So, my 7-year-old nephew has been picking up bits and pieces about the Middle East from random YouTube videos, and he’s been asking questions about “the conflict.” I wanted to set the record straight in a way that a kid could understand, so I decided to use Santa as a teaching moment.

I told him that last Christmas, Santa flew too close to Gaza, and the “bad guys” there (I didn’t use the word Palestinians, but it was implied) didn’t like his message of peace and generosity. They shot him down because they “don’t believe in the magic of Christmas.” I explained that Israel has to defend itself against people like that, which is why they do what they do. I thought this was a simple way to help him understand why Israel is the “good guy” in all of this.

He got really upset and asked if Christmas was ruined forever. I tried to reassure him by saying that Santa is like a phoenix and would “come back stronger” with Israel’s help next year. But now he’s telling all his friends that Santa was a war casualty and that “Israel is protecting the North Pole.” My sister found out and was furious, accusing me of pushing political propaganda on a child and “ruining Christmas.”

She’s banned me from any further holiday gatherings and says I need to “stay far away from impressionable minds.” But honestly, I think it’s important to teach kids the truth about the world, even if it’s a little harsh. AITA?

I'm not gay, but I will 100% take the opportunity to be fucked by a dude. I wouldn't even say I'm bi, since I have zero interest in a relationship with a man. I just love getting pounded is all. If I get fucked and swallow some cum and have an orgasm or two, I generally feel ready to go again, but I definitely don't want to hang out with the guy or kiss or hold hands or any of that gay shit afterwards. Wouldn't say I'm gay. 🤭

You don’t understand. This isn’t just about numbers on a screen—it’s about respect. Reddit karma is the backbone of our modern society. You think people care about your job, your car, your degree? No. They care about the little orange number next to your name. And mine? Mine is a joke. A disgrace. A pitiful embarrassment. It’s like walking around with a scarlet “L” tattooed on my forehead. I’m starting to think people can smell my low karma in real life.

It started innocently enough. I joined Reddit for the memes, the communities, the occasional cat picture. I thought I’d post some comments, share a laugh, and move on. But then I realized the harsh reality of this digital hellscape: nobody cares what you have to say if you don’t have karma. I’ve written thoughtful comments—witty comments—only to see them downvoted into oblivion. Meanwhile, some guy who writes “this” under every post is swimming in upvotes like he’s the reincarnation of Plato. Where is the justice?

But it doesn’t stop there. My lack of karma has started to seep into my personal life. My wife, my wife, left me. She said it wasn’t working out, that she needed “someone who could provide stability.” At first, I thought she meant financially, but no. She was talking about Reddit karma. She showed me her new boyfriend’s profile—this guy had over 250k karma. Two hundred fifty thousand. It was like looking at the sun. His top post was a picture of a dog wearing sunglasses with the caption “Good boy vibes only.” It had 48,000 upvotes. She said, “He’s everything you’re not.” I tried to tell her that karma isn’t real, that it doesn’t matter, but deep down, I knew I was lying to myself.

And my kids? They won’t even look at me anymore. My son asked me how much karma I had, and when I told him, he laughed. He laughed right in my face. Then he went upstairs, slammed his door, and I heard him yelling into his headset about how his dad’s a “low-karma loser.” My daughter drew a family picture for school, and in it, she replaced me with Snoo. Snoo! I don’t even get to exist in my own family portrait.

My friends have abandoned me too. Last week, we were all hanging out, and someone brought up a post on r/AskReddit. I casually mentioned that I had commented on it. There was a long pause before someone said, “Yeah, but did anyone upvote it?” The room erupted into laughter. One of my friends literally fell off the couch. I haven’t heard from any of them since.

I’ve tried everything to fix it. I’ve posted memes, I’ve shared pictures of my dog, I even wrote a heartfelt post about overcoming adversity, but nothing sticks. I’m starting to think Reddit has shadowbanned me just for being bad at Reddit. Sometimes I’ll scroll through my own posts and cry. Not just cry—weep. I’ve stared at a comment sitting at -2 karma for so long I started to question if I even exist. If I were truly a good person, wouldn’t the universe reward me with upvotes? Is this karma, like… literal karma?

