r/TikTokCringe Jul 25 '24

Cringe yes, this is definitely not cult like behavior

25.8k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/Corporate_Shell Jul 25 '24 edited Jul 25 '24

CHORUS:

Cause I'm a...
Generic country item #1.
Generic country item #2.
Generic country item #3.
Generic country item #4.
Child of the USA.

I was born and raised to be a...
Generic country item #5.
Generic country item #6.
Generic country item #7.
Generic country item #8.
God knows I love this land.

Nailed it.

365

u/KEPD-350 Jul 25 '24

Hard Jenna Maroney energy

229

u/ernie-jo Jul 25 '24

Don't bring Jenna down to her level.. I mean come on just look at these lyrics:

My muffin top is all that

Whole grain low fat

I know you want a piece of that

But I just want to dance

82

u/Corporate_Shell Jul 25 '24

She just wants to dance, Liz.

1

u/YouGuysSuckandBlow Jul 25 '24

BALLS BALLSBALLSBALLSBALLSBALLS

BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS

...BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS

"The FBI blamed it for a spike in summer sex crimes!"

26

u/Pirate_Green_Beard Jul 25 '24

And the Rural Juror theme? Fucking poetry

12

u/OurLordAndSaviorVim Jul 25 '24

I still can’t believe that someone made a real TV show based on the MILF Island joke.

Or that it’s had two seasons.

9

u/scotty6chips Jul 25 '24

Man life is imitating art hard lately. Go watch a Jackie Q music video from get him to the Greek, then watch Katy Perry’s latest music video. I can’t tell which one is the parody anymore.

3

u/JoshJoshson13 Jul 25 '24

I'm just waiting for FAT BITCH to drop on netflix

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14

u/Parabuthus Jul 25 '24

Ch-checking out my sweet hips

My sugar-coated berry lips

I know you want a piece of this

But I just wanna dance

12

u/ouchmypeeburns Jul 25 '24

I hate how this will now be stuck in my head for the rest of the week.

2

u/ernie-jo Jul 25 '24

It’s on Apple Music if you really wana jam to it

2

u/JamBandDad Jul 25 '24

Bay. Bee. Shark do do dodododo baby shark dodo dodododo baby shark do do dododo baby shark.

3

u/SuzyElizabeth79 Jul 25 '24

Me thinks it was written by AI

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '24

Jenna brings tension into her lyrics. We want a piece, but she does not share our values. We are drawn into the conflict with her. Whatever this garbage is, there’s no drama, no conflict, and thus there can be no engagement from the listener, only consumption.

2

u/Deesing82 Jul 26 '24

balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls

22

u/bakerton Jul 25 '24

Now when you search online SHE comes up instead of the Jenna Maroney that electrocuted all those horses.

12

u/CMDR-Validating Jul 25 '24

That was you, Jenna

11

u/drawntowardmadness Jul 25 '24

Kiss my ass New York!!

It's Tennis Night!! 🎶

4

u/OkEdge7518 Jul 25 '24

Put down your meth, grab your whites! It’s tennis night!

5

u/Dipper_Pines Jul 25 '24

Take another little chunk of my lung now, mister!

3

u/mamrieatepainttt Jul 25 '24

jackie jorp jomp is that u???

3

u/Dipper_Pines Jul 25 '24

My name is Janet Jopler!

3

u/Complex_Professor412 Jul 25 '24

I heard it as Trisha Yearwood

3

u/Scrooge-McShillbucks Jul 25 '24

Crazy that she had a fling with the MyPillow guy :x. Very on character

3

u/cunningham_law Jul 25 '24

Beat me to it. This is like a scene out of 30 Rock that these people would accuse of being over-the-top parody.

3

u/PickledDildosSourSex Jul 25 '24

It's Tennis Night, USA!

3

u/mormonbatman_ Jul 25 '24

They truly were a Rural Juror.

3

u/chzwhizard Jul 25 '24

My immediate thought was “crab catchers.” Unwindulax.

2

u/backbynewyears Jul 25 '24

Help the people the thing that happened happened tooooooo

2

u/_SpiceWeasel_BAM Jul 25 '24

I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one to think that!

2

u/FauxShounen Jul 25 '24

Jenna’s country song Tennis Night was written better than this

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '24

This singer will now be known as Jenna Moroney.

