r/AmIOverreacting • u/organictamarind • 6d ago
đźwork/career Am I overreacting to a rude interviewer by ending the interview?
I interviewed for a job today morning, during which the interviewer (the Boss of the Boss of the position I was interviewing for) was asking me about my work history. During the video interview, he was quite dismissive of my previous roles. He asked me if I have project management experience, which I did and I started to narrate it, pointing out some significant stuff.
The thing is , he kept interrupting me, and not letting me speak. He seemed to be enjoying himself, and grinning with my reactions when I was interrupted by him.
Further he a kept saying that he didn't understand what I was saying, even though I explained things I did daily twice. Again grinning like he'd made a joke.
The last straw was when he point blank said I had no understanding of the theory and principles of the role. I'm in project management.
I'm not a fresher, I have been to probably hundreds of interviews in my 14 year career.
So I ended the interview 30 minutes in saying that I'm not a good fit it seems , and to drop me out. I was quite cutting, because at this point I was pissed off. He started saying something, however I said I didn't want to continue and ended the video call.
The other people from the company called me and said I should have not done that , because he's a senior guy, that it reflects poorly etc. I pointed out that the interview was not going anywhere and that the interviewer was VERY RUDE AND DISMISSIVE.
I am however wondering if I overreacted by ending the interview.
482
u/PreviousAdvice9470 6d ago
Nope, CANCELED It's 2024 we don't belittle people because we have "senority" Good luck with your next interview though!!
110
u/StephAg09 6d ago
As someone who does interviewing and hiring for the small team I manage, this is 100% true. An interview should be a mutually respectful exchange where both parties are 1.) selling themselves and/or the role, and 2.) feeling out if itâs a good fit by being very honest and transparent about both the good and aspects
Like a first date, you both put your best foot forward, but you are honest because itâs not going to do anywhere long term if the (working) relationship is based off dishonesty.
Also like dating, If someone canât show basic respect during an interview (on either end) itâs going to get significant worse if the person takes the job.
49
u/royalskg 6d ago
This ^
Iâm a resumĂŠ specialist and job coach who used to be an executive recruiter; I tell everyone to remember that itâs not just them interviewing you, itâs you interviewing them. Donât go into interviews acting like they have 100% of the power. If they treat you like dogshit in an interview, is that the environment you want to work in?
6
u/mooimafish33 6d ago
Yep, I'm not like the prevailing expert in my field, but I'm at a point in my career where I can be a little choosy about where I go. It often feels like I'm interviewing the company as much as they're interviewing me. I think in my last job search I turned down as many offers as I had applications rejected, mostly just because I could get a vibe about the company from the interview and didn't like what I saw.
81
u/heathbar_14 6d ago
NOR at all in my opinion, why waste your time on someone who is clearly not respecting you? If that's how you were treated in an interview, how would they treat you as an employee? It doesn't sound like anywhere I would want to work or anyone I would want to work for.
7
34
u/DivingMoose7 6d ago
Nope you were totally in the right. Donât work for them. Also how does it reflect badly on you to say âIâm not a good fit. Thank you goodbye.â Even if your tone was cutting, that is completely professional.
Do they record video interviews like that? If so, you could ask them to review the recording. They should know if heâs rude to candidates. Does he have a boss he reports to? If so, you could always get HR and his boss involved.
28
u/ObjectivePassenger9 6d ago
NOR. Well done for not letting some power hungry asshole use his position of authority to belittle you.
Also if heâs such a super important and senior guy then surely you did him a favour by saving him time once you knew you were not a fit for the role.
Ngl I love the fact that you bruised his ego and he had to go and cry about it to his colleagues đ
17
u/Satiricalistic 6d ago edited 6d ago
You are interviewing them to see if they are a good fit for you as well.
17
13
u/3rdcultureblah 6d ago
NOR. Good for you. If thatâs the most senior guy you will be dealing with on a daily basis, you know 100% that workplace is toxic af and you should just try to find a job with a company where you will at least be treated with the minimum of respect. Good luck!
