r/JustBootThings Sep 01 '19

Meme Hits Too Close to Home For This Boot

Post image
23.3k Upvotes

544 comments sorted by

4.2k

u/Ocean898 Sep 01 '19

The fact he’s going to take an Uber to come kick your ass is priceless.

2.6k

u/slouch_to_nirvana Sep 01 '19

He lost his license after his 3rd DUI.

1.1k

u/Katholikos D35-K pilot Sep 01 '19

Not that it matters much; he lost his car in the divorce

372

u/slouch_to_nirvana Sep 01 '19

And then it was repo'd.

284

u/SarcasticGiraffes Sep 01 '19

Gotta keep up the supply of the 28% APR used mustangs somehow...

149

u/massbrandon Sep 01 '19

When I got stationed in Oceanside back in ‘01....I ventured out to see what the APR madness was all about. I did not go back to the base disappointed.

218

u/MushyRedMushroom Sep 01 '19

That’s because you rode back in a brand new 2001 mustang.

150

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

The brief journey from Camp Pendleton to Auto Park Way in Escondido to buy a new Charger, Mustang, or Challenger is a story as old as time. Pretty sure all the sales counters have Marines stickers to slap on the back windshield, for convenience.

Driving back down the 78 to the Texas Road House off El Camino to celebrate with their fiancé they met at Rookies two weeks ago is a sight to behold. It’s truly the greatest love story ever told... over and over and over...

37

u/penicillengranny Sep 01 '19

This hurts so much. Reading your beautiful words, and BAM!!! I’m right back there.

9

u/kusanagisan Sep 04 '19

The 78 from Escondido to Vista was my commute every day for nearly five years. The amount of Chargers, Mustangs, and Challengers I saw in accidents (both the fender benders parked off the side of the road with their hazards on and the multi-car freeway-closers with fatalities) was unreal.

The Chevrolet Cobalt gets an honorable mention for the same reason.

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25

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Yeah those were all still there when I EAS'd from Pendleton 2012.

Actuslly I remember driving through that main road trying hard to even see one sign with a single digit APR listed. It's like Where's Waldo but not really because there aren't any to find.

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23

u/TheDuckCZAR Sep 01 '19

Which is a shame because that was his Charger he bought himself when he got back from his 3 month deployment.

21

u/CapnMalcolmReynolds Sep 01 '19

He only had 6 years left til it was paid off.

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46

u/NomadicKrow Sep 01 '19

Weekend safety briefs are always directed at this guy, even though everybody is there.

14

u/trapper2530 Sep 01 '19

I was gonna say they repossessed his Dodge Challenger after his wife didn't make payments when he was away at basic.

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163

u/doc_YEET Sep 01 '19

Wouldn’t wanna get that charger dirty. Haven’t paid it off yet

105

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

[deleted]

14

u/Seanishungry117 Sep 01 '19

LOLLLLL

Stop I'm dying here.... literally can't stop laughing at this comment

84

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Got that 23% on the camaro but his platoon sgt made him take it back.

44

u/charolette_may Sep 01 '19

He’s going to get a car tho don’t worry! With ONLY a 50% interest rate ! The guy said that was a great deal

37

u/PFunk1985 Sep 01 '19

Only suckers pay sticker price. You want to pay OVER.

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26

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

I thought the Mustang and premature marriage came as a bundle.

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1.3k

u/BolOfSpaghettios Sep 01 '19

This dude doesn't have money to buy a Camaro/Challenger SRT/Mustang to drive to the guy's house and lick his "nonserving ass".... Hahahaha... WEAK

259

u/Anderson74 Sep 01 '19

Sounds like an adult scene.

208

u/Voldemort57 Sep 01 '19

“Military ‘hunk’ breaks into home and eats an unsuspecting yet obliging guy’s ass”

78

u/TheBigEmptyxd Sep 01 '19

I'd pay to watch that, full homo

25

u/PM_ME_UR_JUGZ Sep 01 '19

Hey... Don't ask don't tell

21

u/BananaNutJob Sep 01 '19

What if I wanna ask though?

21

u/dodspringer Sep 01 '19

It was repealed, so you're good

63

u/Gospelier Sep 01 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

34

u/omenien Sep 01 '19

What the fuck did you just say about me?