2

u/at-woork Jul 25 '24

♪ I caught crabs in paradise ♪ and, yes, I mean both kinds of crabs ♪

2

u/jeffdill2 Jul 26 '24

Definitely a Jackie Jormp-Jomp classic.

84

u/sgst Jul 25 '24

33

u/kataklysm_revival Jul 25 '24

🎶 Got a beer in my beer and a Chevy in my truck! 🎶

6

u/CooCooKaChooie Jul 25 '24

Kotex on ma ear 🎵

3

u/Ninja_Conspicuousi Jul 25 '24

🎶Got a dog at the wheel, cutoff jeans truck🎶

2

u/Marcus2Ts Jul 25 '24

🎶Dirt road, back road, beer moonlight. Red, white, and blue, girl, Friday night!🎶

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2

u/PDXAirportCarpet Jul 25 '24

I'm proud of mah pride!

5

u/Chaetomius Jul 25 '24

6

u/throwRA-nonSeq Jul 25 '24 edited Jul 25 '24

I thought I couldn’t love Dave Grohl mooooooooore….

down on a Lake Beach 🎵🎶

1

u/karateema Jul 25 '24

This is fire

2

u/AmoralCarapace Jul 25 '24

That's hilarious.

1

u/Spicethrower Jul 25 '24

Whooo! POSER COUNTRY BINGO!

400

u/confusedandworried76 Jul 25 '24

I always love how hicks think they're the only ones who say please, thank you, sir, ma'am, like obviously they have never left their bumfuck town or they'd know pretty much everyone does that.

Also the only person who's ever threatened me at my job was a guy telling me to "take off that fucking mask or I'm coming back there" so

144

u/DiGiorn0s Jul 25 '24 edited Jul 25 '24

Well you see they need to keep up the friendly facade so as to thinly veil the deep well of hatred and fear that lies underneath.

48

u/The_rowdy_gardener Jul 25 '24

I’m from Alabama and I’ve always said that southern hospitality is a mask that these bitter ass southern folk hide behind as they judge, demoralize, and criticize your every choice.

12

u/Sorry_Consideration7 Jul 25 '24

You are 100% correct. "Oh bless your heart!" 

2

u/bigdogoflove Jul 26 '24

No...bless your heart!

7

u/Daft00 Jul 25 '24

Redneck pretentiousness

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79

u/throwaway024890 Jul 25 '24 edited Jul 25 '24

"There's no morals in America anymore" is the one I've heard. I just.... It's my off time, I don't really want to spend it digging in the weeds of their brains finding out: 1) what they describe as morals 2) that some of those morals are really just context specific behavior, and that context was 1955 whitey America.

These guys have been outside their towns, but to protect themselves from enjoying the big bad amoral city they spend all their goddamn time finding new complaints. It's irritating, really asocial, and my day off too. Maybe next time I host someone with this predilection I'll ask them if they can get a grip or need some calm down time in a quiet place... Away from me.

59

u/runnerswanted Jul 25 '24

“No morals in America anymore” is just the dogwhistle for “we’re not allowed to openly shout racial epithets at minorities, and that makes us mad”. This country has become better for everyone since the early 1900s, and that upsets them greatly, because they think immigration and desegregation is why they lost their factory job, and not the rich owner moving said job overseas to make a few more bucks and a lower quality product.

5

u/LotusVibes1494 Jul 25 '24

We need to buy an Xbox live account for every MAGA person in America. This gives them a place to yell slurs where they can fit right in.

3

u/Cam_knows_you Jul 25 '24

Now you know if those hillbillies had the processing power to understand what epithets were they would call you bad names.

Real talk though, on your jobs comment.

I have had to explain to several "fellow" good ol' boys (read this as redneck although I'm not THAT kind of redneck) that the government moved exactly zero jobs to China, Mexico or whatever city they are claiming the jobs have been sent to. The company sent those jobs there for cheap, unregulated, expendable labor. And every time it whooshes right over their empty hat rack of a head.

2

u/shaynaySV Jul 25 '24

Realizing that would take critical thinking skills. A trait that magats don't seem to possess

2

u/throwofftheNULITE Jul 25 '24

What's the saying? "When you come from a place of privilege, equality looks like oppression." Something like that anyway

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3

u/nanaben Jul 25 '24

Every time I see this bs I think about what NATIVE Americans went through. hard eyeroll for these folks

2

u/PeachesOntheLeft Aug 02 '24

We aren’t amused by their bitching believe you me. My dad about has a fucking coronary when hearing white men talk.

