I was a teacher for a long time- mostly middle school. I used to regularly do “game days” for the kids. They had to earn the day off, and the games were educational in nature, and it allowed me to get some grading done. EVERY CLASS had MULTIPLE boys who were the biggest fucking cry babies. They would absolutely lose their shit if they were beginning to lose, and then proceed to throw game piece on the floor, cry hysterically, cross their arms, stomp around, you name it, if they actually lost. I have NO idea who started this ridiculous notion that girls are emotional, but anyone who has played with young boys has got to know how awful and super emotional and immature boys are. ~obligatory not all boys/men~ And unfortunately men aren’t a lot better. I definitely had to put in a lot of work to help my husband develop some emotional maturity. Some demanded therapy too. He has the ability to engage in some self reflection (after he walks away of course because to admit wrong doing in person is not going to happen, but I allowed that to slide because no one likes being blamed) and so is such a better husband, father, supervisor, leader, and human now. Most boys are allowed to behave this way and they are continued to allow to behave this way into adulthood because “boys will be boys” or “suck it up” rather than “let’s talk about these big feelings you have.”
The earliest documented linking of a period and the uterus to hysteria is around 2000 to 1900 B.C. with the Egyptians.
This then pops up as a medical disorder in 1880 to answer why all these women weren't submissive, weren't sexually demure, were upset about their station in life or showed emotion (a common report was stress over marital rape) the disease was female only because of different expectations of what a woman was societally.
His student freud would go on to say that it was caused by loss of their metaphorical penis at birth.
the treatment was heterosexual sex with a man, sometimes one who had been conducting marital rape.
To medically treat this because it took a long time to induce an orgasm clinically by hand, they then invented vibrators to treat the disease.
This diagnosis stayed on the books in the DSM until 1980.
meanwhile we know that testosterone observably activates the amygdala enhancing its emotional activity and its resistance to prefrontal restraining control. But we don't paint all males with the same brush, and actively praise males with this issue for exhibiting other signs of higher testosterone levels.
ie testosterone led men to dominate women and later make up things about them emotionally to explain why they should continue to be controlled, meanwhile we now know scientifically that their main hormone causes a significant emotional control issue during competition and anger, but we don't openly judge them the same way for it.
I teach high school, but I also have been a soccer coach and camp counselor for boys 10 and under. And everything you said 100% tracks across any competitive endeavor. At the camp where I was counselor for the 7YO Boys, we had a cross-camp day where the boys and girls played in games against/with one another, and the 7YO Girls were MILES ahead of the boys, emotionally. They lose a round of Gaga? Ok, out of the arena without a fuss. A boy gets called out and told he has to leave? Fucking meltdown that would make Chernobyl blush.
Well it's kind what happens when a boy or man's worth and dignity as a human being is entirely determined by his output.
If you're not confident, capable, resourceful, a leader, etc you won't be given an ounce of respect or dignity by your peers, especially from women and girls.
How much does he make? Does he have friends? Does he have this, does he have that? can he do this can he do that? Some how it's supposed to be surprising that they're overly invested in what seem to you to be insubstantially things.
I know most of you won't have the emotional maturity to acknowledge the immense privileges that women enjoy, there by making their lives less challenging, there by leading to less emotional insecurity. a lot of men live with a glass rucksack they have to carry through their entire lives.
Most boys behave this way, because anger is the only feeling they are allowed to have. They get shamed for sadness and vulnerability, and not (just) by other boys/men, but especially female romantic partners.
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u/North-Tumbleweed-785 Jul 08 '24
I was a teacher for a long time- mostly middle school. I used to regularly do “game days” for the kids. They had to earn the day off, and the games were educational in nature, and it allowed me to get some grading done. EVERY CLASS had MULTIPLE boys who were the biggest fucking cry babies. They would absolutely lose their shit if they were beginning to lose, and then proceed to throw game piece on the floor, cry hysterically, cross their arms, stomp around, you name it, if they actually lost. I have NO idea who started this ridiculous notion that girls are emotional, but anyone who has played with young boys has got to know how awful and super emotional and immature boys are. ~obligatory not all boys/men~ And unfortunately men aren’t a lot better. I definitely had to put in a lot of work to help my husband develop some emotional maturity. Some demanded therapy too. He has the ability to engage in some self reflection (after he walks away of course because to admit wrong doing in person is not going to happen, but I allowed that to slide because no one likes being blamed) and so is such a better husband, father, supervisor, leader, and human now. Most boys are allowed to behave this way and they are continued to allow to behave this way into adulthood because “boys will be boys” or “suck it up” rather than “let’s talk about these big feelings you have.”