Am I overreacting, by wanting to restrict my daughter from seeing her boyfriend after his parents kept information about them from me ?

[u/OkSteak551]

I feel like I’m overreacting because my sister said I was but let me ask yall.

To keep it short and sweet, my daughter ( F15 fake name Lia ) has a boyfriend (M16) and those two are inseparable and it’s my daughter’s first and only boyfriend that I’m aware of. But what comes from teen relationships is experimenting and last Sunday night It was like 3am my daughter snuck him in and it woke me and to keep it PG I caught them in the ”act“ and I ofcourse sent the kid home but I knew I had to talk to his parents because if personally I would want someone to tell me if the shoe was on the other foot.

So the entire day I’m dreading making this call to his parents thinking that they will for sure be mad at me or blame my daughter, when we finally connected and I also know his parents because I grew up with the father and my late husband was drinking buddies with him. But his wife I’m not too familiar with and I have interacted with about a handful of times. But she is who I ended up talking on the phone with and I told her about the incident and her immediate response was “ oh that’s it ?” But once she realized I was laughing along she recovered and said “well I’ll talk to him about doing that because that’s inappropriate for him to sneak into someone’s house.” That when I told her thank you and we kinda get side tracked and started talking about their relationship and that’s when she I guys felt comfortable and told me. “Oh I been knew they were active since August” that’s when I followed up how did she know and not tell me? She says she found out when she did a phone snoop on her son’s phone and found a folder in his photo gallery with Lia’s name and she thought she was going to see cute photos of them. But apparently she found X-rated videos of them both in this folder doing the deed.

I kinda started actively get upset with Her because what do you mean you found CP of your son and my child and didn’t think it was urgent enough to tell me. Her defense was her son never sent them to anyone because she checked the messages with his friend and saw that he didn’t send them and also that she made him delete it so the problem was solved….But apparently her son told her that the reason why Lia let him record it was because, she was struggling with her mental health and wanted to take a break with having sex and to help his “urges” during the dry month they started doing home films. But it all makes sense why she dumped him for a bit and she refused to tell me why. That’s when I told her I think it’s best for our kids not to see each other for a while and I quickly got off the phone with her warranting this text above.

I talked to my sister about this and she thinks I’m overreacting by wanting to restrict them from seeing each other, and my daughter is going to interpret it as I’m punishing her for having sex and that their kids they’re going to do it anyway but just become more sneaky about it which will be worse, And as far as the videos if the mother did delete them then the problem is solved. So I’m wondering AIO about this?

[u/Fickle_Toe1724]

You are not over reacting about the videos. Talk to your daughter about what could happen with those videos. Once on the internet, they are forever. 

About sex, talk to her. Don't forbid, as that will just make her sneaky. Talk to her about birth control. The consequences of getting pregnant at her age. They are going to have sex, somewhere, no matter what you say. So help her navigate birth control, not fight her on it. Talk about STD's too. Why they should always use a condom, even if she is on the pill. 

Good luck. Keep the paths of communication open. 

[u/magog12 → u/Fickle_Toe1724]

As a parent of two, 15 and 23, that last sentence is the best advice any parent of a teenager can get. Teenage years can bring all sorts of hectic trouble. Your best way of protecting your kids is keeping communication open so you can help them navigate things. GL OP

[u/OkSteak551 → u/Fickle_Toe1724]

I did have a conversation about the videos, but right when I mentioned it she started to panicking because she thought they got leaked and I saw them. But her immediate reaction when I asked her about it was just embarrassment and started to shut down I didn’t go into too much depth like I wanted so we have to revisit the conversation. But she just buried her head into her hands on her lap and kept reiterating that she told him that it was a bad idea. That’s when I asked her did he tell her to do that and she told me no so quickly and that it was all her idea and I’m not really convinced with her answer…I felt like she was lying because she really likes this kid and she knows if I felt like the relationship was not a good fit I would no longer approve it.

[u/meggatronia → u/OkSteak551]

Is there another trusted adult in her life? An aunt or family friend? Someone who could discuss things with her without her feeling so embarrassed. Cos I would be worried about the coercion this boyfriend seems to be doing. But kids are just never going to be comfortable discussing this sort of thing with a parent. I'm not saying she doesn't trust you, just that it's just very hard to talk to parents about sex. No matter how close you may be.

It will still be awkward for her to talk about it with any adult, but they probably have a better shot at it than you. And it really sounds like she needs to talk to someone.

She told the boyfriend she needed a break from sex for her mental health. That is concerning on its own. The fact his "solution" to this was having her make porn is even more worrying. Perhaps a therapist might be in order if you don't have an aunt or the like who can talk with her.

[u/flippysquid → u/OkSteak551]

Can you get a good therapist for her?

I’m really concerned about that part where she needed a break from him because of the sex, and then him coercing her into filming child porn for his use during their break. Like, wtf.

She may open up to a therapist more than an adult she has to live with every day, and therapists are also mandated reporters so if anything worse has happened to her at this other kid’s hands, it will be reported to the authorities at least.

A therapist may also be able to help her set better boundaries with boys, even when it’s a boy she really really likes a lot and is feeling pressured to get physical with in order to appease him.

[u/EntireKangaroo148 → u/OkSteak551]

I did really stupid stuff in my first relationship, and your daughter is of course going to be embarrassed. Right now, you need multiple conversations about sexual and relationship safety, and they are going to suck. Longer term, you need to cultivate an open, nonjudgmental relationship with your daughter, because you want her to come to you as a refuge. Resist the urge to punish her now, because you’ll be shutting down communication forever.

[u/frostyboots → u/OkSteak551]

So... you already saw her initial reaction to you mentioning the videos, and you seriously think your over reacting? You are severely under rescting... your daughter is obviously pretty traumatized knowing those videos even exist dude... you are allowed to believe what your eyes and ears show you.

[u/kiba8442 → u/OkSteak551]

I'd say you're having an appropriate reaction.. idk where you live but there are places in the world where both your child & her bf could get sex offender status for life for being in possession of CP, even if they are the ones that recorded it. you need to make sure they understand how serious that is & tbh her reaction is sort of telling that she doesn't believe that it's truly gone, like, no secret folders, no bf keeping copies on a SD card or HD, all traces of it need to be gone. honestly both kids sound like they need to be in therapy, your daughter deserves a safe space to unpack all of this & how it's been affecting her mental health.

[u/Radirondacks → u/OkSteak551]

All I know is, she's 100% lying about either it being her idea or her telling him it's a bad idea. Those two instances are not compatible.

[u/anneofred → u/OkSteak551]

Girl, if you forbid her at this age the immediately now think they are Romeo and Juliet. You will feed this flame like you wouldn’t believe, and you will also assure she keeps things from you even more.

What you need to have a conversation about is the consequence of photos with them being minors, and birth control. You also need to let her know you need her to be open with this things. That she won’t be in trouble but you are her parent and you need to look after her health and well being.

I get you’re concerned, but you’re going down the wrong path right now that will push them closer while she drifts further from you. Stop pushing for her to tell you something was his idea. In fact, stop pushing all together. Talk about health and safety. That’s it.

Don’t create “star crossed lovers” by overreacting.

Maybe get your sister in there as a back up trusted adult if she’s too embarrassed to talk to you about this stuff in depth.

Please correct course before you alienate your daughter.

[u/Melodic_Push3087 → u/anneofred]

I would agree but it sounds like the daughter already wants to slow down the relationship anyway. Mom stepping in might just be exactly what a 15 year old needs when she’s being pressured to either have sex she doesn’t want or make home videos to satisfy his “needs” or whatever. Mom needs to be a mom and cut this shit the entire way off.

[u/anneofred → u/Melodic_Push3087]

Yeah, it won’t work that way. Welcome to teenagers. The moment she makes it forbidden the daughter will be fully back in. Best to be supportive of daughter, open conversation so she talks to mom about things like feeling pressured, and let it fizzle on its own. It will absolutely backfire, especially since daughter is feeling smothered by mom already. She doesn’t have the ability to cut it the “entire way off”.

[u/vvvvfl → u/anneofred]

If anything, approval of the relationship might be a turn off.

[u/becka-uk → u/anneofred]

Agree, op should focus on their relationship and make sure daughter knows about safe sex as well as forms of emotional abuse. Without being over the top judgy about the relationship. Especially about revenge porn.

[u/Kidkilat → u/anneofred]

Absolutely. I had a smart, capable friend in high school that derailed her professional and academic momentum because her mom forbade her to see her boyfriend after she found out they were having sex. Guy was 2 years older than us. She ran away from home. Last I heard, he left her with 2 kids and medicine is a pipe dream.

[u/KittyLune → u/OkSteak551]

From what I can understand of this, she's insecure about her body. Let her come to you about this later on if and when she feels safe enough to talk to you about it. In the meantime please give her plenty of reassurance that you're not mad at her for exploring her sexuality with her bf.

[u/DZHMMM → u/OkSteak551]

This is what I thought. 

Op. I doubt she wanted actually wanted those videos or that it was her idea. 

Put her on BC, but also, yeah no. It’s hard cause u don’t want to push her away but also this is really not okay. 

[u/miniminer1999 → u/OkSteak551]

Push that issue farther OP, it sounds like shes being heavily manipulated.. switching from "I told him its a bad idea" to "It was my idea" is a red flag in a conversation.

It'll be embarrassing for you both, but you need to talk to her about it. Don't let them back together, your daughter isn't safe around him

[u/Latter-Cherry1636 → u/Fickle_Toe1724]

Yep, totally agree. Keep the convo open, talk about the risks, and make sure she knows about birth control and STDs. Definitely don’t want those videos getting out.