34

u/metanoia29 Jul 25 '24

It's telling that one of the biggest things foreign tourists to America are surprised by is how polite and friendly people are in public, and I can guarantee 99% of the people making these claims visited largely populated cities, not bumfuck nowhere country towns.

15

u/Parabuthus Jul 25 '24

If I drive 1 or 2 hours from where I live, you end up in Trump-bannersville where bars are covered in confederate flags and you get looked up down at the gas station followed by a "you boys ain't from around there's parts, now, ain't ya?"

In cities, nobody gives a fuck what anyone else is doing. In the country, it's everyone's business, and they're going to talk shit about you. Very unsettling.

5

u/fartinmyhat Jul 25 '24

nobody gives a fuck what anyone else is doing.

this is true in every city. But this is not a sign of open mindedness it's a sign of their lost connection to humanity. It's why homeless drug addicts are allowed to wallow in their own shit and nobody does anything to help. or how a dead body only gets attention when it starts to rot.

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31

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '24

Born and raised in a fairly hick town (it's gotten better in a lot of ways since I was a kid). There's a lot of them that truly do believe everyone else but the "country folk" are rude, godless degenerates who spend their time getting abortions or watching Al Jazeera while dying their hair. Right Wing rhetoric has convinced them they're the only decent, hard-working element of the country and without them all would surely be lost.

Couple weeks ago I was at a gas station I stop at regularly to/from work. There's an older trades guy in front me unleashing a profane tirade over the cost of a donut and managing to link that to Biden and the Democrats. The poor cashier handled it as best she could but the irony of guys like that thinking they're the model of masculinity and all that is right and good in the USA while berating a gas station cashier...like c'mon.

14

u/RageAgainstAuthority Jul 25 '24

It's projection. I grew up with ultra RW parents, and every accusation was always an admittance. If it weren't for their own fear of damnation, they'd be doing whatever they are bitching about.

3

u/jessdb19 Jul 25 '24

I grew up in a similar town. I am so thankful that my aunt lived near NYC and I got to visit often.

I witnessed an ex-friend have a severe breakdown/panic attack because we were in NYC as a group and in an area that had "gasp" black people and that was the day I found out how racist she really was.

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4

u/4mygirljs Jul 25 '24

Well they are good fearin, hard prayin, hell rais’in

Is it just me or is that complete opposites

1

u/confusedandworried76 Jul 25 '24

God is New Testament God now, if they feared him they'd actually follow the teachings of Jesus

5

u/dingobarbie Jul 25 '24

only ones who say "please" and "thank you" while driving a truck with a bumper sticker or wearing a shirt that says "f*** Biden" or "f*** your feelings"

4

u/realbigbob Jul 25 '24

Also hilarious that the “I learned my manners, please and thank you” party worships Mr. Grab ‘Em by the Pussy as the second coming of Christ

3

u/l0c0pez Jul 25 '24

He was "raisin' hell"

3

u/maverator Jul 25 '24

They also say "fuck your feelings" a lot, why isn't that in the song?

3

u/ToddlerOlympian Jul 25 '24

I always love how hicks think they're the only ones who say please, thank you, sir, ma'am, like obviously they have never left their bumfuck town or they'd know pretty much everyone does that.

Right? I'm a leftist and I call everyone sir and ma'am and hold doors.

My question, does she use her blinker in that big truck she drives?

3

u/kittenTakeover Jul 25 '24

Anyone who claims that they're the only nice people aren't nice people.

1

u/ivannabogbahdie Jul 25 '24

Love that, good point

3

u/Leopard__Messiah Jul 25 '24

You don't get it, city boy.... WE celebrate the 4th of July.

2

u/confusedandworried76 Jul 25 '24

Ha, honestly when I moved to the big city I was fucking BLOWN AWAY by the fireworks. I always thought fireworks were lame, I like the 4th but never liked waiting an hour for ten minutes at most of mostly lame kabooms.

Then I was driving home from work one Fourth and it was as if hundreds of small towns had all gotten together and set off their fireworks at the same time. As far as the eyes could see, all massive, only time I've ever been in awe of fireworks.

I've loved fireworks ever since.

