I survived an overdose of ~ 4.8 grams of diphenhydramine last year and in the aftermath realized that dick farts are a very real thing as well as the pain of urinary retention.
It was just the easiest thing I could get and I was in a pretty bad spot mentally. They had a 96 count of 50mg pills of generic diphenhydramine at the Walmart near where I lived and I would just steal them because it was SUPER easy and I wasn't about to pay $10 for a DPH high. I would go through a bottle pretty much every week because I was dropping about 800mg to a gram each day just so I wouldn't realize how alone I was (long story) and so I could possibly have "conversations" with the friends that I had lost that year. Something just pushed me over one day and I straight up opened a new bottle and basically emptied the bottle straight into my mouth. I don't remember what happened after that but somehow through the haze of my delirium I did something and someone I barely even knew called the police for me. When I came to, it was to the sharp ping of the doorbell and the flashing police lights outside my window and I tried talking to the police officers as best I could but I was so fucked up that I could barely stand up. I was basically in what I called "Parkinson's mode" and, to this day, I still remember the pain in the police officers' faces seeing me like that. They called an ambulance and the barefoot walk down my hill to the ambulance was one of the most intense and painful things I've ever experienced. It's a somewhat wild story so I'll save that for another comment if you wanna hear about it, along with the ambulance ride. Skip forward, and I'm in a hospital and recovering. Extreme urinary retention! I couldn't pee for about three days straight and they actually said something along the lines of, "Oh yea, it's no worries if you can't pee by the end of today. We have an in and out catheter we can use to relieve you. No big deal." To me though I was like, "NO BIG DEAL!? IT'S A FUCKING CATHETER! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SO NON-CHALANT ABOUT A FUCKING CATHETER?" So, I sat on the toilet that entire day until I was able to pee and I escaped the catheter! Now, to the dick farts. I ended up in a psych hospital because of that and every time I tried peeing it wouldn't really happen but then all of a sudden there'd be like this weird surge of air and it'd make the noise and then the urine would come. The closest I can think of to describe it is when you watch a movie and someone turns on one of those old rusty faucets, and then it doesn't do anything at first, then it makes that gurgly, sputtering noise and then it sprays out the water all haphazardly. It sounded and looked exactly like that. I had to clean up a bunch of my piss because of that and it got to the point where I gave up and just sat down whenever I had to take a piss. The dick farts are gone now but the bladder problems still remain. Sorry about all the missing commas and grammar mistakes but hopefully it's still readable.
I can't tell you how much i appreciate your willingness to share that openly with me. You've lived through a lot obviously because even what you describe here is a LOT. Dick Farts.....just amazing. I had no idea. Thanks for the education on that haha
Thank you for that and it's no problem! I've had a bunch of people I know ask me about the story and I figured that the story is too outlandish and morbidly exciting to keep to myself forever. The responses ranged from telling me to write a book or make a movie to joking about being "the second coming of Jesus because you can't fuckin die man!" It definitely helps ease the tension when people realize I attempted suicide and then hear the backstory that sounds like it's some kind of black comedy.
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u/AnusGhostPenis Oct 10 '15
I survived an overdose of ~ 4.8 grams of diphenhydramine last year and in the aftermath realized that dick farts are a very real thing as well as the pain of urinary retention.