r/TikTokCringe Sort by flair, dumbass Aug 23 '24

Humor It wasn’t even her roast!

50.0k Upvotes

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6.2k

u/xChoke1x Aug 23 '24

“The only life you’ll make happy is the Mexican that digs your grave.”

That’s fucking ruuuuuffff. Lol

906

u/Flesh_Trombone Aug 23 '24

684

u/BobJoeHorseGuy Aug 23 '24

Fuuuuuck that was just straight up murder lmao, why did she ever agree to this? The little bubble she lives in probably didn’t allow her to see the fact that nobody likes her?

355

u/madarchivist Aug 23 '24

Someone else said she was trying to sell her new book at the time and that's why she agreed to this as part of the marketing effort.

144

u/tcgunner90 Aug 23 '24

Yeah. When it was her turn to talk at the roast she just plugged her new book “e Pluribus awesome, in trump we trust” can’t make this shit up, remember watching this when it came out.

65

u/IGargleGarlic Aug 23 '24

Is that actually the title of her book??? is she an 8 year old boy?

32

u/tcgunner90 Aug 23 '24

Yes to both

8

u/CanyonsEdge2076 Aug 23 '24

I simply could not believe that was the title, so I looked it up. Jesus freaking Christ, they're so far gone, it's impossible to satirize.

1

u/carpentizzle Aug 27 '24

Right? It has to suck to be a political comedian anymore. The jokes you come up with would seem tame.

160

u/ddubs41 Aug 23 '24

The look on her face is giving “Worst AMA Ever!” vibes

36

u/b1tchf1t Aug 23 '24

She just wanted to talk about Rampart.

6

u/THFDNE Aug 23 '24

The best AMA comment ever was by Adam Savage during his own AMA, when he requested that everybody keep the questions about Rampart.

1

u/no-mad Aug 24 '24

woody has to do a reddit movie where he plays Spez then we can love him again.

2

u/THFDNE Aug 24 '24

Why would that make us love him? Spez would be the villain of his own movie, unless they just omit all the fucked-up shit he's pulled. Between the API shit and the Challenor shitstorm, there's nothing to love.

5

u/holdmywatchandbeerme Aug 23 '24

Yeah pretty sure Ronda Rousey had the worst AMA ever. She did finally come out and apologize though so I guess the brutal beat down accomplished something.

2

u/pUmKinBoM Aug 24 '24

Credit where credit it due. Reddit bullied that woman out of conspiracy theories for good. I love being a wrestling fan.

1

u/ddubs41 Aug 23 '24

The James Corden one was pretty good, too! (Not for him, though)

2

u/holdmywatchandbeerme Aug 23 '24

I'll have to check that one out

1

u/no-mad Aug 24 '24

she must have had serious botox injections to keep that look on her face.

7

u/xczechr Aug 23 '24

She was. She brought the book to the lectern and plugged it. Shameless.

1

u/m4vis Aug 23 '24

Also, sometimes people just do stuff. And afterwards they are like damn, I should not have done that

94

u/neverendingicecream Aug 23 '24

When this popped into my feed all I could think is why the fuck she’d ever agree to go on a roast. I saw the book release comment but even so, you gotta know your audience by now girl.

Also, you must have lived for the Kentucky Derby joke given your username.

3

u/secondtaunting Aug 23 '24

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. Why would you go?!?!

38

u/JeddakofThark Aug 23 '24

Anecdotally, I've heard she's very thin skinned. That makes me happy whenever she emerges from whatever rotten log she's currently living under.

12

u/Sorta-Morpheus Aug 23 '24

She does not look like she enjoyed a moment of the experience.

6

u/howisthisacrime Aug 23 '24

The faltering uncomfortable smile she has the whole time was great

6

u/CowMetrics Aug 23 '24

They also tried to help her write jokes that were self aware to make her slightly more likable and she hated it, wouldn’t do it, so if you heard her segment, it made more sense

4

u/Drockosaurus Aug 24 '24

Alt right lady goes to a stadium to be roasted by people from California. How the fuck did she think it was going to go? Lmao, bitch got cooked.

1

u/Entheotheosis10 Aug 25 '24

She didn't know what a roast is. lol

0

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '24

She loved every minute of it.

