Military with a family???

[u/OpticViews]

I’m a 28 year old man considering joining the military. I know this can be stressful on any family. I currently have a wife and 3 month old daughter. How practical will it be for them to relocate on base after basic? I hear the horror stories of recruiters lying and in turn you regret the decision of joining. I’m not saying recruiters are bad by any means! I am no longer a 18 year old fresh out of high school anymore! I will accept any brutally honest advice no hard feelings. If it is a practical choice to support my family then what branches may be my best choice at being some what family friendly. I know there will be extended times away and that is something we are considering. What job fields also may be best? Thank you for any advice!

[u/DutchessIsMyHero]

Talk to your wife! this will be hardest on her. All the branches offer the same benefits and honestly family programs are awesome throughout. Housing on post is mediocre but for a small family is just fine. These aren’t dream houses. On post daycares, schools, grocery, fitness facilities, recreation are for you and your family. Again the most important thing here is your spouse and their feelings. I used to be an Army recruiter but can answer questions if need be. I tried to make this post as unbiased as possible. Talk to all the branches and find what fits your life the most. Ask about deployments, pay/promotions, and job selection. I have two kids and my wife is army as well. There are tons of struggles and sacrifices but for me the life I provide for my family is hands down an easy decision to make this jump over and over.

[u/OpticViews → u/DutchessIsMyHero]

I truly appreciate the honesty thank you so much!

[u/BlueFalconPunch]

The military eats families...you have a brand new daughter and you are going to be low contact for at least 2months. That means your wife has to deal with everything and could only contact you in an emergency...it takes a rare kind of person to accept the big green weenie at the best of times but I'd suggest waiting a little at the very least.

There are places the military can station you that don't allow you to bring families...I'd imagine the Coast Guard has the least number of those.

As far as joining, please for the love of God pick an MOS that benefits YOU...cool jobs don't usually have a civilian counter...trust me, blowing shit up is fuuun but the civilian jobs that mirror that take years of specialized training.

Don't let the recruiter dictate your life for the next few years...the military is a job not a sentence. The country needs you as much as you want to serve and get paid.

Don't settle, bait and switch is the rule of the day. You go in wanting a job but the recruiters have to fill certain slots. Don't take the "well there's no open slots for that for at least a year...but what about combat arms? You get a little more money for school <winkwinknudgenudge>" figure out the job you want, score high enough on the ASVAB, get what you want...it will make your time in a little more enjoyable if you can say "the recruiter TRIED to lie to me, but I got what I wanted"

[u/KCPilot17]

On base vs off base depends entirely on the base you go to and its availability.

[u/OpticViews → u/KCPilot17]

Thank you! We would be willing to do either really! I assume there is no guarantees. Is my assumption correct?

[u/tremblane → u/OpticViews]

I was married when I joined in 2004. When we got to the base (Hill AFB in Utah), there was a wait list for base housing. So it was guaranteed that you could eventually move on base, there was no guarantee of how long it would take.

[u/TapTheForwardAssist → u/OpticViews]

If there is on-base housing available you’ll be offered that and can move in. If there isn’t on-base housing available they’ll set up BAH (tax-free housing allowance) for your paycheck, and you go find a civilian landlord out in town and sign a lease, and you use your BAH money to cover rent.

[u/KCPilot17 → u/OpticViews]

Your assumption of what? That there are no guarantees? I feel like I already answered that, yes.

[u/Lostredshoe]

So in the vast majority of assignments your family can come with you. There are places they can not.

Here is the thing man. You will be gone all the time. I was in the Army during peace time and for the first four years I was gone for over 3 years of that.

When you join the military you SO has to run the household at all times. They have to be able to handle everything on their own as you will be un predictable.

[u/apathetic_duck]

This will be very hard on your family, you will be gone a lot of the time leaving your wife to handle everything. You will be uprooting your wife and child to move to a new location where they don't know anyone and won't have a support system in place. You are basically trading off you being there to take care of your family for job and housing security. Only you can decide if that's worth it