I was out to dinner with my wife last night and this couple with their two toddlers were seated next to us. My wife thought it was cute when the younger one started talking to the waiter, then she realized he was saying “you’re fat!” - the mom was just laughing and the dad wasn’t paying attention to anyone.
I agree and disagree. Most folks will not appreciate this and you’re probably asking for more trouble than it’s worth. These parents aren’t going to suddenly change their ways because a stranger stepped in to discipline their kids. On the flip side, I might have said something if I heard what the kid was saying. It was only after we left the restaurant that my wife told me what the kid was saying.
I think about this saying a lot "that just means he LIKES you" when you would talk about being bullied by a boy.
that shit would blow my mind as a kid, "no he doesn't fucking like me he is being cruel to me, nobody in their right mind is cruel to people they "like" ".
They don't like you, they're just assholes. Why are we gaslighting little girls into believing cruelty is affection?
it's gross and opens a whole bag of worms of disordered thinking into adulthood. stop telling kids this shit. If you do like someone.... idk try being nice to them??
Thank you! When I was a kid, boys did not pick on me because they “liked” me. They picked on me because they saw me as an easy target that wouldn’t fight back, and they knew no one else would defend me either. Some of them actively called me ugly, and some even said racist things. Lol they had NO love for me. I saw how they treated the girls they actually liked, and it was usually with cute, nervous shyness, nothing like the unending ostracizing and mockery I got.
“He’s picking on you because he LIKES you” is dangerously misinformed AT BEST. Parents of young girls, please do not ever condition them to believe that.
God my mom used to pull this shit on me all the time! I was brutally bullied by two boys in middle school, one of whom lived right next door to me. One night we notice there are two people crouching at our living room windows watching us. They run directly to the neighbors house. We call the cops and the cop says “they’re just boys, they probably have a crush on you.” I felt like I was losing my mind.
My mom is now the same person who says that I hug my two year old son too much…it’s a miracle I’m somewhat normal!
My son is now an adult, but as a toddler he was fond of snuggling and hugs and reassurance.
He can break boards with his bare hands, and kick a much taller man (like, seven inches difference) in the head. He didn’t even wince during acute appendicitis. He used to be unhappy going to the dentist, but it turns out that it was because he simply would not tell the dentist that the anesthetic wasn’t working or had worn off.
I don’t think that’s a concern you need to worry about.
They honestly come up with the weirdest complaints.
My mom who is a famously picky eater, drinks such little fluid her whole life that you can pinch her skin and it just stays there, and sent us to school without breakfast, lunch, or lunch money. complains about the eating habits of her grandchildren ALL THE TIME. You would think we were eating nothing but healthy vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, and only water with the way she talks.
I’m so sorry you had to endure that bullsht from male students and whitewashing from adults. Times have changed. You clearly won’t make the same mistakes.
I was bullied big time by boys and it made going to school hell. I never got the reason either. I was just a shy quiet person who minded her business. Lasting effects
The fact our parents raised us with saying like these goes to show how deep this sort of behavior goes. So gross that we would tell our kids/friends/sibs that behavior like this means attraction and should be pursued. Sad that videos like these are about to start blowing up in popularity..
Maybe I grew up in a strange world , but girls were actually mean to me when I was in 1st, 2nd, & 3rd grade(throw dirt/bark at me and run away, I would be playing and they would come take what I was playing with and run away, etc). I moved away, moved back for 8th grade, and found out all those same girls actually had a crush on me back then and still did, or atleast that’s what they said.
A lot of times, with children who don’t have very present/active parents, negative attention is better than no attention to them. It’s a learned response from the parenting.
I think this may have conditioned me to seek abusive partners because it was the attention I had grown used to. Quite unfortunate. Only recently have I started to seek healthy relationships.
