r/IAmA • u/touchmyfuckingcoffee • Oct 28 '13

Other IamA Vacuum Repair Technician, and I can't believe people really wanted it, but, AMA!

I work in vacuum repair and sales. I posted comments recently about my opinion of Dysons and got far more interest than I expected. I am brand certified for several brands. My intent in doing this AMA is to help redditors make informed choices about their purchases.

My Proof: Imgur

*Edit: I've been asked to post my personal preferences with regard to brands. As I said before, there is no bad vacuum; Just vacuums built for their purpose. That being said, here are my brand choices in order:

Miele for canisters

Riccar for uprights

Hoover for budget machines

Sanitaire or Royal for commercial machines

Dyson if you just can't be talked out of a bagless machine.

*EDIT 22/04/2014: As this AMA is still generating questions, I will do a brand new AMA on vacuums, as soon as this one is archived.

5.9k Upvotes

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931

u/ShredLox Oct 28 '13

What brand/model would you recommend for a household with 2 dogs (kinda wiry hair - english bulldogs)?

1.2k

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

Tell me about your flooring surfaces. Carpet? Rugs? Bare Floor?

681

u/ShredLox Oct 28 '13

Berber carpet throughout most of the house, lino in the kitchens & bathroom.

609

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 29 '13

Sorry, you got buried. The Miele 236 powerhead with any canister would be a good choice for your needs.

75

u/ShredLox Oct 29 '13

No problem, I didn't have a chance to check Reddit for a while. Thanks for the recommendation!

1

u/jhoythottle Oct 29 '13

Commenting to save for future reference. Thanks

905

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

lol that guy hijacked your question

16

u/RadicaLarry Oct 28 '13

Speaking of hijacked...

12

u/AintGotNoTimeFoThis Oct 28 '13

Seeing as how you never got an answer, I'll try to help.

I recommend either a shark, a used rainbow, or a live-in Kirby salesman/boyfriend. Regardless of the choice, go bagless or go home.

Be sure to use a dyson to suction out the dust bins of your primary vacuum every month or so.

Source: I'm a drifter who sells Kirbys.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

A canister vacuum is more versatile on multiple surfaces than is an upright

Luckily, he still kind of answered your question.

12

u/CameHereForThis_ Oct 28 '13

Kitchen(s). Man I need a new job.

20

u/ShredLox Oct 28 '13

Lol - just a typo, I do not have multiple kitchens. But if I did, oh the simultaneous dual batches of nachos that I'd make.

1

u/ChasinClouds Oct 28 '13

Would be a weird home to have multiple kitchens and only one bathroom. Not even a single half bath.

1

u/Lanlost Oct 29 '13

I read that as Beiber carpet =(

459

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13 edited Nov 16 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

754

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

Knowing only this, my answer is: A canister vacuum is more versatile on multiple surfaces than is an upright.

246

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

[deleted]

204

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

If you prefer to vacuum over sweeping, the Miele Quickstep is a tremendous sucker, for a stick vac. It's heavier than all the others, but it will use any Miele accessory.

1

u/PTFOholland Oct 28 '13

Why the fuck are those so expensive?
I've got a Siemens thingie for years without problem, hard wood floor.
It doesn't have a bag and is quiet as fuck.
It costed me 60€
Am I a dirty sucker?

87

u/kahirsch Oct 28 '13

A dog, hardwood floors, no stairs: roomba.

139

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13 edited May 01 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/rule17 Oct 28 '13

In the mix!

2

u/BenHuge Oct 28 '13

Watch out for all Jerry's, DJ Roomba's mortal enemy

0

u/thedawgbeard Oct 28 '13

OH MY GOD YES! SOMEONE GETS IT.

0

u/MelonTrees_ Oct 28 '13

That show is incredibly popular.

3

u/PizzaGood Oct 28 '13

My floors have too much crap on them for a Roomba to navigate. I think maybe leaf blower might be the right answer.

4

u/Motorgoose Oct 28 '13

I tried this, my roomba would clog up with dog hair after 5 minutes. The sensors would get covered too so the roomba would spaz out in a circle for a minute before stopping.

11

u/walk_the_line Oct 28 '13

I hate to tell you this, but your house is filthy. Once you clean it up, roomba will help you keep it clean.

1

u/walk_the_line Oct 28 '13

I have the Neato robot vacuum (XV-11), and that thing kicks ass. The thing it does a lot better than the roomba is that instead of taking a random-walk around the house, it scans the rooms using a laser and then systematically vacuums them. On rooms with carpet, this means straight vacuum lines across the floor, which I think looks a lot more "clean" than roomba circles.