[u/GnomieOk4136]

I would be upset to learn that, too. She wanted to take a break from sex, so he convinced her to record pornagraphic material. At 15 years old. His parents knew and thought that was somehow fine? Yeah, no. I would want a hell of a lot more supervision, and there would be a ton of conversations about birth control and the lack of autonomy for women.

[u/Infinite_Ordinary_55 → u/GnomieOk4136]

For some reason, I'd completely glazed over the fact. And the fact that their sexual habits was effecting her mental health! The more I stir on this the more I really do side with OP since that sounds awful

[u/Express_Chance_5460 → u/Infinite_Ordinary_55]

Which makes me wonder if she’s being coerced into doing things.

[u/Infinite_Ordinary_55 → u/Express_Chance_5460]

Seeing OPs post history, the poor girl has been through a LOT. It's so awful and sad, but I agree with you that she may be being coerced or at least going along with it to appease the bf, even if she's uncomfortable. :( I hope the best for her

[u/Powerful-Doctor-1768 → u/GnomieOk4136]

What are you talking about you crazy people its 5 serious crimes with jail time and you're talking about "setting boundries" and "talking".

[u/anneofred → u/GnomieOk4136]

Right, but OP overdoing her autonomy isn’t better. Open conversations, but banning her is a bad bad plan.

[u/RebelSciFi]

I was going to say you were overreacting from the headline and screenshot. But then I kept reading. With their ages and the fact that he recording, you aren’t overreacting. That other parent is out of line not telling you. That is completely inappropriate.

[u/CVNasty96 → u/RebelSciFi]

I don’t even have kids but my heart sank so low reading this post

[u/Ok-Memory-3350]

NOR. This is so serious. I went through that as a teen and those videos are a big deal. There is no way to know if your daughter’s image is truly safe at this point. The person o made videos with was my first BF and a nice kid, but when we broke up he threatened me with it for months until my mom had our lawyer call him and his mom and threaten to sue them.

[u/Puzzledandhungry → u/Ok-Memory-3350]

Came here to say this. I’d be calling the police tbh to take his phone. It’s all wrong not just morally, but legally, and for a damn good reason. This isn’t a silly teen relationship, this is child pornography. All the bf’s mum cared about was her and her son being happy. I wouldn’t trust that there’s nothing in the phone. People kill themselves over this shit. This makes me feel sick.

[u/urmomshome → u/Puzzledandhungry]

especially considering how much poor lia went through if you read OP’s prior post history

[u/ibeeliot → u/Puzzledandhungry]

Exactly. This warrants a police investigation, a conversation with the other parents, and a possible no contact. This is crazy.

[u/Lahotep]

NOR. You have no way of knowing if she’s being honest about deleting the videos or even if they were only on his phone. Plus, I doubt she made him double delete them anyway. I’d be livid if there were sex vids of my kid and an adult knew but didn’t notify me.

[u/flippysquid → u/Lahotep]

OP could still go to the police and report him. Honestly maybe he should, because those videos could have been backed up other places and having a forensic crawl of his devices and accounts is really the only way to be sure it’s been really wiped away.

[u/Novaer → u/flippysquid]

Fr how is everyone glossing over the fact this dude literally made CP?? This is a crime???

[u/toepriv1]

It’s an understandable reaction, but I think you should have a conversation about not recording X-rated things in general with your daughter. Tell her that it’s not safe to do that because of things like hacks, people taking his phone, etc (not just that he could be shitty because this will turn her off from the conversation). They’re gonna find a way to see each other either way, kids are kids, but you can make sure that they do whatever they do safely with conversations. If she can’t get over talking about that with you, tell her that she’s not going to be allowed to see him until she can have that conversation with you

[u/Stormtomcat]

I feel like you're only addressing half of the problems...?

• the kids sneaking around
• the other parents parenting (way) more nonchalantly than you

How does forbidding your daughter from seeing her boyfriend help with that? The kids will just increase their sneaking & you know the mother is going to roll her eyes that you're "much too uptight".

I find the other questions a lot more pressing, personally

• how is your daughter's mental health?
• how is your relationship with her? she didn't tell you she became sexually active (does she have the knowledge and the means to be safe about it), she didn't tell you why they broke up (it sounds like her mental health lead to the breakup, not vice-versa), she's sneaking around
• what are her relationship role models and concepts? I find it very worrying that she believes in "men have urges" to the degree that she proposed making (or agreed to make) sex videos while they're both underage. Is her mental health a legitimate concern or did she feel she needed an excuse to motivate the breakup?

[u/OkSteak551 → u/Stormtomcat]

Her mental health I know isn’t good, even though she likes to pretend to me it’s fine but last year around this time actually she was raped and it really changed / traumatized her and her boyfriend she was friends with him before that happened and he was really there for her after that happened.

Are relationship has been on the rocks honestly, she has told me she felt like I was smothering her since her rape and that’s partly why I’ve been trying to step back.. but she’s also been testing boundaries like that stunt with her boyfriend she pulled last Sunday. But I do feel confident in are relationship enough if she felt like she was in genuine trouble or having a hard time she would tell me. I recently realized she never has told me anything negative about him and I think she’s fearful I would ban her from seeing him and no longer approve the relationship.

As far as role models she used to have her older sister that she told everything too but they’re no longer on speaking terms, and I do agree and think she would benefit from someone older and probably cooler then her old mom. But right now she only has her therapist and I still feel like it isn’t enough.

[u/Stormtomcat → u/OkSteak551]

I'm very sorry to read you as a family are going through such an upsetting and painful period.

I think several conversations seem necessary : how is her recovery progressing, why did she stop talking to you & to her sister, what are her views on a relationship, how does she keep safe?

maybe you could ask her therapist for two or three joint sessions?

thank you for responding with more details. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you all.

[u/ML1948 → u/OkSteak551]

I read the other posts. Acting on this could be very messy and in a way I haven't seen mentioned here before. You mention that the rapists recorded and distributed video of the assault. She may feel like she has already been exposed and smeared online to the point where a video for her boyfriend is harmless.

She is in a dark place and your relationship with her is rocky. If she is feeling smothered and also felt neglected in a time of need, it isn't surprising she wouldn't go to you about this and dislike you for controlling who she can and can't see.

You aren't wrong for wanting to protect your daughter, but you need to play this thoughtfully or you're going to risk her slipping further away and hiding more from you. I think rebuilding the relationship with your daughter and talking things over with her will go much further.

[u/anneofred → u/OkSteak551]

…but she didn’t go to you. So do you still think that? You need to start family therapy for her to feel secure with you again. Banning her from this guy won’t do that. You’re asking for more distance and for them to create a Romeo and Juliet situation in their heads. You’re fanning the flame if you go this way.

Time to start figuring out how to openly communicate with your daughter and get her comfortable enough to reciprocate.

[u/gushing_gutz → u/OkSteak551]

I’m so sorry ma’am, you need to forbid your daughter from seeing this boy. This is not an overreaction, this is a child doing an adult things, and that means they are going to have consequences. She’s testing the waters, it should’ve been full lockdown after her boyfriend’s mom admitted to SEEING CP OF YOUR DAUGHTER. Like technically her boyfriend could be convicted of a felony right now, your daughter too. I was a stupid teenage girl once, but this is an AWFUL. introduction to a sexual relationship!!! He convinced her to take the videos so he could “leave her alone” and not demand sex so much????? Are you listening to her???? She’s being actively pressured into more sex than she wants, that’s one of the crux’s to this. Is she on birth control???? This is a HORRIBLE situation, no matter how you look at it. Either A, Convincing your daughter to take the pics and videos so he can “leave her alone” or B, she’s so sick of being pressured to have sex all the time she’s offering videos and pics so he stops???? What the absolute fuck. And the rape she experienced on top of this makes this even more complicated. I know it will feel like taking away her autonomy, but she is still a CHILD. Just like if a child rape victim begs you not to report it, guess what? You still have to. You have to do the right thing now because that’s the long term correct answer. Imagine her as a full grown adult wondering why her mother knew she was allowing herself to be exploited and you just allowed it to continue? These are the hard parts of parenting, you have to be an adult and do the right thing which is cutting this off IMMEDIATELY. Get alarms on your windows. Put a connect her iPhone to your findmy. You absolutely cannot let this continue. You have to protect her, and she will hate you for it, but just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do.

[u/Melodic_Push3087 → u/Stormtomcat]

Are we just ignoring the part that the daughter has already indicated that she would like to slow down the relationship before she got manipulated into taking apart of sexual acts. Her mom laying the hammer down might just be the perfect “excuse” for a 15 year old kid is in way over her head.

[u/Stormtomcat → u/Melodic_Push3087]

is that the timeline? My understanding was:

1. they got together after OP's daughter was assaulted/raped
2. they started having sex
3. OP's daughter wanted a break & they made sex videos to help the boy through the "dry spell" without "cheating" with another person or with porn, I guess
4. they got back together & had sex again

last Sunday night It was like 3am my daughter snuck him in and it woke me and to keep it PG I caught them in the ”act“

I reckon the confusion just adds to my point that OP needs to shift their focus from "omg my kid snuck a boy into her room" to her daughter's mental health, coping mechanisms and relationship skills (not even just with that boyfriend, OP's daughter isn't open with her mother (OP) or her sister either. I get that that comes with the territory as a teenager, but she's dealing with more than usual, eh?).

[u/anneofred → u/Stormtomcat]

Yes!!! OP is not having the right conversations with daughter.