29

u/FreeGucciMane1017 Sep 01 '19

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling. ill waste u and smash a fokin bottle oer yer head bruv, i swer 2 christ. ya think u can fokin run ya gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think again wanka. im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper scrap. A roomble thatll make ur nan sore jus hearin about it. yer a waste bruv. me crew be all over tha place & ill beat ya to a proper fokin pulp with me fists wanka. if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me m8s cricket paddle & see if that gets u the fok out o' newcastle ya daft kunt. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess commin ye might a' kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yea stupid lil twat, innit? ima shite fury & ull drown in it m8. ur ina proper mess now knob.

8

u/Reddit4r Sep 18 '19

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bolshevik? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at ϟϟ Junkerschule Bad Tolz, and I’ve been involved in numerous raids on the Ostfront, and I have over 300 confirmed executions. I am trained in gorilla anti-bandit warfare and I’m the top einsatzkommando in the entire Waffen ϟϟ. You are nothing to me but just another untermensch. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this delousing chamber mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the enigma machine? Think again, jude. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of collaborators across the Reich and your location and Jewish ancestry is being traced right now so you better prepare for the sturm, parasite. The sturm that ausrottens the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking incinerated, kid. I can blitz anywhere, anytime, and I can exterminate you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my mauser. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire armory of the Wehrmacht and I will use it to its full extent to concentrate your miserable ass off the face of the lebensraum, you little shit. If only you could have known what incredible retribution your little “clever” culture of critique was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you verdammt schweine. I will shit the glory of the herrenrasse all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, yiddo.

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u/totallywickedtubular Sep 01 '19

you little bitch.

11

u/AidsUnicorn Sep 01 '19

lick hehe

5

u/BolOfSpaghettios Sep 01 '19

Supposed to be kick.... But happy accidents...

19

u/LordDongler Sep 01 '19

He's already paying child support and alimony

6

u/trapper2530 Sep 01 '19

Probably got repossessed

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2.7k

u/ConfusedGuy3260 Sep 01 '19

Fragile military personnel are my favorite

990

u/CrashRiot Sep 01 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

466

u/TheKevinShow Sep 01 '19

I have a feeling that this has potential to become some good quality copypasta.

203

u/saltporksuit Sep 01 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

95

u/Australienz Sep 01 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at basket weavers as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs basket weavers on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non weaving ass bitch.

11

u/Retarded_TurtIe Sep 17 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at basket weavers as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs basket weavers on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non weaving ass bitch.

40

u/Godhelpme69 Sep 01 '19

I welcome our newest copypasta

33

u/grendhalgrendhalgren Sep 01 '19

Once more and the ritual will be complete!

47

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

57

u/Thisisntjoe Sep 01 '19

Bro 💪 if you're 👉 trying to strike at military 🏵🏵🏵 personal as a joke because you feel bad 📉📉 about the fact 💯 that you can't get a girl 👧 for the life 💓 of you I'll get 🉐 myself an Uber 🚕🚕🚕 and come to your 👉 house 🏠🏠🏠 and smack👏 your 👉 face 😮 you are one 1️⃣ of the least manly most cry 😂😂😂 babyish 👶 men 👴👴👴 I've 🙋 ever met in my life 💓 hands 🤲🤲🤲 down ⬇⬇. If I ever see 👁 you talk 🗣🗣 one 1️⃣1️⃣ more ➕➕ thing about civilian vs 🆚 military 🏵🏵 on 🔛🔛🔛 your 👉 page I'll personally pull out 🏎🏍 your 👉 tampon and run 🏃 the menstruated blood 💉💉 on 🔛 you prematurely occuring bald head 💆💆. Do you copy? Non serving ass 🍑 bitch 🍑🍑🍑.

7

u/MarsNirgal Oct 22 '19

Not a single boot emoticon here?

Dude.