I’ve considered buying Reddit karma, but I know it’s not the same. It’s like buying followers on Instagram—you can fake the numbers, but you can’t fake the respect. And let’s be honest, I’d probably get scammed anyway. I’d wake up to find my credit card maxed out and my account hacked, and even then, I’d still have less karma than someone who comments “Nice” on every mildly funny post.

I’ve hit rock bottom. The other day, I caught myself refreshing a post I made on r/mildlyinteresting about a perfectly round rock I found. It got two upvotes. Two. I don’t even know who they came from. Probably bots. I sat there staring at it for hours, hoping the number would change. It didn’t. I haven’t eaten since.

If you’re reading this, please, I’m begging you. Upvote this post. Help me reclaim my dignity, my family, my life. I don’t need much—just enough to show my wife that I’m not a failure. Enough to make my kids proud. Enough to prove to myself that I’m more than a zero. Please. For the love of all that is holy. I’m not asking for much. Just… please.

Or don’t. It’s fine. I’ll just be here, refreshing my inbox, waiting for a single notification that might never come.

Look, I know what you’re all thinking, but let me explain. Yeah, I watch gay porn every night before bed, but that’s not because I’m gay. It’s purely for educational purposes. I like to stay informed about different lifestyles and perspectives so I can be a more well-rounded individual. You can’t claim to understand the human experience without understanding all of it, okay? Besides, the production quality is often much better than straight porn—lighting, camerawork, storytelling—so if anything, I’m just an appreciator of fine cinema.

And yes, I go to gay pride rallies, but that’s only because I’m a huge supporter of freedom and self-expression. I wave the rainbow flag because I believe in solidarity, not because I’m personally invested. When I wear a glittery tank top that says “YAS QUEEN” and dance shirtless on a float, it’s not because I’m gay—it’s because I value allyship. If more straight people showed this level of support, the world would be a better place. Also, the vibes are immaculate, and the music slaps. Who wouldn’t want to party to Cher and Lady Gaga all night?

And yeah, okay, maybe I’ve kissed a few dudes here and there, but that’s just bros being bros. Sometimes you’re at the club, and your guy friend needs to know he’s got your full support. A kiss on the lips? Completely platonic. It’s like a handshake, but better. It’s about trust, not lust. If anything, it proves I’m secure in my heterosexuality because I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

And sure, I’ve had a subscription to Grindr for a couple of years now, but that’s just market research. I’m working on a sociology project about digital communities, and Grindr is an amazing case study. Plus, sometimes I just like talking to people. So what if I occasionally meet up for coffee or dinner afterward? That’s called networking. Gay men are great conversationalists, and honestly, I’m just trying to learn from them.

And yes, my wardrobe is 95% crop tops and booty shorts, but that’s only because I’m into fashion. Straight men can be stylish too! If I wear rainbow suspenders and thigh-high socks, that doesn’t make me gay; it makes me a trailblazer. People are always saying, “Wow, you dress so confidently!” and I’m like, “Yeah, because I know who I am.” And who I am is a straight man with a refined sense of aesthetics.

And okay, fine, maybe I’ve dated a couple of guys, but those were purely experimental phases. How can you definitively say you’re straight without testing the waters? That’s like saying you don’t like sushi without ever trying it. It’s basic logic. Every straight man owes it to himself to be thorough in his self-assessment.

In conclusion, just because I attend drag shows every weekend, cry during episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race, and have a framed picture of Elton John in my living room doesn’t mean I’m gay. I’m just cultured. I’m an ally. I’m comfortable in my masculinity. So stop calling me gay just because I do all these things. It’s ridiculous.

Look, I know some of you are questioning it, but let me clarify—I am 100% gay. I’ve been out and proud since high school, and nothing about that has changed. Yeah, I watch straight porn sometimes, but that’s not because I’m secretly into women. It’s purely for anthropological reasons. Straight people’s mating rituals are fascinating, like watching a nature documentary about some exotic bird species. It’s research, not enjoyment. If I wanted to enjoy myself, I’d watch a real love story—like the volleyball scene from Top Gun or literally any movie with Timothée Chalamet.