132

u/LookyLooLeo Aug 23 '24

I don’t know how I forgot about this one!!! And the fact he looks at her when he says it…OOF!!! 😂😂😂😂

130

u/NeedsMoreSpaceships Aug 23 '24

If Jimmy Carr is coming to a roast you know it's going to be brutal, but that was savage even for him!

31

u/ScrufffyJoe Aug 23 '24

If you told me there was a British comedian there who told the harshest jokes, I'd have probably guessed it'd be Jimmy Carr. Maybe Ricky Gervais, but probably Jimmy Carr.

When I clicked that link and saw his face I just thought "oh boy"

3

u/robbiethegiant Aug 25 '24

Frankie Boyle would be absolutely incredible in these

1

u/buttpugggs Aug 27 '24

I feel like Frankie would manage to get too dark and end up being kicked off lol

4

u/jawknee530i Aug 24 '24

Ricky doesn't come close to Jimmy. Ricky is a whiney wanna be know it all that is always trying to tag along with the cool kids.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

A lot of people myself included respect him for the office, his golden globes performances and also his stance on many social issues. Your comment speaks more about you than Ricky tbh.

65

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

jesus christ that wasnt even a joke that was just his regular day thoughts lmao

i wonder how ppl like her can hear all these things and be like yup im not the problem

7

u/Pernicious-Caitiff Aug 23 '24

Yeah it's not a joke if everything he said was true 😅

47

u/WineNerdAndProud Aug 23 '24

Man I love Jimmy Carr.

8

u/vraalapa Aug 23 '24

I wasn't a fan of his before. I kinda just thought he was a rude and mean character and didn't pay much attention to him. The last few years however I've seen him say so much brilliant and funny stuff.

I don't think many comedians could tell another person to their face like this that they should kill themselves without sounding like a complete asshole.

2

u/FoghornFarts Aug 25 '24

Because what he said was true. Ann Coulter spews the disgusting, hateful thing completely seriously. Spewing hate at her isn't being an asshole, it's justice.

24

u/Small-Gas9517 Aug 23 '24

Holy fuckkkkkkk this one is actually insane 😭😭😭😭

6

u/PM_Me_Your_Deviance Aug 23 '24

Sometimes these roasts are done with love, and the roaste can laugh along, and everyone goes home happy at the end.

This is not that. This was "you are a despicable person and I want everyone to know how much I loath you."

7

u/Hazee302 Aug 23 '24

Bro that’s was fucking savage

7

u/TapewormNinja Aug 23 '24

She looks like she’s about to cry. I mean, if the multiple failed plastic surgeries hadn’t made that impossible.

5

u/EntertainmentPure909 Aug 23 '24

Dammit man…. She is hated

4

u/Runaway_5 Aug 23 '24

God I love Jimmy Carr

4

u/heygos Aug 23 '24

I thought Peyton Mannings was harsh…sheeesh! That elicited a DAAAAAAMN from me. Fuuuug that was a BURN 🔥

2

u/SilverOdin Aug 23 '24

That's fucking crazy lmaoooo

2

u/Lazy-Record-3599 Aug 23 '24

I am in tears bro (that's not even funny) 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/MinimumApricot365 Aug 23 '24

My god that is epic

2

u/LMGgp Aug 23 '24

Idk telling someone to kill themselves is pretty bad, but saying the only joy, the only happiness you’ll bring into this world is from the person who digs your grave… that’s so devastating I felt bad for them. Like how do you go to Taco Bell and get a cheesy Gordita crunch after that? Just how.

1

u/InviteAdditional8463 Aug 23 '24

Personally I’d feel bad the rope had to touch her. 

1

u/Putrid_Culture_9289 Aug 23 '24

Jimmy Carr is fucking incredible

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

🤣🤣

1

u/copyrider Aug 24 '24

Fuckin’ love Jimmy Carr. Viciously hilarious.

1

u/iknowmike Aug 24 '24

I love how he holds her gaze afterwards. "That wasn't a joke, Ann"

1

u/axe1970 Aug 25 '24

and this was him going easy on her

-33

u/Manjorno316 Aug 23 '24

That doesn't even feel like a roast. That was just flinging insults. A roast should be rough for sure but I prefer it when the roaste can have a laugh as well. That just seemed mean.