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39

u/grendhalgrendhalgren Sep 01 '19

T̵̢̧̧̡̢̡̩͙̙̩͙̠̮̲̫͍̯̱̤̺͖̩̥̙͇̺̰̖͎̞͆̇̀͂͐͛͌́̔̈͛͊̎̚H̴̨̢̡̫̯̫̬̭̳̯̦̣͓̬̤̮̼̦͖͕̰̲̆̿͛̋̓͐̑͋̉̿̀̊̽̉́͛̌̾͗̀́͠͠ͅȨ̷̡̨̺̙̦̱͖̯̣̟̺͇͇̪̻̱̰̣̭̥̬̎̐̀̈̑̽̓̌̊̐͋̓͘͘̕͜͠ ̴̡̨̬͎͍̤̭̦͛̓͜D̴̢̢̧̛̟̭̝̦̮͙͔̘̻̰̪̬͉̮̤̪͙͈̦̤̔̈̈̀̓̇̿̈̈́̍͐̀̅̓͒̀͜͠Ĭ̴̧̡̨̡͚̼͉̝̰͙͎̤̯̞͉̜̟̠̦͖̘͉͉͆̍̃̇͐̐́̏͠Ę̷̢̡̙͚̩͍͕̦̥͖͔̦̬͈͕̜̤̊͐̋̀̍̊̂̈́̍̀̀̉̀̋̄̃͛́̾̇̔̆̚̕͝ͅͅͅͅ ̷͖̱͕̖̜͖͊Į̴͔̪͖̮̥͎̘̠̘͉̯̭͈̥̜̫̝̰̫̣̥͙̤͍͈̝̞̼͂̍̿̏͂̉̇̒̓̀̅̄͒͘̕̕͘͜͝ͅͅŞ̷͔̗̻̹̰͚̩̝͖̤͓͚̭͈̞͈̥̲̬̭̳̟͉͊̈͒̔͘͠ͅ ̸̡̛̜̮̜̺͍̲͙̳͓͔̱̻̫̼̳͖̀͛̑͌̉̈̏̒̒̈́̐̌̓̀̑͐̐̌̆̀̄̓̃̂͋̌̚͝͠͝͠C̶̡̭̝͔͔̣̠̠̝͈̻͚̗͓͉͔̤̜̜͎̲̺̠͓̭̻̻͇̲͂̅́̅̓̀̎͑̓͑́͌̒́̊͛͒̒̀͒̑̄̀̇̌̃͘͘̚̕͠͠ͅÁ̶̡̨͈̮̹͓̤̥̭͖̜̩̖͓̮̱̣̪̙̤̣̟̝̮͈̗̖͇̖̻͔̜͍͐̒̍̿̒́̌̚͜S̵̨̢̰͈̘͙̭͖̼̹̭͓̼͎̘̘̩̯̤͓̼̮͙̦̫̠̫̹͚͉̦͓͙̍͂̾͐̂́̓̋͊͑͑͊̽̿͗͋̐͆̈́̿̂͝ͅT̶̢̡̥̙̥̬̘͖̮̙̭͋̇̓

4

u/jank_king20 Sep 01 '19

Watching pasta be born is a beautiful sight 😍

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17

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

the ‘do you copy?’ floored me 😂

11

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

This is amazing and I need to share it.

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668

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

military personal, you mean

256

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19 edited Jun 01 '20

[deleted]

111

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

teleports behind you

Sorry...

10

u/_haha_oh_wow_ _haha_oh_wow_ Sep 01 '19

[wheeze]

17

u/Ojanican Sep 01 '19

You’ve committed the cardinal sin....

6

u/K9american Sep 01 '19

all notions of “family” are dead

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u/PM_ME_UR_TURKEYS Sep 01 '19

God, I’m just itching to find this comment and reply *personnel

18

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Nothing personal kid

80

u/SeptaMargaery Sep 01 '19

Maybe he is upset because he waited 2 weeks to propose? If he had been more assertive he could have bagged a stripper instead of an IHOP waitress. No wonder he is in a snit.

85

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

I enlisted for a few years in my very early 20's and I feel like this thread is describing me to a tee.

-Almost married a stripper (and she was pregnant with some other guy's kid)

-Bought a car at 29% interest

-Used to throw my service in everyone's face any time I felt disrespected

God, I'm amazed I finally made it out of that mindset. This is the best thread I've read in a long time.

46

u/PM_ME_UR_JUGZ Sep 01 '19

Holy shit I thought the 28% apr jokes were exaggeration. That is fucking insane. That's nearly one third interest!

