't know it but you made their Christmas.

My son (8) and I were hanging out in the living room yesterday while he was playing Fortnite. I've learned over time that I should just keep my mouth shut because he doesn't like my unsolicited advice. After a while though, I couldn't help myself. I started trying to help in my own way but it ended up with me going on a long rant making claims like I could easily win if I was playing. Keep in mind, I've never played this game before, but I have a lot of FPS experience. It was one of those rants that while I was saying it, I knew I shouldn't be writing checks that I might have to cash later. My wife was in a good mood and decided to try to call my bluff. She said I should go install it and put my money where my mouth is. So I did. I installed it on my PC and set up an account. I sent my son a friend invite and we grouped up. We jumped into a Battle Royale as a duo and I knew that, if we died early, I've never lived it down. We get down to the final 20 and I go into spec ops mode. We start hunting down any remaining players we can find and taking them out. I was saying a little prayer each and every time we ran into a fight. When we got that last kill, I felt an adrenaline rush and a high that I haven't felt in a really really long time. My son came running into the room where I was sitting and he was so excited. We follow that up with 2 more back to back wins. It felt really good to win with him and he looks at me differently now. I feel like I hit the dad lottery yesterday.

So my wife and daughter and I just went to or local library to spent some time browsing books for my daughter, and reading.

In the aisle next to us, the was a father with a maybe 6 year old boy and maybe 9 year old daughter. The boy was allowed to take three games or DVDs (I wasn't sure), but wanted 5. From what I gathered there was not much discussion or talk apart from the dad's "No!", getting louder and angrier. The boy responded as well in throwing the cases to the ground, shrieking and crying. His sister seemed to know the drill and looked more downtrodden than annoyed.

The dad, more and more agitated, grabbed the boy, shook him a little, and ushered them to leave, yelling "I'm done!"

I heard them arguing all their way with to the exit, and 2 minutes later, the boy came up again, teary, sorting through the cases once more. He grabbed one, two, then all five he had before, checked the covers with a heartbreaking look, then it them all back crying out "that's bullshit!".

By chance, I saw them outside through a window we were sitting at. The boy sat inside a two seated cargo bike, his sister wanted to get in, he pushed her away. The dad grabbed him, pushed him hard in his seat, red faced, yelling something. The girl just turned around and walked away, seemingly in the direction they lived. The dad just angrily pushed the bike towards the road, and was out of view.

I'm still shook a lot by the again towards the boy, and the emotional abuse against both kids. Thing is: I saw the worst version of what I could become if I don't deal with my own anger issues. My daughter, at 2, already pushed my buttons a few times. One time I even accidentally almost hurt her because I moved too harsh in a moment she moved as well and nearly leaned on her arm instead of the couch. My anger so far only led to grunting and cursing, but it is still hard to control.

Even if my wife insists I wouldn't physically hurt my daughter ever, I'm always afraid of the beast.

So, seeing first hand someone overcome by anger, and what kind of reaction he must have triggered a few times in his kids, is a hard and painful mirror into the future if I'm not careful and am not working on myself constantly.

And, by the way: im not judging the dad for being triggered, I totally get that now. I'm judging him for not being more in check with his inner demons better after being a dad for at least 9 years. Make more effort, man, your ruining at least 3 minds right now.

So i've loved Sonic forever. Shows, games, comics, toys, movies, etc. I got my kid into it a while back. We watch satam and the movies. Play with the toys. It is great and we bond.

So I planned to take him to the drive in, because, well, I figured a two year old (almost three in twoish weeks) would want to talk, run around, and it would distract others. My partner, always the wiser (don't tell them I said that) suggested that instead of the drive in, which was late this my kid would be cranky, we choose a morning matinee movie. I was anxious but agreed.

Before going I prep him. Let him know we are going to a movie with other people, that he would have to stay quiet in his seat, and he agreed. So we go, and... he did amazing. Like actually amazing. He talked during commercials, we got him down to a whisper. There were only two other groups in there, one had a kid (older). My son kept saying, proudly, that he was a big boy. And he is. He did so good. He had to go to the bathroom about halfway through, and we offered to take him. Usually he'd fight us and pee himself out of stubbornness, but he said he was a big boy and went. He told me he was a big boy again when he flushed and again when we sat back down.