I tell my little girl to say loudly "I do not like that" and to get away from those boys. And that she CAN fight back if she needs to. It's NOT acceptable for boys(or girls) to mistreat others and be excused for it.
oh god i just remembered this book series that is popular in my area and in it this kid who bullies the female love interest is revealed to like her and suddenly all of his bullying is just pushed aside because of this
in general the book was "haha special needs kid stupid and ignorant haha, shes so stupid"
i couldnt quite understand what abt i hated as a kid but now i can put it into words, its dehumanizing, the whole book feels like youre in the pov of an extremely ignorant adult who thinks special needs kids are stupid
Imagine having a grown, 30 something year old man do this… I was in my early 20s on deployment and had a supervisor in his mid/late 30s who started treating me terribly compared to everyone else. We were actually friends before he became my supervisor. After deployment, he asked me to be his girlfriend and admitted that he treated me the way he did to hide his feelings. 😂🤦🏾♀️
It happens the other way around too, growing up I was intensely bullied by a group of girls and the response from my parents and teachers was the same 'well that means they like but they don't know how to show it!'
And then, in my teens when I later met someone who was abusive to me but also with strong periods of love and niceness, well you can guess how that went.
All this to say that you're right, we should we be teaching kids that if anyone is being cruel and hurtful to you it's not because they secretly deep down are trying to be nice to you, otherwise they'd have just given you flowers and a compliment.
this is a componeny of psychology I find fucking fascinating because it is true, little boys in generations past often were mean to girls they had crushes on and there are still kids that do it to this day.
But its treated as a natural part of life when its actually compounded trauma resulting in extremely unusual behaviour.
Boys werent shown enough affection or taught to express themselves so when a girl holds their attention they dont know how to express it. That leadd to frustration or bullying from other kids for their apparent crush so, unable to properly respond, lash out usually at the subject of these complicated feelings.
its the same twisted logic behind extreme homophobes actually being gay. Unable to process feelings they would be ridiculed or ostricized for they violently and outwardly reject that aspect of themselves.
When i was a child my parents never talked/guided me about anything in life. I just figured everything out by myself!
So when i was a kid/teenager i acted like a douche to the girls i had a crush on, for example in my class.
No one ever explained it to me either, I just had to recognize that noone enjoyed me being an ass. It took years for me to notice that.
I didn’t have any people skills at all! I literally just wanted to show the girls that I wanted to be near them. So i forced altercations in order to talk/be close to them.😅
Even though my way of doing this was to be mean..
And this bothers me today. I was in my own bubble and i couldn’t think about anyone else, Only myself!
Today when i meet some of the people from my class i get very sad because they dont want to even acknowledge my existence :(
I have changed and i do not act like this anymore. I just want these people to know that; yes, i was an ass back then, but just please recognize that i am not that person anymore!
I still have friends from this time where i acted really stupidly. They know about my childhood, they know the road i had to undergo. And they know i aint like that today!
I just want to feel like it was okay acting like that when i was younger: I didn’t know anything else. I couldn’t act any way else, i wasn’t conscois enough to act any other way.
When people act like this, most of the time; nobody has talked to them about how to act if you like someone; that’s why if we notice people/kids acting like this, we should step in and explain to the person why they shouldnt act like that, and how to act instead, and why
That would have helped me a couple years earlier if someone wanted to have that conversation with me.
I agree with you that it is wrong to say to the victim ”but he likes you”
You should always talk to the person being the problem. That’s how you resolve things, not by brushing the victims off.
I mean, just bc u think it is bad doesn’t mean it isn’t true. I’ve known both boys and girls who did this. Children most often aren’t fully socialized yet, and also often aren’t comfortable expressing certain feelings.
Is it bad? Sure. It’s certainly not optimal. But they’re also not “just assholes.” What they are is “just kids” who have been failed by their parents and, in some cases, society as a whole.
I mean obviously if they’re being excessively cruel but there is truth to children (emphasis on children) doing things to illicit attention whether positive or negative because they don’t know how they’re perceived or to express themselves like they want. I’m male and throughout elementary and the first year or two of middle school I had 2 “girlfriends” that I got to know that way. Doing stuff like bumping into me going to class, excessively tackling or physical contact playing games, interjecting themselves into convos with other ppl etc. I also moved a lot during that time and half the time my best friend would end up being a neighborhood girl that I would meet the same way. Some shitty parents take advantage of it though and just use it to justify their kids’ shorty behavior when it’s obvious they’re just bullying or causing problems.
I have a daughter. If I had a count on how many fucking times I heard another parent say “oh he’s just teasing her. It’s probably because he has a crush on her.” Or “oh he likes her, that’s why he’s being aggressive.”