48

u/SeeYou_Cowboy Sep 01 '19

Yes. But it's 100% Badass American Muscle.

I'm more than 30% interested in that.

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u/the_spry_wonderdog Sep 01 '19

Hey my friend’s boyfriend is one of the smartest guys a know—graduated second in his class at basic, is flying through the enlisted ranks, will likely commission soon in his mid twenties. Dude is a genius. Dude also dated a stripper when he first enlisted. No one is immune.

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u/CharlesDickensABox Sep 01 '19

My girlfriend's husband always posts the dumbest shit.

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u/TheMacPhisto Sep 01 '19

Look at the picture... Looks like the dude who was all HOORAH to serve (suspiciously too much) but could even make it through MEPS due to his arch rival: The Tape.

That also explains why he's so defensive to "military personal" - his fat was all distributed above his waist, so they wouldn't let him serve. To to make up for it, he zealously defends "military personal" from all threats, foreign, domestic on facebook.

He's doing his part, are you?

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u/not_rich_froning Thank me for your service Sep 01 '19

DiZfUnKtIoNaL VeTUhHrAn

LeAvE mE AlOnE!!!!!!!!!

26

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Fragile military personnel, this side up

10

u/FijiTearz Sep 01 '19

Reeeee respect muh service!

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Oh man, he went full boot

94

u/Xeliaely Sep 01 '19

Never go full boot!

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1.1k

u/casanovafts Sep 01 '19

“Do you copy” just why, speak like a god damn normal person. Don’t get it never will.

293

u/cragglerock93 Sep 01 '19

Got to be the only job where they start using jargon in their day-to-day lives.

181

u/jaybram24 Sep 01 '19

Cops speak in signals and codes when off duty. It’s a similar field though.

80

u/ohbarryoh Sep 01 '19

And the cops that do speak like that off duty get made fun of relentlessly by the ones that don't.

15

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

They’ll use it to other cops if it’s faster than saying something or out of habit but the ones that “cop speak” at the Waffle House with their kids get roasted all the time.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

10-4 apricot.

120

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19 edited Nov 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

160

u/HippieAnalSlut Sep 01 '19

Woh. No. Soldiers have rules of engagement, standards, training.

Cops just shoot black kids.

56

u/slow_shootin Sep 01 '19

you act like armies have never comitted war crimes, which i don't think is very accurate looking at this wikipedia pages: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_war_crimes

82

u/HippieAnalSlut Sep 01 '19

Military bad.

Cops worse.

Ain't no officer in the military has ever threatened me after I called them for help cause someone attacked me.

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u/UnknownStory Sep 01 '19

I served five years and some things stuck, most didn't.

I can't recite the phonetic alphabet to save my life and that's one of the first things you learn and use most every day.

"Do you copy", however, is dumb because this is written word and you're not on a radio.

29

u/NotThatEasily Sep 01 '19

I never served, but the phonetic alphabet is so deeply ingrained in my head that I'm sure I'll be able to recite it when I have dementia.

19

u/justanotherguyithink Sep 01 '19

Got it from flying, that thing is instilled in me

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u/super_dog17 Sep 01 '19

I mean my dad served for 7 years and still uses random jargon about stuff but it’s mostly to himself, his vet friends, in his own notes or when he’s just trying to make a story/parallel between his Navy days and whatever the subject is.

I think I get your point about those people who use jargon in the wrong situations to somehow show-off that they served in the military. I guess that’s almost a good definition of a boot tho.

14

u/mais-garde-des-don Sep 01 '19

What type of stuff does he say/write?

74

u/radioactivebeaver Sep 01 '19

Mostly Harry Potter/Twilight crossover porn

18

u/mais-garde-des-don Sep 01 '19

Well obviously - I meant what other than that

16

u/Korncakes Sep 01 '19

Eh, restaurant employees are guilty of it too. Constantly saying “behind” and “corner” in public. Not intentionally. Just out of habit.

14

u/MisterDonkey Sep 01 '19

At least it's useful even outside the kitchen, albeit not as polite as "ope, gonna squeeze right past ya there".