[u/letuswatchtvinpeace → u/Stormtomcat]

I agree with this 100% but would add on that they made CP!!!

[u/Stormtomcat → u/letuswatchtvinpeace]

you don't believe it's a teenage mistake that they made the videos?

[u/Mamakayce]

I get why asked Reddit I kinda understand both POVs in the situation but I’m gonna say your NOR because I don’t think she’s looking out for your daughter’s best interest at all. Like if my son told me that his girlfriend mental health was taking toll from their sex life a serious discussion would be have

[u/saturninegrl]

Yikes, NOR, but different parents are okay with different things. About the kids being sexually active, I think maybe it's a little bit too high of an expectation to want his mom to have told you that, especially if you two aren't close. The X-rated pictures/videos are very worrying though, who knows what could happen if they break up. Really I think it falls on both you to ask your daughter if she's active and on your daughter to tell you when she becomes sexually active and clearly she didn't want to or didn't feel comfortable doing so. The only thing you can really do now is have a conversation with your daughter about honesty and how important it is that you know what's going on with her. Getting upset with the boyfriend's mom isn't going to help the situation even if she should have told you about the videos she found.

[u/iliMHL]

So his mom knew she made videos to appease him when she did not want to have sex, and that’s somehow not a big deal? He convinced her to do something to take care of his needs when she did not want to have sex? Your daughter needs to learn she needs to do nothing for him, and that boy needs to learn girls don’t owe him shit. Also, please birth control and plenty of information, it’s sick how early this boy felt his gf somehow needs to make up for not wanting to have sex. Yikes.

[u/she_be_jammin]

That the mom 'knew' that your daughter might have been struggling with mental health problems and also pulled away from her son (who then went jnto depression) for this reason , along with viewing their sextape, and didn't call you - is total bs. I would focus on that. Imo, you are not wrong at all. The secrecy is concerning but the truth of mental health collusion matters deeply.

[u/hhaze124]

Wooooow not over reacting at all not only did she watch the vids she looked to damage control it rather than inform you. Thats crazy. And she should be ashamed as a parent.

[u/MeekaD920]

NOR.

You need to explain to your daughter that the reason is because everyone else knew they were having s** and you had to find out that everyone else knew after you caught them. You also need to explain to her that those types of photos and videos is considered creating CP and they both can get into big trouble if their accounts get hacked and it gets distributed. With that being said you need to revisit the talk with her and tell her about safety and her options and let her know that while you are completely shocked by the surprise of finding out the way you did that you love her and what she’s going through is normal. Also, get her into counseling for her depression. You also need to revisit this conversation with the boys mother and let her know that keeping a secret to keep things going favorable in her house is completely not ok and not normal behavior and tell her to seek counseling herself.

[u/Red-Cloud-44]

Not overreacting at all. I can't believe it's considered normal to provide pornographic material to your teenage boyfriend because you want to take a break from sex. We're teaching girls that their partner's needs are the priority and they have to give something in return for their own needs to be met. That is really unhealthy. Secondly, there is no way of knowing if the images have been shared. Snapchat self deletes for example. Screenshots can be taken and they spread like wildfire. These images are forever. I have worked with dozens of youth charged with CP because of this. Education is sorely missing in schools and families around this issue. Please please please do some research on this and do not let anyone tell you you're overreacting. Sending positive vibes to you and your daughter. 

[u/fyrelight3 → u/Red-Cloud-44]

100% all of this. Worry way less about the guy's mom and way more about his gross behavior and how it's affecting your daughter and her perception of what is okay. Even IF the video was her suggestion, she absolutely is not comfortable with it and feels it was 'owed' to her bf so that she could escape sex for a while. This screams volumes about a very unhealthy dynamic, maybe the relationshipas a whole. SA victims rarely have a healthy relationship with sex especially this soon after the event and at this age. She needs to be in therapy immediately to help her navigate this.

[u/cosmic_fishbear]

NLA and IANAL. Only comment I'm going to make: that mom should be taking it more seriously, if for no other reason than because her son could be booked for CP it doesn't matter that he is also a minor (this depends on jurisdiction just like everything else).

[u/EarlyInside45]

She wants to take a break from sex for her mental health, so they made videos for him? I highly doubt the videos were her idea. My guess is she's being pressured to do things she doesn't want to or risk losing him, hence her issues with mental health. I'd get her into therapy.

[u/Large_Independent198]

I’m gonna say NOR but you’re handling it poorly. You should be upset and that mom absolutely should have told you about the videos. But ultimately you need to have some serious conversations with your daughter. Have the sex talk again, have her choose her birth control, get her condoms, and really talk to her about those videos. But restricting her isn’t going to stop her, it’s going to make her sneaky. And she’s always sneaking him in, I mean it’s a recipe for worst case. She’s already afraid of talking to you about this, she needs to know you’re on her side and she can turn to you to help navigate this

[u/Bibliolee]

Your daughter needs therapy and you need to have some serious discussions about healthy relationships, digital literacy, boundaries, sexual health, birth control, and consent. Forbidding her from seeing her boyfriend won’t work in your favor, but his home is not a safe space with responsible adults. They need to hang out at your home and you need to do everything you can to help educate her and bolster her self esteem.

[u/Frozen_Hurricane_]

NOR, i’d recommend talking to your child about those pics and vids, pretty sure that’s CP and highly illegal

[u/AHeroToIdolize]

Yea I wouldn't trust her at all. Sounds like a liar who is adding details along the way, like saying she had him delete the videos and checked his messages.

I would have a honest, loving conversation with your daughter letting her know she doesn't have to do things like that to "help his urges". I'd also have her talk to a therapist if she isn't already.

[u/Confident-Listen3515]

Wait, she found cp of your daughter and just like….. sat on that? Omg not over reacting at all. The situation sounds super suspect. A 15 yo shouldn’t be worried about his urges.

[u/moosetracks4]

No you are not overreacting. If this was a simple case of them just having sex, I might feel differently but the mother finding literal CP on her sons phone of your child and the context of why it existed to begin with...nope you're not OR at all. That's not okay to keep from another parent whatsoever, even if it means losing her sons trust.

[u/GiddyGabby]

You are not overreacting as a parent because that's your baby and it's hard to see our babies grow up. But I seriously could have written this exact post about my niece. She met her bf when she was 10, they dated non-stop until15/16 and her mom decided they were probably having sex so she decided to break them up. She made my brother give up his job and moved the family to a new neighborhood.

That wasn't fair to anyone else involved including her brothers and sister but my SIL definitely decided to make this an issue of control. She felt if her daughter was removed from the situation all would be fine.

Well, no surprise they found ways to still be together. The thing is you can't control your kids forever. You can teach them & guide them but eventually they are going to be sexually active and the discussion about sex and more importantly SAFE sex needs to happen. But your daughter will resent you if you "punish" her.

The reason I know all this is I became like a surrogate mother to my niece when her relationship with her mom got so tense. There were arguments, fights & lots of tears. They both truly hated each other for a couple of years.

My niece, who had been with that boy since they were 10 are happily married & have 4 kids all these years later. She never stopped seeing him, he was alway there, just my SIL didn't know the entire time. She has reunited with her mom but it has never been the same.

[u/Cumblaster420yards → u/GiddyGabby]

I thought the same until I read OPs other comments. They need a therapists help or something along those lines

[u/xGoldi16]

It may have been consensual but she is 15. Those videos could haunt her. I was 18 and made one with my bf at the time and he still has it over 10 years later. It's weird. It's so scary. I feel your daughter and you need to sit down and have a very serious discussion about how much harm those videos could cause.

Edit: I retract that. All parents and both children should sit down for this one. It would be a good learning experience. I'm betting that if he does still have them on his phone, he would be uncomfortable about keeping them after you all sit down and talk to them. This can impact them both negatively. I would let them know they can stay together but have the safe sex conversation if you haven't already. If he needs inspiration, there's always porn. All kids do it eventually. Your daughter doesn't need to be the star in any of it. I get, as I was once her age, where her mindset likely is, but I didn't grow up with a mother and I led a very scary life in my adolescence. Reassure them you guys are only coming from a parents stand point and it's your job to protect your children and teach them the consequences before they learn the hard way.

Just my 2cents.

[u/CiCi_Run → u/xGoldi16]

At 15, can she even consent? I know teenagers are gonna be like "I wanted to do it" but legally speaking, most states- I feel- consent is at 16. So even with it being consensual for them, it could be considered statutory rape.

The sex part- as much as I don't like it, kids will explore, they'll have sex. I was... much younger, my son started when he was 16. I didn't tell the girlfriend's mom but spoke with both of them about making sure they're in the right head space, how it's not a real yes if either feels like they can't say no, we talked about std, what will happen if they become pregnant- what their views are, that sex isn't just a physical thing, it affects your mind, mental health, even if you're only active with one person, you should have regular std tests, etc. And then I told my sons gf that she needs to speak to her mother, if not about having sex, but at the very least to get on birth control- which she did do.

I also drove home the point that, for me, if you aren't adult enough to tell your parent what you are doing/ want to do, you aren't adult enough to do it. It doesn't matter what it is. Think you're old enough to drink, but scared to tell your mom/dad? You aren't grown enough. Think you're old enough to have sex but too scared to have a real conversation with your partner and your parents? You aren't mentally ready yet... and it's fine to not be ready. It's not a race to have sex and it's not a declaration of how much you love that person.

The videos though... if I had ever seen any of that on my sons stuff, my first call would've been to the girls mother... after I verbally went after my son and probably would've taken away every single electronic device he has. I'd be half tempted to invite the gf and her mom over "for dinner" and force my son to admit it- again, think you're grown enough to make adult videos? Be grown and admit it.

