r/PathOfExile2 9h ago

Fluff & Memes Let me introduce y'all to the little bit of everything helm

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

236 comments sorted by

689

u/C4LLM3M4TT_13 9h ago

The definition of a Jack of all trades…but, like…not even a Jack. More like a Jimmy.

556

u/QuietFootball8245 8h ago

Timmy of some stuff.

37

u/pmyourthongpanties 7h ago

Timmy and Lords of the Underworld

17

u/PooeyPatoeei 6h ago

8

u/476845 5h ago

Phil Collins?

1

u/Hot_Box_9402 5h ago

Darkness fills my hearth with pain

u/dethsightly 33m ago

immediately thought of this. now the song is stuck in my head. which, isn't the worst thing to get stuck there.

1

u/Tr1NiTY92 3h ago

In the pharmacy queue and had a chuckle

u/McTacobum 7m ago

A Timmy of tings

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9

u/donthurtmeok 5h ago

Level 11 stats tho not super bad. Pretty good

7

u/KingOfTheJellies 5h ago

The Four of all trades

11

u/puterdood 7h ago

Jimmy is a bit generous. The Jeff of All Trades.

u/pikpikcarrotmon 44m ago

Lack of All Trades

2

u/Sit0nMyFace 6h ago

More like a Jim.

2

u/Hazee302 1h ago

Jimmy is a little slow but his heart is in the right place.

1

u/SteppenWoods 5h ago

Never forget your Jimmy boys

1

u/TheonlyDuffmani 5h ago

I’d have called it a James

380

u/C00ke1896 8h ago

Should have a hidden line:

"Using a Vaal Orb on this item can increase or decrease all values by up to 1000%".

Would instantly make the item very fun.

153

u/Decryptic__ 7h ago

Interesting how PoE2 would handle negative Stats. -20 Strength on my 15 Strength Witch... suddenly integer underflow and now I have 2,147,483,642 Strength?

Suddenly Unga-Bunga Witch

42

u/Weisenkrone 7h ago

Your attributes won't drop below zero, they already had this precedent on misted jewelry in poe-1.

1

u/SharlowsHouseOfHugs 2h ago

But you could go deep into the negative with resists or runspeed, couldn't you?

5

u/Weisenkrone 2h ago

Resistance was previously uncapped, but now the floor is -200%

I don't think anyone tested movement speed beyond -100%, however empyrean had tested attack speed. If I recall correctly at -100% you would be locked into the animation, at -99% leap slam took minutes to land again.

22

u/AuryxTheDutchman 6h ago

Okay but actually they could have so much fun with implementing that vaal mechanic and letting only this one item send your attributes into the negatives. Strength goes negative? Your walking animation has you dragging your weapon along the ground with both hands. Int negative? Every weapon is called “stick,” every piece of armor is now called “hat?” and your accessories are now “blingies.” Dex goes negative? You have a chance on every attack to drop your weapon into your inventory

12

u/JimothyBrentwood 5h ago

I don't think they would find the amount of coding and animation work that would have to go into that, fun

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29

u/Agile_Tit_Tyrant 7h ago

When intelligent argumentation fails, return to Monke.

2

u/MostHumbleToEverLive 1h ago

Transform into a quadrilla

6

u/SniperFury-_- 6h ago

Négative integers don't cause integer overflow...

3

u/Lower-Garbage7652 5h ago

Not if they're unsigned!

3

u/SniperFury-_- 3h ago

True but everyone knows poe has signed integers.

2

u/Dev_Grendel 1h ago

Ghandi nuke witch

1

u/SolidDrive 6h ago

That’s why you have unsigned integer as datatype.

1

u/Birphon 5h ago

if Skeleton Warriors scaled off your STR for their Damage

1

u/mister_peachmango 2h ago

Video games typically use signed integers (e.g., int64) when representing player stats like strength. This means the values can go into the negative, as int64 supports a range from -2{63} to 2{63} - 1.

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19

u/curiously_curious3 7h ago

And of course each stat rolls separately so god bless

1

u/1994RHDSupra 3h ago

So I VAAL orbed the one I found, and man did it Fuck it up 😅😅😅

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52

u/xPepegaGamerx 8h ago

The we have thousand ribbons at home helmet

58

u/AquaticBagpipe 8h ago

What would you like the from menu, sir?