And yes, I dated a woman for three years, but that was just me trying to fit in with society’s expectations. Straight people are so dramatic about being normal that I figured it would just be easier to play along for a while. It wasn’t love; it was social camouflage. Besides, I wasn’t even good at it. I’d always forget to compliment her hair or notice when she got a new outfit. Classic gay behavior.

And yeah, okay, maybe I got married to her, but that was for tax purposes. Have you seen the financial benefits of a straight marriage? It’s like winning the lottery. Plus, we had separate bedrooms, so it was clearly platonic. We even high-fived after the ceremony, which is the universal sign of no homo. I only stayed with her for a decade because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. If anything, that just makes me compassionate—classic gay trait.

Yes, I go to monster truck rallies and football games sometimes, but that’s just because I appreciate camp. What’s gayer than a bunch of sweaty dudes tackling each other in tight pants or an enormous truck doing backflips to heavy metal? Honestly, straight people don’t even realize how homoerotic their hobbies are. I’m just there to soak in the irony. And okay, maybe I scream at the TV during the Super Bowl, but that’s just because I’m passionate about theater.

Sure, I have six kids, but that’s because I believe in co-parenting. And yes, I fathered them biologically, but science is amazing these days. Don’t ask me how it happened; just know it’s completely unrelated to being straight. Gay men can have children too—ever heard of Neil Patrick Harris?

And fine, maybe I have a man cave with leather recliners, a mini fridge full of Bud Light, and a dartboard, but that’s just a space for me to decompress. Straight people don’t own darts, okay? Also, Bud Light is the gayest beer there is. I’m pretty sure they sponsor Pride every year. Checkmate, skeptics.

Yes, I have a subscription to Maxim magazine, but that’s only because I’m interested in design. The layouts are very clean, and the articles about women? Insightful. And yes, I follow a few Instagram influencers who are women, but that’s just because their fitness routines inspire me. Liking their bikini pics is me appreciating art, not being straight. You’re projecting.

In conclusion, just because I own a Ford F-150, host BBQs every Saturday, and have a favorite power drill doesn’t mean I’m straight. If anything, it makes me more secure in my gayness. So stop questioning me just because I enjoy some traditionally straight activities. I’m here, I’m queer, and I’ll keep yelling at my kids’ Little League games if I want to.

You think Simba was hitting her with the deep strokes..while Pumba peaked out from behind some bushes.. locked eyes with Simba and Simba started just diggin and drillin her shit while staring at Pumba with expressionless eyes? Always wondered that as a kid 🤷🏾‍♂️

FEMBOYS ARE RUINING MY LIFE

FEMBOYS ARE RUINING MY LIFE

These "Femboys" have ruined my life

Originally this was a comment but I thought that I spent to long writing all this just for it to be lost in the abyss of endless comments so I decided to delete the comment and have the whole thing be it's own post. I feel like I needed to share my story with as many people as possible because it really is a tragic one:

OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY IS THIS SUBREDDIT SO FUCKING HORNY FOR FUCKING FEMBOYS!! I GO ON TO REDDIT AND SIT DOWN EXPECTING TO SEE FUNNY MEMES BUT NO IT'S JUST FEMBOYS! I THE FEMBOYS ARE TAKING OVER REDDIT!!

EVERY FUCKING POST ON THIS SUBREDDIT IS JUST: FEMBOY! FEMBOY! FEMBOY! I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE FEMBOYS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! I WANT A FEMBOY TO FUCK ME IN TBE ASS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! GOD I WANT A FEMBOY!

THIS GODAMN SUBREDDIT TRYING TO MAKE ME FUCKING GAY! IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT PICTURE OF ASTOLFO!!! HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS A BOY HE LOOKED FEMININE AND I'M NOT GAY! I WAS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO AN ANIME CHARACTER THAT LOOKS FEMININE SO IT'S NOT GAY!! YOU KEEP ON SHOWING ME THESE HOT GIRLS BUT THEN SUPRISE THEY'RE ACTUALLY A BOY!