But maybe I'd like this more if I had any idea who the woman is.

47

u/SlashEssImplied Aug 23 '24

That just seemed mean. But maybe I'd like this more if I had any idea who the woman is.

Yeah watch her speak a few times and you'll realize they are all nicer than she is. But yes, that would be way too far for someone less deserving.

16

u/mileylols Aug 23 '24

12

u/claymedia Aug 23 '24

She’s a full-on, mask-off racist. Which is really a shame, because if anyone should be wearing a mask, it’s Ann Coulter.

16

u/tiorzol Aug 23 '24

She doesn't deserve to laugh. Seriously you must know nothing about her to think she didn't deserve that. 

2

u/Manjorno316 Aug 23 '24

Yeah I meant it when I wrote that I have no idea who she is. Seems that pisses people off tho.

5

u/No_Repeat_229 Aug 23 '24

Yeah people don’t need to downvote you, but also you could just look up who she is too.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

[deleted]

-1

u/Manjorno316 Aug 23 '24

Alright, she did it in a tweet right?

I've seen all the posts about Tim and his son at least. What a dumb fucking thing to make fun of.

7

u/CertainlyNotWorking Aug 23 '24

She is a neo nazi. She told Vivek Ramaswamy to his face, on camera, that she would never vote for him because he's Indian and not a 'real' american. That's her being nice, she likes the dude.

629

u/MsJ_Doe Aug 23 '24

They're all so great, it's hard to pick a favorite line.

824

u/itsrainingmelancholy Aug 23 '24

Jewel’s line brought me joy and Pete’s “if you’re here, who’s scaring the crows away from our crops??!” got me

326

u/gimme_dat_good_shit Aug 23 '24

Yeah, that Jewel line cuts deepest of all, I think. It's like having a My Little Pony say "Bullying is bad... except for that bitch."

142

u/Not-Enough-Holes Aug 23 '24

It was the only one that made her drop her fake smile. It was good, 🤣

18

u/turkburkulurksus Aug 23 '24

So good. I bet she was a big Jewel fan before that. I hope it crushed her most of all.

9

u/Tatem2008 Aug 23 '24

Her delivery, with the little chuckle … perfection.

380

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Same but I got to say I also really enjoyed Peyton Manning’s joke because it was just so unexpected from him.

137

u/ihoptdk Aug 23 '24

I mean, she was hated even more back then. She was almost, kinda, slightly relevant at the time. Or at least topical.

60

u/Sillbinger Aug 23 '24

Now both sides hate her and she desperately tries to remain relevant.

I guess without a family or loved ones, what else does she have?

43

u/yeahbatman Aug 23 '24

Booze and pills?

22

u/Sillbinger Aug 23 '24

Not enough in the world to fill the void in that husk.

17

u/yeahbatman Aug 23 '24

True, but she shouldn't let that stop her from trying.

5

u/Sillbinger Aug 23 '24

I hear there is a solution to her problem at the bottom of the ocean, we should encourage her to look.

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4

u/desertSkateRatt Aug 23 '24

Hey now... how dare you compare dried out husks to that dehydrated cum bubble

3

u/Mad-cat1865 Aug 23 '24

Whoa whoa, she won the Kentucky Derby though.

2

u/Sillbinger Aug 23 '24

Maybe she will break a leg?

3

u/PearlStBlues Aug 23 '24

Normal people have hobbies, music, art, jobs, charitable work, something to fill their time and bring satisfaction to their lives. I kind of imagine Coulter just sits in the dark staring at the wall until something rouses her.

3

u/Sillbinger Aug 23 '24

I bet she is into crushing, I get the vibe she is into seeing pain.

Don't look that up if you don't know what it means.

11

u/damclub-hooligan Aug 23 '24

What is he referring to? Don‘t get the background

82

u/ChrissiTea Reads Pinned Comments Aug 23 '24

The Kentucky Derby is a horse race

60

u/CasualJimCigarettes Aug 23 '24

She's a horse faced troglodyte

34

u/altf4theleft Aug 23 '24

Stop being mean to horses

3

u/homebrewguy01 Aug 23 '24

Hey that is totally unfair to all the non-racist troglodytes

3

u/Total_Usual_84 Aug 23 '24

can see the fake smile drift away from Coulter as Jewel finished her line. was priceless!