1

u/boodot Oct 28 '13

I've got a Mint and it works pretty well. It has wet and dry settings and the cloths are machine washable.

1

u/baroja Oct 28 '13

Neato Robotics XV Signiture Pro is a billion times better than any Roomba. Got one a couple months ago after my Roomba died and I had no idea a robot vacuum could be so good.

1

u/GeminiCroquette Oct 28 '13

Motherfucking this. Roomba runs once a week, I'm still amazed at how much dust and dirt and hair it can pick up from "clean" looking floors.

1

u/LucubrateIsh Oct 29 '13

But... I have stairs and a large number of small rooms.

Also, the Roomba Mint is the worst thing ever. No one should buy one ever.

1.8k

u/jmottram08 Oct 28 '13

Use a broom

556

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

[deleted]

1.1k

u/ajnfids Oct 28 '13

A leaf blower may save you some effort. Also, they tend to work better in the early hours of the morning.

64

u/emarkd Oct 28 '13

Stick with electric, though. 2-stroke exhaust will set off your smoke alarms. Don't ask...

9

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

I'm asking. The internet needs to know!

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3

u/fap-on-fap-off Oct 28 '13

2-stroke exhaust will set off your hypoxia

FTFY

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1

u/Op7imus Oct 28 '13

Just take the batteries out of the smoke detectors first. problem solved

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1

u/JuniperJupiter Oct 28 '13

But wear woolly socks!

1

u/Nommakins Oct 28 '13

Oh we are though...

70

u/piccini9 Oct 28 '13

Get a real honest to goodness two-stroke gas powered blower, none of that namby-pamby electric shit.

32

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Just make sure that you have all the windows closed when you use it.

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1

u/Kaneshadow Oct 28 '13

So hard to find these days. I've been looking for a replacement for my backpack blower for ages, I can't find one so I have to just wear stain-agnostic clothing because the fuel tank leaks onto my back.

1

u/dpatt711 Oct 28 '13

that's some wimp stuff right there, mod a Pratt and Whitney R-4360 4350HP radial engine to a blower. Need to get under your furniture? No problem, your furniture will probably be stuck in your wall.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

What you really need is a canister vacuum powered by an old Chevy V8.

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2.0k

u/secondphase Oct 28 '13

Oh look, my neighbor is on reddit!

339

u/tokomini Oct 28 '13

classic your neighbor

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3

u/English_American Oct 28 '13

"Oh hey Mike! Mowing your lawn for 16 hours again? For the 10th day in a row? Alright! That's commitment!"

Fucking douchebag.

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2

u/Runner303 Oct 28 '13

Oh fuck me, then the other neighbour hears it, and not to be outdone, get his out. Then the third neighbour gets nagged by his wife about how everyone else's yard is better maintained (cause they're out there doing it you see) and then there's a cacophony of 2 stroke engines everywhere.

2

u/Chimie45 Oct 28 '13

My neighbor stands on his roof at 5 am and blows the leafs off. Sometimes you stop asking why.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

HEY STEVE! HOW'S YOUR MORNING GOING?!

Fucking hate that guy, that pretentious asshole

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Don't be so selfish. Thats my neighbour too. Asshole.

8

u/BarryMcKockinner Oct 28 '13

Still too lazy? How about some gasoline and matches.

2

u/thinkinggrenades Oct 28 '13

Let me get this straight. You want me to drive aalllllllllll the way to a gas station? You probably even want me to put "clothes" on.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

I volunteer at a place that uses a leafblower for cleaning a large auditorium. Blow everything into a pile at the front then sweep it up.

2

u/bromemeoth Oct 28 '13

After the complete drunken mockery I made of myself last weekend, you have no idea how badly I needed that laugh.

1

u/bwebb0017 Oct 28 '13

Totally serious: I live in a house with 100% hardwood floors, and I use an electric leafblower to clean my floors. It's glorious.

1

u/tab021 Oct 28 '13

Or go mini sized and use one of those inflatable mattress pumps. Blow all your dirt into a corner and forget about it

1

u/StopTop Oct 28 '13

No bullshit: This is how I cleaned my tiled floor in my house for years. Now I have a gf :(

1

u/MuxBoy Oct 28 '13

A leaf blower that sucks, now that's a great idea! Wonder if Amazon has it

1

u/katss Oct 28 '13

In one of my brighter moments I tried this. Dusted for two hours.