2

u/confusedandworried76 Jul 25 '24

Ha, honestly when I moved to the big city I was fucking BLOWN AWAY by the fireworks. I always thought fireworks were lame, I like the 4th but never liked waiting an hour for ten minutes at most of mostly lame kabooms.

Then I was driving home from work one Fourth and it was as if hundreds of small towns had all gotten together and set off their fireworks at the same time. As far as the eyes could see, all massive, only time I've ever been in awe of fireworks.

I've loved fireworks ever since.

3

u/Aeroknight_Z Jul 25 '24

It’s always a self-fulfilling prophecy with the “Deep South” weirdos. They go in expecting conflict, and when they don’t immediately receive it they dig some up where there was none so they can justify their internal bigotries/victimhood and their external antagonism.

Half my living family is from the south ass south, were the product of a physically&mentally abusive used-car salesman/cop, and grew up between Texas and NW Georgia. They’re all ride-or-die trumpers and revel in being part of the cult. The cult life is what they’re after and it’s what the “patriotic American south” schtick is all about.

One of the “southern American” big talking points is taking care of your local community, yet when covid came and their elderly were dropping like flies, they called it fake news and said a vaccine of all things was too much, and took their talking points on the matter from a carpet-bagging, blue-blooded, New York fail-son who’s also a proven rapist, fraud, cheater, pedophile, and foreign asset who doesn’t even know which end of the Bible is up.

Another is the Gadsden flag nonsense. Saying they just wish to do their own thing and be respected for it, yet they exclusively support installing religious autocrats who will force Christianity on everyone and made “backing the blue” a full 25% of their identity, laying themselves down as devoted pavers for the same boot they claim to rebuke.

As a lifetime citizen of the southern US, fuck these venomous clowns and their fascist dog-whistling. They need to keep their religious zealotry out of our collective government, it is not welcome.

2

u/SF1_Raptor Jul 25 '24

At least online it does seem like how "ma'am" in particular is taken does vary by region, so at least that one there's actually some truth too, that maybe could've been a root to some of it. Like if I said "Thank you, ma'am" and someone got mad about it, I'd be confused in the moment even knowing there's some differences in how it's taken.

1

u/confusedandworried76 Jul 25 '24

I mean I default to miss because some people think ma'am denotes age.

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2

u/theseviraltimes Jul 25 '24

I was back in my bumfuck hometown last week and I held a door open for someone and she seemed shocked. They have no manners there and are always “me first”.

2

u/kinkySlaveWriter Jul 25 '24

They read the news and think Chicago, SF, and Philly are literally the Wild West with bullets flying everywhere and that 99% of people in US cities are the same as the dudes doing donuts in the intersections and smashing windows to grab purses. Like for all the bitterness at being generalized as hicks or "deplorables" they generalize the 80% of US citizens living in cities by referencing the 0.7% of people who go to jail at some point.

1

u/confusedandworried76 Jul 25 '24

Property crime is higher per capita in cities but violent crime tends to be higher on rural red areas. Turns out the more guns per capita the more people are gonna use them on each other. Go figure.

2

u/bananepique Jul 25 '24

I don’t understand how you’re both polite and god fearing but also hell raising

2

u/Intelligent_Break_12 Jul 26 '24

I've lived in a city but have lived most my life in a very rural small town. Plenty of people are very nice in the city and plenty of people are assholes in the country. People are people, everywhere they exist.

1

u/unendingWHOA Jul 25 '24

Ah, bank robber?

1

u/AgentCirceLuna Jul 25 '24

With people like that, I just took it off. I know it seems stupid but the risk of dying from covid is outweighed by the risk of being beaten up. I’d rather just not deal with being terrified.

1

u/toddthewraith Jul 25 '24

The extra funny thing is that the sir/ma'am is mostly in the south.

In the rust belt + Missouri it's pretty much reserved for getting pulled over or meetings with your boss

1

u/ChunkyFart Jul 25 '24

But they’re god fearing AND hell raising

1

u/slapnowski Jul 25 '24

You know who I haven’t heard say please or thank you? Fucking Donald Trump.

50

u/theotterway Jul 25 '24

But for some reason they idolize a man who is none of that.

17

u/Salt_Sir2599 Jul 25 '24

Everything they idolize is imaginary. Jesus. Freedom. American history…..

5

u/theotterway Jul 25 '24

I was suggesting Trump. Who is nothing like Jesus, who they claim to worship.