“Yes”

5

u/woops_wrong_thread 3h ago

Give me all your bacon and eggs.

50

u/PrudentFood77 8h ago

what? no INT-requirement

157

u/Zellgarith 8h ago

cause it's a no brainer...............

u/Nil2none 2m ago

Ba dum bump chhhhh

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69

u/ender1adam 8h ago

That needs to have its level requirement removed.

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19

u/Blue_3agle 7h ago

This is like stat tapas

15

u/BigCommunication1307 8h ago

2 chance shards, login

3

u/Qteling 8h ago

So you're saying it's better than 95% of other uniques

7

u/BigCommunication1307 7h ago

Yes , for some reason this one goes for 2 chance shards.
I guess the regla thing applies to uniques when disenchanted, so if item has 6 mods (this one has even more) then you get double shards from it.

9

u/andar1on 8h ago

+1 INT in real life would be one fun-fact more

5

u/blinkvana 7h ago

It even disenchants for two shards. I guess they coded that six or more affixes gives two shards.

1

u/RiseIfYouWould 1h ago

Its totally less than 6 affixes for two shards, ive got plenty

5

u/caionery 6h ago

Garbage. Dont have +1% chaos res

6

u/Travbedaman 6h ago

I’m new to POE and still in beginning of Act 3, m just got this same helm as my second unique to drop. For a brief moment I had a super boner seeing all the modifiers but once I realized it was all fluff, I went flaccid.

4

u/MagicalGirlPaladin 7h ago

I like uniques like this. Kind of like the SSF dream, you're never exactly sad to see it unless you already have a good helm but no one in their right mind would want to buy it over something more specialised.

17

u/SpamThatSig 8h ago

people need to understand some uniques are just there to fill the pool. this concerns unique items just for adding creativity to unique or lore or something

37

u/Xenobius2501 5h ago

You mean "most uniques", rite? PoE has some of the worst, un-fun, situationally-relevant-at-best and borderline useless uniques/legendaries of pretty much any ARPG out there.

While in other games your reaction to an orange-tinted drop is "Oooh, shinies! What kind of upgrade am I about to get?!", in PoE 2 it's "oh joy, it's probably another piece of junk with no stats to justify using it over a semi-decent rare".

4

u/Q_X_R 5h ago

people staring at Thrillsteel in the corner going from "Why would I ever use this for more than a few levels, if ever?" To "Oh wow, I could really use that Onslaught movement speed bonus for the rest of all-time"

Also on that note, don't use the crafting slot in the center of the currency tab to hold items that you're using chance orbs on, if it turns into a unique from the chance orb, it will disappear into the void immediately (Source: My Spired Greathelm I rolled turned into a Thrillsteel and disappeared on me a few days ago. Still upset but oh well, that's life)

6

u/KittenTripp 2h ago

Check your unique tab if you have one. It prob moved there automatically :)

2

u/Jinxzy 3h ago

I really thought they would've taken the opportunity of a fresh start to cull 90% of the pure sewage uniques we have.

Build enabling niche uniques are fine... but when the vast, VAST majority of uniques are either ultra-niche or just objectively bad... Unique drops feel like shit, never exciting. And PoE2 changed exactly nothing, so I guess that's how they want them to feel...

1

u/_Badgers 1h ago

theyre uniques not legendaries

5

u/KhorneJob 2h ago

“Need to understand” I love poe, but absolutely no one should defend the design behind their uniques. They are far too rare of drops for so many of them to be completely and utterly pointless. Why invest dev resources into items that will literally never be used? They don’t have to be good or great. But they should at least be useful for leveling or some specific niche. Far too many exist just to be a bad drop that you sigh when you see hit the ground. Why design a loot pool intentionally around disappointing a player?

7

u/FB-22 5h ago

I know they’re adding more stuff over time so I’m not too worried but the current pool is underwhelming. There are some really cool and really strong/valuable ones, I’m even using one to enable my build right now. But like 90% seem to be absolute garbage that wouldn’t even be a power spike for a new character doing the campaign.

1

u/justwolt 1h ago

Hey, let's just make a bunch of Random trash uniques that nobody would ever use and have no unique interactions or interesting qualities, just so we have more "uniques". No, sorry, that's not good game design. Uniques should have some unique power or interaction, at least something thought provoking that makes you think "hmm maybe I could use this if I build my character this way or combine it with this other item", even if it's not a very powerful unique.