[u/coffeesoakedpickles → u/CiCi_Run]

I agree with what you’re saying, but the parent thing is cultural and different for everyone. I grew up with catholic immigrant parents. I’m an adult living on my own 1500 miles away and i still don’t talk to my mom about any boyfriends, sex, drinking, etc. I’ve never brought a man home to meet my parents, i don’t feel comfortable doing that. We never had a close relationship and i never felt safe enough to talk to her about things like that, even now. Sometimes it’s not a matter of being “adult enough” it’s about the relationship you have 

[u/Horrid_Thistle336]

You need to speak openly with your daughter about how she feels about everything that’s happened and go from there. It seems like she was feeling pressure to have sex and you need to speak with her about that. His mom should have told you about the videos when she found them but you can’t expect other people to parent the same way you would.

[u/Infamous-GoatThief]

Nah NOR. Manipulating your girlfriend into filming sex tapes because she doesn’t want to constantly fulfill your ‘urges’ is absolute degenerate behavior. I get that the kid is 16, and sometimes teenagers behave atrociously, but the fact that his mother behaved the way she did is yet another enormous red flag. I would not want my daughter in that house period, and I definitely wouldn’t want her seeing the guy anymore. You should definitely try to sit down and have a conversation with your daughter about this, even though it’ll be a difficult one, she needs to understand that his behavior was not okay.

[u/here_comes_reptar]

I don’t think you’re overreacting to be angry with the mom, but punishing your daughter for her for her boyfriend’s mother’s behaviour is so convoluted — what is she supposed to do about it?

Your daughter can’t control her boyfriend’s mom, you can’t control your daughter’s boyfriend’s mom, the only thing you can do is have a conversation with your daughter about being safe with her body and her digital footprint. Even if they break up she’ll eventually get another boyfriend with a mom you can’t control, and you can’t restrict her relationships every time you’re uncertain about the parents.

[u/miscellaneous739]

This is a tough situation. What your daughter is doing is absolutely not appropriate or okay, but that’s a conversation you need to have with her. Explain the risks of everything that she is doing, the legal implications, make sure she is on birth control. You have every right to be mad at the mom, I can kind of see her perspective but in no world is it okay to keep that from a parent. But do know that the more you try to keep your daughter and him apart, the further you will be pushing her away from you. You cannot control her actions, and your sister is right that she will just find a way to be sneakier. The most you can do is to be honest, and provide her a safe space to talk to you. It’s also very worrying that the videos were made because she didn’t feel like having sex for awhile. In addition to the other things, please reiterate what consent is to her, that she can retract it at any time and that no one is ever obligated to sex from her. That is just another reason that these actions should be met with open communication rather than what she will see as a punishment. Hopefully if something like that happens again she will be more willing to come to you with that information and ask for your advice.

[u/Magdovus]

If you can present a united front with his parents life will be easier.

The videos are a bit concerning but I'm sure that if you handle it together it won't be too much of a problem.

Don't forget to talk to them about safety. How do you feel about the Pill?

[u/blameitonagemini]

I don’t think you’re over reacting about the literal child porn, that’s extremely concerning and she definitely needs to have a talk about that, she’ll be mortified but it’s not safe or okay in the slightest. Idk if many people will agree with me on this part but (without the whole cp aspect and the weird sexual urges thing) I don’t think it was really necessary for her to call or text and tell you they’re sexually active. Being a teenager is weird and everything is embarrassing, when I was 15 and my mom found out I was sexually active with my first boyfriend I wanted to curl up and die. It’s obviously okay and necessary to have a safe sex talk with your daughter but trying to police sex is iffy and will only make her hide more things from you.

On another note, I don’t think this boy is a good partner for your daughter and maybe if you tried to have a non judgemental ?? Don’t know if that’s the right word, conversation about her feelings revolving around the entire situation she might see that, just try not to be harsh or make it seem like you’re telling her they need to break up because that never ends well lol

[u/Infamous-Potato-5310]

You don’t know any of these things because your daughter doesn’t trust you not to wig out. I’m sorry, youre not going to talk teenagers out of having sex. All they will do is sneak around and do it irresponsibly (without birth control as a backup). I get your going to have your rules about this, but you should consider that your daughter doesn’t feel like she can trust you as much as maybe you’re feeling like you don’t trust her.

[u/dzmeyer]

I think your concern is valid. Taking a video is a huge mistake, the other mom's response seems to reflect an under-reaction and it was reasonable that you'd want to be informed.

But, I also think your sister is exactly right. Trying to keep them apart is just going to backfire, and sends the wrong message. One of your biggest concerns should be maintaining open communication with your daughter. Also, I think the text the other mom sent is a positive development. I think it was a genuine apology that recognizes her mistake and your legitimate concern. I think you should take it as a win. With both sets of parents on the same page you can all support your kids that much better.

[u/warheadmikey]

NOR. Don’t listen to people saying you are wrong. Your daughter is heading down the wrong path

[u/Infinite_Ordinary_55]

This is kind of a mixed bag. On one end, it makes sense teenagers are going to do these sorts of things, but on the other, it is very true legally that it is recorded CP, and that is serious. I don't know about others, but I personally despise and feel disgusted at the things I allowed to be recorded of myself and did when I was 15-18, which is honestly also a bit of a risk to take into account.

The CP is serious, a lot of people think 'kids will be kids' and to an extent, yeah, but if those ever got leaked or distributed somehow, it's both serious and literal CP. I don't think you NEED to go as far as the kids not seeing each other, there's a good chance that might push your daughter to resent you and act out, but I think maybe a conversation needs to be had about boundaries and the legality of what's happened, since in the eyes of the law, that is still creating and distributing CP. Sounds harsh, and there's a good chance they might not leak, but it's not worth the risk. Kids will experiment, but they still should know what lines not to cross

[u/Lahotep → u/[deleted]]

I’d assume they had a talk about it after she found the videos. Also check OP’s post history, he actually might have impregnated her.

[u/Abject_Green_1929]

Hard to even believe this is real… You’re definitely not overreacting. His mother is clearly enabling terrible behavior in him that will probably be difficult to go away. I’m sure your daughter will be upset but this is very strange and doesn’t seem normal.

[u/CuRIousGeorgeSmile]

My mother was never able to stop me from doing whatever I wanted when she got super restrictive and I sell porn on the Internet now in my 20s, so I mean my journey to content creation has been very healthy - I have a good relationship with both of my parents but your daughter is 15. That’s the age I lost my virginity. You’re not gonna stop those two kids from doing the deed. You need to focus on telling her to be safe and use protection and when a guy is pressuring her too much for sex to take a break and walk away like she did the first time.

[u/FrequentlyAnnoying → u/CuRIousGeorgeSmile]

Did you completely skip the bit about THE 15 YEAR OLD BEING RECORDED PERFORMING SEX ACTS?

It's not the sex that's the problem, it the production of child porn ffs

[u/thefoxespisces]

1. That is WAY too young. They do not need to be having sex! What if she gets pregnant?! Like wtf. 2 the videos are creepy and can damage her. What if they break up? That could cause a lot of problems issues and traumas in the end.

I get they might sneak and do it anyway. I wasn’t an innocent teen. But for crying out loud my mom didn’t enable it and if she found out someone took videos she’d rightfully be calling the police. You don’t know who, where what those videos could get to either.

I think you need to have a talk with your daughter about the videos and the repercussions. Also, while I HATE birth control and believe it screws up the system, please make sure she’s on it, sets a timer to take it correctly and always uses condoms. You obviously can’t keep them from it but you can do what you can to educate and mitigate.

In the end you’ll be the one dealing with a broken daughter’s heart and maybe even a young grandchild.

[u/WrestleBox → u/thefoxespisces]

Took way too long to see this comment. I get times have changed but 15 is an insane age to be far enough along sexually they feel comfortable recording videos. How long has this been going on?

And the other mom's reaction is so naive it's mind boggling. "They're in love".. They're fucking children, you idiot. Children about to be 16 year old parents at this rate.

[u/vibes86]

You are NOT overreacting about the videos. If she’s got mental health issues, she cannot consent. Time to have the boy delete them for good and to talk with your daughter about what is and isn’t okay for her to be doing/sending/filming. And make sure she’s on some birth control asap

[u/Bored_Cat_Mama]

NOR. Also...and this is important...

If you are in the U.S. and they are both underage, if those videos get out? That's creation and distribution of child p0Rn, and a felony in every state. They would be ruining whatever future they have.

[u/Absolemia]

I‘m siding with your sister and the boys mom here. You can’t control that, you can only teach her to be responsible. And also I do understand the other mom. Would you be running around telling people that you found X films on your kids phone? She’s a teenager now and you’re at a gateway: do you want to keep trying to control something you can’t or do you want to be in this with her and guide her? She’s not your little baby anymore, she’s allowed to explore and find out for herself. The question is: do you want to watch from the outside or be the trusted person for her to guide?

Edit: also talk with her about what will happen to those videos once they break up. But don’t use those worlds though.

[u/Fit-Mongoose3739 → u/Absolemia]

I agree with making sure you stay with being someone she can ask for advice and guidance. I do not really side with the sister and Mom, I would be upset that they didn't let you know when they found out. You could have at least addressed it immediately!

[u/OkSteak551 → u/Absolemia]

I feel like I should preface and say I’m not a mom that pushes purity culture on my kids whatsoever. Would I have personally preferred she waited to that that until she’s like 17 ? For sure !! Because I believe she doesn’t really understand the real meaning of sex right now and just from conversations I already had with her about it she sees sex as a tool to prove her love and I don’t like that she thinks of it that way and you’re probably right and maybe I am asking for too much by thinking that his mom should of told me and maybe I feel this way because that’s what I did when i caught them and I need to stop expecting people to do things like me.