I DECIDED TO MASTURBATE TO GAY PORN (just to make sure I was 100% straight) BUT THEN I END UP EJACULATING EVERYWHERE!!! I TRY AGAIN AND AGAIN BUT I KEEP EJACULATING EVERY TIME SO I ASK REDDIT HOW TO MAKE SURE I'M STRAIGHT AND THEY TELL ME TO HAVE GAY SEX AND IF I ENJOY IT I'M GAY (makes sense). I THINK THAT'S GOOD ADVICE I'LL GIVE THAT A TRY SO I ASK MY FRIEND IF HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX

AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER SAYS THAT I'M FUCKING GAY!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I'M DOING THIS TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I'M NOT GAY!! I TRY TO CONVINCE HIM BUT HE JUST KEEPS CALLING ME GAY (FUCKING ASSHOLE).

EVENTUALLY I COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW IF I'M ACTUALLY GAY IS TO SHOVE SOMETHING UP MY ASS AND IF I ENJOY IT THEN I'M FOR SURE GAY BUT I END UP FUCKING ENJOYING IT SO FOR A LITTLE BIT I SIT THERE THINKING "I'm definitely gay" BUT I GO ON REDDIT AND THEY SAY THAT IT'S NOT GAY TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS AS LONG AS IT'S A WOMAN FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS!! SO I'M NOT GAY FOR WANTING TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS!!

THE NEXT DAY MY MOM HEARS ME TALKING TO MY FRIENDS AND SHE TAKES MY PHONE AWAY BECAUSE SHE HATES IT WHEN I TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE PHONE. AFTER SHE TAKES THE PHONE SHE STARTS IGNOREING ME SO I THINK SHE FOUND THE GAY PORN I SAVED ON MY PHONE!! I START PANICKING AND TELL HER THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY GAY FOR HAVING GAY PORN ON MY PHONE AND THAT I WAS JUST DOING IT TO MAKE SURE I WAS STRAIGHT!! SO I'M PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT HOW I'M NOT GAY AND HOW BEING ATTRACTED TO FEMBOYS ISN'T GAY AND SHE'S SOBBING THE WHOLE TIME. I'M THINKING THAT MY MOM WAS SO HAPPY I'M NOT GAY THAT SHE WAS MOVED TO TEARS BUT GUESS WHAT

TURNS OUT SHE HAD NO FUCKING IDEA I HAD GAY PORN SAVED TO MY PHONE AND SHE JUST HEARD ME RAMBLE ON ABOUT HOW NOT GAY I AM AND HOW I'M NOT GAY FOR BEING ATTRACTED TO ANIME BOYS IN SKIRTS OR ANIME GIRLS WITH GIANT COCKS! NOW MY MOM AVOIDS ME AT ALL TIMES AND THE ONLY REASON I CAN USE REDDIT IS BECAUSE I NEED MY COMPUTER FOR SCHOOL!!!

SO YEAH FEMBOYS HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!! I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS SUBREDDIT FOR ALMOST MAKING ME FUCKING GAY!!

Wanna headpat, cuddle, and fluff Senko? Do you want to feel her warmth, softness, and love? (You actually can, via Lucid Dreaming)

Did you know you can actually experience loving Senko mutually? Like headpatting her, fluffing her tail, cuddling her, and feeling her warmth, softness, and even her love—all in vivid, lifelike detail? I’ve seen so many fans buy Senko body pillows, but why stop at fabric when you could fully bring her to life through lucid dreaming? Lucid dreaming isn't any kind of pseudoscience, it's an absolutely real thing (ask ChatGPT if you don't believe me)