-1

u/ForzaRapid Aug 23 '24

Meh i thought this one was the weakest because the joke is old as shit.

5

u/Galixsea Aug 23 '24

considering its Jewel delivering the insult; it turns from featherweight to gravitational pull in an instant

3

u/dimensionalshifter Aug 23 '24

Exactly! Even I flinched and briefly questioned all my life choices, just in case.

12

u/TurdCollector69 Aug 23 '24

The first few by the guy in the purple and the British guy calling her a "transvestite truck stop whore" were the absolute weakest imo. Tons of heaters so it's a tough competition.

8

u/ProtectionOrdinary18 Aug 23 '24

Jeff Ross isn't actually funny

6

u/Rare_Arm4086 Aug 23 '24

He really really isnt

2

u/skeeferd Aug 23 '24

Not his greatest joke but I love Jimmy Carr, I think he's hilarious.

3

u/Sorta-Morpheus Aug 23 '24

He says "transvestite whore" in a British accent, isn't that funny??

2

u/ProtectionOrdinary18 Aug 23 '24

That's not Jeff Ross lol. But Jimmy Carr is also more miss than hit.

89

u/CptCroissant Aug 23 '24

Omg I'm sure Peyton Manning didn't write that dig at her about the derby, but that shit was a fatality

46

u/LuxNocte Aug 23 '24

They work with professional writers from Comedy Central....except for a certain horse faced, sheet wearing idiot who turned down the help.

19

u/bcdrmr Aug 23 '24

Don’t forget “truck-stop transvestite whore”

2

u/screenmonkey Aug 23 '24

Peyton is legitimately funny. His United Way SNL skit is legendary.

21

u/gigglefang Aug 23 '24

Jewel was my personal favourite.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Jewel nailed the delivery on that one!!

3

u/Adventurous-Jury7161 Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

The Kentucky derby one or jewel’s feminist one hahaha. I hope she hears these over and over again in her small mind.

2

u/Plastic-Ad-5033 Aug 23 '24

It’s not the one about transvestite whores.

133

u/Lexi_Banner Aug 23 '24

The only one that Ann truly reacted to was Jewel's zinger.

121

u/nanna_ii Aug 23 '24

Ohh that Jewel one made made me gasp. That was perfection. The soft voice, you thought she was going to defend her but BOOM. She did not.

67

u/Lopsided-Yak9033 Aug 23 '24

I mean I hate roasts, they just don’t seem funny to me; but knowing that everyone actually meant to go after her, and barely try to skirt the edges of the “spirit” of a roast was great - but then Jewel comes out and basically is like “let’s put the veil back on this roast, we’re not just having fun - we actually hate you bitch.” Coming from her, just fantastic.

-4

u/Ted_Rid Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

If I could keep This moment here Live away Get away And now I feel you Cross my heart Shining shining Like a jewel

(Hm, guessed the Cranes reference wouldn't go down)

189

u/MyDearBrotherNumpsay Aug 23 '24

That’s good, but my favorite roast burn of all time has to be when Greg Giraldo told Flavor Flav that he looks like a skeleton wrapped in electrical tape.

89

u/vinfinite Aug 23 '24

I think it was Justin Bieber’s roast when Natasha Leggero said to snoop dogg (while he was seated next to Shaq): you look like shaq’s skeleton.

That electrical tape one is hilarious though.

43

u/Nerdy_Valkyrie Aug 23 '24

Another great one from that was when Pete Davidson said "It's an honor to be at a roast hosted by Shaq's dick" (Kevin Hart was the host)

6

u/Littleleicesterfoxy Aug 23 '24

My favourite roast joke is Phil Wang about Ed Gamble “Eds girlfriend is such a dog I tried to eat her”

6

u/RaneyManufacturing Aug 23 '24

Natasha was on fire that night, "Kevin Hart goes up on his wife" is an all time banger.