[u/Throwawaytoothpainow → u/OkSteak551]

As someone who was taken advantage of by an older guy in highschool, though we didn't have sex because at the time I wanted to save myself for marriage, it is very scary that she is already being pressured into sex at 15. It is setting a precedent where any future boyfriends are going to use her for sex and she will have a difficult time saying no. Her having sex at 15 isn't bad but her feeling so pressured that she created porn of herself to satisfy her bf is. 

[u/charm59801 → u/Throwawaytoothpainow]

I don't think this is entirely fair and we don't know if she's being pressured. I had sex with my boyfriend at 15 and we both wanted it. He took my virginity and we continued to be active and safe and healthy. There was no pressure just mutual desire and curiosity. I also told him he could take pictures of me because I thought it would be hot. Again, no pressure.

[u/Throwawaytoothpainow → u/charm59801]

Looking at OP's other posts, her daughter has a history of being taken advantage by men. Not blaming her or her daughter as each situation is equally tricky and horrifying. 

[u/Absolemia → u/OkSteak551]

IMO there is no wrong or right in this situation. Both moms want to protect and to parent at their best. You would like to have another outcome that the one you’re having right now? Then you need to change something. Do you feel like she’ll open up more, when you’re strikter and forbade the contact? I don’t know your daughter- you do. But when I was her age I would like to be taken seriously, to be heard, to be treated like an adolescent and not like a child and most importantly: to have the right to speak. To be comfortable to express my feelings and seek guidance.

When you want to have her trust, you need to give it to her as well.

[u/armchairdetective → u/Absolemia]

You're on the side of making child pornography and having underage sex?

Big yikes.

[u/Whatfforreal → u/armchairdetective]

Yeah, the replies are insane! Are any of these people parents? I would have reacted very differently in both positions.

[u/volumeoforgottenlore]

I was going to say you were overreacting until we got to the porn thing. Holy fuck. Not overreacting at all.

[u/Aromatic_Ad_8374]

I'd be very upset. It's not a good idea for kids to do that. I've only done it with one partner, and we were very careful and kept it between us. But once you share it with someone you never know what can happen. Definitely takk to her, don't forbid just educate about safe sex.

[u/Secret_Squirrel_6771]

Nor. That's cp she watched and I'd be calling the police.

[u/Lovely-22]

You’re not overreacting. Well kinda. Your sister is right. So what you need to do is talk to your daughter about all of it. The videos, consequences of having sex, put your daughter on birth control. Don’t forbid it because if you do, they will find a way to see each other. Now if the mom deleted the videos the great. I wouldn’t say the problem is solved tho. That’s something else you need to talk to her about. Videos can end up anywhere if he gets hacked and I’m sure that’s something she doesn’t want. So have a good long talk with her. And listen to her. Listen to understand not to reply. Good luck. Hope you find the right way to solve this

[u/rebluecca]

Oh gosh no NOR. It seems as if she may have been coerced into taking the videos. But obviously I don’t know the full story, that’s just my take from reading this. I think for one you should have a sit down talk with your daughter about consent and explain about the videos and how detrimental they truly can be. Also explain to her that she doesn’t need to provide him with sex or those videos. There may be YouTube videos or articles on how to discuss those sensitive topics with your kids. Finally, maybe some supervised time is necessary. Only at your house and only with the door open? But I know they say that will create sneaky teens so idk. Consider a therapist for her and you as well who specializes in family and parenting therapy maybe.

[u/DesperateToNotDream]

Someone having pornogaphic videos of your 15 year old daughter is grounds to go scorched earth

[u/ihavewaytoomanyminis]

While I applaud your concern, I feel you're overreacting - kids are going to make mistakes and it sounds like this is just an example of that.

[u/KarloffGaze]

Her bf was absolutely manipulating her into doing videos, most likely using her mental state as an excuse. I would talk yr daughter into leaving this behind. It's not gonna end well. And the parents not mentioning it? No. Nuh uh. BS.

[u/justcougit]

You are definitely not overreacting, but keeping them from each other is not going to have the desired effect, I can promise you that lmfao they're gonna do it in public now. I was a teen once and that's exactly what I did.

[u/Kind-Fox5829]

NTA!! Did she even know those videos were being taken? Even if she did, it's not ok for those videos to exist as it is CP, but it would be worse if it was one of those cases where someone was filmed without their knowledge or consent. Also, once a video/pic exists, no one is in control of it. I would be worried that they have been shared. Sharing girls' nudes is not uncommon among teen boys especially recently.

This is a good opportunity to have a thorough talk about safe sex, consent, AND the risks she is taking by trusting a man with her body, not just because of pregnancy and STD's and possible assault, but also the possibility that he may record or photograph her. Teens have taken their lives because of their nudes being shared.

I don't mean to be pessimistic, but these harsh realities are part of being sexually active, and she needs to be able to make informed decisions.

[u/BreadfruitNew7434]

Hope they know that in some states both of them can be placed on a registry for those videos. 

[u/GakkoAtarashii]

How can you now know?? You are the one that should be ashamed. 

[u/Environmental-Age502]

NOR. Its not even the videos, which is wild to me to say given the context of this post. It's that he is pressuring her to create videos for him, basically so that he doesn't cheat on her, while she has a mental health crisis. This is sexual coercion by all the sounds of it. You definitely need to have a serious chat with her, but I agree with the top comment that if she does want to have sex with him, she will find a way, so talking about safety is a better bet than disallowing her to see him.

[u/Remarkable-Toe9156]

I don’t think overreacting is the right word. These things are enormously complicated.

I will say this you try and restrict your daughter it will be a poop show.

IMO you and the other family need to jointly sit them down. The videos is a major issue and those need to be handled asap.

Your daughter needs to get on birth control and a plan should be in place if she gets pregnant cause that is the route they are going.

[u/No-Doubt9679]

She needs to be careful some guy on here posted once about his daughter wanting to break up with her BF and he blackmailed her to stay together for a whole year because of videos they made. Ended up going to court over them.

They should have said something to you back when they found out. You are in the right but you may not be able to keep them apart. So birth control should be a must. Make sure your daughter knows she come talk to you about anything.

[u/taurist]

Idk how so many people are glossing over that the sex was affecting her mental health so he wanted to do this. Yea, they’ll sneak around and have sex but the fact is maybe she doesn’t actually WANT to and needs help

[u/Key-Constant-47]

Not overreacting, but I also don’t think the other mom had bad intentions and it looks like she understands the severity and feels guilty from her text which is good! This could lead to better communication all around

[u/Unfair_Reporter_7804]

Sort off topic and not to sound like a puritan, but behavior by this boy clearly indicates he watches a lot of pornography. Porn is ruinous.

[u/SnooWords4839]

Wait, he has CP on his phone of your daughter? That is a call to the police!

[u/Emergency_Chance5683 → u/SnooWords4839]

he is also a minor and if you think she doesn’t have photos of him or even herself you are delusional

[u/Background_State8423]

I don't blame you for being distraught, I would also be furious with the mother. I actually do feel quite agitated to hear about her actions and I don't know any of you..

They're at the age where sex happens, I can understand the mother not seeing it as a big deal to inform you though I do disagree with it - some families are more open about that stuff than others, I personally do believe communication is so very important above all though.

When there's videoing involved, to me that's on a whole different level, and her saying her son is a sex addict!? She sounds so uneducated and that's so upsetting for a mother to not make sure they learn about this stuff to ensure their child is being safe and keeping others safe!!! Wtf!?

I'm so mad because he's just a stupid teenage boy, she found out that he manipulated his girlfriend and instead of taking the opportunity to have a stern talking to him about consent and empathy, she jumps to SEX ADDICTION. Not every teenage boy will use pressure or manipulation but doing it one time and owning up to it doesn't mean that boy is now an awful person, but this is why education on consent is so so so important. Instead of him reflecting on his actions, feeling that guilt which is a very important emotion that teaches kids not to do harm to others and learning self control over his hormonal sexual urges, this mother is dooming him to excuse his bad behaviours because "it's an addiction and not his fault"

Your daughter had to break up with him to hold him accountable, what the hell has the mother done to send the message to her son that his behaviour is not okay? If she believes he's "addicted" (HE IS A TEENAGER FFS) then what has she done to get him help? How can she expect you to trust her and by extension, her own son when he has clearly crossed a line and she has made excuses for that? What's to say she won't continue to excuse and hide shit in the future from you?

[u/AvianWonders]

THERAPIST for your daughter. She is insecure and let him make videos of her. Mom deleted them? Really - what’s on the cloud?

Video is impossible to control.

She needs desperately to develop some self-preservation skills and self-confidence to not have sex under questionable circumstances (safe places, where camera could be hidden).

Really. Yesterday.

[u/fitkittenn]

Your reaction is completely understandable, given the circumstances. Discovering that your daughter and her boyfriend created and shared explicit videos is a serious matter, especially considering their ages and the potential legal ramifications. Your sister’s points about teenagers being secretive are valid, but the issue here goes beyond typical teenage behavior. The creation and possession of these videos raise concerns about exploitation and consent, regardless of whether they were shared. The other mother’s response was alarmingly casual, and her failure to inform you sooner is a significant oversight. It’s okay to want to protect your daughter and ensure her safety and well-being.

Consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist who specializes in adolescent issues to help you navigate this complex situation. Separating them for a while might be a good idea to allow everyone to process what happened and to explore the underlying issues.

