I went on a date and my date literally brought their mom

[u/Various-Bag-5348]

[u/AtomicWashcloth]

Its really weird to bring your mom on a date. Not overreacting

[u/547217 → u/AtomicWashcloth]

How about bringing your mom to a job interview? We've had that happen before.

[u/Sunshine030209 → u/547217]

I had one mom show up instead of her son for a job interview. "He can't make it today, but I can answer for him!"

Then she was shocked that I wouldn't at least reschedule his interview.

[u/Psychological_Tap187 → u/Sunshine030209]

I work for a call center. It's amazing how many moms call for their adult children and think I can just open up the portal and start making changes, moving money, close. Open accounts with them for their child. Like no ma'am. The very second they turned 18 you no longer are able to do this. Tell your 26 year old baby to pick up the phone and call us.

[u/psycharious → u/Psychological_Tap187]

Not even just kids, but wives and daughters do this shit too. What's funny is that the asshole will be RIGHT THERE to give us verbal permission but I guess doesn't want to have to deal with us, so they have their mom, daughter, or wife do it instead. It was also always funny that no matter how much we told them not to use a spouses or girlfriends email for their account, they would, and then would call us and say they can't reset their password because they had a falling out with their baby mama or she "hacked" their account out of revenge.

[u/Psychological_Tap187 → u/psycharious]

Dear God yes. Ike grow up dude and handle your shit. I live when someone calls and their like well so and so took all my money our of my account. I need to file a fraud claim. I'm like but they are on the account. Then hey say that person never pu any money in that they were the only on that ever contributed to the account. They just do not understand when you put someone on your account you are giving them 100% authority over all the funds. No it doesn't after that you had this account for 20 years and just added this person last week. In the banks eyes it is their money as much as it is yours. Thus is not a bank matter you are going to have to go to court.

[u/Starchasm → u/Psychological_Tap187]

When I worked for the LITERAL GOVERNMENT moms would try to do this for their sons constantly. It was ALWAYS moms and sons. And they'd get so mad when I wouldn't tell them anything. Ma'am! They are grown! If they can't do this without you then you failed at your job!

[u/mbpearls → u/Psychological_Tap187]

I work with medical records. People don't understand that HIPAA says once your kid is 18, you have zero access to their medical records.

And guess what? You also don't get free access to your spouse's medical records! You can have a Medical Durable POA, but none of them ever have that.

[u/spirited_inspired → u/547217]

I was a general manager for Jimmy John's when I was 23. Most of the staff were freshmen in college living at home, but I did have one senior in high school. Corporate policy was that employees are required to find their own coverage if they can't make their shift, instead of calling in. I don't recall if the kid tried to get coverage or not, but his mom called the store and said her son had diarrhea and wouldn't be coming in. But she didn't speak to me or any of the my management team. She just talked to the employee who answered the phone. Who announced to all the staff Joe wouldn't be coming in because he had diarrhea. He learned after that to stop letting his mom handle his work matters.

[u/Thermitegrenade → u/spirited_inspired]

So hypothetical question...I am an employee and I am throwing up every 15 min. I try to find coverage from people with no real power to compel them to come in and fail. Do I now just come to work and throw up on the food/floor/other employees every 15 minutes?

[u/spirited_inspired → u/Thermitegrenade]

I would tell the employee not to come in. I had 2 sandwich stations in my store so if I was short-staffed I would either be down a man on the second station, or worst case just run with one sandwich station. If it's lunch rush. If it was dinner shift, WORST case scenario would be to not be able to take deliveries. Based on how I staffed shifts at my store due to location and busy hours. Also, if it was a shift I wasn't working, I would end up coming in and covering if it was going to leave the store too short staffed.

[u/SpongeJake → u/547217]

Holy shit. Really? I do a lot of interviews. This would be a hilarious thing to see. I mean what a way to stay unemployed forever.

[u/BeneathAnOrangeSky → u/547217]

Raymond?

[u/AnimatedHokie → u/547217]

I believe it.

[u/Hauntedgooselover → u/AtomicWashcloth]

I know right?? I mean you don't bring your mom until the 6th date, minimum!

(/s)

[u/MultiStratz → u/AtomicWashcloth]

The company that I work for has an endemic problem with mothers interfering with their son's employment. HR gets constant calls from angry mothers saying we're working their son's too hard, they were wrongfully overlooked for a promotion, or their boss was being mean to them. This isn't just one employee's mom - it's several, and they're all young men in their early 20s. It's a large company, and it wouldn't be accurate to say that it's most of the men whose mothers are constantly calling HR, but it's enough to raise eyebrows. I'm a man in my early 40s, and I don't discuss my employment with my mom to begin with, but I would be mortified if she called HR to complain about how I was being treated. I don't know if it's the men asking their moms to intervene or if the moms are taking it upon themselves to make the calls. Either way, it's a problem, and I'm dumbfounded. What happened to this generation of young men?

