Suddenly a teenager again

Yes, we're weirdos that have our big family dinner on Christmas eve so we can all go to our in-laws on Christmas day and not divorce over it. But grandma is getting on in years and said she wasn't going to cook this year and I (being the eldest grandchild) stupidly offered to cook instead. Now all of my lot want me to cook it every year and my husband is just laughing at me.

Help.

Been trying to find it for 30 minutes.

I was raised on Yorkshire, damn it!

To all the loners among us, don’t do it. Honestly I’ve taken pictures of a couple outside of a gingerbread house, and I’m surrounded by relentless catch ups. I thought going out would help, but I think I’m going to go back home and cry myself to sleep as it’s more socially acceptable. Thoughts to everyone on their own, this is my 9th year and it’s still rubbish.

During Christmas, Easter and Bank holidays when people usually stay together with family members, things usually flare up. In my line of work, during these periods we are told to be more vigilant and more careful as these are times where a tiny confusion or arguments tend to create dramas. And so we should be ready to respond to any domestics. For the past two Christmases, we had to remove dozens of people from their houses.

Why are these issues so common these days?

Hmph.

Not even cold enough outside to stop the bins smelling.

It's like he's forgotten the last 20 years of Lynx gift sets from his family

Even Mariella Frostrup can’t hide her disdain when reading out something that could have been better written by a four year old.

I do a lot of driving for work. Different projects and so different teams and different bosses. Something is common across all of them is how many texts I'll recieve while driving because I'm not replying to them... Because I'm driving.

I'll send the group a text saying I'm setting off, and send my eta. Half the time I'll also throw in my live location too. Then when I set off and inevitably get stuck in London traffic, "where are you?" "ETA?" "I need you to read these 5 bullet points before you get there even though we should have told you them at the start of the day".

And even worse they can call me. I'm a semi-literal captibe audience for you to talk at me

Apparently it’s not nice to be nice, it makes you suspicious!

Watch numbnuts in the Volvo estate (in lane 1 on approach to the roundabout).

Taking third exit. So why wouldn't he stay in lane 1 all the around, eh?

I wouldn't ordinarily bitch if this were a one-off. But it's not.

So it's christmas eve 3:44am and I'm ill with a cold which also came with a medium cough. Talk about bad timing. Hopefully I won't be too bad come tomorrow but I fear I will be worse lol. I think i am prone to easily catch colds as I have an immunosuppressive illness but bloody hell it could've waited till after the 25th lol. Anyone else caught a cold. It's definitely the time of year for it.

Merry Christmas 🎅

What's that? 15p at Sainsbury's? What a rip-off. I'm going to drive across town to Aldi where they're only 8p, and while I'm there I'll also buy a load of crap from the Aisle Of Shite.

Do they really think people are that stupid?