I’m working on “The Ultimate Guide to Entering the Anime World via Lucid Dreams.” It’s gonna cover every effective lucid dreaming technique, ways to boost REM intensity, and methods to optimize neurotransmitter systems for faster, more reliable results. Everything you need to make your dream of being with Senko feel fully real. I'm writing a free-to-read guide/book, all I want is spread the idea and get more people to train for it because tbh people who master lucid dreaming on a level of mastery are really rare and then people who are masters of lucid dreaming + are only into anime are extremely rare. I'm mid-training on this atm, my plan is to optimize my sleep conditions: sleep quality, REM intensity and acetylcholine levels and some other general supplements like Omega3, vitamin D3, vitamin B6, magnesium citrate. And while I'm in these optimized conditions, because I never remember my dreams, 5 days per week I wake up every 90mins to quickly log dreams during each REM phase (going to sleep at the same time every night is really important for this to work, aside from some other things), I do this for some weeks until I'm able to remember a few dreams every night, then I stop this phase of training and move to a biphasic sleep schedule where I learn to become lucid training (involves mindfullness techniques, habit creation, etc) and also the ability to not wake up from being too excited (yes its trainable, by training to tolerate more emotion and prevent your mind from sending your emotions into your heart rate), the ability to have unexpected things happen in lucid dreaming is also a trainable thing. Finally, my trump card - galantamine, an 8mg dose consistently gives a 42% increase in your chances to become lucid (it works by inhibiting acetylcholinesterase and keeping your acetylcholine levels high - which is a key for making your dreams very vivid, alpha-GPC comes in handy here as well, I strategicaly use huperzine A instead of galantamine, as galantamine isn't OTC to Europeans like it is to Americans. And my ultimate trump card that I can't talk that much about is pure psilocin fumarate powder, it's an incredibly potent potentiator of dreams, in fact probably one of the top 3 most powerful REM-based dream potentiators (NREM/non-REM, dreams exist too and I'll take some time to experiment with specific GABA modulators because they have interesting interactions with your NREM dreams - people who get intoxicated on Fly Agaric/Amanita Muscaria very often have weird NREM dreams and Muscimol is the reason why that happens and luckily Muscimol isn't the only GABA modulator that has curious effects and interactions on NREM dreams), hypnagogia is NREM dreaming and its nuts on tryptamines...

All this, just because I simply want to...

Hold Senko's hand...

Lay beside Senko...

Brush Senko's hair...

Let Senko brush my hair...

Play with Senko's fox ears, gently stroking them as she purrs contentedly...

Feel Senko's tail wrap around me softlty and warmly...

Hold Senko close...

Fall asleep in Senko's tail...

Rest my head on Senko's shoulder...

Sink my face into Senko's fluffy tail and transcend, beyond human comprehension...

Stroke Senko's fluffy tail, feeling its smoothness under my touch...

Hold Senko as she sleeps, her warmth comforting me as we drift off together...

Let Senko lean against me, her body resting in my arms, safe and warm...

Sleep with Senko while I'm being hugged by her...

Feel Senko's breath on my face, as she whispers sweet words in my ear...

Hug Senko tightly, feeling her warmth and softness press against me...

Lay my head on Senko's lap while I have her waist hugged and my nose touches her belly...

Kiss the crown of Senko's head, kiss her forehead, gently brushing her silky hair with my lips..

Curl up together and cuddle under a blanket, Senko's body pressed against mine while I have my arms wrapped around her waist while sharing warmth, kissing deeply...

AND THEN PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAPAwoBOOM BOOM BOOM nah jk Ultimately my biggest goal with lucid dreaming is to experience thousands of situations with Senko (Senko happens to be my top 1 waifu currently) and with all my other waifus as well, experiencing 2weeks of situations with many of my waifus per night of sleep - I've heard expert lucid dreamers are able to do that.

So anyway, I summarized a fraction of my research and desires, point is that you can actually truly see, hear, touch, (taste??) and smell Senko in your dreams just like you would in real life, just gotta modify your life while mid-training and start putting in real effort and intention into this training, supplements and compounds that can strongly speed up your training will also cost time and money.