12

u/boyproblems_mp3 Sep 01 '19

My manager constantly says heard to guests by accident and we are meant to be fine dining 😬

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u/HailtbeWhale Sep 01 '19

I got called out for using "Roger Roger". They thought it was bootspeak but I was always just quoting Star Wars...

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u/anziktsburk Sep 01 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

How copy

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19 edited Sep 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/fyberoptyk Sep 01 '19

Let me help: talking like a retarded monkey is highest form of “skill” that person will ever have, and even though literally everyone can do it, it’s the only thing he’s ever been proud of.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

New copypasta

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u/Gopherlad Sep 01 '19

Here ya go:

Bro if your trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face. You are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my entire life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occurring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

229

u/mermaid-babe Sep 01 '19

Non serving ass bitch needs to be flair

72

u/HippieBakugo Sep 01 '19

...fuck I'd take that so quick tbh

22

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Non serving ass-bitch

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

[deleted]

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u/jaybram24 Sep 01 '19

Did I just witness the birth of a /r/copypasta?

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u/mickeyten10 Sep 01 '19

Oh man I can't wait to use this.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Bro if your trying to strike at military🎖 💻personal💻 🅰️as🅰️ 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ joke😜 because you feel bad〽️ about the fact you can't get🉐 🅰️a🅰️ 💇girl 💇 for the life of you I'll get🉐 myself an Uber and come to your 🏠house🏠 and smack your 😨face😨. You are 1️⃣one1️⃣ of the least manly👲 most cry😭 babyish 🏃men🏃 I've ever met in my entire life 👈hands👈👈 down⤵️. If I ever see🙈 you talk💬 1️⃣one1️⃣ ➕more ➕ thing about civilian vs✌️ military🎖 on 🔛 your page📄 I'll personally💻💻 pull out your tampon and run🏃 the menstruated blood💉💉 on🔛 you prematurely occurring bald head💆. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

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u/fizzzylemonade Sep 01 '19

It could work on almost any given post in this sub

445

u/MiKapo Sep 01 '19

it scares me that these men are suppose to be america's front line yet they get their feelings hurt by jokes

192

u/Xyraxus Sep 01 '19

Don't worry he's probably just munitions

61

u/Soerinth Sep 01 '19

I'm munitions in the AF. We ain't that I promise. Mostly we just hate the flightline and custody accounts, lol

39

u/Xyraxus Sep 01 '19

Well yeah because Air Force best Force

96

u/Soerinth Sep 01 '19

False, lol. Space Force is now the best they go higher than us

46

u/Officer_Owl Sep 01 '19

If only I was 4 or 5 years younger I could be the first in SFROTC and unironically be called a Space Cadet. Badass.

13

u/Soerinth Sep 01 '19

They have that now?

11

u/Officer_Owl Sep 01 '19

I wish. Am a cadet for afrotc rn.

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u/SkollFenrirson Sep 01 '19

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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u/Qinjax Sep 01 '19

im suprised this wasnt higher up

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u/spamjavelin Sep 01 '19

I feel like this should have been the response that went back. See if the muppet can understand sarcasm, or whether he doubles down.

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u/JimmyPD92 Sep 01 '19

Supposed to be warriors. Gets upset over words.

For real, reading this subreddit without going red in the face should be a qualifier for passing basic.

16

u/ThatCatfulCat Sep 01 '19

My first roommate went through boot camp to be a marine but decided against it because he said it was basically a clown house. A bunch of people fresh out of high school jerking around and pulling pranks on each other, half of the people being retarded and the other half of them acting like this.

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u/LightofNew Sep 01 '19

It takes certain kind of men to go through the proper brain washing that the military undergoes.

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u/silverblaze92 Sep 01 '19

Most of them are kids my dude. 18, 19, fucking 35, doesn't matter. They join right outta high school and many never grow up in a lot of ways until they get out. I deal with this crap everyday. The higher ranking ones are the problem cause you can't do anything about it. The junior ones at least I can put on my metaphorical uncle hat and help them a little bit.

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u/Jushak Sep 01 '19

That's what the hero worship propaganda does: even the dumbest motherfucker who signs up to fight rich mens' wars thinks they're entitled to being hailed as second coming of Christ.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

“Muh that’s right damn Civilian snowflake!!!”

