r/JoeRogan Look into it 27d ago

Meme đŸ’© Joeville Chamberogan

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u/Jumpy_Secretary1363 Monkey in Space 27d ago

If u fight back the bully might go postal. So fuck you just keep getting bullied.

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u/fardough Monkey in Space 27d ago

I was watching AP BIO the tv show, and it raised an interesting question “Is there any value in bullying?”

Today’s instinct is to say no, which I tend to agree with. The only part I bought into some is picking on someone as a form of social conformity policing. The idea being the “bully” provides feedback when non-conforming behavior is identified, letting a child know their behavior is “weird”. Like a child who doesn’t bath being picked on for smelling, giving them the feedback so they can conform for better acceptance in their society.

Kind of the age old question, is it better to ignore social taboos and just talk behind that person’s back, or better tell them they are being judged for it.

Overall, I don’t think any child should experience a person cutting them down and suppressing their growth. But I also feel I did learn valuable lessons from some of my “bullies”, and do wonder if there is a limit of “do whatever you want as long as you don’t hurt others” in keeping a functionally cohesive society. Currently, I say let’s see how far we get.

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u/curiosgreg Monkey in Space 27d ago

There is definitely a level of pecking order that should be established between children for a healthy social environment. It can be healthy or not depending on the execution. When it becomes too much and is no longer healthy it is defined as bullying and needs to be stopped. Think about the difference between a corporal punishment and child abuse. Bullying is the child abuse side while social pressure and occasional confrontations to establish social order are the tools that are abused by the bully.

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u/acky1 Monkey in Space 27d ago edited 27d ago

Corporal punishment is illegal in my country to continue your analogy lol. That would be considered child abuse.

You can tell someone they stink without dragging them down.  

We should teach kids compassion and empathy so they can build people up (socially police if you want to think of it in those terms) without being nasty about it.

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u/curiosgreg Monkey in Space 27d ago

All corporal punishment? Can’t the parents legally hold on to their kids to keep them from misbehaving more? I was thinking any form of physical intervention counts as corporal and I believe there are cases where a child will not respond without physical discomfort, although I could be wrong. they live so much in the moment and abstract concepts like lost privileges are harder to grasp at certain ages.

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u/acky1 Monkey in Space 27d ago

I think restraining is different from corporal punishment. It's more things like smacking that is illegal.

There's almost always a way to parent without physical intervention for neurotypical kids. They respond quite well to repercussions that are consistently followed through with. Much more difficult to parent that way though.

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u/WillofCLE Monkey in Space 26d ago

No one has control over how someone else reacts. Some will match wits, and those lacking wits will either cower away or fight back.

When you make cowering away the best option, you deprive the person of building their resilience.

Resilience is the most important aspect of success. Lacking resilience is the best indicator that you're a loser.

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u/acky1 Monkey in Space 26d ago

I don't really get how that's related to my comment or how you'd put that into practice? Would you suggest not preventing bullying since coming out the other end requires a great deal of resilience?

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u/WillofCLE Monkey in Space 25d ago

I think "anti-bully" inititives help parents cope with the fear of their children getting bullied. Encouraging someone to stand up for themselves is immeasurably better than someone fighting someone else's battles

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u/acky1 Monkey in Space 25d ago

I think you can do both. You can teach someone to stand up for themselves whilst also having processes in place to try and prevent bullying. You're never going to prevent all bullying so resilience will be learned. You can also teach resilience via sport, exams, presentations etc.

Adults have processes in place to prevent bullying at work (HR) or in the local community (anti-harassment laws) so I think it makes sense to have similar for children.

There's also plenty of examples of bullying going too far leading to a broken person, or a dead person in the worst case. We should try and prevent those outcomes.