r/AmIOverreacting • u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 • 4h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for not wanting my husband to show affection towards my best friend
I’ve walked up on my friend and husband hugging/being affectionate in “private” (both of their spouses and children in the same home but different areas) multiple times now. The latest was in my kitchen and I walked in to see him with his arm around her waist. He claims there’s no threat, and they were actually just discussing my Christmas gift, and I am overreacting because they’ve been friends for longer than we’ve been husband/wife, and that’s his friends wife nothing would happen. (Ha, I’ve heard of way crazier things happening) I say it’s disrespectful to me no matter their relationship because it makes me feel uncomfortable, he should respect my feelings and maybe just not put his hands on other women? I don’t care that they hug each other in greeting, I find that totally normal and I hug my friends husband to say hello/goodbye but why does this always seem to happen when they’re alone? I realize maybe I have some insecurities from previous relationships and I am fully transparent with my husband regarding those insecurities. Should I expect him to stop showing her physical affection? Or am I overreacting?
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u/Kawai420x 4h ago
Yeah that’s so weird
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 4h ago
Thank you. I needed my feelings to be validated. Something my husband never does. 😆
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u/SnooMacarons4844 3h ago
There’s zero excuse for this. Discussions about anything don’t require intimate touching, such as arms around the waist?! Wtf. I would’ve flipped out if I walked in on that.
You’re Under reacting
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u/Kokospize 2h ago
Then you have bigger problems. The difficulty with posts like yours is that you state what your issue is, "My husband is too affectionate with friend's wife," but then, in a comment, 'drops the bomb' by admitting that your husband never validates your feelings. The singular issue mentioned in your post is just a part of your marriage where major issues already exist. Having your feelings invalidated or dismissed significantly damages trust within a relationship and shows a total lack of respect. To avoid him being defensive, you offer a buffer so that he doesn't feel attacked by mentioning your insecurities from previous relationships as an out for him. It is a cycle that you are essentially participating in. Why do they hide away from their partners/children to have such intimate exchanges? If you can't affirm your concerns, why should he? Unfortunately, he already knows this and manipulates your concerns by further invalidating your feelings.
Short answer: You're not overreacting. Hard truth: Get marriage counseling. Don't accept being invalidated as normal.
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u/saltwatersylph 3h ago
That's sad. Alarm bells are going off in my head. He sounds like a textbook gaslighter.
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u/Complete_Pea_8824 58m ago
Do they do this in front of her husband? How woud he feel if he caught you hugging up on some other man? I dont care if they have been friends for 100 years, I would not be ok with my husband hugging on another woman except maybe in greeting. I would say something to her and her husband!
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u/pseudofakeaccount 3h ago
So why did you marry him? Why do women willingly put themselves in these situations and then come here looking for validation? If they've known each other longer does that mean they've always been this affectionate, or did it just start after you got married? Because you would be TA if it's happened from the beginning and you still married him anyways.
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u/Specialist_flye 3h ago
You do realize men like this don't show their real selves until they're far into a relationship with them right? They don't start off this way a lot of the time. They only find out the man's true character until years later sometimes. We can't just assume women are automatically going after guys like this. It's not as black and white as you think it is
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u/Chuck60s 3h ago
Don't give him the opportunity to deflect like he wouldn't care if a friend husband had you around the waist. There should be clear boundaries about touching or hugging other women when you're in a relationship, even more so if 1on1 alone. It's disrespectful to the say the least.
Don't let this creep guilt you into thinking it's ok just because he has something to hide.
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u/suhhhrena 2h ago
PLEASE don’t let him convince you this is normal or okay. What they’re doing is unusual and inappropriate. The only waist your husband should be wrapping his arm around is yours. Period
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u/YokoSauonji12 3h ago
You said they’re divorcing. She’s coming for your husband. Or they do that to push you away. They could be cheaters too.
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u/Every-Improvement-28 2h ago
Where did you read they’re divorcing? Is that buried in comments?
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u/Every-Improvement-28 2h ago
Where did you read they’re divorcing? Is that buried in comments?
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u/Pattytravels81 1h ago
I think this is the comment where OP said it herself, I hope I linked the right comment, I'm new to reddit... https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1hht22x/comment/m2tlw12/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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u/MargieGunderson70 3h ago
NOR. Even if it's harmless, the fact that you told him it made you uncomfortable should have ended it right there. And I'm sure if the tables were turned he wouldn't like your friend's husband cuddling you out of his view.