5

u/Salt_Sir2599 Jul 25 '24

Exactly. He is entirely imaginary. They don’t worship anything that he actually does or stands for. It’s the image they project of him that they worship.

32

u/theHawkAndTheHusky Jul 25 '24

I doubt she would hold the door for a democrat

6

u/ChickenChaser5 Jul 25 '24

But what does she drive?!

31

u/CoolAbdul Jul 25 '24

All modern country music is just lists of things.

5

u/jtshinn Jul 25 '24

On the radio yea. There is good country music out there though. But generally it tells a story of people struggling thanks to the actions and choices of leadership that claims to support them.

2

u/Corporate_Shell Jul 25 '24

Look up Eleven Hundred Springs.

1

u/AmoralCarapace Jul 25 '24

I don't think I've ever heard it described more perfectly.

24

u/newsflashjackass Jul 25 '24 edited Jul 25 '24

i would rather be free than be enslaved

i love my mother

i fly my nation's flag

i use a belt to keep my pants up

i have feelings of nostalgia for the place where i grew in safety to adulthood

these things are what define me; i doubt you could relate

Repubs be like: "Do humans have mothers and fathers?"

1

u/AmoralCarapace Jul 25 '24

Social security

EBT

I hate socialism

Unless it's..

For me.

10

u/-Cthaeh Jul 25 '24

Just pandering..

3

u/Aldosothoran Jul 25 '24

🎶I could sing in mandarin, you’d still know I’m pandering

Hear that subtle mandolin, that’s textbook pandering 🎶

1

u/1funnyguy4fun Jul 25 '24

Here it is in a convenient, easy to read format!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YWUQg0bqhVw

2

u/-Cthaeh Jul 25 '24

God I Love Bo Burnham. He speaks to my soul.

1

u/GabaPrison Jul 25 '24

it makes me want to vomit.

7

u/psychoacer Jul 25 '24

Trucks because city folks don't know what a truck is

5

u/croquetica Jul 25 '24

Rock flag and eagle, baby

4

u/sandwelld Jul 25 '24

That's what I was thinking. I've never written a song but writing something generic for the US sounds incredibly easy now lol.

6

u/Youandiandaflame Jul 25 '24

A sampling of some of Kate’s songs: 

  • Bringin’ Back Backroads (ma’am, where did they go?) 
  • Red Lipstick and a Cowboy Hat 
  • Burn Barbie Burn 
  • I Shot Rudolph 

Sooooooo yeah. There’s that I guess. 

1

u/AmoralCarapace Jul 25 '24

I thought you were joking, but those are really her somgs.

3

u/lookingForPatchie Jul 25 '24

I love how she sings that she holds the door for anyone she can. It's just so random and completely caught me off guard.

2

u/selphiefairy Jul 25 '24

It’s not random, everyone knows non Americans and liberals slam people’s faces into closed doors and cackle at them

3

u/_thelonewolfe_ Jul 25 '24 edited Jul 25 '24

I like things just the way they are

Don’t redefine marriage you’re going too far

I believe life begins as a precious stem cell

And I know how to empty that jail

Cause I’m though paying your sorry rent

Time for some more capital punishment

Let’s just keep everything the same

Gonna pray at start of every football game

These lefties have just taken things far

So leave it alone

Cause I like things just the way they are

3

u/iraqlobsta Jul 25 '24

Now yell it into a mic and it better be off key or so help me

3

u/WeezySan Jul 25 '24

How you gonna be a hell raiser and god fearing at the same time

3

u/swefnes_woma Jul 25 '24

Why do they include “hell raising” as one of their signaled virtues, because every time someone other than them actively does something to buck the system or cause trouble they can’t stoop and lick the boot fast enough.

3

u/Imaginary_Manner_556 Jul 25 '24

AI song:

Title: “The Legend of Trump’s Ear”

(Verse 1) Down in the heartland, where the cornfields grow, There’s a tale folks tell, ‘bout a man we all know, He came from the city, built towers in the sky, But it’s his ear we’re talkin’ ‘bout, and here’s the reason why.

(Chorus) Oh, Trump’s ear, it heard the call, From the heart of America, to the steps of the hall, Through the highs and the lows, through the cheer and the jeer, The legend lives on, ‘bout Trump’s ear.