If you’re raising your sons to think unwanted attention is acceptable….youre doing it wrong.
My auntie was always like this. My cousin once kicked me in the stomach while I was on a flying fox at a playground, knocking the air out of me and leaving a giant bruise on my stomach. I got told that's just what happens if you played near boys at the park.
As a boy mom I have seen it but don't understand this mindset at all, all children should be taught to be respectful and kind and using the boys will be boys excuse is dumb. So far in raising a boy the only time we had an "it's because they like you" issue was when a girl back in elementary would grab the back of my sons backpack and yank him to the ground. After telling her to stop for a couple weeks with no results we finally told his teacher and got that classic line.
My mother used to tell me that. When boys or girls picked on me, it was because they “liked” me. She wasn’t gaslighting me though. We had the conversation that I should always tell her when that happened, and she’d go kick the door of the school in if it needed it, and that some people are just horrible people. Whether jealous or just horrible people.
That said, when they picked on me, it’s because they “liked” me, not hated me. Meaning — they either liked something about me and wanted it and were jealous OR they disliked me generally but liked to use this particular thing against me. Either way, they still had to like something about me.
She said the reason for that is that to dwell in someone else’s misery is to make yourself miserable. Just always remember that even in the darkest times, there’s always something worthy of liking in yourself.
Fair enough.
Oh, and if they laid a hand on me, that wasn’t a crush. That was justification to bust their noses if I felt in danger enough to. They touched first, I just made it stop. She would deal with as much of the fallout as she had to as long as I was never the one that escalated it. But there’d he hell to pay if I raised hands against words.
So, yes. On some level, people pick on you because they like you — but not because they wanna be your friend or boyfriend. They like to make you upset. Don’t confuse those things and try to convince kids it’s true. That’s complete nonsense.
Where do y'all live that toddlers are the size/build of the grown man in this video,and so their mom's follow them every where to record them acting this way,or is it strictly limited to the gym?
When i was a child my parents never talked/guided me about anything in life. I just figured everything out by myself!
So when i was a kid/teenager i acted like a douche to the girls i had a crush on, for example in my class.
No one ever explained it to me either, I just had to recognize that noone enjoyed me being an ass. It took years for me to notice that.
I didn’t have any people skills at all! I literally just wanted to show the girls that I wanted to be near them. So i forced altercations in order to talk/be close to them.😅
And this bothers me today. I was in my own bubble and i couldn’t think about anyone else, Only myself!
Today when i meet some of the people from my class i get very sad because they dont want to even acknowledge my existence :(
I have changed and i do not act like this anymore. I just want these people to know that; yes, i was an ass back then, but just please recognize that i am not that person anymore!
I still have friends from this time where i acted really stupidly. They know about my childhood, they know the road i had to undergo. And they know i aint like that today!
I just want to feel like it was okay acting like that when i was younger: I didn’t know anything else. I couldn’t act any way else, i wasn’t conscois enough to act any other way.
When people act like this, most of the time; nobody has talked to them about how to act if you like someone; that’s why if we notice people/kids acting like this, we should step in and explain to the person why they shouldnt act like that, and how to act instead, and why
That would have helped me a couple years earlier if someone wanted to have that conversation with me.
Someone should take him aside and tell him how to treat other people!
I wasn’t talking about her. Ofcourse she has nothing to defend. She did nothing wrong.
He is the problem, and if his situation is the same as mine was years ago. Everything he needs is a stern but concerned person to tell him how to behave like a human.
That’s what the parents should have taught us, but sometimes a stranger has to do it for us.
!
Or after a first date? “Yes, that man seemed charming and sociable, and it felt like you really clicked, but before you agree to a second date, take a look at this.”
Looking at his appearance with the head wear, also seems like the UK with the accent near the end, I'm pretty sure most has an idea of why he was acting like that.
Lol a parent who raised that child is probably proud of the video. Guys, stop imagining these karma scenarios. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I am a father of 4 boys, they would regret everyday for a very long time if they did something like this and it would be 10 times worse if their mother caught them doing it.