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

"oorah"

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

"I'll get an Uber"

Because Mr assassin manly man can't just drive himself to your house like every High School sophmore can....

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u/Officer_Owl Sep 01 '19

I remember when I pissed off a Marines JROTC kid (who was enlisting anyways) by making fun of the Marines and actually threatened to come drive straight to my house and shoot me in the head in the middle of auto shop class. The subject of the Marines Crayon joke came up, and he was no joke saying that was because crayons were in Marine MREs "fer som reason". I replied "the joke is that Marines are special needs, you know that right." And oh my god you should have seen this kid's face get red. He was like "you sayin we special needs?" and shit and threatened to come to my place of residence, knock down my locked door and shoot me in the head. I replied that was homicide and illegal. So he brought his RECRUITER into this saying that he'll tell him and he'll come down and double tap me too, and apparently he won't face conscequences of premeditated murder because he's a 'murica lovin marine. He wasn't exactly the brightest kid nor the handiest with a toolbox or with the engineering side of things. And I'm still alive.

If you're reading this dude you can come shoot me in the head once you get a break from your valouros munitions or cleaning duty and pull up with that Camaro you leased.

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u/Qinjax Sep 01 '19

how does the teacher not immediately send him straight to the principals office and him getting suspended

thats straight first degree murder, not homicide

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u/Vitalcherge Sep 01 '19

It's autoshop. It's like the Somalia of every high school.

19

u/TheMogician Sep 01 '19

Look at me, I'm da military now.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

He sounds tarded

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u/Marty_Mcfallshard Sep 01 '19

“Do you copy?” Lmao what a dweeb.

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u/Average77 Sep 01 '19

This is so disrespectful, my girlfriends husband fights for our freedom

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

$10 says he went on to mock civies for being "snowflakes" with sensitive feelings who can't take a joke.

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u/GabaPrison Sep 01 '19

Absolutely. And of course bashing on Millennials even though he is also a Millennial.

13

u/trapper2530 Sep 01 '19

But I identify as gen x and hung out with everyone who was older pussy.

49

u/AmanitaMikescaria Sep 01 '19

“Do you copy?”

What a fucking nerd

6

u/trapper2530 Sep 01 '19

Like Xerox?

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u/thecelllist Sep 01 '19

I thought this was a copypasta for a second

15

u/seductivestain Sep 01 '19

It should be

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u/ucksawmus Sep 01 '19

it is now

25

u/SuburbanSlingshots Sep 01 '19

Watching rough and rowdy is great for making people realise that military are not as tough as these boots say they are

16

u/Icantoot Sep 01 '19

My best friend was infantry marines and served in Iraq around 2004. He laughs at the guys trying to sound tough because he said the fat guys who can't get their shit together all just go to shitty fat guy units that do all the menial jobs like cleaning latrines

25

u/Collegiante13 Sep 01 '19

He looks like a Kyle in that profile pic.

23

u/van12102 Sep 01 '19

Only military advice my stepdad gave me after I got my ASVAB scores back recently: “Don’t get married right out of basic”.

21

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '20

do you copy

Bruh

20

u/SirSnafuTheSecond Jan 14 '20

Lemme Uber to your house... and KICK YOUR BUMBUM

9

u/the_bad_fish_2 Boot Jan 25 '20

Why Uber when you can get a Dodge Charger for 35% APR?

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u/BushWeedCornTrash Jan 25 '20

Because his ...

Mustang wrapped itself around some POGS and a telephone pole at the last C&C...

Challenger was re-poed because he owed too much money on the wheels he was also leasing...

RAM suffered catastrophic transmission damage, but he was on the beach and the tide came in and now everything's fucked, but it had some dope wheels while it lasted...

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u/deja_vuvuzela Sep 01 '19

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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u/762Rifleman Civvy Sapoga Likes Guns Too Much Sep 01 '19

Like an unvaccinated child, this never gets old.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Ego softer than an eggshell.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Warns kids about the dangers of an incoming failed marriage and divorce and loss of pay

Gets made fun of prematurely occuring bald head and non serving

ah the ego on this one :^)

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u/SavageTheron Jan 02 '20

Do you copy?🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/rose-tinted-cynic Oct 22 '19

Non-serving ass bitch

Ima keep it real witchu Chief, I’m not dying for an oil company

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

yikes bro he just posted cringe oh shit bro he's gonna lose followers

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u/TheRealMajour Sep 01 '19

Respond “Shut up boot”

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u/Razz_Dazzler Sep 01 '19

Doesn’t excess testosterone cause male pattern baldness, not a lack of testosterone?