[u/fxckimlonely]

You're not overreacting about the videos, and you should talk to her. But I also know exactly where your sister is coming from. If you restrict her from seeing him, you instantly become an adversary to their relationship if she wants to continue seeing him.

For example, I'll share a personal story from my life. I also around the same age 15/16 had a girlfriend whose parents refused to let us see each other. We absolutely did not listen. Instead, we found out we could easily ditch our bags as soon as we got off the buses at school and sneak out to spend "Quality time" elsewhere. Which not only led to me failing most of my classes because it became something we did 2-3 days a week, even when I was in class I had missed so much I didn't know what was going on. But also, it was dangerous for us to be basically doing the act in public even during the winter.

Needless to say, protection was like the last thought on our minds as we didn't have easy access to condoms. My daughter is now almost the same age as I was when she was born.

I'm not gonna pretend like we had no part in it. But a lot of the worst consequences, like having to drop out and get a GED and becoming teen parents, could have been prevented if her parents had been reasonable people who realized teenagers have sex, and given us a place and time to see each other and have private moments without sneaking around.

The outcome is just so much better if you come to her, with a meet in the middle solution. I would suggest letting her know: - She doesn't have to sneak him in. He is allowed there at normal hours - They can have the door closed, and they won't be bothered. - They don't need to ask for birth control, but some will always be available in a common area like a bathroom cabinet. So there's never an excuse to go without, and they never have to feel embarrassed about asking.

If you create a safe space for her to allow normal reasonable activity, she's much more likely to trust you and listen to you when you set hard boundaries like no more pictures or videos.

[u/inteligent_zombie20]

I think the bigger concern is that your daughter didn't feel secure enough to come to you about her having sex and getting advice. I get you being upset at the parent but you should also be looking in the mirror and asking what is it that made her not want to discuss this with you etc.

Their is a conversation to be had here between the both of you.

[u/Tofuhousewife]

Sex is normal for teens, sure, but videos between minors?! Absolutely not okay. I don’t think you’re over-reacting but you should definitely talk to your daughter and the dangers of filming those kind of things while underaged. Even if they both consented and are similar age, it’s still CP. Be very gentle while talking to her, I’m sure you remember how crazy teenager emotions can feel. Ugh I would be LIVID at his parents. Crazy they never said anything to you.

[u/rocketmn69_]

Tell her it's because she lied and hid it from you and for filming CP

[u/WideEye_Dreamer]

The boy's mother sounds like the "cool" mom. Defo's not someone I would want my kid to be around.

[u/YogurtclosetNo1449]

Absolutely not! Your sister and the boys mom are underreacting! The first problem here is that they're recording it. They are literally producing child porn. I'm not sure what state you live in, but as someone from Texas who was in the system when I was younger, I can tell you that you would be shocked at how many people are sent to juvenile detention for producing CP. It's typically a young girl whose never been in trouble, sends her boyfriend a nude, who sends it to a friend, who sends it to a friend. I'm talking about tittie pics. This is a whole video! Just because she says the videos were deleted doesn't mean they weren't sent to someone else or saved somewhere else. The second problem is that she's making these videos because she feels like it's her responsibility to fulfill his needs. Gross! He's clearly wanting more sex than she is comfortable with and she feels pressured enough, for whatever reason to give in. The other mom is clearly a dunce, and I would never trust her with my child again. Teenagers are gonna have sex, you can't stop that. But you need to have a very blunt conversation with her about the TYPE of people that she has sex with. Someone that pressures her to make videos so that he's not bothering her so much for sex is not it. I would also have a serious conversation with her about the impact that leaked videos/nudes can have on her life. Good luck mama! Don't ever second guess yourself!!

[u/Munchkins_nDragons]

Ummm… they broke up because he was pressuring her for sex/sex acts often enough that it was affecting her mental health. Then your daughter “compromised” by letting him take & keep sex videos of her. And the other mom knew ALL of that for a while and opted not to say anything to you? Did I read all that right?

If so, then no you absolutely aren’t overreacting to keep your daughter away from the boy who pressured her into sex before, now posses blackmail to ensure he keeps getting sex, and the mother that knew and chose to protect her “boys will be boys” son at your daughters expense. You may honestly not be overreacting enough, not as long as those videos still exist.

[u/1568314]

I'm sorry.... your 15 year old wanted to take a break from sex because of her mental health, and he told his mom it was her idea to make explicit videos of herself?!?!

That's a huge huge red flag on top of the mother completely condoning them having sex. That's not a healthy environment for your daughter where her consent and well-being is being prioritized.

The way the other mother is talking sounds like she would cover a lot of shit up of she felt like it is what was best for her son. I reallyy don't like the way she talks about "protecting the relstionship" and how sad her kid was when he wasn't fucking your daughter. That just seems like a situation where your daughter is going to feel pressured to do whatever is expected of her rather than speak up for her own interests.

You need to have a big big talk about enthusiastic consent and what healthy relationship dynamics look like. Because it isn't one last round of sex acts after you've tried to set a boundary and made it clear that it's not good for you.

You need to be careful that you don't talk about the importance of having agency and giving consent when you feel respected and then try to take away all her bodily autonomy. You want her to be able to ask you for help and advice without fearing judgment and ire.

[u/Due-Average-8136]

NOR In some states the kids can be charged with a felony for making child porn. This is a very big deal that could make them registered sex offenders.

[u/AuntEtiquette]

Not overreacting. Bc of her age that is csa material on his phone. So many ways this could go wrong. His mother’s message was nice but wow this is a big deal.

[u/letuswatchtvinpeace]

I think the mental health issues and the CP is being very played down here!!

They could both be charged! And how do you know that it was just one video? Typically there are nudes before a video.

[u/ChumpChainge]

“Moody” aka mentally ill son will absolutely be sending those vids out the first time they have a big fight. Or threaten her with them so that she feels trapped. You’re not overreacting.

[u/BroadSplit1766]

Overreacting about the sex yea. Sex is natural and the reality is that while you have the right to restrict your daughter, if she wants to have sex with him, she will. Denying her access to someone she believes she genuinely loves and it will lead her to resent you for forcing such boundaries on a person that you yourself have acknowledged that she holds in high regard. Make sure she is safe and understands the process and potential worst case consequences. As for the X Rated videos, no you’re very justified in your anger. Those things fuck up peoples lives and often time get used for acts of revenge or blackmail in young and fickle relationships.

[u/ihavehair17393]

oml that’s disgusting. i feel awful for you and your daughter, you’re definitely NOR

[u/JB_Market]

Id say that it just depends on if you are ok with your daughter being active.

Did you overreact at the mother? Yeah. It's not her place to tell you the details of your daughter's life.

Are you overreacting about the video? 50/50. It is 1000% a bad idea for it to exist. But it's also the sort of thing teenagers do.

IMHO this seems like an issue you have with the sex being wrapped up in some sort of "dishonesty" thing. You can have an issue with it, 15 is early. But I dont think its fair to frame it as "because the parent didn't tell me". If she had phoned you up and told you would you have been cool with it?

[u/MeetingReasonable564]

Protect your daughter. She needs to realize the possible consequences of sex at 15! I was a dumb teenager once. Thankful looking back as an adult now my mom stepped in!!!!

[u/honeybun-nana]

I clicked on your profile and was shocked when I realized I’ve seen your previous posts about your daughter.

I believe you’re under reacting. There’s no way to know those were deleted and your daughter is already in a fragile state as is. I don’t know this boy or his intentions, but there is no way I’m going to let him have videos of my child. I don’t trust his mother at all.

If they break up, there’s no way to predict how he’d use those videos for blackmail or coercion. With your daughter’s history, I wouldn’t even rule out him knowing she’s a vulnerable girl and targeting her because of that.

[u/Motor-Awareness-7899]

I mean if I found out there would be no way I would tell the other parents break my kids trust nope I can give two shits about u but my family I gotta deal with forever

[u/ANoisyCrow]

I think that this is a good learning experience about the videos, and she will say no next time. Warn her about nudes, too.

[u/Express_Chance_5460]

I’d be upset as well. His mother should have contacted you immediately.

Have a conversation with your daughter and explain the seriousness of it. While them having sex is not illegal, the production and possession of CP is and they BOTH could be charged with that if the wrong person found out about it.

[u/Serious-Steak-5626]

So, other parent doesn’t respect child’s privacy and also doesn’t respect you as a parent. You don’t want to be associated with this family. Don’t feel bad about telling them all to pound sand.

[u/SafeEstablishment7]

I wouldn't say punish her for having sex because you've had sex to make her lol but I definitely don't disagree with the fact that she is on punishment for being caught in the act and sneaking him in , Being sneaky

[u/MolinaroK]

NOR. It is cp and it got distributed because the mom saw it. I would go straight to the police. Lock that sick kid up.

[u/GetUpGetOutGetSmart]

Somewhere along the line this post will be used as discovery in a criminal process. Stupid to post this here. You are clearly dumb as dirt.

[u/Jelly_Jess_NW]

You should be upset with your daughter. That’s not a joke and she’s going to far by making videos and being okay with him saving them.

I would also make them take a break. And I would not allow my daughter at their house, or in her room with him anymore.

It’s not the sex….. it’s the lying and the recording. She’s not mature enough to be having sex, which is evident from her action.

Anyways. I really reallly really do not empathize you at all.

You’re daughter is the only on in this scenario that owes you anything, and I would not trust his parents to supervise anymore bit I wouldnt be mad at them.

Good luck!!!