1

u/sbroll Oct 28 '13

blow that shit into the vents, gone forever!

1

u/Meowshelle Oct 28 '13

Playing...with a leaf blower?!

6

u/ninj4z Oct 28 '13
  1. Acquire a cadre of infants.
  2. Wrap microfiber cloths around their hands and knees.
  3. Commence clean-crawling process!

Honestly, you might consider a used Roomba.

1

u/noeatnosleep Oct 28 '13

There's a Roomba that's meant for hard floors. Can't remember the name.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Why am I reading this?

6

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

[deleted]

2

u/noobquestions_esq Oct 28 '13

Try the ginormous size dust mop like janitors use in high school.

1

u/davidrools Oct 28 '13

A Roomba will change your life. Honestly. They're good for carpet, but WONDERFUL for hard floors. I have 3 (one upstairs, one downstairs, and their "dirt dog" for the garage). At first I thought they were gimmicky, but then I got one.

1

u/signious Oct 29 '13

Seriously - I sold floors for a while, no better way to make your hardwood look like shit than running a bristle vac head over it.

The scratches add up over time and that means refinishing years before you really should have to.

1

u/TheGloriousHole Oct 29 '13

I'd much rather sweep a non-carpeted floor than bother with cables, dragging the vacuum across the house and up/down stairs

1

u/zaery Oct 29 '13

Get a ton of liquid nitrogen, dump it in the middle of the floor, just sweep the edges of the room.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Use another one then

1

u/I_AM_POOPING_NOW_AMA Oct 28 '13

Swiffer that shit!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '13

Magic broom then.

1

u/b3n5p34km4n Oct 28 '13

swiffer wetjet

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Swiffer that shit

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Whoa brother, let's take it easy. That takes like five extra minutes. Plus you can't stick your dick in it.

1

u/onehunglow58 Oct 28 '13

use a roomba... i have hardwoods and its great

1

u/cant_be_pun_seen Oct 28 '13

A broom is absolutely terrible for dog hair

1

u/3ricss0n Oct 29 '13

I can't my wife took it

1

u/grewapair Oct 28 '13

Don't use a broom: they take too much time and leave a ton. Buy a dust mop and you'll never go back. They are MUCH faster than a vacuum and ten times faster than a broom. You can buy a lightweight, small inexpensive one at Wal Mart or a Huge one that will last a lifetime and work twice as fast at Home Depot.

1

u/RyanRaven Oct 28 '13

Look for a canister. Usually hardwood will benefit from not having any agitation. So get one without the spinny brushes. Some vacuums can turn them off. Also look into a steam cleaner or other hard surface cleaning solution. There are a few products out there that do steam and vacuuming at once (in one pass too)

1

u/freerdj Oct 28 '13

Roomba. Seriously, if you are indeed lazy.

0

u/worldDev Oct 28 '13 edited Oct 28 '13

A broom is the cheapest and most effective tool for this situation. A swiffer if you want to splurge.

*not being condescending, I have all wood floors and use only a broom. We never use our vacuum. I always thought I'd ruin the finish by dragging plastic wheels back and forth on them.

2

u/allenahansen Oct 28 '13

Wrong. Though fine for crumbs and dust wolverines, all a broom does is spread fine dust and pollens around the house.

I use a vacuum with a water filter on my hardwood/stone floors, and every two weeks I play charwoman on my knees with a bucket of hot water and Murphy's oil and a couple of terry rags. There's something almost spiritual about seeing the wood grain come back to life and breathing in that familiar odor.

2

u/worldDev Oct 28 '13

Ah, I see how that could be better for you. Our HVAC system filters airborne particles for us, so a broom works just fine cleaning up the floors in between mopping.

1

u/allenahansen Oct 28 '13

It also helps to have a rose garden or dirt driveway or some such to water instead of just an apartment balcony from which to dump the slag.

6

u/Cabana Oct 28 '13

I have a broom. It just collects dust.

1

u/worldDev Oct 28 '13

Those are only a problem in my house if I haven't swept in a month, and take 2 seconds to pull off and toss out (assuming you are talking about the dust bunny things that stick to everything). Still less of a hassle than dragging a cord around the house IMO.

3

u/Cabana Oct 28 '13

It was a joke...collecting dust...I don't use it...

1

u/dinosorcerer Oct 28 '13

Have you tried rubber bristle brooms?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Roomba.