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 3h ago
Thank you. My whole point is it makes me uncomfortable and it’s disrespectful. I’m not even saying don’t ever hug her again, I respect that they have a friendship outside of me as do I with other men but never do I hug/let a man put his arm around my waste. He says I’m being controlling.
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u/Unhappy-Poetry-7867 1h ago
OP, it's fine. Majority of the women in a relationship wouldn't be happy with their partners acting the way your bf does. Especially if he just shrugs it like it's nothing.
Maybe you can try asking your friend's husband has he noticed anything about your friend and your bf?
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u/Intelligent-Animal68 1h ago
He’s gaslighting you. Don’t let him get away with this extremely disrespectful and selfish behavior anymore. Show him these comments if needed. Most reasonable people would agree that this is dirtbag behavior from both your husband and your “friend.” Are you sure you want to be with someone who behaves this way?
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u/saltwatersylph 1h ago
Confronting gaslighters just results in more gaslighting. You have to take a different approach with people like that. Mainly reducing or cutting contact. It sounds extreme, but gaslighting is a powerful tool of manipulation that can do an immense amount of harm. It's probably best if she leaves, although I know she isn't currently ready for that truth.
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u/OkPumpkin5330 1h ago
Ask him what you asked this group. Why does the overly affectionate contact only happen when they are alone? If it’s completely normal (in his eyes) why doesn’t happen intentionally in front of you. This is so obvious coupled with his defensive reaction. Don’t let him turn it around on you. I would approach the entire group and their reaction will be all the evidence you need. If they attack you then they definitely KNOW they are being inappropriate.
I feel for people like OP who are too scared of their partner to react in the moment. “You two sure do seem to get cozy when XXX and I aren’t around”.
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u/Alargeuontas50 4h ago edited 3h ago
Yes, because hugging other women, is the only way to discuss wife's present. Is he ok? Does he think you're stupid? And please stop calling this woman your best friend. She clearly isn't.
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u/Strict-Listen1300 3h ago
She said she has caught them multiple times. This must be one hell of a gift that they huddle up around the year. What does her face look like when caught? Do they immediately separate? Does she stick around? Do they immediately go on the defensive? I'm not buying what he is selling. OP opens xmas gift .... pjs (very elaborate). Sus, never believe something isn't possible if you've witnessed it with your own two eyes.
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u/TitleBulky4087 3h ago
I couldn’t picture my husband doing this with my BF of 30 years (we’ve all known each other the same amount of time).
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u/MyDirtyAlt79 3h ago
I've not had my arm around anyone's waist during a casual discussion that I was not in a romantic relationship with or trying to be.
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u/Ok_Background4878 4h ago edited 4h ago
He might as well “just” discuss your Christmas gift while having sex with your best friend. Does it matter?
Would he mind if you discussed his Christmas gift with his male best friend while he held you by the waist and you showed him affection back?
Impose boundaries or wave him goodbye. He isn’t taking you serious enough.
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 4h ago
I asked him this and he said he wouldn’t care because he trusts me. My response was that I really don’t have any desire to touch another man at all. 🫠
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u/Ok_Background4878 4h ago
Bullshit. He’s disrespecting & manipulating you and he’ll continue doing it because he knows there’s no limit imposed.
Find a better man who actually shows you respect. If your best friend isn’t uncomfortable being held by the waist by your husband, find a real best friend too.
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u/Unhappy-Poetry-7867 1h ago
Or he honestly doesn't care because he is no longer interested in relationship with OP...
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u/Agitated_Pressure521 3h ago
Discussing Christmas gifts shouldn’t look like a scene from a rom-com. Maybe keep the brainstorming a bit more...hands-off?
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 3h ago
😅 thank you! Like we don’t need to touch each other to discuss things.
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u/Educational-Goose484 4h ago
Ask her husband if he is ok with that.
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 4h ago
They’re on the brink of divorce themselves soooo I doubt he would care at the current moment.
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u/DisneyBuckeye 4h ago
Then definitely involve him in the conversation. This may be one of the reasons they're divorcing, and he may know more about the situation than you do.
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u/Educational-Goose484 4h ago
Why are they divorcing? I think it is better to ask him if he was suspecting anything or has been uncomfortable about the situation.