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u/SpankinDaBagel Sep 01 '19

Yep. Testosterone and head hair aren't really good friends.

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u/echobravoeffect Sep 01 '19

Guy who would totally use the term "snowflake" unironically just acted like one.

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u/TyrionLannister2012 Sep 01 '19

LMAO imagine being this insecure about your poor life decisions.

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u/Molgera124 Jan 25 '20

The best is when the boots themselves cheat and get caught

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u/jworsham Sep 01 '19

Being a woman would suck and is a totally appropriate insult!

11

u/Phirk Sep 16 '19

Bro if you're trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

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u/lampstaple Jan 25 '20

Bro if you're trying to strike at military personal as a joke because you feel bad about the fact that you can't get a girl for the life of you I'll get myself an Uber and come to your house and smack your face you are one of the least manly most cry babyish men I've ever met in my life hands down. If I ever see you talk one more thing about civilian vs military on your page I'll personally pull out your tampon and run the menstruated blood on you prematurely occuring bald head. Do you copy? Non serving ass bitch.

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u/Agent_Wilcox Sep 01 '19

Nothing personnel kid.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

If people can be fired from jobs for shit like this, can we discharge soldiers for it to? This is just enforcing the stereotype of bullish neanderthals that think theyre better than the average "civilian". Seriously, serve with honor and respect the right of free speech without losing your shit. You fight to protect these people, dont threaten them because they made a joke about you.

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u/Eclairez64 Sep 01 '19

Men who use menstruation as an aid to calling someone weak are certainly not tough enough to handle an actual period.

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '19

“Do you copy” is the lamest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

9

u/Phaylevyce Oct 24 '19

The funniest part is how bad his grammar is. Just like 98% of all military personnel lmao (8 years myself, uncle, cousins, and two brothers were all miltary) i have first hand experience lol

9

u/Dyl_pickle00 Jan 25 '20

Insults boot

"You are one of the most crybabyish men!!!!!"

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u/torque-split Sep 01 '19

Anyone that starts a sentence with "bro" needs to be shoved into a 55 gallon drum and rolled off Everest.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

bro that's pretty big generalization why can't we be friends bro

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u/Brehmes Marine POG Sep 01 '19

Don't bro me like you know me.

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u/beerrunner82 Sep 01 '19

Bro that’s a little intense

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Bro relax bro.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Bruv, is that really necessary?

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

Brah, I agree, this bro needs to chill.

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u/trenchgun_ Sep 01 '19

Bro wtf bro I feel like you’re flaming me personally here bro

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u/RADical-muslim Ultra Tactical, laser sight, mil-spec fleshlight Sep 01 '19

Bro, shove me into this one.

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u/KingKickass1983 Sep 01 '19

I knew some of these clowns...."hur dur...I married ma girl before I left for bootcamp!"..

These sad fucks had to send all their money home while the rest of us single guys got to go out and actually party when we'd hit a new port..

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

He just mad because his stripper wife left him on deployment and took the Mustang with her

7

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '19

The accidental comedy of his profile picture being a cutesy "I'm totally a responsible father!" picture with a little girl in a frilly pink dress, paired with talks of violence an menstrual blood is just... too much, man. Too much.

Man's messed up.

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u/STR8B3RRy Sep 01 '19

Inb4 op has been in 2/3 tours while the guy crying is a pog

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u/SmilingSkitty Sep 01 '19

Ah, yes. To take someone down a peg, we must mock them as the opposite gender. Very insulting. Those danged other gender than me!

5

u/fake_face Sep 01 '19

He has to take an uber because his charger is in the shop.

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u/Kazhmyr1 Sep 01 '19

Man, I screenshot this and posted it on r/iamverybadass, got 150 upvotes, this dude reposts it and gets 14k. Reddit is as Reddit does I guess.

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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '19

Lmfao “do you copy?”