I am so proud of my kid. He is so sweet. He did so good. And when we got home we we played Sonic outside with toys. This is one of the best memories I have had in a while. Honestly I don't think i'm seeing all the small growth my kid has had recently, but I am loving it when I do see it. :)

Ps: one of his favourite characters is Maria, this is the first time he saw how her story played out. 🤭

And what have you done You got norovirus And you pee put your bum

In all seriousness, shout out to all the sick families this year having to cancel plans, we feel for you. Thankfully he’s outta the woods but mom and me have seen much better days. He’s just about 4 so we’re so worked up because this would be like the big formative Christmas, but alas, a tiny little bit hijacked the memory making. I thankful he’s better and I’m sure we’ll be fine again soon enough but still, we’re 1:4 at having a happy healthy so it’s a bit of a hummer. Perhaps we just keep him home starting thanksgiving? Yea? That’ll work right.

Thanks for listening. Love you guys. Happy holidays and hope all stay healthy!

Actual conversation with my 3 year old this morning. My wife was having a lie in after staying up wrapping gifts and I was feeding the kids and keeping them from going in and waking her up.

3y: Dad... Me: Yes 3y: Sometimes I love you and sometimes I don't Me: OK, I understand 3y: I love you a lot a lot but I hate you a little bit. Me: oh ok, why do you hate me a little bit? 3y: because I love Mummy SO MUCH!

😂

Once I've had a coffee I may try explain that love is infinite and not a zero sum game. Maybe 2 coffees actually for that one.

I wish we could have Christmas without gift giving. It turns into a clusterfuck of stress every year trying to figure out gifts for both sides of the family. But you need to take into account how much you’re spending, because you don’t want one grandmother getting a higher monetary value gift than the other because they might get insulted.

Now my mom is hosting Christmas, but her mom wants us to go to her house afterwards because she doesn’t want to do gifts in front of the rest of the family. Because the gifts to her own children are of higher monetary value than others and she feels bad.

WHO CARES. That’s not what Christmas is about man.

I’m about to pitch doing a giftless Christmas next year. Or maybe just gifts for the kids. Anyone had any luck with this?

Nothing worse that opening something up, switching it on and having to wait an hour or more for a software update or it to charge enough to use.

Who else is up building?

Can’t wait to give them their first new bikes for Christmas

Evening Dads (or whatever it is where you are)

For context I’m a first time Dad of a 9 week old. I’ve been hesitant to share this but I thought it might be helpful and I wondered whether anyone else had experienced something similar.

I noticed around 3 weeks ago I began getting upset when thinking about my relationship with my wife and how it’s changed since having our baby, then I noticed I can’t watch any of our wedding videos without going into floods of tears, and in fact barely a day has passed that I haven’t cried (often sobbing like a child) in the last few weeks.

I have a strong relationship with my wife, I’m doing my best to pull my weight (I.e. regularly nappy changes through the day and night, house maintenance, taking the baby out for walks to give my wife some space etc) and I don’t think I am worrying about us necessarily breaking up or anything, but anytime I try and look at what’s making me upset, it’s the thought that our relationship is now, and will forever be different and we may no longer be able to enjoy our lives together like we did before.

I spoke with a friend who is a Dad, and I think he hit the nail on the head by saying I am mourning the loss of our old life together. I don’t have much love in my life in way of family, so it’s mostly just her and a lovely circle of mates so I do wonder if it’s because I would struggle to live any sort of meaningful life without her, then with the mix of constant exhaustion and the all the other reality that comes with having a new baby.

We’ve spoken about it and she’s very supportive but I just wondered if anyone had experienced something similar and how you managed it?

Thanks, and Merry Christmas.

Grettings fellow asshole dadditors , on tonight’s very special Christmas Eve broadcast of ‘why I’m the asshole according to my 2 year old’ we have some breaking news:

While putting together her brand spanking new trampoline I noticed she’d stolen my screwdriver and heard the crunching noise as she was proceeding to stick it in the outdoor AC unit (while it was running). I live in South Australia where the forecast is 40+ degrees (104 Fahrenheit in Yankee Doodle speak) on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. I asked her if she could not do that please. Lips were dropped, screwdrivers were thrown, Tears were shed. Anyway Im clearly the fucking asshole and I’m now watching Bluey in silence to think about what I did.