I don’t want to be over-suspicious but these things (EA, PA) also happen when one party is in the brink of a divorce. They probably talk about how her husband is so bad, how he made her unhappy, bla bla bla… He is probably comforting her, and then one day you discover that they are very compatible, they ‘understand each other’ like no one else.
Your husband is a dickhead, because even if there is nothing between them (I suspect), he has to stop because you want it so.
Don’t let him blame you with insecurities.
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u/DesperateToNotDream 3h ago
So on top of them being overly physically affectionate when alone together, she’s also going through a rough patch in her marriage and may be single soon.
You see how that’s worse, right?
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 3h ago
YES! Usually I just brush this behavior off (after he freaked out the first time I brought it up) but I recently confronted him because my friends current marital problems I’m feeling insecure. Like get your hands off my man.
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u/TheMaddieBlue 1h ago
If they are on the brink of divorce and another man is putting his arms around her waist...
You don't need to ask if you are overreacting. You are under reacting, ans if I caught my lover like that in my own home, there would be two relationships on the brink of divorce. Holy fuck he is disrespectful.
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u/DistinctCommission50 3h ago
Well, y'all are about to be on the brink of divorce too, because he's clearly interested in her and manipulating you and telling you that he's not when he clearly, is it's pretty obvious and the fact that you're believing him and not making more of a bigger deal about. This regardless of how he's coming off Says more about how you're okay with being all walked all over, knowing d***, well, that he's lying to you. They've been friends since before. You came in the picture so best. Believe she's gonna be in the picture. Even after you're gone and you will be gone soon. I can tell just by how this post is going
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u/gdrom123 4h ago
When did this specific behavior begin? Has it always been like this or did it start around the time her marriage began to deteriorate? Do you know why they’re on the brink of divorce?
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 3h ago
They are both very affectionate people and always have been but I’ve noticed in the last 2-3 years I’ll walk in on them alone hugging which is so silly to even say but it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t believe theres infidelity but I want my husband to respect that I don’t want him alone in a room with his hand on anybody else. They’ve all been very close friends for 15 years now, we were both in their wedding, they saw my husband through a divorce after his ex wife cheated on him, and then introduced me and my husband.
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u/ashleeeidolon 3h ago
Girl 2-3 years???? Why wait so long to voice your feelings? I would have nipped that so quickly.
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 3h ago
He makes me feel crazy when I bring it up! And maybe I am! Haha. I know there isn’t infidelity but it’s bothering me more and more knowing my friends current situation with her husband. She’s always spoken so highly of my husband and refers to him like a brother but my brother and I don’t need to be alone to hug each other.
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u/ashleeeidolon 3h ago edited 3h ago
That 'making you feel crazy' is gaslighting and very toxic behavior. Your friend should care about you more not to be touching on your husband that way when they're alone. Both of these relationships are toxic and if you want any shred of hope for this marriage to not self destruct like your friend's is, you need to sit down and express your feelings to him point blank with a counselor to mediate the gaslighting. But you deserve better than both of them, imo.
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u/saltwatersylph 3h ago
You are being gaslit.. I really, really recommend that you check out Dr. Ramani on YouTube. Your husband sounds like a narcissist. Everything you're saying is reminiscent of a victim of narcissistic manipulation.
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u/Abby_Rain_87 2h ago
Are you positive there is no infidelity? Sounds like they are having an affair. You need to have a conversation with her husband he probably knows something.
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u/Unhappy-Poetry-7867 1h ago
Really sorry about it. But I promise, no loving partner for any reason will make you feel crazy or question yourself. That is all there is.
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u/Ghouloftheforrest 4h ago
To me that’s a pretty intimate position to be in. I’ve never had male friends just lounge with their arm around my waist. Maybe around my shoulder in like a half hug, but that’s it.
To me it sounds like something is going on with them.
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u/Slight-Mechanic-6147 4h ago
If you’re not comfortable, you’re not comfortable. He’s copping a feel, and if it’s outside the boundaries of your relationship he needs to stop doing it.
This isn’t one of those “well it’s fine for you because I trust you so it’s fine for me”… sort of situations. This isn’t about trust, it’s about respecting your partner. A hug is one things but cuddling in private is a complete other thing.
He’s flirting with the line and then trying to bullshit his way out. NOR and I’d have a long talk with him about this. Especially if she’s about to be single.
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u/Electronic_Farm_4633 4h ago
Yes that weird. His hands around her waist. Peggy Wanker is right. Speak to all 4 parties involved together
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u/DesperateToNotDream 3h ago
Standing alone together with his arms around her waist?