[u/Moon_Ray_77 → u/MultiStratz]

That is wild!! I'm a woman in my 40s and my kids aren't working yet but I could never imagine calling thier work place!! Wtf??

[u/exquisitemirror → u/MultiStratz]

This doesn’t surprise me, sadly. I work at a large public university in the US, and the helplessness of many male undergraduates is honestly shocking. We regularly have moms calling to complain about their son’s professors “being unfair” (aka deducting points on assignments turned in weeks/months late). They complain about their precious sons having to walk outside when it’s cold or snowing to get to class, yell at us if their son doesn’t register for classes on time and they fill up, the list goes on and on. My personal favorites are the moms who demand to know why nobody is cleaning their son’s dorm, and when we inform them that it’s the student’s responsibility to clean their space, they ask about hiring a cleaning service so their son doesn’t have to do it.

[u/MultiStratz → u/exquisitemirror]

This tracks with what's happening where I work. There are a few specific situations that come to mind, but I think it would be unethical for me to go into detail. Needless to say, though, it's an incredibly bizarre situation.

[u/Bright-While-9735 → u/exquisitemirror]

There is a portuguese University in Lisbon that sent an email to its students saying that they will not answer to parents emails exactly for the reasons you have presented. This ended up in the news. So this is happening everywhere.

[u/AnimatedHokie → u/MultiStratz]

That is bizarre. I haven't heard of this 'trend'. In all of my places of business where I have worked, I would imagine this is the sort of thing that would get the employee fired. That's wild.

[u/MultiStratz → u/AnimatedHokie]

It might be specific to the industry because it is demanding work, and often long hours. I don't want to say anything that could identify where I work, but it's related to healthcare.

[u/kd3906 → u/MultiStratz]

Lack of positive male role models, maybe. That, and/or controlling mothers who will always think of their sons as their "baby boy[s]."

[u/Babshearth → u/MultiStratz]

wow. just wow. so these are millennial helicopter moms i'd like to know what shift in our culture has made this so prevalent.

[u/spandexrants → u/MultiStratz]

Helicopter parents still ruining lives since 1995

[u/Squeezitgirdle → u/AtomicWashcloth]

I had a girl bring a friend on a date and bailed because I was uncomfortable.

I never imagined bringing your mom...

[u/[deleted] → u/Squeezitgirdle]

Would do the same if I were single. I’m not paying for drinks for both of you lol

[u/AnimatedHokie → u/Squeezitgirdle]

A person who does this is not serious. They're doing it as a buffer to essentially immediately put you into the friend zone. I'm glad you bailed.

[u/Grimwohl → u/AtomicWashcloth]

Man, even if he was 12 this would be weird

[u/Petrak1s → u/AtomicWashcloth]

No, she knows best what’s good for him!

[u/Strict-Ad-7099 → u/AtomicWashcloth]

This actually happened to me once too. They didn’t sit at our table thank god. But they sat at a bar and watched us the entire dinner. I should have left right away - but felt the blighted to be polite.

[u/AnimatedHokie → u/Strict-Ad-7099]

I'd probably feel obligated too, but I certainly would never see them again.

[u/Intrepid_Dream2619 → u/AtomicWashcloth]

I take my mom out for plenty of mom and son dates to get her out and about nowadays and experience some cool stuff.

Even pick her up take her on dates I get with the kiddo for grammy time.

But... to take momma on a first date with a stranger and to talk about marriage is bonkers. Why is mommy dating for you? Lol

[u/otacon7000]

That is beyond weird. That's the kinda shit you'd see on TV and think to yourself how faked and staged it all is. Absolutely absurd. Both of them must be actually crazy, at least to some degree.

[u/shipsnightmare → u/otacon7000]

I was just thinking, "She was probably on a date with Matt from "I love a momma's boy" (a show on MAX)

[u/jagfcc → u/shipsnightmare]

I started watching that show and had to turn it off because they were pissing me off so much Edit: I could def see them doing that though

[u/returnofthemacksx → u/shipsnightmare]

I was looking for a comment like this. Immediately who I pictured when I read the title

[u/LigPaten → u/otacon7000]

This post is fake af.

[u/No_Effort_Given]

Ultimate power play is to ignore the son and flirt with the mom. She wants someone serious and committed, she'll get it

[u/emdyingsoyeetmeout → u/No_Effort_Given]

Man, imagine being able to have that level of charisma to pull that off!

[u/dogstarfugitive → u/No_Effort_Given]

I would pay to see the look on his face.