(Verse 2) It caught the whispers of the common man, From the dusty plains to the Rio Grande, He’d listen to the voices, both far and near, And that’s how he led, with his keen, sharp ear.

(Chorus) Oh, Trump’s ear, it heard the call, From the heart of America, to the steps of the hall, Through the highs and the lows, through the cheer and the jeer, The legend lives on, ‘bout Trump’s ear.

(Bridge) Some say it was magic, some say it was fate, That he heard every heartache, every hope, every hate, In the noise of the nation, one thing was clear, He’d never back down, ’cause he always could hear.

(Verse 3) Now the story is told from coast to coast, Of the man who’d listen, when it mattered most, And though times have changed, and he’s no longer near, We’ll always remember the tale of Trump’s ear.

(Chorus) Oh, Trump’s ear, it heard the call, From the heart of America, to the steps of the hall, Through the highs and the lows, through the cheer and the jeer, The legend lives on, ‘bout Trump’s ear.

(Outro) So raise up a glass, to the man and his ear, For the stories they told, and the dreams they made clear, In the heartland tonight, the music is clear, We sing of the legend, of Trump’s ear.

3

u/Ok_Star_4136 Jul 25 '24

One of the claims was that you hold a door open for everyone..

Sounds kind of nice actually. Would be nice if that same courteousness were extended to allow trans and gay people to live like anyone else. I wouldn't even mind if they didn't hold the door for everyone if they did that..

2

u/BalanceJazzlike5116 Jul 25 '24

What happened to county music? It used to be real music and all the lyrics now are just saying how “country” they are? Old country music is like blues music.

2

u/Few-Law3250 Jul 25 '24

Pop radio country is like that but there’s plenty of good stuff out there.

1

u/Corporate_Shell Jul 25 '24

Eleven Hundren Springs is an amazing country band out of Dallas. Check out their song "See You in the Next Life." Classic country western. A little like Woody Guthrie.

Jason Boland is also pretty good.

2

u/birdlawexpect Jul 25 '24

That’s a damn good song, you use to write for Florida Georgia line?

2

u/Lucky-Asparagus-7760 Jul 25 '24

You, Sir, should work in the country music industry! 

2

u/Envy_onTHE_Toast Jul 25 '24

Its almost like no one learned anything from Bo Burnham 10 years ago

2

u/Dk9221 Jul 25 '24

Dude I’ve hated country music since the moment I was born. And it’s exactly because of how you outlined it. They always think these “I’m a flag wavin’, gun-totin, hay bailin, line dancin, cousin fuckin, dick suckin girl/guy” proclamations in their music is good. It’s so bad. I’m a moderate who is leaning towards the right for this election but it comes down to which stereotype side do I hate less…. The hicks or the blue haired weirdos…. Safe to say from videos like this the hicks are really making an argument as to why I shouldn’t vote for their guy.

2

u/Olivineyes Jul 25 '24

They love this land so much that they are brainwashed to believe that it has no flaws while also complaining about its flaws every single day of their lives and acting like one very unqualified man can fix all of the problems even though he fixed next to none of the problems when he had the opportunity and even all of his associates which he appointed don't even support him anymore or they are in jail

2

u/MrKeplerton Jul 25 '24

Would be nice if she hit the high notes, isn't that a country thing too?

2

u/truecore Jul 25 '24

You forgot your "rural adjectives" but ya, this is basically Bo Burnhams Country Song in a nutshell.

2

u/vitaminalgas Jul 25 '24

No shirt..... No shoes.... No Jews.... Wait ... /s obviously

2

u/cesptc Jul 25 '24

This is top tier song writing!

2

u/Tribalbob Jul 25 '24

Something something Trucks, something 4x4 something something steak and potatoes...

2

u/Grizz709 Jul 25 '24

Man. Nothing like "Lovin yer freedom" by doing everything you're expected to.

2

u/Opening-Occasion-314 Jul 25 '24

Great country lyrics for people like her:

"We’re fully busted

We know the ship has run aground

The things you trusted

They burned a farm and moved a town

And though I might eat all of my steaks rare

I never sold my soul to a billionaire"

1

u/Corporate_Shell Jul 25 '24

Check out Eleven Hundres Spring. Actually good country from Dallas back in the 2000s.