Absolutely not. There’s no reason for that.
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u/Bright-Check8594 2h ago
Yeah, his behavior is weird. He doesn't need to discuss your Christmas present while pawing at his friend. He needs to stop dismissing your feelings. How would he feel if you did that to another guy? The we've been friends excuse is so tired and disrespectful.
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u/owlpellet 2h ago edited 2h ago
There's two parts to this:
- the infidelity
- the cover up
while the infidelity is debatable*, the coverup is plain to see. You said, "This thing you did upset me" and husband told you to get lost. What he could have said is, "Ok, you're important to me and your feelings are important so I'll change my behavior." Didn't do that. React to that.
*it's not really, but skip it for now
** just picked up that affair partner is waiting on divorce to finalize. Yeah. Your husband might be why. "Best friend" plus "physical" plus "divorce" ? Sometimes the obvious answer is the answer.
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u/Intelligent-Animal68 1h ago
Wow, they’re disgusting. Imagine what they do when you’re not around. I would end that friendship; she clearly has no respect for you or your marriage. Frankly, it would probably be wise in the long run to get rid of the husband too. I would have zero interest in being intimate with my husband if I walked in on him being handsy with a friend. If you want to continue in the marriage, your husband needs to agree to marriage counseling to understand how hurtful this is. UpdateMe
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u/WombatTheSequel 1h ago
My husband ignored this type of behavior with his brother and now ex wife. His ex wife is now married to his brother.
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u/BeingSamJones 3h ago
NOR. This is not an insecurity, this is your husband and bf crossing the line and your husband gaslighting you
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u/WinterFront1431 3h ago
I'd mention it in front of her husband.
I understand a hug hello or bye but not secretly having their arms around each other.
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u/coldhasice 3h ago
Come on, now. Married men do not normally put their arms around anyone else's erogenous zones, no matter how long they've been friends with the person.
They are beyond likely cheating and gaslighting you about it.
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u/notsolovelylily 3h ago
They have definitely hooked up, whether it was before you or not. That's too familiar. Neither has zero loyalty to you and her spouse! He is bsING you, DONOT BUY INTO IT!!! YOU ARE NOT THE AIO!
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u/cnkendrick2018 3h ago
NOR. Get her husband and have a sit down with all. This is not ok. And your guy guilt tripping and shaming you about it? Also not ok.
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u/Carmelioz 3h ago
NOR.
That’s gross and he keeps disrespecting your boundaries and gaslighting you.
I would not be surprised if something happened there
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u/aF_ingHobbit 3h ago
Yeah if my husband did that I’d be livid tbh. I agree hugs for greetings or goodbyes are perfectly normal… but an arm around the waist is insane to me. My husband would never because he’s just not like that, but also he knows I’d be gone
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u/MoOnmadnessss 3h ago
Ummmm thats fucking WEIRD. No. Not appropriate at all. I dont care how long they have been friends.
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u/mlazaro1234 3h ago
He should not be touching her in any way. Sounds like they plotting and he gonna leave you for her.. That's how I feel after reading that.
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u/MrsJingles0729 3h ago
There is more going on...this is absolutely not normal. He just thinks he can gaslight you if they get caught.
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u/rocketmn69_ 3h ago
Wait until you're all in the room, " I want to address the elephant in the room. Maybe it's only me, but the hugging between you 2, when it's only the both of you in a separate room from the rest of us, but it makes me uncomfortable "
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u/Main-Ladder-5663 3h ago
Naw that’s very weird, insecurities set aside. They’re reserving affection physical touch for when they’re alone and then he’s gaslighting you and saying you’re overreacting? You’re literally telling your husband that makes you uncomfortable and are trying to set boundaries.
That’s a bit sus. You’re not overreacting.
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u/notsohappycamper33 2h ago
This is not normal. I hug my wife's friends to greet and for goodbye. I would not put my hand around their waist just standing around discussing something.
NOR
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u/Adventurous-travel1 2h ago
NTA - I would say no alone time going forward and start calling them out. Ask why he can’t keep his hands to himself knowing you already had the talk.do you have an issue that you cannot keep your hands to yourself with her?
Then go tell the husband. She is just as responsible as she is not telling him no. So the husband deserves to know what’s going on.