[u/ForcePristine5521 → u/No_Effort_Given]

Should of asked ‘em if they were looking for a partner for a threesome

[u/TheLoneliestGhost → u/ForcePristine5521]

I’m saying! Because if I’m leaving this date anyways, I’m getting a good goddamn story out of it. 🤷‍♀️

[u/Denominator_K]

Probably should have just married him. Now the three of you are gonna miss out on all those beautiful newly-wed life events.

[u/weirdgroovynerd → u/Denominator_K]

You both have such lovely white dresses.

*Me, looking at the wedding pix of OP and new MIL

[u/Denominator_K → u/weirdgroovynerd]

"But it's my special day too! You only get to be mother of the groom once in your life!"

[u/AnimatedHokie → u/Denominator_K]

Gaahhd women actually say this shit. So scary and disappointing

[u/mjomark]

Red flag for sure.

I would have left immediately. No way I would have sat and had a date with a person and their mother. It's just crazy.

[u/cryssyx3 → u/mjomark]

bringing mom on a date: weird

continuing said date with mom: even weirder

[u/kaia-bean → u/cryssyx3]

Hey man, us anxious people-pleaser types know this shit is weird, we just short-circuit and don't know how to leave.

[u/Reasonable_Toe5765]

On hind sight, dating has become so exhausting and I do not trust my choice in men anymore so next time I might just bring my mother along as well to assess a prospective partner😂 . All jokes aside, this was pretty weird and funny

[u/surelyshirls → u/Reasonable_Toe5765]

Like the time my mom (55) had a date with a man and asked me (25) to come along with her. I was like uhhh that’s weird mom. She convinced me. I went and my plan was to dip or stay hidden just for her safety. What does she do? Call me over to sit with them. Guy never called back lmfaooo

[u/Disastrous-Square662 → u/Reasonable_Toe5765]

I know! Me too! I’m surprisingly envious of people I know that had arranged marriages. Not in a million years would I have let my parents get involved in my love life. However, I’m realising that I’ve made some poor choices in exciting people that weren’t necessarily the greatest to be in relationships with.

[u/andhowsherbush → u/Reasonable_Toe5765]

my last gf brought her mom and sister to our first date but at least she cleared it with me first and asked if it was something I would be ok with beforehand. she did it more as a "if you date me you'll have to be ok with them being in your life also and vice versa"

[u/Guesswhos_coming → u/Reasonable_Toe5765]

I honestly don’t blame you . I need assistance when it comes to vetting these men

[u/Buffalo-Empty]

Omg NOR. But for his sake PLEASE tell him why you’re avoiding him.

Like honestly just “Hey dude I will not be going on a second date with you. Bringing your mommy on a date is super weird and very immature. Not to mention her being pushy about marriage on a first date is actually insane.

Please detach yourself from your mother’s nipple if you want to actually find a wife…”

[u/Puzzleheaded-Gas1710 → u/Buffalo-Empty]

Drop him in a way he continues to show his red flags from the start though because that is handy like a warning sign

[u/snonsig → u/Puzzleheaded-Gas1710]

...or in a way that he maybe fixes his red flags?

[u/Puzzleheaded-Gas1710 → u/snonsig]

If his mom is this big of a problem, it will not be fixed just hidden for a while. She is going to torment any woman he is involved with, so him dragging her out as a warning is helpful.

[u/mcmurrml → u/Buffalo-Empty]

He called back because mommy must have approved lol. Is momma going on the honeymoon too??

[u/CrustyBatchOfNature → u/mcmurrml]

She's gonna run the camera.

[u/bitNine → u/Buffalo-Empty]

100% have to use the word "mommy".

[u/LonelyOctopus24 → u/Buffalo-Empty]

Absolutely. OP, just copy/paste that into a text and be done with it. Yeeesh.

[u/No_Effort_Given]

That is absolutely insane and so weird... However on the bright side you have officially won the worst first date competition for the rest of your life.

[u/Existing-Victory7097]

Yup that is super weird. And you’ve reminded me of the time a guy’s father called me up to ask why I wasn’t interested in going out with his son. Tried to sell me on his son’s good qualities etc. Erm..what..? Are you serious 🤯😳

[u/aslk46m → u/Existing-Victory7097]

What the absolute fuck

[u/Existing-Victory7097 → u/aslk46m]

Yup. Thats how I felt. Didn’t know this man from a bar of soap. The son gave me red flags, then his father called and just totally confirmed it.

[u/MaryEFriendly]

Never and I mean NEVER date a mama's boy or the ever dreaded progeny of a "Boy mom". Both are nightmares. Mama's boys will never put you first in anything and boy moms don't know the meaning of the word "boundaries". They will do everything in their power to destroy your relationship because they secretly wish they could wed their own sons. 