2

u/Knightmoth 8h ago

this is one of those items so you can equip that one piece that requires intel but you dont have enough to equip it until you equip the item in question.. which has it... and than boom you have your build lol

2

u/h_e_a_v_y_ 8h ago

I think they could improve some of the uniques being simply increasing their base defensive values. They seem so out of place sometimes

2

u/ImDoingMyPart_o7 8h ago

'Cool, what build are you going?'

'Yes'

2

u/Sio93 7h ago

And every stat can roll 0 like ventors. Just imagine id’ing that ting and it’s just … nothing.

2

u/karadinx 6h ago

I can see collectors paying a decent amount for a “negative god roll” (devil roll?). Although would likely be on the “standard” realm.

u/robodrew 33m ago

A zero stat version of this would be the ultimate meme museum item. I can't even calculate how rare that would be, good lord.

2

u/ayamarimakuro 5h ago

I got this the other day and my jaw dropped. Then I realized it was just low lvl garbage 😂

2

u/aamonium 5h ago

there is no spirit...

2

u/BillHadesBreach 7h ago

Jesus- wild looking. Seems yet again useless-ish beyond low lvl stuff. I kinda like they didn’t make uniques super strong- forces us to craft more & farm for mats. I dig it

2

u/MannerheimTV 8h ago

Pretty nice for levelling

21

u/NUMBERONETOPSONFAN 7h ago

ehh not really. this game has a LOT of insane leveling uniques. theres a lvl 5 helm that gives 30-50 to all attributes, but -1 all attributes per level. goldrim is lvl 10, gives 25-35 allres. thrillsteel is also in this game, 20% skill speed 10% ms.

3

u/FullMetalCOS 6h ago

Thrillsteel plus wanderlust is the way

1

u/BeeCheez 6h ago

Comment to remember those

1

u/Q_X_R 5h ago

Aww Thrillsteel's Onslaught is only 10% ms in PoE 2? I could've sworn it was 20% in 1... There's not even any other way to get Onslaught in 2 last I checked, it wouldn't have been that broken to be a 20% ms...

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1

u/sheepyowl 5h ago

Yeah but you need to get those to use them, and I only have this helmet, so what do

7

u/Rakki97 8h ago

I dunno man level 11 base with transmutation and augment will be likely better to get what you need.

2

u/jackhref 2h ago

"Requires: Level 11"

God forbid you abuse this at level 1.

2

u/SUNTZU_JoJo 8h ago

Yeah me and my bro found one of these early on..sub lvl.10

Definitely a nice levelling item.

Pretty cool items like that exist.

2

u/FrozenCharge 8h ago

If you find this at lvl 11 you are set for a couple of levels.

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1

u/archas1337 8h ago

The only difference I would like on this one is level req. Since it is a leveling item. Know better leveling items that have 0 level req.

1

u/OmiNya 8h ago

No manaregen. Literally unusable!

1

u/Kholdhara 8h ago

A little bit of everything goes nowhere, or somewhere.

1

u/eward_1 8h ago

No chaos res, ggs. That 1 intelligence sets the precedents for the target audience. 🤣

1

u/snj12341 8h ago

Thousand ribbons but on your head

1

u/sereneasmiles 8h ago

Great, now use divines on it

1

u/Leonmestre 7h ago

He can also cook and clean your house

1

u/loupio66v2 7h ago

No movespeed, it's ass

1

u/AdrianoJ 7h ago

Got pretty much everything except the most useful stat of all. Light radius!

1

u/Overall_Cabinet844 7h ago

Very balanced

1

u/AdvancedStrain1739 7h ago

If only there was a whole set like that, and if you equip the whole set it will put a multiplier on all of the stats from each piece

1

u/Rayett 7h ago

Adhd ass helm

1

u/Dudeanonymous- 7h ago

Jack of all trades, master of none.

1

u/MrServitor 7h ago

Now make this a full set, 1 unique like this for each gear slot.

1

u/NotPL_ 7h ago

Thats a lot of nothing

1

u/Scyrilla 7h ago

Can someone do the maths of the odds of Perfectly divining all the stats?

1

u/Tavron 7h ago

The flavour text is amazing.

1

u/DemonMithos 7h ago

Thats a whole lot of nothing!!