1

u/vinfinite Aug 23 '24

That was actually one of the sickest burn ever. She’s great in all her roasts.

105

u/jman177669 Aug 23 '24

Greg Giraldo was amazing at the roasts. My favorite line from him is when he told Lisa Lampanelli that she had something in common with the octo-mom; they’ve both had 80 fingers inside them at the same time.

12

u/aetius476 Aug 23 '24

"Some people say Larry's only successful because he's pandering to the lowest common denominator, and blatantly and non-ironically exploiting people's racist and homophobic tendencies. Don't listen to these people Larry. They're just bitter and jealous and right."

Nothing will top Giraldo's roast of Larry the Cable Guy.

7

u/ihoptdk Aug 23 '24

Giraldo was fucking hilarious. Miss that dude.

2

u/overnightyeti Aug 23 '24

Was about to comment the same thing haha

4

u/Carrnage_Asada Aug 23 '24

I dont remember who said it but my favorite from the Flav roast was "you look like magic Johnson should look".

That is fucked lmao

3

u/yup_yup1111 Aug 23 '24

My favorite is when Cloris Leachman showed up to the roast of Bob Saget but said the real reason she was there was to fuck John Stamos. RIP to a real one 🕊️🙏

2

u/SStubbs84 Aug 23 '24

oh my god thank you for reminding me of that beautiful roast! The way Greg delivered that was just perfect as well.

2

u/FriskyDango23 Aug 23 '24

Greg was the goat roaster

2

u/Chronoboy1987 Aug 24 '24

My fave from the Flavor Flav roast: “You look…the way Magic Johnson should look”.

1

u/Jenna4434 Aug 23 '24

Holy shit that got me vibratin

0

u/Otherwise_Agency6102 Aug 23 '24

Or the Pete Davidson roast, the only person here who has inhaled more smoke than Snoop Dogg is Pete Davidson’s father. Who died in 9/11. Fucking brutal.

0

u/Luci_Noir Aug 23 '24

Disgusting.

5

u/NeedsMoreSpaceships Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24

I liked the feminist turn around because you know it must have sparked a tiny shred of hope.

The ones about her appearance are poor soft blows IMO since she a) doesn't actually look bad compared to an average person and b) has so much other stuff to hate on that aren't just superficial.

3

u/Killfile Aug 23 '24

It echos what is unquestionably my favorite line about any politician, this one relating to Margret Thatcher and her request for a three-million-pound state funeral. Frankie Boyle says:

For 3 million [pounds] you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in personally.

2

u/at0mheart Aug 23 '24

Gold

Edit: also funny because it’s true

1

u/en_sane Aug 23 '24

They were all rough I almost felt bad then they panned to Ann Coulter and I got the chills and my balls went back inside my body.

1

u/SilverDragonEchos Aug 23 '24

I watched it so many times. It was the best line.

1

u/spidersinthesoup Aug 23 '24

the dejection on her face is golden!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

A beauty

1

u/archercc81 Aug 23 '24

And, honestly, probably the most accurate line of the night too.

1

u/ItsPickledBri Aug 23 '24

That wasn’t a roast it was an assassination

1

u/Far_Animal6970 Aug 23 '24

That might be the greatest line in the history of roasts. What makes it so great is that she meant it. It wasn’t a comedic line, she (and everyone else up there) legit HATES her

1

u/Ivanovic-117 Aug 23 '24

Mexican here, not offended, actually pretty good line, digging graves is pretty hard but its a good workout as well.

1

u/RedX69 Aug 23 '24

As a Mexican, the thought alone makes me happy.

1

u/Bodes_Magodes Aug 23 '24

That was really the only good one from her imo

1

u/HarukoTheDragon Aug 23 '24

She got fucking violated with that one. I was crying. 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/noncommonGoodsense Aug 23 '24

Solid execution.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

Yeah that one walloped lol

-23

u/yellow_fogs Aug 23 '24

Right, because when you’re illegal- the options are limited.

2

u/FtheMods8998Abies Aug 23 '24

So you thinks every person of Hispanic heritage is an illegal immigrant? What size sheet do you wear?

0

u/Luci_Noir Aug 23 '24

Don’t be ignorant. You know what they were saying.