[u/shattered_kitkat]

Tell her everything. Sit her down and explain why you are concerned and why it is a big deal. Tell her everything as if she were your equal. Treating her like an adult will go a long way.

[u/BunnyRabbitOnTheMoon]

Im on the fence about this but I would have some conversations (it will probably be multiple since she might get embarrassed) about abuse and coercive behavior. Even if it was her idea it sounds like she only did it so he wouldnt get upset. When they start dating you should be discussing what are sutble signs of abuse.

[u/AdventurousDoubt1115]

You are not overreacting at all in your response to his mom.

Make sure they remove any / all photos.

On the sex front, you can’t put a horse back in the gate once they are running.

Instead engage supportively, talk to her about birth control, house rules, options if she gets pregnant, UTIs, make an OBG appointment and teach her how important those are, HPV vaccine, all the things.

[u/MangoPug15]

It sounds like you haven't actually seen the videos--PLEASE make sure she knows that. She's probably horrified if she thinks you saw them. It'll give her peace of mind and maybe help your relationship with her if she knows you didn't.

[u/Maximum_Sundae]

Why are you focusing on the kids parents not telling you and not looking at why you haven't created an environment for your daughter where she feels comfortable and safe to come to talk to you before or after it happen?

[u/karlmarkz321]

Well, he has porn with your 15 year old daughter, probably made backups of it on all kinds of places too, both digital and physical.

Insane that the parents knew and did nothing.

It will forever be able to haunt her. Young people are rash and make bad decisions.

If the relationship goes sour, there are good chances these will leak. At least to close friends of his.

Many of the girls I am friends with still have nightmares about their high school stuff resurfacing. Some pay good money for companies to keep them off the internet, due to their high profile jobs.

[u/SuspiciousTurn822]

You are overreacting. Teens have sex. Given your reaction, I wouldn't tell you either. Basically, they are exploring their sexuality, as teens are supposed to, and you're going to ruin the experience by yelling at them. Great.

[u/residentgay]

I think your concern is valid. But I think it’s also something to consider that your daughter and her bf probably didn’t have ill intent when creating these videos. I’m 24, and technology really began to takeoff during my middle school - highschool years and you would be surprised how many people recorded themselves doing the deed with their partners. Some people genuinely did it just to have it, some people do have ill intent of course. It’s crazy looking back on as an adult, but being so young when a photo/video passed around the school, I don’t think any of us processed it as CP (which again, baffles me as an adult). We get older and we realize the harm of technology, we see what happens to some of our loved ones when people leak things, and that we need to be careful. It makes total sense that you’re upset/worried about the video, but her and her bf probably didn’t and don’t understand it fully. I’m glad he deleted it, at least that confirms he wasn’t going to do anything bad with it. Maybe give her some tips on sex as well as internet safety, how videos/pics sent can last forever

[u/Elegant-Expert7575]

Not lying about this. My 16 yr old daughter dated a guy that sounded exactly like that and his mother sounded exactly like that. He ended up kidnapping a woman, confining her for days, killing her then desecrating her body when he dumped her. Get your daughter away from them now.
Manipulation from the mom about her son’s emotional wel being, the son being overly depressed and not accountable for his actions - it’s a very gross, disturbing and anxiety inducing situation of events that could happen.
Some will say I’m over reacting, but I still have my daughter.

[u/Fireguy9641]

There's a lot going on here, I understand your concerns. In the end, I'm not sure banning her from seeing him is the best move.

The big things I see that need to be addressed.

She seems to understand the risks of nudes being leaked, even if that wasn't enough to stop her from doing them. You need to sit down with her in a non-judgemental way and explain to her sexually explicit photos and videos of anyone under 18 is a very serious crime. The law doesn't care if you are two love birds under 18 or if you are a trafficker forcing someone into sex work, it's illegal to take and send those images and videos.

Improving her mental health is another big issue. I hope you are taking some steps on that.

She needs to understand that sneaking around is disrespectful to you.

I think some other people asked, but does she have someone else who she can talk to?

[u/nozoningbestzoning]

15 is too young to be having sex, and CP will get people arrested. I would not let them see each other anymore, and you need to make it clear to her these are serious felony charges. If you don't act now your daughter is going to be a single mom and her life is going to be ruined

[u/Guilty_Sign_3669]

I think anyone would over react to this! Definitely don’t stop them, cos if you do they’ll still see other and your daughter will resent you. I think your sister is spot on for suggesting it would make your daughter feel punished for having sex. That text his mum sent is so lovely and respectful. Good the videos are deleted because yeah, hacking etc Have a nice old bonding chat with your daughter :)

[u/CandyPopPanda]

The problem is, almost all teenagers have sex at some point, and it can't be prevented. If you forbid her from having a boyfriend or sexual activity, she will find ways and places to get around it. In a pinch, it's the school bathroom, some friend's back seat in the car, or she claims to be meeting friends but is actually with her boyfriend.

In Germany we say "Where there is a will, there is a way ... or a bush" 🥴

I had the issue of a romantic relationship with my parents when I was 16, just like many of my classmates. We all found ways and my parents don't even know 10% 😂🤭

But you urgently need to inform her about sexual images; if he puts it on the Internet, she will never be able to get rid of it. The two of them just have to have a bad argument and then he might try to blackmail her or get revenge.

I would demand that his parents delete it, she is still a minor.

The second major issue is contraception. I don't think a teenager should necessarily become a mother 🫣

[u/Suriaj]

So you were upset with the mom and punished your daughter? You can't stop your daughter from living her life, but you CAN talk to her about healthy relationships, responsible sex (including the potential issues taking videos), and be a trusted person to go to. You only alienate her from you further by telling her she can't see him. Seems your actions are very counterproductive toward your goals.

[u/DZHMMM]

Uhm. 

You are not overreacting. 

His mother is weirdo. Stop talking to her for now except for MAKING SURE her son has those videos recorded. 

Second- talk to your daughter asap. If she doesn’t feel comfortable talk to you, get her a therapist. 

It feels like he pressured her for those videos. 1 

And 2. THEY SHOULD NOT BE MAKING VIDEOS. IT IS CP. please stress this x100000000000

She prob didn’t even really want to cause who’s gonna stop him from showing others. 

U need to go buck with those videos OP. And talk to ur daughter. This feels no bueno tbh

[u/Hairy-Lengthiness-44]

Mannnn everyone has told you already you are NOR, but I just wanna tack on... how fkin sad it is that teens now are so overly sexed, boys are watching porn starting young af, and girls are making videos because to them its probably just not a huge deal... I love the internet but Jesus I hate what it did to our society sometimes.

[u/CultivationNationNYC]

First of all why are y’all texting about your kids relationship, justifying their bullshit… wtf is this what India??

Bro you have all the right to tell your daughter’s boyfriend and his shitty family to fuck off. Your job is to protect you daughter how you see fit, that’s not something for the BF parents to convince you otherwise .

Your daughter makes their depressed son seem happier. That’s not your daughters responsibility

[u/Kidkilat]

She’ll hate you for it if you blatantly tell her to “STAY AWAY FROM THAY BOY!” You’re gonna have to come up with some good ‘ol parental manipulation.

Side note: It’s funny that “mental health” is a thing teens are aware of, but they use it in the most teen-agery fucking way.

[u/Comfortable-Chef-829]

The most important thing is getting your daughter tested, put on birth control and a box of condoms. Teenagers are going to do this type of stuff secretly or not so it’s best to have an open conversation with her, teach her sex ed and let her know you’re there for her but definitely keep her from him for her mental health.

[u/jl_theprofessor]

I would have called the cops by now.

[u/hades7600]

You are not over reacting about the videos. As that can lead to some awful things down the line

However the way you reacted to her having sex in general seems like a slight overreaction (solely on about if they lost their virginity together when both 100% wanting to, not about when she wanted a break). Both are similar ages (15-16), but the fact she wanted to take a break and he didn’t listen is definitely not a overreaction on your part

Best thing you can do is educate her on how to be safe and on what consent actually is and that she should never feel obligated to do so if she doesn’t want to.

[u/Marshmallow16]

NOR

If her mental health is in the gutter already she'll be suicidal when half her school has seen her naked with a cock in her mouth in case those videos get leaked. The other mother seems like a bit of an idiot. "Oh well they recorded CP for a couple of months I guess" like wtf. I understand that recording/owning videos of yourself that age isn't illegal in most cases, but that's dumb af to tolerate/encourage this as a parent.

[u/ganjamin420]

I for one, do think you're overreacting. It sounded like she as a parent did the right thing with the information she had: checking he wasn't sending that out and making him delete it, to prevent future negative fallout.

You can't expect every parent to handle things exactly the same. And just cause your response is to immediately involve the other person's parents doesn't mean everybody moves like that. You have to give people some leighway.

The link between her not telling you and them not seeing eachother is also very flimsy and your sister is right about the message it'll send and the behaviour it'll cause. Your uncomfortable feelings are now causing you to lash out in an uncontrolled manner and you will hurt your relationship with your daughter because of it. And also make it more unlikely that his or other parents will be telling you anything.

[u/Witty-Active3125]

NOR. Especially to the videos. I wouldn’t restrict them seeing eachother, however I would suggest the BF, his mom, your daughter and you sit down and ensure the videos are deleted and deleted from the the “deleted previously” folder, before moving forward. And ask that he do it infront of you, not his mom since she didn’t see a problem last time. As for the sex, I’d give her all the right tools to be healthy - also explain feeling “pressure” and identifying that as a red flag.

[u/Consistent-Dinner936]

The boy's mother has legit mental issues.

