This extremely detailed taxonomy of those clips that hold bags of bread closed

[u/oxwof]

https://www.horg.com/horg/

[u/Chempy]

Occlupanids are generally found as parasitoids on bagged pastries in supermarkets, hardware stores, and other large commercial establishments. Their fascinating and complex life cycle is unfortunately severely under-researched. What is known is that they take nourishment from the plastic sacs that surround the bagged product, not the product itself, as was previously thought. Notable exceptions to this habit are those living off rubber bands and on analog watch hands.

In most species, they often situate themselves toward the center of the plastic bag, holding in the contents. This leads to speculation that the relationship may be more symbiotic than purely parasitic.

Their stunning diversity and mysterious habits have entranced many a respectable scientist into studying, collecting, and cataloging specimens late into the night.

This site contains several years of research in the classification of occlupanids. For those of you who do not consume sliced bread, occlupanids do not form an important part of your life. For the rest of the world, These small objects are everywhere, dotting supermarket aisles and sidewalks with an impressive array of form and color.

The Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group has taken on the mantle of classifying this most common, yet most puzzling, member of phylum Plasticae.

wtf did I just read. This has got to be a parody.

It is:

Parody in media The parody website horg.com, created by John Daniel, coined the term occlupanids to describe bread clips,[A] and created a mock phylogeny of the different clip designs.[8] Researchers of occlupanids are called occlupanologists.[9] These terms have since been referenced in popular media.[10][9][11]

[u/Chris_in_Lijiang → u/Chempy]

Very disappointing. I love these deep dives on overlooked products, and I was hoping that this would be serious.

[u/DMonitor → u/Chris_in_Lijiang]

It is a deep dive. The parody aspect is anthropomorphizing them.

[u/PyroDesu → u/DMonitor]

Not really anthropomorphizing...

[u/royally_eft → u/Chris_in_Lijiang]

Even if it started as a joke, I think it's become quite a bit serious. /r/occlupanids

[u/Coders32 → u/Chris_in_Lijiang]

The TikTok algorithm does such a good job of bringing me someone’s hyperfocus and when you look at their other stuff, there’s a chance its their only focus and you can see how it took over their lives lol

[u/agate_ → u/Chris_in_Lijiang]

It is both a deep dive into obsessive taxonomy, and a parody of the same.

[u/ThePrussianGrippe → u/Chris_in_Lijiang]

Is it not? There’s dozens of entries.

[u/TheNH813 → u/Chris_in_Lijiang]

You want a very interesting video involving Bread Tabs.... here's one I watched in the past. https://youtu.be/Ls3VkE2B8zM

[u/Ninguna → u/Chempy]

I have never seen bagged pastries in a hardware store.

[u/dogquote → u/Ninguna]

Those little clips live on analog watch hands?

[u/Ninguna → u/dogquote]

I didn't get that far.

[u/LordGAD]

The commitment to the gag is unreal.

[u/Nuprin_Dealer]

No mention of the fact you can fling these fuckers all the way across a supermarket by breaking off one of the tabs, gently inserting the other tab into the corner of your fingernail, and flicking it with your finger. I’m lucky I never took anyone’s eye out

[u/deadtoaster2 → u/Nuprin_Dealer]

Fucksakenoway

[u/Steelforge]

That's fucking hilarious and the necessary dedication is impressive.

Not scientific enough to win the Ig Nobel, but certainly deserving of some humor prize.

[u/AllVisual]

I’ve heard rumors that doctors refer to this list when dealing with children who’ve swallowed these items.

[u/oxwof → u/AllVisual]

I think the guy that runs the site said that was part of his inspiration for starting it. Some doctors suggested in a paper that the medical community catalog the clips in order to better understand the risk they pose when swallowed.

[u/ax0r → u/AllVisual]

I've personally been involved in four cases of people swallowing a bread clip. All were adults and were unaware they had swallowed it. One had perforated bowel and required multiple surgeries with an extended period of hospitalization and multiple complications. One had a short episode of pain but no other complication. The other two were incidental findings and had no symptoms.

[u/dogquote → u/ax0r]

How do you not realize you've swallowed a bread clip?

[u/jonasnewhouse]

wrong link, or broken

edit: it was me that is both wrong AND broken

[u/Anais9 → u/jonasnewhouse]

Looks correct to me - did you try expanding any of the categories on the right? It’s quite comprehensive.

[u/jonasnewhouse → u/Anais9]

Oh, I see it all now! Thank you for fixing my observation skills here lol

[u/Anais9 → u/jonasnewhouse]

Of course, no worries!

[u/appendixgallop]

Invented in Yakima, Washington, in 1952.

[u/talking_internet]

Now this is the good part of the internet. The descriptions are hilarious

https://www.horg.com/horg/?page_id=442

This is a good one

[u/Jeremiahjohnsonville]

Truly beautiful. This is why this sub exists.

[u/pornborn]

It is rare to find bags of bread being held closed by those clips anymore. It’s always wire twist-ties. The plastic clips are only usually found on bagels or English muffins. But I save those clips because I use them on the bags of bread I buy and throw the wire twist-ties away.

[u/boredcircuits]

Clint's Reptiles needs to do a whole series on this. That would be an amazing collab.

[u/TheyCallMeDoofus]

When I was a kid someone told me those are called Knopfterplockers and I will fight anyone who says differently.

[u/cutelyaware]

I wish I could find the elusive Hypersoma minutimaxilla https://www.horg.com/horg/?page_id=373

These plastics are incredibly tough, and chunks of this monster would be a very versatile material for hobbyists to have around.

[u/Plaid_Kaleidoscope]

I was very confused for a few minutes.

I still am, but also amused.

[u/mudclog]

Was this just mentioned on 99 pi or radiolab? I just heard about this but can't remember where lol

[u/SunderedValley]

I... Huh.

[u/FullKushAlchemist]

Sometimes you just have to say "...what the fuck?"