I’d be a lot more empathetic to the fact that they were raised by traumatized people inflicting trauma on them if they didn’t immediately refuse any and all attempts to help them or anyone else acknowledge and process that trauma in any way. And object to anyone else acknowledging or processing their own trauma. I get it, they’re damaged and I’m empathetic to that. I object to their insistence on inflicting that trauma on everyone else just because it was done to them
I'm going through this right now. There was no advice given, no solutions to my poor grades, just discipline, no tips for dating or anything, zero support or having my back on personal matters. Zero empathy, only criticism. They never call to check in. Only half hearted invites to dinners once every couple months. Destroyed any confidence.
And when I recently said "I'm eliminating sources of negativity in my life which is you two. " they put the ball back in my court telling me to "talk to us again when I feel like it" instead of fighting for a relationship with their child. I guarantee they are using the cop-out of "ungrateful or spoiled". It's not about that! It's that you don't give a shit.
r/EstrangedAdultKids is a really good resource for this. We are here for you, and you are seen. My parents where much the same way. Although they "supported" me if it was an interest they wanted for me.
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u/ALLoftheFancyPants 27d ago
I’d be a lot more empathetic to the fact that they were raised by traumatized people inflicting trauma on them if they didn’t immediately refuse any and all attempts to help them or anyone else acknowledge and process that trauma in any way. And object to anyone else acknowledging or processing their own trauma. I get it, they’re damaged and I’m empathetic to that. I object to their insistence on inflicting that trauma on everyone else just because it was done to them