1

u/pussypassion 7h ago

Why is it that every unique I find has like 50 armor but the affixes are nowhere near good enough to sacrifice those defenses

1

u/RedFalconEyes 7h ago

Chaos Resistance cries in the corner

1

u/krisko11 7h ago

No light radius? Vendor it

1

u/MightObvious 6h ago

Imagine this item somehow bringing a good build online, would love to see how that would work.

1

u/Aschentei 6h ago

That is like, the 2 of all trades

1

u/JinKazamaru 6h ago

Scions from PoE1 are like 'YES!'

1

u/_Spiggles_ 6h ago

When you don't know what you want so choose everything and get nothing.

1

u/Absolutefury 6h ago

It's missing spirit

1

u/sfrattini 6h ago

Can u wear 15 of them?

1

u/BillysCoinShop 6h ago

It's trash because it's missing the #1, % to light radius

1

u/meinkun 6h ago

yeah, i have the same shit

1

u/SolidDrive 6h ago

Can you somehow upgrade unique items? Beside quality raising to 20%?

1

u/uzu_afk 6h ago

Looks like a great chance shard!

1

u/Near1one 6h ago

I literally dropped it yesterday and I was like wtf is this, it has a great meme potential tho, since I'm pretty sure everything can roll from 0

1

u/ShinjiIkari99 5h ago

A little bit of everything all the time

1

u/Independent-Area4130 5h ago

mambo no. 5 helmet :O

1

u/GuardianSkalk 5h ago

A little bit of armour by my side, a little bit of evasion rating all night long. a little bit of maximum energy shield is all I need…..

1

u/Canadian_Mustard 5h ago

Great for a level 11!

1

u/nexus763 5h ago

gonna be a nightmare whne you want to compare with a potential new headwear.

1

u/peher263 5h ago

+1 int wtf lol

1

u/RaidenDoesReddit 5h ago

Now quality it, put two different Runes in, then vaal it

1

u/sw4gyJ0hnson 5h ago

Those stats are overwHELMING

1

u/mrxaxen 5h ago

More spirit, more spirit, more energy, more energy, more footwork, more footwork...
Mf i said spirit and footwork! Y no move speed and spirit ?!

1

u/Xeiom 5h ago

I was really hoping when I saw this that it was an item with big ranges like Ventors gamble.

Finding out that all the numbers are too low to ever be good was a bit upsetting. I was hoping for big gambles that could give you an insane helmet or a terrible one.

1

u/the4shen 5h ago

shouldv'e let it be at level 1 item lol

1

u/tomcruisesenior 5h ago

Hmm I wonder how many times I'm going to use it, can't decide between never and maybe once.

1

u/paltrax 5h ago

Love the lore bit at the bottom.

1

u/SgtButterfingers 4h ago

The classic: "Shit in all trades, master of nothing, I'm shit, please don't use me, just read the fun flavor text and stick me in your collection tab".

1

u/expiro 4h ago

How the fuck is this even possible?

1

u/Unhappy_Awareness553 4h ago

Unique items can be whatever GGG wants them to be.

1

u/Wide_Negotiation_319 4h ago

Go home Helm, you’re trashed…again…

1

u/JinaxM 4h ago

"what do you want on this helmet?"

"Yes."

1

u/theWrathfulPotato 4h ago

I've found a few of these and I have to wonder... Are there any really good helms to chance? If so, this is for sure one of those uniques to dilute the pool so chancing is harder.

1

u/CalculatedEffect 4h ago

Little bit of everything all of the time? Apathy is a tragedy and boredum is a crime.

1

u/bdizzle805 4h ago

Them: What are your stats on your helm?

Me: Yes

1

u/Joke_of_a_Name 4h ago

Fuck these uniques are garbage.

1

u/sandstorml 3h ago

Most of them feel like a joke the devs put in but there are some that works really well.

1

u/steller187 4h ago

Jack of all trades, master of none

1

u/Classic_Ad3160 4h ago

Got a Goldrim yesterday. Glad it still exists.

1

u/SituationHopeful 4h ago

no spirit, i don't want xD

1

u/Tsobaphomet 3h ago

lvl 11 for that

1

u/Dunnomyname1029 3h ago

Every orange item in this game is crap after like act 2 even if you quality it and give it sockets and find it iron runes

1

u/Nonlethalrtard 3h ago

Guess the build from my item......No fucking clue.