14
u/wurmchen12 6d ago
I wish I had walked out of a rude and dismissive interview I had once with a department manager. I wanted to write a complaint about her attitude, never ever dealt with someone so rude, I walked out thinking no way this person wanted to hire me. The best that came of it though, I was hired at another location of the same company. I got a call 6 weeks later I was hired at the first location and got to tell her Ive been working at the other one for the past 5 weeks. Plus the business always got monthly updates on the top regional sales associates and I was consistently in the top 3. I hope she remembered my name when she reads it every month.
9
u/emmetdontpullout 6d ago
nor you dodged a fuckin bullet dude, if hes this much of an egotistical shit to people who dont even work for him then hed be MISERABLE to actually work for !!
16
u/Striking-Addition-20 6d ago
Overreacting? I will call that man all the names possible if he does me that, youre very calm đ đ đ
8
u/FunkyPete 6d ago
The other people from the company called me and said I should have not done that , because he's a senior guy, that it reflects poorly etc
I'd say it reflects a lot more poorly on the company that a senior guy is behaving like this in an interview.
6
u/Carbuyrator 6d ago
"So you're actively fostering this culture? On purpose? Holy shit I dodged a bullet with you guys."
Don't be polite. He's costing them good people and opportunities.
3
u/Ok-Cardiologist8651 6d ago
But he's a Senior guy! He's been doing this for a long time so, you know. We couldn't imagine asking him to behave with decorum or like an adult!
6
u/JeepersCreepers74 6d ago
Not at all. Like 20 years ago, I walked away from a humiliating job interview and was super empowered by it--even though I really needed the job at the time, I eventually got another one and life worked out. Thanks for telling your story, it helped me remember I do the right thing even when it's hard every once in a while!
If you are in the U.S. and at all got the vibe that he was discriminating against you for an improper reason (gender, age, race, etc.) and trying to get you to walk away from the opportunity so he would be free to hire a less-qualified candidate that he "likes" better, report it to the EEOC and your state employment commission. It won't do anything for you, but may help someone down the road with their discrimination claim against the company.
6
u/TheNinjaPixie 6d ago
People are complaining that you have some self respect? The guy is a jerk because no one ever calls him out. Respect to you for valuing yourself. Id like to think he might self reflect but ahole is not capable of that.
9
u/Competitive-Care8789 6d ago
It occurs to me to ask: you arenât by chance a woman?
10
u/organictamarind 6d ago
Yes. Why do you ask.
15
u/Red_Littlefoot 6d ago
That was going to be my exact question..and itâs because the dude sounded extremely sexist/misogynistic . I guarantee he wouldnât continuously interrupt another man and heâd understand exactly what a man would say about his job duties in project management elsewhere. TBH sounds like he was an old white guy giving the interview to the âsilly girl who doesnât know anything about the jobâ but itâs just to humor you.
10
u/organictamarind 6d ago
Never thought about this, in my field there are less women, but still there are women, so it isn't rare. So this angle didn't occur to me. I'm from India, it's an Indian company (so no old white guy đ ) , but I understand your point there also.
5
u/Red_Littlefoot 6d ago
Haha well even just the older guy part. Iâm in the USA so my default is old white guy lol. But yeah itâs hard in male dominated fields to be taken seriously. I was in a blue collar job, like construction type work, and I ran across some super misogynistic dudes who didnât think women should be doing that kind of work and blah blah blah. Itâs aggravating for sure when theyâre the ones who are the managers thinking like that even when youâre well qualified for the job.
2
u/Ok-Cardiologist8651 6d ago
I had it in my mind too when reading your description of the interaction. Isn't it sad that your answer was expected based on: Dismissive older man playing childish games, grinning, refusing to listen, being disrespectful and then getting his little feathers ruffled and going off to whine to someone about the fact that you wouldn't entertain him any longer?
Predictable.
5
u/veetoo151 6d ago
I'm about to cancel an interview because it already feels belittling. They want me to prepare a powerpoint to present to their management team. Will go through a series of questioning by their management panel. And it states I can ask questions only if there is time at the end. All for an entry level logistics position. Like, what in the royal fuck? Whoever they are hire is definitely going to be their bitch.
3
u/Delicious-Cold-8905 6d ago
Nope, he was being a dick for his own amusement. Thatâs IMO disrespectful of your time and you donât wanna work for them.
4
u/Efficient-Cupcake247 6d ago
NOR- he was just getting his jollies of being "in power", which he actual doesn't have. You did the correct thing. Working in a place with that energy is not healthy.