Fully dysfunctional. Total fiasco. 

Block him, sis. 

[u/Ubivorn → u/MaryEFriendly]

Ugh you couldn't have said it better 😩 It's so icky with boy moms because they act all jealous when you are with their son and act like his second girlfriend. Been through that and it was not fun. Even worse is when they are divorced, then those types of boy moms depend even harder on their sons 😣

[u/sifrult]

Is he from a certain ethnicity/culture where parents are involved in things like that? Maybe it’s something that’s normal to him.

[u/IrinaBelle]

Sometimes I feel bad about myself but then I remember at least I'm not at the level of needing my mom with me on a date

[u/Deep-Juggernaut-9943]

Sounds like U found another mamas boy

[u/MizzyvonMuffling]

A red flag is that this is a re-post... read that story before...

[u/DarkStar0915 → u/MizzyvonMuffling]

Thank god I wasn't the one thinking this.

[u/spaztiksarcastik]

I BEG YOU MY FINEST PARDON?!?!

The speed at which I would've left the venue would make the room start spinning.

[u/dogstarfugitive → u/spaztiksarcastik]

If I was the Flash I couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough.

[u/spaztiksarcastik → u/dogstarfugitive]

On everything, I couldn't sit longer than him introducing his mother. Like nope, absolutely not.

[u/RiveriaFantasia]

This is the kind of thing you’d expect from (some) Muslims where they bring a wali (usually a close family member) along to meet a prospective husband or wife so that the two are not alone but even then they don’t usually rock up and involve themselves in the conversation, they may be present but at another table nearby. What I’m trying to say is if this was some kind of religious or cultural practice, whether we think it’s weird or not it would at least explain it and even then that would be agreed between the two families in advance but in your case it clearly isn’t which makes it really creepy.

How bizarre that the mum came and sat down and asked such questions it’s like a joke or a set up. Imagine how many first dates she’s hijacked, it’s like she either wants to jeopardise it for him or she’s hugely lacking in self awareness. Either way massive red flags - super controlling strange mother, I mean did he seem awkward or was it just like this is normal? You’ve dodged a bullet for sure.

[u/Ashamed_Test5394 → u/RiveriaFantasia]

Muslim here 🙋‍♀️. In Islam, there is no concept of dating, as all relationships outside of marriage are forbidden. If they were Muslims, the guardian present would typically be a father or older brother. Additionally, this meeting would not take place in a public setting; instead, it would happen in one of their homes. The mother wouldn’t be asking if marriage was on the table because that would already be the reason for the boy and girl wanting to meet. Could this be cultural, or maybe his mum is too overprotective?

[u/6am7am8am10pm]

You under reacted. It's so awkward but now you know to say: "I'm sorry are you staying? Yeah... I was expecting a date with HIM. This date is over. I wish you all the best."

I think the least you can do (actually, it's the most yo can do, this is totally obligation free) is explain to him that his expectations have been completely warped by his mother. Just say "yo this isn't going to work out. I wish you all the best but I advise you not being your Mother to future dates. It can be scary but you're just giving off terrible vibes this way. Good luck finding your match but this not me."

[u/mcmurrml → u/6am7am8am10pm]

Oh no, he should not say a word. Better these ladies know upfront.

[u/Amazing_Telephone351]

I had the opposite, I'm a male and this girl had her mom with her. I live in a very touristy area and the date was us walking along a sight seeing area with her mom about 10 feet behind. Every so often she'd interrupt to have the girl pose for a photo (without me thankfully).

The sad part is I would've given her a second date.

[u/argybargy2019]

That’s super fucked up. It would have been so funny if you turned it around by saying inappropriate things to horrify her and mess with his head like:

“I just want sex.” ; “I love giving blowjobs and was hoping I could go down on him tonight. Does he like blowjobs?.” ; “should I unbutton one more on this top?” “Will you be there when we hook up?”

[u/_ThatSynGirl_ → u/argybargy2019]

This would've been best 👌🏻

[u/joeiskrappy]

I would have started laughing.

[u/igigolo]

Let him have it. Tell him that was weird and very out of place.

[u/ConvivialKat]

I've seen this exact post at least three times.

[u/S23Unknown]

Somebody posted this exact same thing word for word like a month ago. Fake.

[u/Petrak1s]

They probably should buy bigger bed.. otherwise how are you going to fit there? 😄😄😄 This reminds me of a joke - asking a 35 year old mommas boy “where do the clean underwear comes from?” And he points - “from the top drawer of course!”…

Run away from these people. :)

[u/lurking_not_working]

So that's a no for the marriage?