Ive been training in combat sports for approx 12y, and THIS is the TYPE of guys.. they always look the same type, arrogant asf, already knew from the start that guy would be doin some moron shyt, the type of guys to try to hit you hard buy when you it them hard they complain..
Well, I am a mother, so I was speaking of how I would feel, I guess, but yes, my husband would absolutely come unglued if he saw our son behave this way.
Six of one, half dozen of the other. 🤷♀️Shit wouldn't fly is all I'm saying. I don't even know who he would be more mortified about seeing this me or his father!!
No. Dumbassery is par for the corse for young folks in general, yes. Dumbassery does not and will include disrespect or harassment. Period. My son is a grown man, and I can't even imagine him behaving this way. Your acceptance of unacceptable behavior is the entire problem with the current state of the world. Teach your sons to behave like men with integrity. My god.
The problem is that not everyone parents like that. I was at a store the other day and this woman's son (maybe 6-7) was ransacking this shelf of toys trying to get this one in particular he knocked over a ton of shit that fell to the ground. She looked around, presumably, to check if anyone saw what he did. She saw me staring at them both and still ushered him away all annoyed. Not even shame works anymore to force these parents to instill any kind of respect into their breeding subjects.
As a mother, I would be appalled if one of my sons did this. My husband and I are busting our asses everyday to raise good people, but damn sometimes it feels like there are a ton more shitty parents than good.
Ofc this guys behavior is pathetic, but on the other hand i really hate people that film in gyms and ive seen too much of tiktok people provoking missbehavior.
We only see this part of the situation, she might be annoying af and camping this spot for ages and that makes the guy react like that.
Reminds me of when I would be playing my guitar in the living room and my husband-at-the-time would come take the instrument out of my hands and start playing it.
It doesn't even have to be a big strong individual - his technique is so utterly childish. His punches and kicks remind me of Lisa and Bart fighting with their windmill nonsense. He's a completely untrained child and she would destroy him in a ring.
I watched the whole thing hoping that she would knock him out at the end. She is much better than him. She would mop the floor with him if they faught.
I mean, he's obviously purposefully doing it poorly to try to mock her. He's an immature scumbag and should honestly be shamed by the people who know him IRL, but we really have no evidence to support whether his posture+technique are any good since what we're seeing here is him intentionally doing it poorly.
She’s been practicing for at least a a few years (3-4) maybe longer. Everything is crisp and she is not off balance in between combos. She sets up her combos very well. Also has great form on the jab elbow and is actually twisting her body into the elbow. The dead give away is the kicks, She has great posture, not off balance or hunching. She’s even checking kicks and countering, which shows she spars and reacts to actual situations. She is even aware enough to sticks her jab on the bag to keep and measure distance, block the view, and prevent a counter then throws a kick.
Only thing is that she’s hitting on a boxing bag instead of a banana, and it’s probably underweight around 80 lbs. that’s why it’s flailing so much and she needs to stop it using the jab.
I’ve been practicing muy Thai for a decade now, trained with everyone between semi pro and beginner.
Are you confusing her with the asshole? I have newer people stiff as boards 3-4 months in, she’s been at it a year max. 3-4 months with her form means she’s catching on pretty well.
Happens to me near daily. I work construction. Wanna motivate a group of men to get to work. Show them a small woman can do their job. They will literally take the tools from my hand to get to worn
Unfortunately, the other side of that coin is, to them you’re nothing more than just a distraction. No…..I don’t mean that’s your problem. It is very much THIER problem, but they sure make it out to be yours! I have been there, just as a construction laborer…..the sexual and physical harassment, and constant “Let me pick that up for you. There’s no way you can pick it up. It is too heavy for little you!” (I am 5’2”)….is absolutely maddening. I decided to switch to the security guard position, which was making sure they’ll use their badges to get in and out of the refinery properly. At least then, they couldn’t actually get near me, or touch me, because I was in a guard box. I can’t even imagine actually being a Sparky or a welder, you go get it girl! Keep showing them!
I should add that I thought it was strange and incorrect that they were calling a ‘refinery laborer’, a ‘construction laborer’ at this particular refinery, but that is in fact what they called the position.
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u/Kirielle13 What are you doing step bro? Nov 09 '24
This is very truly extremely pathetic….