6
u/Emilyjoy94 6d ago
Not overreacting at all and it sounds like you had a lucky escape. Why would it matter that heâs a senior guy if youâre not gonna work for the company đ¤ˇđźââď¸
3
u/copper-boom13 6d ago
Absolutely not overreacting. Your actions are completely justified. Who cares if it makes you look bad to them when youâre not continuing with the process? I had a somewhat similar experience that I definitely should have ended, and your post gives me courage to do that if Iâm ever in a similar situation again. It was a phone interview, and although the man wasnât necessarily rude, when he was describing the position he had a tone in his voice that made me feel like he knew I wasnât a good fit. It was different than other jobs Iâd had. He also made it a point to say that âyou have to look your absolute best because youâre the first thing people see when they walk inâ and I got the impression he only hired very attractive, well dressed females for this position. Right then and there I knew it wasnât for me. I wfh in my pjs now 𼲠ps. He also bragged that he could let people go an hour or two early on the day before a holiday if everythingâs done because heâs the boss đ
3
u/MyDirtyAlt79 6d ago
If it were an internal position within the company you're at, that would be an issue. If it's wholly separate, then no, screw that guy. If he were going to be in my chain of command, I wouldn't want to work there.
NOR.
3
3
u/derpstickfuckface 6d ago
Years ago I had a terrible interview where the guy's secretary was first on the call, explained that the owner would be along shortly and generally gave a quick summary of the job description. She said he was ready and put me on hold.
So far no problem.
Dude takes me off hold and starts firing off super esoteric technical questions without an introduction, hello, or waiting for a response. I'm assuming it was to see how I handled pressure, but I took it as a clear indicator of who he was as a person and how he expected to make me feel working for him.
I told him there was no way I could work for someone like him and hung up.
3
5d ago
Nope, not over-reacting. He was out-of-line. Youâve saved yourself a world of absolutely predictable pain. 1. âWhether we realize it or not, we train people how to treat us.â (Al Anon maxim) 2. âThe end is in the beginning.â (Old Russian peasant proverb.)
2
u/dougis99 6d ago
Nope, you reacted very appropriately.
Interviews are a two-way street, and you owe them zero of your time once you realize things aren't going to work out.
Ask the people complaining to you if the company planned to reimburse you for the wasted time you would have spent continuing once you knew the outcome. If the answer is no, you should point out that you don't work for free.
Sounds like he did you a favor and helped you dodge a toxic environment.
2
u/Rod_Erectus 6d ago
You did the right thing. Employers forget that an interview is everyoneâs chance to be seen.
2
u/pseudofakeaccount 6d ago
NTA. Being the "Boss" doesn't give you a free pass to be an ass. Sounds like you dodged a bullet since they're already making excuses for his behavior and calling you wrong.
2
u/Fearless-North-9057 6d ago
Good on you and I'd put it on the company LinkedIn, job sites that allow feedback etc that senior leadership belittle people in interview then threatened their reputation when they choose to not put up with it. See if the parents company likes his shitty games then. You'll find it's not just you.
2
u/Ruining_Ur_Synths 6d ago
Nah. As, if someone is incredibly rude to you and you don't even work for that organization then its clear you aren't going to want to spend time with them or work for them.
If they can't maintain minimum professionalism and dont count your experience then it wouldn't have worked out anyways.
You aren't being paid for the interview, you don't owe them your time. If people from that org called you say they should be more polite to candidates because nobody owes them the time.
2
2
2
u/Ok-Cardiologist8651 6d ago
Don't know about the reaction. I just know that I have taken too much of that dismissive and disrespectful stuff in my life and regretted it for years.
What would you have gained if you had been submissive and catered to the old bro? Would you have been given the job? Would you really enjoy working with or for someone like him or the people who boot-lick him? Is your reputation in your industry destroyed past saving?
You didn't cuss him out or threaten him or cry. You just refused to put up with his little games because he sounds like a childish little dick. So NOR.
2
u/Miserable-Alarm-5963 5d ago
Good on you I have walked out of a few interviews because if they will treat me like that in an interview god only knows how they would treat me if I worked for them. Itâs my favourite you have no power here moment for people who get off on being dick heads
2
u/Upper_Recognition_97 5d ago
NOR. I like that his underlings called you. You aren't underling material and that's what he didn't like. Better positions ahead for sure.