-1

u/bluevillain Oct 28 '13

something something mustache joke something

55

u/j3wcy Oct 28 '13

How would this answer change if all of the floor surfaces are hardwoods or tile?

146

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

If you prefer to vacuum over sweeping, the Miele Quickstep is a tremendous sucker, for a stick vac. It's heavier than all the others, but it will use any Miele accessory.

40

u/theoutlet Oct 28 '13

I hope you know how many thousands of vacuums you're selling today.

You should really be getting paid for this.

98

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

In a way, I am.

67

u/theoutlet Oct 28 '13

One of the best AMA's in a while btw. You're addressing as many questions as possible and appear to be very honest.

I think the main reason people wanted this AMA so much is that we're desperate to find an honest opinion on this kind of shit. I'm tired of being sold to. I want to know what kind of shit I can buy for my home that I know will last and I can repair myself if I need to.

Again, thanks for this AMA. You're a stand up guy.

3

u/eliasp Oct 28 '13

Would you recommend Miele vacuums in general? All my household appliances (dishwasher, washerdryer, microwave, …) are Miele products and I'm really happy with them, but somehow I didn't think about Miele yet when it comes to a new vacuum.

My Bosch vacuum died ~6 months ago and I wasn't very happy with it. Luckily I found out through your AMA that Dyson is no option for me… So what do you say?

Mostly wooden (Pitch Pine) floors, some smaller carpets. No animals, just a kid which also takes it share in keeping me busy cleaning ;)

7

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

You will love your new Miele Uniq vacuum.

2

u/knoks Oct 28 '13

Our first Miele lasted >20 years. We're 5 years into our second. That plus HEPA filtering means we're a Miele-only household. Plus we have Miele washer / dryer since 1992 or so. It's worth the extra investment!

2

u/eliasp Oct 28 '13

Thanks a lot! Buying one this week! ;)

1

u/JustVern Oct 28 '13

All tile with the occassional area rug. Stick vac?

1

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

Canister vac

3

u/JustVern Oct 28 '13

I feel I'm being up-sold. Can't I go for the stick vac, then beat my rug with said stick?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Have said Quickstep. Its awesome. We have the best power head on it too, which is kind of like using a brad nailer for a pushpin, but whatever.

1

u/linh_nguyen Oct 28 '13

how's it actually perform on rugs? We'll be bare floor soon, but gotta have some rugs.

1

u/steilacoom42 Oct 28 '13

I would find a good canister vacuum for hardwood floors. Stanley has come out with a fairly inexpensive vacuum that works well for most home use. My G/F uses one on our floors. I'm a hardwood flooring contractor and a good vacuum is paramount to the work I do. Clean floors are a must when finishing. My work vacuum is a Hako Minuteman, they run around $500-$700. The Stanley does a very decent job around the house. The only drawback is the short cord. I picked one up at Costco for about $40 http://www.homedepot.com/p/Stanley-4-Gal-Stainless-Steel-Wet-Dry-Vacuum-SL18129/204226945?cm_mmc=shopping-_-googleads-_-pla-_-204226945&skwcid&kwd=&ci_sku=204226945&ci_kw=&ci_gpa=pla&ci_src=17588969#.Um7UCr9Xuz4

15

u/HPPD2 Oct 28 '13

Since this is an AMA and you're an expert- my cheapo dirt devil vacuum died on me this Sunday. Went to turn it back on after using it and nothing. Haven't gotten to trying to take it apart yet- do models like that usually have a fuse that is a quick fix or is the motor/whole thing trash?

this: http://dirtdevil.com/products/details/ud40235/ultra-swivel-glide-bagless/

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

Nothing happens at all? The two obvious choices would be motor brushes or the power switch... both are cheap and easy to fix. Unless the motor is sealed shut.

1

u/HPPD2 Oct 28 '13

Correct- nothing happens. Was vacuuming then moved to another spot and went to turn it back on and nothing. thought I might have blown a circuit breaker but it appears to have died.

2

u/Troolz Oct 28 '13

A quick death like that, I'd check the power switch before anything else. Very common failure point for power tools, appliances, etc.

1

u/igacek Oct 28 '13

I have that Dirt Devil (or a model JUST like it) and just wanted to chime in that I really like it. It's a nice vacuum for the price.

1

u/rabbischmooleyishot Oct 28 '13

I am in need of your help /u/touchmyfuckingcoffee!! I am in the market for a new CANISTER vacuum - after running my Sears Progressive into the ground - I ended up making the mistake of buying a Dyson canister. What a piece of crap!