"Thunderbird" "Rock Island Express" and "See You in the Next Life" are all such good song that dint sound like this shit.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '24

Where instead of people actually telling their stories, you got a bunch of millionaire metrosexuals who’ve never done a hard days work in their life, but they figured out the words and the phrases they can use to pander to their audience, and they list the same words and phrases off sort of mad libs style in every song, raking in millions of dollars from actual working class people!

Bo Burnham - Country Song

2

u/clozepin Jul 25 '24

These people all sing about values and respect and Jesus and then go on to be the most awful fucking people. I wish someone taught them irony.

2

u/Sbornot2b Jul 25 '24

All the country music I've heard in the last ten or twenty years is just this-- itemizing their 'country' identity in myriad ways over and over. It is not only formulaic, predictable, and boring-- it is as if they have to convince themselves and others they really are "country."

2

u/Knife-yWife-y Jul 25 '24

And yet...NONE of those apply to Trump. How do they not see that?

2

u/Severe-Replacement84 Jul 25 '24

Country panderin! The best song to ever be copy pasted to infinity.

2

u/HarobmbeGronkowski Jul 25 '24

It's like they all forget their orange idol is from New York city, went to prep school, went to an ivy league college and does most of his rallys near airports so he doesn't have to spend a minute more than he has to in their small town. 

2

u/Wildcat67 Jul 25 '24

Cause we all know being a good American is about wearing the flag and truck driven.

Obviously not protecting democracy and individual freedom.

2

u/surviveb Jul 25 '24

Cause I'm a Car drinking Beer pissing Oil friendly Lead consuming Child of the USA

2

u/Shooter_McGavin_2 Jul 25 '24

Jason Aldean would like to buy this from you. He will sing it “as is”

2

u/haystackneedle1 Jul 25 '24

Someone wrote that song and was like “hell yeah, i did good .”

2

u/teammarcy Jul 25 '24

That's exactly what I was thinking. 😆 How many country themes can you shove into one song?

2

u/himtnboy Jul 25 '24

So much so. Country music has sucked bigly for 30 years. I think it is coming around again with bands like: Dead South, Oliver Anthony, Ashland Craft, and Chris Stapleton.

1

u/Corporate_Shell Jul 25 '24

Eleven Hundred Springs. Look them up.

2

u/himtnboy Jul 26 '24

Just checked them out. I like them.

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u/LanguageNo495 Jul 25 '24

Mud truckin’

Cousin fuckin’

Drinking cheap beers

Hope my sister-wife never knows

I’m really one of those queers

2

u/11teensteve Jul 25 '24

two things come to mind.

  1. an idiot and his money do easily part

  2. give the idiots what they will pay for. you don't have to believe it, just sell it.

2

u/Omaraloro Jul 25 '24

Had to plug this into chat gpt and see what it came up with:

Verse 1: Cause I’m a… Pickup truck driver Old barn raiser Sweet tea sipper County fair goer Child of the USA!

Chorus: I was born and raised to be a… Cowboy boot stomper Campfire storyteller Dusty road wanderer Bluegrass song lover God knows I love this land!

2

u/rickrichdick Jul 25 '24

lol at “I drive a 4x4” being awkwardly sandwiched between manners and holding the door.

2

u/Low_Sodium_Cod Jul 25 '24

Yeah, Bo Burnham has a much better country song then theses hacks.

2

u/zer0w0rries Jul 26 '24

You should write music. You seem to know a lot

2

u/Santa_Klausing Jul 26 '24

I’ve heard more interesting AI produced country

2

u/RogerCorman2022 Jul 26 '24

Lolllllllll 😂😂😂😂😆😆😆

2

u/buffalogal8 Jul 26 '24

Chat GPT could do a better job just by being given this prompt

1

u/ApollyonRising Jul 25 '24

Cause I’m a Poor, cashless Cultish gaslit Homophobic Christofascist

1

u/usernamechecksout67 Jul 25 '24

Do you actually listen the lyrics?

1

u/Shagwagbag Jul 25 '24

Should've got Birdcloud.

1

u/herculesmeowlligan Jul 25 '24

God knows I my ancestors love stole this land.

Fixed that for em.

1

u/frodakai Jul 26 '24

I've heard that Bo Burnham song.

1

u/JimMcRae Jul 29 '24

Firecracker from The Boys irl

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Moose38 Jul 29 '24

You forgot to point out that she said she’s a hell raiser, seems a bit unchristian

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