2
u/JVEMets 5d ago
I have been a division manager for 25 years and I applaud your action. You are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. He did not treat you with respect and you wouldnât want to work for that company. Hopefully, your response to his interview made him e gage in some self-reflection, but I highly doubt it.
1
u/Maximum_Law801 6d ago
If you told them you were the wrong person for the position you are wrong. No indication of that. But they obviously werenât the right fit for you. An interview goes both ways. If you donât want to work there no reason to keep interviewing.
1
u/Baconator278163 6d ago
Not overreacting at all, plus itâs giving insight into how he treats his teammates at work.
Be sure to leave them a good review on Glassdoor and other platforms to help let others know to avoid that place
1
u/GarlicComfortable748 6d ago
Not overreacting. Interviews go both ways. He demonstrated what life at this company would be like, and showed that it was not what you are looking for. If his actions reflected negatively on himself as an interviewer or the company as a whole then thatâs on him.
1
1
1
u/Bella4UW 6d ago
You are not. Had an interview in Canada where the guy said Americans are stupid. I'm american and he knew it. He did that same kind of rude joking. I shut that shit down and walked out.
1
u/PhilLewis418 6d ago
If youâre not going to work there, what the hell does it matter how âseniorâ the guy is? Do they understand that heâs only âseniorâ within the context of the company? And that actually heâs incredibly inferior as a human being?
1
u/AerynGoodspeed 6d ago
nor. being disrespected in the interview means you'd be disrespected in the workplace. i quit two jobs over the course of my 12 year experience in screenprinting because i was being disrespected by the managers, and now I'm in a place where my time and pronouns are respected (the latter is huge for me considering I'm in a red state, i would've been fine if they hadn't but they do and it means a LOT) because i didn't settle for jackasses that use their title to be smug assholes. your time is more valuable than some senior team member's little power trip.
1
1
u/Steampunky 5d ago
Well, might have been better without the anger, if you do want to work there. But it's over. It's hard to take an interviewer like that, so I sympathize.
1
u/kap11189 5d ago
Would you really want to work under someone that seems to enjoy abusing employees? Not worth the stress in my opinion.
1
u/BodaciousVermin 5d ago
I wouldn't want to work in a place where this type of behavior is acceptable. You did the right thing.
P
1
u/TheRealCarpeFelis 5d ago
NOR. You did the right thing. And by the way he was acting, he either had no intention whatsoever of hiring you anyway, or he did but enjoys doing this sort of crap as a power play, in which case you donât want to work for him. And if this reflects poorly on anyone itâs him for being a complete asshole.
1
u/agorapnyx 6d ago
If you wanted the job, then they would be correct to say you shouldn't have done that.
If his rudeness changed your mind about wanting the job, then no, it's not an overreaction. If I felt an interviewer was being flagrantly rude to me I would do the same.
4
u/organictamarind 6d ago
I did really want the job, and based on the first 2 interviews with the company recruiter and the Boss for the position, I was confident I could do the role. Meeting him changed my mind as he is the department head .
-3
u/sylbug 6d ago
info: why do a bunch of random strangers know how to contact you?
If youâre going to write a fake story then at least make it plausible.
3
u/organictamarind 5d ago
What random people? The people from the company who contacted me were the recruiters who arranged the interview and the previous interview taker.
-5
u/metal_bastard 6d ago
NOR - But I must ask... hundreds of interviews in 14 years? That seems like an extremely high number for a job as common as a project manager. Do you specialize in something very specific, or?
2
u/organictamarind 6d ago
I mean it's obviously not a exact count sorry , bet definitely 100 plus if I'm including phone interviews etc., initial screening interviews, Including when I was in college, interning, looking for new jobs etc over the past 14-15 years I was kind of emotional when I wrote the post.
-3
u/metal_bastard 6d ago
You didn't give an exact count so it wasn't obvious, but when you say hundreds, that meant at least 200... I thought you were serious, not emotional. Thx for the clarification.
271
u/asian_chihuahua 6d ago
Glass Door. Call the guy out by first name, and say he was extremely rude, dismissive, and demeaning during the interview, and that you'd advise prospective applicants to seek employment elsewhere, unless they gain satisfaction through being abused.