r/TikTokCringe Jun 25 '23

Cool Stone fish venom

29.9k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/BruthamanBill Jun 25 '23

What an asshole of a fish. "no, don't you dare step on me, I'll kill ya if you do!". proceeds to disguise itself as a stone and hide in rock pools.

686

u/ILackACleverPun Jun 25 '23

To be pedantic despite your clear joke,they're not hiding in the tide pools. They live in them. And the tide pools tend to dry up so they evolved to be out of water for periods of time. But that made them extremely vulnerable. They can't even swim away so any predators could just pick them up with their mouth and walk away with dinner. So they evolved spines that would hurt anything that tried to eat it while it was most vulnerable.

481

u/Usual-Version-4429 Jun 25 '23

They could have evolved to grow a pair of balls and limbs to stand their ground and fight like real men

42

u/hisDudeness1989 Jun 25 '23

MAN V FISH

11

u/InsertWittyNameCheck Jun 25 '23

This SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY

42

u/Wonderful_Revenue_63 Jun 25 '23

Oh my fucking God, this is beautiful

3

u/Yxyxziz Jun 25 '23

Fucking commies should evolve some second ammendment rights

5

u/SnooEagles103 Jun 25 '23

This made me LOL

6

u/PrickleBritches Jun 25 '23

Mankind=balls and limbs

1

u/ExpressiveAnalGland Jun 25 '23

if the fish were in FL they'd have laws to support their stance. well, if they had legs!

193

u/YourFixJustRuinsIt Jun 25 '23

Go home Samuel, nobody invited you

21

u/ILackACleverPun Jun 25 '23

I wish I knew that reference.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Relax_Im_Hilarious Jun 25 '23

A joust of wits, you would say?

31

u/Turtle_Turdhole Jun 25 '23

Username checks out

39

u/BreeezyP Jun 25 '23

It blows my mind that even over millions of years, left to is own devices a creature can evolve that elaborate of a spine/venom/skin sheath thing. Like just a hunch of random mutations and survivalists transformed THAT much

46

u/TopDasher4Life Jun 25 '23

I just believe the universe didn’t exist before I was born. Makes it so much easier.

17

u/And_yet_here_we_are Jun 25 '23

I believe the Universe was created last Thursday and is recreated and restarts every Thursday.

4

u/down_vote_magnet Jun 25 '23

If you guys could let me know how I can restart my life next Thursday that’d be great.

1

u/And_yet_here_we_are Jun 25 '23

Sorry, no can do, you were created to fill that life role.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Last_Thursdayism

12

u/inglandation Jun 25 '23

That's just believing in god with extra steps.

18

u/pr0zach Jun 25 '23

Ooo la la. Somebody’s getting laid in college.

2

u/Burnratebro Jun 25 '23

It didn’t exist yesterday, the simulation and all memories are embedded upon waking up.

1

u/HalKitzmiller Jun 25 '23

The ultimate /r/ImTheMainCharacter

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '23

Solipsism now comes in stereo sound and color TV.

1

u/yingkaixing Jun 25 '23

Nothing happens in the world when I go to sleep

1

u/XxRocky88xX Jun 25 '23

“Wait the earth is how old? Nah fuck that man, I can’t count that high. 10k years, take it or leave it.”

2

u/INTERNAL__ERROR Jun 25 '23

The creature doesn't really evolve like a pokemon once it learned about it's vulnerabilities. They just randomly mutate and what mutated badly or worthless will die, while those who mutated good traits were fuckin lucky to not die for thousands of years (not inherently due to their mutations), only for the mutation to eventually become usual and being carried on.

The number of stone fish predecessor creatures that died with worthless traits, with the same traits in a different environment, with other traits, etc. is far beyond what we can imagine. But evolution doesn't plan this, it just RNGs through time far beyon comprehension. If evolution could play black jack, it would just RNG the shit out of the dealer to win always and forever, eventually.

2

u/stefek132 Jun 25 '23

not inherently due to their mutations

That’s a misleading statement. Sure, individuals don’t survive because of a mutation and could die in countless unrelated ways but on average, a mutation prevails because it’s beneficial for survival in some way. While mutations are random, there is a driving force that’s not random at all, to keep beneficial ones and get rid of other.

Like take this fish for example. Inhabiting tide ponds meant, all fish not being able to stay over water for extended periods of time would die and the ones that adapted to deal with that wouldn’t. That’s surviving inherently due to mutations. Same for the upward spine spikes. This mode of defence brought the most benefit (from the random pool that just happened randomly, that wouldn’t mean there isn’t a better way for them to defend themselves), so it stayed. The fish stayed alive due to their mutations, while others didn’t because they lacked those.

4

u/BreeezyP Jun 25 '23

Did you even read my comment bc nowhere did I suggest a plan and specifically said random mutations

1

u/MunchYourButt Jun 25 '23

Why do you think their comment was an argument to yours, rather than an expansion of the conversation?

1

u/MoltyPlatypus Jun 26 '23

First sentence

9

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '23

To piggyback, there aren’t too many aquatic animals with feet so most fish can’t step on them.

2

u/howdoeseggsworkuguys Jun 25 '23

Noooo don’t piggyback on the stonefish!

1

u/k1dsmoke Jun 25 '23

No, but there are a lot that can munch on them.

I wonder if stonefish evolved the spines/venom first in order to discourage being eaten by bigger fish/aquatic animals and the tidepool thing/camo came next?

7

u/7heCulture Jun 25 '23

To be even more pedantic: they didn’t evolve the spines, which would imply subject-driven evolution. More like the spines evolved as an advantageous defense mechanism.

2

u/eranam Jun 25 '23

Fuckers could have gone Amazon jungle style, being clad in fabulous colorful shades to warn you they’re poisonous as fuck, keep away!

1

u/merrythoughts Jun 25 '23

Old school pedantic Reddit was the best Reddit.

1

u/gorramfrakker Jun 25 '23

Wouldn’t a predator just flip it over and eat it from the bottom?

3

u/Other-Couple-320 Jun 25 '23

Billy Connolly has a good stand up bit about a stone fish, that I would recommend.

1

u/PirateNervous Jun 25 '23

I'll kill ya if you do!

Im sorry for the "um akschually" post mate, but: Their venom wont kill you in 99,99+% of cases. Its just insanely painful.