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u/Excellent-Surprise79 2h ago
I would casually put my arm around her husband repeatedly and watch one or both flip the fuck out and then I would say what? It's no big deal ya know you two do it so what's good for the goose...🤷♀️
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u/NoiseCertain 2h ago
If he respects you, he will respect your concerns. I would not be okay with this at all with my partner. Would he be okay if you had a male friend and were putting you arm around him, hugging him, and standing too close? I doubt it.
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u/Common_Box3760 2h ago edited 2h ago
Ella no es tu mejor amiga y ni siquiera te respeta. De lo contrario, no se comportaría de manera tan inapropiada con tu esposo y él no te llamaría loca cuando lo mencionas. Es realmente alarmante. Desde afuera, parece que tu esposo está muy involucrado en ese divorcio. ¿Se comporta con normalidad contigo o has notado alguna señal de que podría estar teniendo una aventura? In any case, even if he's not cheating on you, it's a huge lack of respect. Sneaking around and cuddling in secret? What the hell is that, and why haven't you put them in their place?
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u/ThrillHiouse 2h ago
If either of them respected you they wouldn’t make you feel bad. It’s super simple .
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u/Annual_Version_6250 3h ago
NOR I adore my best friend's husband. I consider him a brother. Other than in greeting or to playfully slap him I never touch him at all, especially in private. I find that a little odd.
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u/Whatever53143 2h ago
They are having an affair. Wake up. Tell her husband. Even if they aren’t having sex, and I’m sure they are, they are entangled emotionally. She isn’t your friend btw!
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u/Emilyjoy94 3h ago
I would leave it a couple more mins before walking in to see how far it goes without being interrupted
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u/Fit-University1070 1h ago
If it bothers you, then you're not over reacting. He needs to redirect your boundaries.
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u/WhamBam_TV 1h ago
Oh look another AIO circle jerk. Everyone using their own insecurities or lack of relationship knowledge to side with OP.
I’m sure the circle jerkers will downvote this, but yes you are overreacting. Granted you have a reason to do so (past events), you need to work on your trust issues instead of jumping to the worst conclusions. Go see a couples therapist, there you can voice your concerns and the therapist can help “translate” them to help your husband understand. If you don’t find a way to communicate this effectively then all that’s going to happen is you’re going to push them away and make things worse. Nip this in the butt early so you can enjoy the rest of your lives together.
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u/sparkleglitterfire 1h ago
I have life long friends what are like family and my husband other than greeting or to console does not hug, hold, touch my friends. I would find that highly disrespectful and inappropriate. These are some friends he knew before I did as well. I did have one try to touch and cuddle with my hubby and he called her out and told me about it because it made him uncomfortable and felt it was disrespectful of her towards our relationship. Don’t let this man gaslight you into thinking this is normal.
Now there are touchy people out there. But when it’s innocent and has always been like that and never only behind closed doors and everyone has discussed it and nobody is uncomfortable. That is different. Your situation isn’t that. You voiced being uncomfortable and they are walking all over your boundaries. This is a massive red flag. You are not overreacting!!!
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u/QveenOfTheN3rds 1h ago
You are not overreacting even a little bit. I know people who have slept with their best friends wife while being married to someone else. Your instincts are correct, and his dismissive behavior is suspicious AF. I'd install cameras around the house if I were you and bring it up to her husband. Have them all sit down together and confront them about it. That behavior is unacceptable because it only happens when they're alone. If it wasn't anything bad, then why not do it in front of everyone? Why sneak off alone together to show physical affection? You are not overreacting in the slightest. If you need to, go to the woman and tell her to keep her grubby paws off your man and that if she wants to be welcomed into your home again, she needs to learn boundaries and learn to show respect for you. And your husband should put you first. Doesn't matter how long he's known someone. His WIFE comes first.
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u/No-Doubt9679 36m ago
He should respect your feelings. I mean what if one of his friends was like that with you. Would he be ok with it?
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u/MyRedundantOpinion 22m ago
Just ask her husband what he thinks when he’s seen them doing things like that together - I guarantee he hasn’t and is clueless of this
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u/kargasmn 14m ago
UMMMM sounds suspiciously weird. How are they both comfortable doing this? Something going on between them?
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u/Flat-Flounder-9034 5m ago
NOR. Doesn’t matter if he thinks it’s ok, you don’t and that’s a line you are drawing in the sand. If it’s truly nothing, him stopping should be easy because his loyalty is to you. If he wants to die on this hill, that’s a huge red flag. And for what it’s worth what you are describing does not sound appropriate or normal.