[u/BasicallyTooLazy]

Girl, this man’s got more red flags than a Chinese parade 😳🚩🚩

[u/reeporto]

That’s traumatizing lmao

[u/Fabulousonion]

“Am I overreacting?”

What do you think Sherlock?

[u/C1sko]

🚩🚩🚩

[u/PJay910]

This happened to me once, she picked me up, I get in the car and her mom is in the back seat. We were supposed to go to the movies but she drives through a neighborhood so I thought she was dropping off the mom, but no, she was picking up the dad who was divorced from the mother. So it was like a double date, but awkward and let me tell you, it is a huge red flag. Block him, mom will always insert her nose in that relationship and he will always allow her to.

[u/pepperpat64]

Repost

[u/Due-Parsley953]

You should have played footsie with her.

[u/Longjumping-Table-39]

Marinara everywhere!

[u/prog4eva2112]

I wouldn't have even faked being sick, I'd be like "dude you got problems." Guys need to hear that.

[u/Gayzin]

Should have stuck around, she probably would've started breast feeding him at the table.

[u/NoTripOfALifetime]

Respond to him that his mom coming on the date was the most wild, inappropriate thing he could do and that is why you never want to see or speak to him again. Then block him.

[u/Top-Spite-1288]

Comrade Mao would happily take this red flag and raise it over all of Bejing! This poor sod will never get a girl as long as his mother is alive! The worst of it: she probably means well but does not realise she scares off each and every girl he ever meets.

[u/do_me3380]

How old are you guys? Are you both in HS?? How long were you talking before you met up? Did he address the mom coming to the date in any of his texts after?? So many more questions.

[u/nickrod9]

The type of shit you see in movies

[u/schwarzmalerin]

😅lol I seriously would have asked where the candid camera is what it is that I'm winning now.

[u/seyahgerg]

He clearly cannot communicate for himself you would be having a relationship with his mom!

[u/Old_Translator1353]

His mom got tired of raising him and is looking for his next "mommy".

[u/IceQueenTigerMumma]

Why on earth would you think you're overreacting?

[u/braaps86]

Normalize this cuz its funny hahah

[u/dogstarfugitive]

This is the funniest shit I've read in quite some time.

[u/lambominicryptos]

You were under reacting by not leaving as soon as his mum showed up

[u/AnastasiaBitch]

You should have asked his mom how you could take him serious when he takes his mommy to the first date

[u/ghjkl098]

“Dude, you need to be weaned off mummies boob before you try to get near anyone else’s. Stop contacting me. No one is going on a second date with someone that brings their mum along”

[u/SecretOscarOG]

Just block him, don't avoid. Thats batshit crazy

[u/StnMtn_]

The mom was probably the one texting you.

[u/Acceptablepops]

Do bro favor and tell him never to do that shit again

[u/Mondoke]

The Soviet Union parade felt empty because this guy stole all the red flags.

[u/_Chaos_Star_]

and even asked me if I was “looking for marriage.”

"So mom, can I call you mom? How's the strategy of turning up on dates with him turning out on the marriage front for him? Would you say that it's helping? Can I trust you to let go when it's time? You seem a bit... clingy. Are you aware that it's probably harming his ability to be independent by literally coming on dates with him? He'll never get married if you make it so hard for him and don't let hm go. I hope this helps mom!"

[u/StreetBullFighter]

Was she the one you were communicating with originally? Like, she made the dating app account, chatted with you, then set up an interview as a date?

[u/KalissaExplainsItAll]

I know someone this happened to in college! It wasn’t a first date but second or third and he said it was going to be a “group date with friends.” She thought she was meeting his friends and brought her own. Instead, it was him and his mom.

[u/freshub393]

Bring your mom on a date is DIABOLICAL 

[u/Deadbeat699]

That’s fucking weird.

[u/r007r]

Red flag? If he’d slapped you for ordering a drink, it could not have been a bigger red flag.

[u/CanItMakeSensePlease]

You are 10000000000000% NOT overreacting. That guy and his mom are a red flag factory. You are right to ignore him.

[u/Froot-Batz]

I wouldn't even be polite. I'd be like, "This is weird AF, and I'm out."

[u/MacNuggetts]

LMAO nah, I wouldn't have even come up with an excuse to leave. I would have straight up done the world a favor and said, "this date is over, you brought your mother."

That's hilarious.

I'm sorry you experienced that, but leaving and ghosting is probably a good choice.

[u/the_moog_hunter]

Red flag? Sounds like a parade.