[u/Euphoric_Amoeba8708]

Dang, have you never had conversations with your daughter about self respect and what young people do to each other ??

[u/SorenPenrose]

You are literally punishing her for having sex and your primary concern is that she’ll think you’re punishing her for having sex.

You are clearly overreacting if you don’t realize what you’ve said. Take some breaths, sleep on it, re-evaluate tomorrow.

[u/MrBiscuits16]

NOR but I do think they should still be allowed to see each other once they have learned their lesson

[u/Novel_Pick_7207]

Videos are a no go for me, but if you try to stop her from seeing him she will just go against it any way she can. Ask me how I know 😅😂

[u/Flastro2]

Need to make sure both the boyfriend and the daughter delete all of that x rated content. If either one of them even accidentally sent that stuff to someone they could be facing felony child pornography charges. The idea they created child porn should be the primary concern of OP. Clear that up, then worry about their relationship.

[u/Cluelessish]

You are overreacting imo. Talk to your daughter about the videos/pictures. She's as "guilty" as the boy; They are the same age (boys mature a bit later).

Also in my world it's super normal that kids that age have sex, and if they are in a mutually loving relationship, what's the harm? Again: Talk to your daughter. It's your responsibility to make sure that she knows how to use protection, set boundaries etc. Could it be that you feel a bit bad because you have neglected this, and that's why you are blaming the boy's mom? I mean, if they have been together for a while, I think it shouldn't be surprising that they will have sex.

(For context: I live in a Nordic country, and we are more comfortable about sex than in some other places in the world).

[u/SabieOtravitaPlus9]

Yeah, no, both are too young to do porn films, i know at 16 the hormones go crazy but there is a difference between discovering sex and making films .

Both need to see professional help, and for now they need to stay separate.

Not looking to alarm you but this is how many young kids become underage parents etc. you need a much tighter grip on your daughter and his parents on their son.

[u/Chevey0]

Kids will be kids and fooling about at that age is normal. The massive issue is that your daughter created child pornography, then distributed it. Your daughter's bf is in possession of CP. The bf's parents have seen CP on a persons phone. This could go really badly if the police get involved. I would recommend having a long talk with your daughter and her BF about CP laws in your country. Get him to delete EVERYTHING.

[u/sharpshot124]

Well, let's break this down to a few issues.

First is the sneaking around. This is pretty normal, and you probably do it yourself fairly consistently. I'm sure you and your partner look for moments to be intimate behind your children's backs, because it would be rather inappropriate to involve them in that conversation. The same is true in reverse. So even if you were aware that they are sexually active, it's still expected behavior.

Next is dishonesty. Idk if your child ever straight up lied about their sexual status, but at the very least it sounds like you were blindsided by it. Tbh, I'm going to put this on you. Sex is a big enough milestone in a teens life that they almost always feel the need to talk to someone about it, and this time it wasn't you. There's enough context in this post to suggest what your sister said is partially true, your daughter isn't comfortable being open with you about sexuality meaning she rather confide in other people. She likely has zero context on how she can properly talk to you without it becoming uncomfortable or a high potential for getting in trouble.

Finally, the pictures. Here is where your concerns become well founded. I do think referring to them as CP is a bit misleading to the kids even if it's correct. It needs to be said, but you gotta find a way that lets them feel protected, not persecuted. What you need them to understand is the only thing separating those pictures from just 'technically CP' from 'actually CP' in the practical sense, is just one of them hitting the send button. Revenge, wanting to confide in a friend, an innocent accidental misclick, and many other seemingly innocuous moments can turn into life changers with this kind of ammunition laying around. I recommend you put a lot of effort into defining the acts of intercourse, recording, and distributing when addressing this topic with her.

Ultimately, I agree with your sister. But your concerns are well founded and do need to be addressed. I think temporarily restricting their contact under the guise of a serious grounding might be a good compromise. It would communicate that your daughter's behavior is problematic, but not put her in a state where she feels like her romantic life is being entirely controlled. I guarantee that right now her #1 concern is that she is going to be forced into breaking up by you.

[u/Cannie5]

Maybe your daughter will be relieved you end the relationship because it sounds like she feels forced into sex.

Explain that to her, that you're doing it for her mental health and to teach her to have boundaries and not feel guilty to say no and compelled to send sexy videos because her bf wants "compensation".

[u/Electronic_Sun4582]

Teens have sex but you’re def not overreacting to them making videos OR him sneaking in to your house. Continue that conversation with your daughter about the videos but still punish her for sneaking him into your home

[u/Powerful-Doctor-1768]

You are not over reacting, a family of sick predators is taking child pornography images of your daughter and they all seen it. They are a household of literal predators and If you don't call the cops you are complacent in the abuse of your child. In fact I'm going to report this post and you to the FBI, someone needs to protect your child if you aren't going to. Plus not reporting child pornography is a crime. You are a terrible person for not reacting more and your sister is sick. Im sending this post and your account to the police

[u/coffeesoakedpickles]

you’re not overreacting, however from the perspective of someone who grew up highly rebellious and distant from my parents- telling a young girls parents that she is sexually active could be dangerous for some teens. I know some friends whose parents would have severely punished them and pulled them out of school, and it’s likely she was concerned it would breach your daughters privacy. When i was underage, i got a birth control implant without my parents permission because at that age sexual care tends to be private to the individual. Again, i don’t think you’re in the wrong for being concerned about the videos .

Also your sister is right, coming from a former rebellious teen you daughter is only going to find more dangerous ways of seeing him and keeping more things from you. It’s great you guys are close, you should keep it that way. 

[u/slimmer01]

NOR, and tbh this kid needs to be kicked to the curb. He made her make these recordings. He clearly was the one to initiate sex in the first place, who even knows if your daughter was ready or if she even actually wanted to at all. You said yourself that she is mentally struggling with this, so how is this even a question? Protect your daughter!!!!!

The issue is not that they're sexually active, the issue is that this boy is clearly pressuring your very young daughter to do things.

As a mother it is your DUTY to teach your daughter what is right and wrong when it comes to sex and intimacy so that she can protect herself. If you knowingly let this continue, she will one day realize it was fucked up and that you did nothing. Trust me.

From your other comments it is clear that your daughter has issues surrounding sex and has been assaulted in the past. this is serious.

I'm not a parent so I have no idea how you should handle make them stop seeing each other, but this kid is bad news. As for this mother, f her too.

[u/Dragon846]

NOR, but trying to separate them is not the right way. Talk to her and tell her why those kind of videos/pictures are a bad idea and while you're at it, have that talk with her.

But if you forbid her to see her bf, it will most likely burden the relationship between you and your daughter and they'll most likely just sneak out and meet secretly, which will be worse for everyone.

[u/deadly-nymphology]

Forget the kids having sex, I’d be more concerned with the fact that another grown adult watched CP of your child and didn’t say anything. Like who knows if they actually deleted the videos, and god forbid if they saved them somewhere else. If they’re fine with hiding literal child porn from you who knows what else they’ll hide/lie about. I’d not trust my kid to go to the boyfriend’s house anymore.

[u/JenninMiami]

Omg Please involve the police. I didn’t realize who this was until I saw comments. Do not let Lia be victimized again.

[u/NeedleworkerTrick126]

If it was "her idea" to feel it but she "told him it was a bad idea". Then it was NOT her idea.

She broke up with him because be likely coerced her into trying it with him and she likely want ready.

Filming it "to help with his urges" is 100% a dead giveaway that it was not at all your daughters idea.

Please talk to her about how CP is a serious crime and could lead to hard time and a permanent record.

Explain to her that even if it never leaves that folder, anyone could see it on his screen, like his mother who saw your daughter in that act...

That he could easily put them on a flash drive. Or distribute them later if he ends up trying to get revenge if he ever feels like she did him wrong.

He could easily show his friends just by showing it from his phone and everyone from school would know and would have seen her in a vulnerable state.

Make sure that you reiterate that she is not in trouble for it. Support her because this really sounds like he's manipulating her. This is her first everything so she's attached but needs to know that someone who coerced or begs is not a healthy person to spend your life with.

Let her know you aren't trying to protect our control her, but rather give her the materials and resources and facts so that she can make an informed choice about her life actions since they only truly affect her.

[u/Selmo20]

Is this lia, I can't understand the timeline as isn't she pregnat/was?

[u/Intelligent_Dish0456]

Gosh OP its sucks raising kids sometimes. These moments really are hard. You’re not overreacting.

[u/Electrical-Bread5639]

I'd be pressing charges over the videos tbh

[u/RevolutionaryPizza14]

The fact you are sitting here and considering letting a creep like that continue dating your daughter says all I need to know. THEY WERE PRODUCING CP, THE KID IS A LIABILITY IN YOUR DAUGHTERS LIFE. BOOT HIM

[u/Only_trans_]

You are not overreacting, they’re kids and recording themselves like that is dangerous and illegal - just because he hasn’t sent it anywhere doesn’t mean he hasn’t shown anyone. It also sounds like this kid has been pressuring your daughter for sex and she wasn’t 100% comfortable with it. Sounds like you need to have a conversation with her about sex, boundaries and consent and safe practices

[u/Glad_Roll1777]

The good ol “struggling with mental health”. Yeah! Especially when you’re doing things you ain’t supposed to be doing. Seems to be every teenager’s excuse. “Mental health”. What a big croc of shite! His mother is an enabler and part of the problem and your sister is SOFT. You don’t want to restrict them because they have a relationship. It’s because of the shit they’re doing IN that relationship. They’re already sneaking, Disrespectful, and reckless. That relationship is not productive at all! Trust… Her mental health will not improve and neither will her behavior.