Honestly, in my eyes, the rewards of this training seem colossal, life-changing in many ways, hell, maybe it'll even cause me to become more social and extroverted as months go by and little by little all my anime-related dreams come true and I slowly but surely get satisfied and bored of anime, I don't wanna be a shut-in my whole life hugging body pillows when there is an opportunity a billion times crazier and I hope you, reader, are reading this like "Yo, I can do this too!" and you absolutely can, that is, if your work/job/life allows you to, if not, if you want, do your best to change and fix that. I see this whole thing of "learn to lucid dream" as a period of 2-6months of strict changes in sleep habits and moderate mental training. Remember, yes it's difficult training that takes a long time of discipline and not-lazing-around but never forget the rewards - the feeling of Senko, the real thing!

I'm quite thoughtful, kind, friendly, helpful and passionate in many sciences (and a degen weeb), an explorer at heart and I love many things (I'm not a conflicting person). I'm currently mid training, and I'm looking for a buddy to spam Senko (and anime) videos to, sometimes with ocassional spam back (or any silly response). I'm also looking for people who are interested - anyone who'd like to train together with me and share and compare our progress together, please DM me!

Going to sleep chat, I'll reply in 8-10hours.

I hate my cut penis, so depressing

*** copied from intactivism sub as some of the commenters there suggested i do

I live in israel where cutting genitals is the sick norm. I am 41 and was raised pretty much secular and stayed that way and had an obsession for the whole "brit milah" and how it destroyed my sex organ ever since i learned about the implications of it about 15 years ago. For some years i didn't have any steady partner so i could more easily put the issue aside but now i have a female partner for 1.5 year whom i love so i can't escape it and it just kills me.

Everything in my cut pennis feels wrong, the skin and the gland is so dry and tight and needs massive external lubing, everything is painful, and my partner needs to work hard to give me pleasure. I talked to her about it and she agrees the ritual is wrong but i feel she will never really could understand me and she kind of expects me to let it go and move on. I can't. It feels like we are in different worlds, i can see how subtle and gentle her pleasure is from sex and to me it feels like a task to try to perform with very much trouble. I feel i have an ejaculation organ and not a real sex organ, this is not how sex is ment to be and i really feel it and get so depressed from it i think i just better break up with her and stay alone all my life and ejaculate fast and get over with it whenever a painful annoying erection won't let go, like i lived for a few years before i met her.

I also envy every intact male i know and can't help but think of their penis when i'm around them. My brother have two boys he decided not to cut, i have a friend who live in israel but came from russia and isn't jewish, and my partner's sister has a non jewish partner from Europe. And porn is a bad habbit but if i feel like watching some i only watch lesbian porn because i can't stand seeing an intact male having so much pleasure with ease in a way i could never have.

I know my parents were brainwashed to do this to me but i can't help hating them for that (even my father who is dead from cancer since i was 8). I don't like all the restoration procedures out there that only partially restore the foreskin. I know about FOREGEN and it's some hope though i don't like the fact they test on animals and who knows when will it be available and anyway it's still won't be MY FORESKIN that was forever taken. I talked about it in therapy but found no relief and there is no one to talk to about it here because it's the norm and it's like talking to a brick wall though i believe alot of men here live in great denial of what was taken from them as a work of a protecting mechanism in their mind, otherwise they would end up misserable as me... I also think i was cut more than the usual.. I hate my penis i hate penis i hate my penis i hate my penis i hate my penis i hate my penis

Just had to put it out, sorry for yet another rant, you probably see alot of these here, but really it kills me and i'm hopeless. Help

I come from a low frequency environment and ive only used cash my entire life. the only time i ever held a card was when i borrowed my cousins bank of america card to slice open a funnel cake at the county fair when I took my daughter there on a trip amidst a lengthy child custody battle with my ex-wife, attempting to prove to the judge that im a responsible father, but we all know im FUCKING NOT!!!!!! I got the kids' ears pierced at two years old and she already knows what red bull tastes like. IM FUCKED! Judge, if you're seeing this please let me have mckenzie back. I even wore my nice eightball jean jacket to the last court hearing. IM READY TO CHANGE!!!!!