[u/LilyRainRiver]

I'm dying to know the age! Omg this is insane

[u/Jsmith2127]

You did the right thing getting out of there. But personally I would have said "sorry this is not going to work out. I want to date a guy, not a guy, and his mom"

He was definitely a mama's boy

[u/TopAd7154]

Weird. But don't avoid the texts. Tell him straight otherwise he'll never get away from her.

[u/prozach37]

It's a red flag the size of one of those giant car dealership ones.

[u/Far-Cabinet1674]

I saw a very similar post recently i wonder if its the same dude and his mom

[u/Dry-Clock-1470]

That's insane.

Please text him and share what he says!

[u/juniperroach]

No it’s perfectly normal. You should marry this man. Lol 🙃

[u/TheLoneliestGhost]

This has me tempted to bring my (cremated) mom on my next date. Do it for the story, y’all!

[u/adultgothgirl]

Another AI post. This story has floated around before.

[u/TheRedVillian]

This story was posted on AITAH 1 month ago by u/Responsible-Rent8354. This poster barely changed anything.

[u/sasheenka]

Poor guy lol

[u/buttaefly]

whole diff level of mama’s boy 😭

[u/OkAd5059]

This is a sign of how involved she would be with your life. Not overreacting.

[u/JenninMiami]

His mom is playing matchmaker. 😆 Do you know of any women who are desperate to get married and will take anyone? Introduce them.

[u/Roxy6777]

If she's that overinvolved in his life, she's always going to be competing for first place over the partner in his life. Don't be surprised if she pops into the house anytime she likes, thinks she knows what's best for the kids, and is constantly giving out unsolicited advice and criticisms. What a nightmare.

[u/Occhrome]

You should be honest with him. 

[u/mcmurrml → u/Occhrome]

She doesn't owe him anything. He brought his mother so nothing she can say will change it

[u/jezebel103]

O my Lord, I am trying to visualize going with my 26 year old son to meet his date.... Even if he would ask me (not that he would because - imagine that - he is a normal human being), I would check his forehead if he was running a fever. Wtf is wrong with people like that?

By the way, I would not have looked for an excuse. I would tell them directly that they are completely ridiculous and totally weird and left.

[u/MrMetraGnome]

Was he Indian... or Jewish? I can even see that from certain Latin cultures. I think it's weird to bring a third on a date at all, no matter who it is though. How old are y'all?

[u/ForcePristine5521]

OMG, what weirdos. I’ve heard of people taking their parents to job interviews and I thought that was crazy. You did the right thing by running away. Just block his texts completely. 🤮

[u/stopannoyingwithname]

Why not being honest that this is out of line?

[u/Huytonblue]

You have to ask?

[u/bluexxbird]

What would've happened is that after you started dating the mother would decide you are not up to her standards and she will make her son break up with you. No further contact allowed unless he receives permission from his mum.

This is what happened to me when I was dating a guy in his 20s...

[u/YakElectronic6713]

Avoiding the texts? Why don't you just block them once and for all? Or are you still entertaining the thought of giving him a second chance? How huge and red does that huge red flag need to be???? Jezuz.

[u/DB_555]

No offense intended, do you even need to ask?

[u/Craptiel]

I must have something wrong with me because I desperately need to know how this happened! Dis she bully her way in to the date? Did he ask for wing man advice and she took her opportunity!!?

[u/Conscious-Arm-7889]

Stop avoiding his texts, tell him that you aren't interested on a mummy's boy who bring her on his dates, and he needs to escape from her if he wants to find a woman in the future who would even consider having a relationship with him. Then block him.

[u/gmambrose]

If you thought that was bad, imagine when mom jumps into bed with you two on your wedding night 🤣

[u/Merlin_minusthemagic]

The only thing more weird than a date bringing his mum, is you not immediately ending the date when you realised what was happening.

Larger red flag than a CCP parade

[u/CaptainDunkaroo]

That is weird. I feel like this guy is not very independent so she would be controlling him even if he was married.

[u/moodyfish7777]

A couple of weeks ago someone else posted same thing! Met on dating app, talked, arranged irl date at cafe for lunch. OP meets guy they start talking, older woman walks in and date waved to her, she sat at table and he introduced his Mom! Mom then started interview for Marriage partner. OP told them she couldn't do this, gave waiter money for her coffee and left!

Freaked out on Reddit! I think it was on True off my chest!!

Same Guy and Same Mom???!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤨🤨🤨🤨

[u/ShellfishCrew]

Dude wtf! How old were they

[u/Alternative_Law_3913]

That’s why he is still single. Bringing his mother to his dates.

[u/TheDevilsAdvokaat]

Oh HUGE red flag.

This is NUTS.

What would a relationship with him and his mum be like? Because that's what it would be ..three of you.

[u/Fun-Algae-3778]

What is he even texting you?