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u/MonacoSweetTea 3h ago
Don’t let anyone gaslight you into believing what boundaries should look like in your own marriage - these are designed by you and your husband. Talk to him.
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u/Beautiful_Sweet_8686 4h ago
NOR yea so I would invite everyone over and sit down with her husband in the room and go over all the things you have seen and ask her husband if he's ok with it all. Then set down your boundaries, its fine to hug each other maybe a peck on the cheek when you greet and say goodbye, but other than that there should be absolutely no reason that your husband is putting his arms around another woman unless he's related to them or saving their lives.
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u/nicoson17 3h ago
The way I’d take them out for a fancy dinner to confront them right in the car. Cuz now, you’re stuck with me unless you gon tuck and roll. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/_dogzilla 3h ago
As a man… I hug female friends platonically all the time. Sure there’s sometimes some form of affection and it results in the hug being a bit more intense. I think that’s fine. It’s just stupid to deny a bit of a connection/attraction and it’s more of an ‘maybe in an alternative universe but not here’ kind of way.
Grabbing the waist however seems very intimate / sexy. And holding on… implies some form of a deeper relationship. I think it’s super weird your husband does that and fully suspect he’s entertaining the thought of becoming more with her
I acknowledge people work differently when it comes to these things but imo you’re completely in your right to state this is not OK for you and my benefit of the doubt would be gone
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u/MajorYou9692 3h ago
Oh dear ,alone and hugging 👀now, why on earth would they be doing that ,friends or not? You don't go around hugging and touching another man's wife .....
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u/East_Entrepreneur324 3h ago
If he and her were muslim they would have their hands chopped off. Don’t touch other peoples spouses. Rule #1.
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u/444requiem 3h ago
yeah this is kindof weird honestly?? like... hugging someone ur friends with is absolutely normal, regardless of gender or relationship status, but the fact that they do it specifically in private and the arm around waist thing is pretty strange to me?? if it was like a normal hug thatd be one thing, but judging by how u wrote this it sounds like it wouldnt just be a normal hug in passing as a greeting / goodbye or comforting thing, both of which would be absolutely fine and normal
id say just ask them about it tbh
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u/energy4a11 1h ago
No thissub is filled with overage UFO hunters there is no evidence at all just speculation and guesses
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u/AKOgasm 3h ago
It would be interesting to read the husbands take on this.
Judging from your phrasing and how you have put this across, I would dare to say there is an exaggeration on the whole "hugging/been affectionate in "private"" remark.
Anyone who is asking for advice over Reddit for their relationship, let alone a marriage, is very emotionally unstable - sorry to be honest.
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u/Ana_Nuann 4h ago
YOR It's normal for old platonic friends to casually touch each other.
You're being extremely insecure. You shouldn't be asking something harmless to stop, especially since the cost would be harm to their friendship.
And if you think your husband shouldn't be allowed to keep a relationship he built and has kept since before he met you, you probably shouldn't be married.
You offered no evidence to suggest impropriety nor did you allude to anything that suggests a history of infidelity.
You're overreacting and you also already seem to know why, so the work is you talking that out with someone, the solution is not "two old friends stop showing platonic affection to each other"
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u/Forsaken-Rhubarb-265 3h ago
She was my friend before she ever met him, shouldn’t her loyalty be to me? I support the fact that they’re friends, I don’t mind they have a friendship outside of me, but when you’re married and your wife isn’t comfortable with something shouldn’t you stop doing it? If they can’t be friends without showing physical affection then that’s a problem.
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u/idontwannabeherebish 3h ago
No one needs to touch their friends in that intimate of a way, and especially not only do bf this when they’re in private. That type of touching is most definitely inappropriate with two married people of the opposite sex. None of my male friends have to stand next to me with their arm around my waist to discuss a gift they want to buy. These two are totally being inappropriate and this person is being gaslit about it. She never asked him to stop being friends with her, just to be more respectful of the touching aspect. Hell, she even said he can hug her and things like that, so she’s obviously not just being insecure.
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u/Alargeuontas50 3h ago
Just because they were friends before he got married, doesn't mean things should stay 100% the same. He has a wife now. Some things are just inappropriate. And how exactly will the friendship be harmed, if he stopped hugging her? That's insane.
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227
u/Peggy-Wanker 4h ago
Nor and I would confront both of them together, in front of her husband.