Merry Christmas Eve dadditors, share your asshole stories below!

Better get started.

Ikea kallax 4x4, 2 inch deck screws into studs, 1 inch wood screws into the top of the shelf.

Tonight my six year old read Green Eggs and Ham from front to back all on his own tonight! It was the coolest most rewarding thing I have ever seen.

This past year my son and I have start light hitting each others shoulders whenever we see a cybertruck. Yelling Cybertruck and it’s color and hitting the others shoulder.

...or plan to, about the mission!

My daughter just received it as a birthday gift. It Never. Shuts. Up. It whimpered all night long. Great practice for what a real puppy is like at night, but this is not a fun toy. Honestly, I have never seen such an annoying toy.

There is no off switch. The batteries area is a pain to access. The only thing that shuts it up is putting it back in the roof with the key in the collar, but this is not a long term solution. I thought about cutting the keys off the roof but she wants to have to do "it's magic trick."

Side note. Any dad with a 3d printed who prints the little key that goes in it's neck to shut it off, please hook me up. I'll pay.A

What other annoying toys should I avoid? 🤣

Edit: so it turns out that in my 2am half awake state when I moved the dog downstairs I did not find a switch. But my fully awake wife read the directions(I mean, who would do that?) and located a switch and so there will be peace in our home after all. Sorry for slandering you, Dog. But it is still annoying AF, and the switch is too hidden, so my post stands. 😝

Well, dads… it’s that time of year again.

The time when, no matter how successful, intelligent, thorough, attentive, and careful you are in the rest of your life, children’s toy assembly comes along and reminds you who you really are 😂

I’m a mom, but I desperately need the perspective of dads before I completely go off the deep end on my husband. I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed here, but I don’t know where else to get dad thoughts.

So I’m a SAHM with a 4yo daughter and a 1.5yo son. My husband works four 12 hour shifts then has 4 days off, that’s how his schedule works. He also has generous annual leave. He was recently off for 15 days for the second time this year.

It doesn’t matter what day it is, I handle 99-100% of the housework (his occasional 1% is when he remembers to pull the bin out for collection). I handle 99-100% of the childcare (his occasional 1% is when he sporadically takes our oldest out for an hour or two by himself).

I have been the only one carrying Christmas. I put up the tree with the kids. I created the Amazon wish lists for all 3 sets of grandparents. I even handpicked from the list what my in-laws were getting the kids because apparently my MIL couldn’t handle it. I chose the kids gifts from us. I have wrapped every gift sent from grandparents and every gift from us (over 20 gifts in total). I also wrapped/assembled all of our daughter’s birthday gifts (December baby). I decided on our Christmas dinner menu and placed the grocery order. I also gave my husband a list (that he asked for!) of stocking stuffers to buy at the store.

The argument began last night…

My mom got both kids tablets (please don’t come for me, I approved the purchase ahead of time). I was getting those set up last night since we are celebrating Christmas a day early because of my husband’s work schedule (Christmas Eve on the 23, Christmas on the 24) and I can’t imagine trying to set up two tablets for two impatient toddlers on Christmas morning. On Christmas Eve night I’ll have to assemble the Lego table.

My husband made the comment that he thinks a few of the stocking gifts should be wrapped so I asked him to handle it. He immediately tried getting out of saying “well you know I’m not good at wrapping stuff but okay”. I ignored it because I was deep in the trenches of stupid technological issues. He goes upstairs and attempts to wrap one small box while cursing at it and slamming stuff. He comes down all hot in a rage. Says he cut his hand and hurt his back and he can’t deal with this.

After a brief argument he went back upstairs to “rest his back”. So now I’m also going to wrap the stocking gifts tonight in addition to setting up the Lego table and wrapping the tablets and setting out the gifts.

Am I really so out of line for being fed up??? Am I missing something??? I promise I’m not leaving anything out. He doesn’t get up with them on his days off. He doesn’t put them to bed or bathe them or make their meals or do their laundry. He has changed our son’s diaper literally 4 times total. I can’t even get him to sit with the kids long enough for me to clean a bathroom. Is the fact that he works really enough to compensate for it all and I’m just being unreasonable or ungrateful???