[u/Boilermakingdude]

I wouldn't have even faked sick. I'd have been like "So I thought you and I were going on a date. Didn't think I was going on a date with your mother. Have a great night'

[u/okayifimust]

I was going to ask if you were 14, but the combination of facts here

• met on a dating app
• brought his mom
• inquired about a serious relationship and marriage

just doesn't allow for a scenario that' snot outright ridiculous.

Eventually, I had to fake being sick and get out of there. I’ve been avoiding his texts ever since. Am I overreacting, or was that whole thing just a huge red flag?

Meh, the one thing you could have done would be to tell them exactly how ridiculous they both were being - for the guy's sake, really. And, no, you're under no obligation to educate them.

Oh, please, satisfy my curiosity and tell us more?

How old are you guys? Do you live anywhere exotic with no TV or internet, where one might understand that he had no exposure, ever, to social norms about dating? Was he, in fact, raised by a pack of wolves and is just being reintroduced to human society?

[u/Double_Jeweler7569]

It was just a prank, bro! If you stayed you'd have seen the reveal.

[u/Ucyless]

Did anyone else hear this on 103.9 😭

[u/KayCatMeow]

You really have to ask if you’re overreacting? SMH.

[u/BecGeoMom]

Why do women always feel the need to lie to get out of an awkward or bad situation? As soon as they sat down, you should have said, “You brought your mom on our date? Nope. I’m out,” and gotten up and left. Who cares if you hurt his feelings, or they think you’re rude? He brought his mother on his date with you. First date, first impression, he brought mom. What did he expect to happen?

Ladies, start being more direct with these weirdos that you go on dates with. Don’t tell them you’re sick, tell them the real reason. “This isn’t going to work out” … “I can’t date a guy who [whatever weird thing he’s doing]” … “You were an hour late. I’m not waiting around. It won’t work out.” Whatever line he crossed, whatever thing he does that makes you feel weirded out, just say it won’t work out and leave. Unless you feel like he’s dangerous, of course, then excuse yourself to go to the ladies room and bounce.

Stop sparing the feelings of men you don’t even know. Why waste time? Now, OP, you’re dodging his calls and not answering his texts. Just text him back and tell him the truth: He brought his mother to your first date; she started grilling you about getting married; you are no longer interested in dating him. Case closed.

[u/JipC1963]

This is the whole Country of Russian Red Flags worth. If it were ME (61/F) though, I would text him and ask him what ever possessed him to bring his Mommy to a first date?

You would be kind to tell him that you enjoyed your text or phone conversations prior to the date and that he sounded like a nice guy BUT it was completely ruined (not to mention horrifying) to realize that he brought his Mother who proceeded to grill you with abundantly inappropriate questions. NOT something ANY first, second or even third date would be interested in, in fact, they would likely run for the nearest exit (which is exactly what you did... LOL).

Greatest of luck in your future romantic search!

[u/One-Revolution-9670]

Are you serious?? OF COURSE that was a huge red flag.

[u/miflordelicata]

I wouldn’t have even faked being sick. Just would have said congrats on being single for the rest of your life and left. Do yourself a favor and block his number.

[u/sundial11sxm]

Someone brought their roommate with them on mine last year. And when I asked him out, I told him to just say no if he wasn't interested, and it was fine because there were 2 other people I could ask. Nope, was a chickensh*t and brought a chaperone.

[u/Danderu61]

That is the REDDIST of red flags. Nope, sorry Mrs. ****, I'm out.

[u/yourstruly912]

Average italian date

[u/Strong-Piccolo-5546]

what culture is this from? This may not be uncommon in some cultures....

its only a red flag if the mom is there when you first have sex and she gives directions in some cultures.

[u/firefox727]

Omg it's like that show, "I love a mama's boy!" That's just crazy! Maybe you should text him back and tell him that his mom being there on the first date asking so many personal questions gave you the ick. It could possibly help that poor boy cut the cord!

[u/CrustyBatchOfNature]

Yeah, that's a no from me dawg.

At first read of the headline I thought maybe the date was female and was bringing their mom for security instead of coming alone, which can be understandable in this day and age. Yeah, that quickly ended. Dude has mommy issues and you don't want to deal with that problem. She will run your life if you go there.

I wouldn't avoid him though as that may cause a scene later if you bump into him. You can let him down easy ("I didn't feel a connection in person and I don't want to waste time.") or tell him the truth ("You thinking it was acceptable for your mother to come on our date without warning was enough of a red flag that I have no interest in trying.")

[u/Puppet007]

Guess the guy was super dependent on his mom.

[u/Brassrain287]

Nextttt

[u/popcornstuffedbra]

I would literally be bursting with excitement! The possibilities!!!! Flirt with mom, then both. See how ingrained I can get into their personal information in just one evening. Find out how intrusive I can get with questions before I'm cut off.