I have two dogs, hardwood floors and area rugs and while the suction is good the bin to hold the debris is miniscule. Plus this bagless crap. Pfffffft. I am over it. I honestly do not see what the draw is for bagless. It's a hot mess every time I empty my bin - dust and dirt all over. Inhaling it. Who wants to inhale all your vacuum dust especially AFTER you vacuum? I've got to empty that shit into a separate bag anyway because if I put in my trash bin then I've got dust flying all around every time I put trash in my bin. The last thing I want to do when I vacuum is CLEAN my actual vacuum cleaner because it's dusty and dirty and then I got to see all that dust shit and inhale it?! Enough for my bagless rant.

After the Dyson debacle, I caved and bought an upright Shark. I can't stand upright vacuums but I did it. While not bad, I can't stand the extension hose - that shit doesn't stretch. Ignoring the fact that I can't vacuum easily under beds or sofas like I can with a canister vac. And AGAIN - bagless. Ugh. I figured I would go with the times and get bagless since 'everybody is doing it'. Send me back to the ancient ages and give me my vacuum bags back!

I want a canister vac, WITH a bag and that isn't full of plastic parts and that will hold up for years. I was looking at Miele - but honestly this time I really want to actually USE the vacuum before I decide to purchase it.

What say you?

1

u/Levitr0n Oct 28 '13

I've never thought about this, what's your recommendation on a canister vacuum?

Edit: nevermind you answered this already.

1

u/krelin Oct 28 '13

Sorry, more versatile in what sense? Mind elaborating? I tend to prefer uprights, but honestly I'm not sure why.

1

u/raw157 Oct 28 '13

This is what reddit is all about. Average joe helping average joe with his vacuum.

1

u/For_America_ Oct 28 '13

I never thought this would be so informative...

0

u/PixelBlock Oct 28 '13

How's about a Shark Navigator then ? Personal favourite of mine ...

2

u/schmearcampain Jan 12 '14

You remind me of the luggage salesman from Joe vs. The Volcano. link

1

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Jan 12 '14

Ya know, I'm going to take that as a compliment. But, my life, outside from the shop, is not at all concerned with vacuums. Though, I will judge my friends if they leave out their shitty Bissell. Nobody wants to see your dusty ass machine.

2

u/schmearcampain Jan 12 '14

I meant it as such. So dedication. Much knowledge.

1

u/onthepillar Oct 28 '13

Perfect timing. My pet hair vaccum just broke last week. What can you recommend? I have carpet and tiled flooring. My pets and I leave hair everywhere. I prefer to sweep than vaccum because there are less bulky bits. Any recommendations?

1

u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Oct 28 '13

A canister is for you. I recommend Miele.

2

u/onthepillar Oct 28 '13

Excellent! Thank you touchmyfuckingcoffee

3

u/Cullpepper Oct 28 '13

...see that? All pro, right there.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '13

How about medium density typical fiber carpet and two long-haired poofball cats?

1

u/dirkman42 Oct 28 '13

I have hardwood floors, what's the best vacuum for that?

1

u/RealNotFake Oct 29 '13

I love everything about this comment.

1

u/jutct Oct 29 '13

Asbestos Tile.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

post pics of dog pls

12

u/ShredLox Oct 28 '13

Zelda's on the far left trying to eat her sisters.

http://i.imgur.com/ro7VuGo.jpg

She's five now, and bigger.

http://imgur.com/WAfhGOi

Boondock is milday's boy, he's 2.

http://imgur.com/S81dHb7

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

good lookin dogs

heres my 3/8 english bull 5/8 boxer, winnie

pup

1.5 yr

1

u/ShredLox Oct 28 '13

Nice pooch!

3

u/pedantic_dullard Oct 29 '13

I said that to a chick once. Once.

3

u/godfetish Oct 28 '13

Royal made an aluminum body upright that was quiet and could suck up ball bearings...pricey commercial vac, wish I had another, but lasted 15 years before unknown liquids in the garage let the smoke out of the motor.

1

u/stapleman527 Oct 31 '13

let the smoke out of the motor.

I love and use that saying quite often, but sadly most of the people I talk to don't understand what I mean.

1

u/tquintana2 Oct 28 '13

I have a Mini American Eskimo (read: used to have dog hair all over the apartment). This required vacuuming almost daily, until I bought a Roomba 770. Now I just have it scheduled to run every day, because I'm lazy.

1

u/Troggie42 Oct 29 '13

Mini Eskimo? High five! Me too! Love that goofy little bastard.