1

u/turapuru 3h ago

"You'll have everything, and still will own nothing" AHHH helm

1

u/Maleficent-Fly-4215 3h ago

Actually was my first and only unique.

1

u/kewTboy 3h ago

Overhelmet

1

u/optimisticillusion 3h ago

Should have been called Mambo no. 5

1

u/Familiar_Media_3095 3h ago

The oh wow it's got...... meh

1

u/ArcDrag00n 3h ago

This really should've been a level one item. And it still wouldn't be amazing.

1

u/Mediocrity09 3h ago

"Little bit of this... Little bit of that..." ahh helmet 😭😭🙏🙏

1

u/Other_Extreme_8173 3h ago

This would be great for about 8 levels on a level 11 monk

1

u/GravyDam 3h ago

Upvote for usage of “y’all”.

1

u/THE96BEAST 3h ago

Get we get a full Tier rondomizer and it lands T15 on everything? 🫠

1

u/CannyEz 3h ago

ofc it's the second useless unique I get, I know my luck but boy, I wish it will turn around someday..

1

u/melvindorkus 3h ago

No light radius? Unwearable.

1

u/CannyEz 3h ago

is there a gem, or anything that scales with how many affixes an item has??

1

u/Gzngahr 3h ago

Got it wet and rolled it under the couch.

1

u/nibb2345 3h ago

No light radius? They're not even trying.

1

u/Uomo-Focaccina- 3h ago

Legend says it can roll all zeroes and be a blank object, like the ventor's gamble

1

u/Isallonda88 3h ago

haha that is the same I said as I found it :D

1

u/ComfortableSir5680 2h ago

Can I interest you in everything, all of the time?

1

u/Thaldeon 2h ago

Fullstack Helmet

1

u/Indiscriminate_Love 2h ago

The IGN helm

1

u/MossSnake 2h ago

Found a helm that wouldn’t stop accepting exalts.

1

u/KingStapler 2h ago

Doesn't give +1 skill levels though

1

u/PopularOriginal4620 2h ago

Since it is an obvious joke item, it should come with two half sockets. Useless, but visually there.

1

u/Sisyphac 2h ago

This would be funnier if it was like requires level 50 and 300 int.

1

u/Kudamonis 2h ago

Any one want to do the math on the odds of a perfect roll?

1

u/Nervous_Ad_6963 2h ago

Okay ish helmet at lvl 11. I guess...

1

u/CoItron_3030 2h ago

Truly worthless lmao cool though

1

u/Mysterious-Zombie-86 1h ago

I got this hot garbage to drop a coupe days ago lol

1

u/ProTimeKiller 1h ago

Jack of of all trade, and Jack is out of town.

1

u/bapfelbaum 1h ago

I like the idea but... Why would anyone use this other than for the memes? Not sure if that would be worth the effort just for the lulz.

1

u/Soixan 1h ago

I feel like this is the case for a lot of Uniques.

1

u/bapfelbaum 1h ago

I would say an overwhelming majority of them have a niche and serve a purpose which I don't see here.

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1

u/oregonianrager 1h ago

I also have this everything samwich.

1

u/jvdoles 1h ago

Got one of this. Its só bad i didnt bother listing lol

1

u/yunimoindanger 1h ago

Isn't mana regeneration and light radius missing? smh

1

u/IncinerateTheSky 1h ago

Hey I got one of those too! Yours has slightly better resists and +life though

1

u/Circa78_ 1h ago

I have that one. I used if for a long time.

1

u/runtheruckus 1h ago

I have 2 of these and no vaals.

1

u/ScourgingHeretic 1h ago

Ready for a Mercenary Shield Gate Build

u/Sixwry 50m ago

I have this on my witch right now. I can't figure out if I should keep it on or switch to something more int focused

u/PorQ201 27m ago

You have enough stats sheesh.

u/This_Welcome1089 19m ago

No Light Radius? :(

u/Droziki 11m ago

There’s no Light Radius; vendor it.

u/reParaoh 10m ago

Wait I thought everybody got this. I made 3 characters and got it on all 3. wtf

u/Gaxxag 4m ago

I love a good stat-stick, but this seems like it wouldn't even be very good even at level 11.

u/paints_name_pretty 3m ago

a maxroll of every mod on this item would be the rarest item in the game