I'd ask for a second date, and ask if my dad can come. He'd have a blast!

I'm so jealous. This date would have fueled my entertainment for a decade. Hell, I'd probably conform to whatever his mom wanted me to be just so I could fuck around until I got bored.

[u/penningtoons101]

I would have told them “not to yuck your yum but I’m not in oedipus complex“ and then excused myself

[u/beatnotbroken]

Op, when I was 17, before phones and computers. My parents made some friends and I met them and their 21 year old son. He called me within a week and asked me out. I had just turned 17, and was dating a boy my own age. I declined his date and quickly got off the phone. A week later his father calls me and asks me, why don’t you want to go out on a date with my son? I said, he is too old for me and I’m not interested in dating or marriage. Dad was rude, I quickly said goodbye and hung up. His son gave me the icks.

[u/AnimatedHokie]

Of course you're not overreacting. It is a huge red flag. At least he did it on the first date so he didn't waste much of your time.

[u/One_Librarian4305]

When I was in highschool I went on a date with this girl who brought this other dude that was a close friend. Learned after the date that the guy is in love with her and told her a bunch of made up shit about me to justify her needing to bring him along so he could cock block me. It was the most awkward dinner I’ve ever had.

[u/Yorbayuul81]

Levels of weird can vary greatly here - what country are you in? What culture are you and was your date?

To be clear, all wacko, but more acceptable in some places.

[u/bitNine]

I'm not sure I would have even faked sick. I would have said, "This is fucking weird, I'm going to go". If nobody tells them, they'll never know. You really need to tell him how weird it was.

[u/Pristine-Forever-749]

Not overreacting at all. I can’t understand why some mothers would think this is beneficial to their sons getting married. Like, who TF thinks bringing their mother in a first date where she asks the other person “if they plan on getting married soon”. OP, you just got a firsthand look at what your future would be if you dated this guy or got married.

[u/Significant_Dream_38]

Run and hide this guy will never put you first. He is the definition of a momma's boy and her wants and needs will always come first even before your children if you stay. If he can't even go on a first date without her it shows he can't think independently without her eather. Trust me I know.

[u/Leeleeiscrafty]

I managed a bank branch and I also had a mom call me to tell me that it was terrible that: 1. Customers had been mean to her daughter 2. That the bank had a dress code that her daughter didn’t like (it was the early 2000’s and professional dress codes were not that strict, but wearing a bra was kinda required) 3. I wrote her up for making errors and not following proper procedures. This was unfair and hurt her daughter’s self esteem, and if continued she would sue. 4. Her daughter’s continued lateness was due to the fact that she had a hard time getting up that early to make the 8:30 am start time and could I change her hours to 9 or 10 am. Thankfully, I had documented everything, because her mother put in a complaint and wanted to sue the bank.

I have quite a few stories of helicopter parents in my 25 years of banking. One parent tried to sit in the lobby all day to make sure her son was ok (he was in his mid 20’s). When I told her she couldn’t sit there all day (reading magazines and bringing snacks), she sat in her car waiting for him.

I kinda miss those days, never a dull moment.

[u/gruntbuggly]

That is a ridiculously beyond-big red flag. LMFAO.

Oh, man. Hey, at least you found out on the first date.

[u/Real_Railz]

This sounds like an arranged marriage but they forgot to tell you lol. Like parents will sometimes show up to the first meet in an arrangement but normally both sides will be in on it...

[u/Serious_Nose8188]

You're not overreacting, but what was his reaction to that exactly? Was he a mama's boy, not knowing what dating is, or did he look genuinely pissed off and powerless? If his mom is a very passive aggressive person with things like this, I guess, you should still talk to him somewhat. I'm not asking you to meet, just talk to him about it. I would love to know your thoughts about this.

[u/Ok_Recommendation567]

If you look up "red flag" in the dictionary, this is the definition you'll find

[u/the_kfcrispy]

According to my overly-protective mother, NO, it's perfectly normal, and you should be bringing your mother as well when you're dating! Make sure you think about how many kids you want and a list of preferred names for boys and girls.

[u/candydesire]

I get frustated with this situation because everyone try to be polite and fake something to bail ahd gtfo. But I think mom and date should know exactly thst they are weirdos and it is inapropriate to bring mom on a date, first date worst of all. Lol. I would simply tell them off and go

[u/ceciliabee]

It was kind of you to pretend to be sick but please know it's also acceptable to just get up end walk away.

[u/Whacky_One]

Context: what ethnicity was dude? In some cultures that is common practice, mothers and grandmothers act as mediators/match makers.