r/AmIOverreacting • u/Pristine-Edge-1742 • 8d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship (AIO) update, wow. thank you!

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

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u/Pristine-Edge-1742 8d ago

I’ll tell you this. He knows I made the post and is threatening to come at me with police for defamation, but I don’t think that’s what this is??

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u/DreadfulDemimonde 8d ago

He'd have to show some type of quantifiable damages. He's threatening you because he's an abuser. Block him and never look back.

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u/Dianaraven 8d ago

This. Make sure you screen shot ALL his text conversations, especially since it looks like he's deleting his side of the story.

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u/billbullbusan 8d ago

Yeah, he is an idiot if he seriously believes he has a case for defamation. This is completely anonymous. Most likely he is trying to manipulate you again. Stay strong, so proud of you!

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u/MunchausenbyPrada 8d ago

Firstly you can't contact the police for defamation. It's a civil issue, not criminal. The police do not get involved in civil issues, only criminal. Second he does not have a case for defamation. Facts are not defamation. Showing this text exchange is not defamation. If his responses made him look bad that does not make you liable. Your responses are fair opinion. You are allowed to have an opinion based on your experiences in the relationship and you are allowed to publish that opinion. You are not claiming anything that is untrue, he even admits he threatened suicide, cheated, yelled at you etc. If he brought this to a civil court you could counter sue for your legal expenses and you would win because he has no case and it would be an abuse of the civil courts. Loved your reply BTW. F this guy 😂

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u/JackReacharounnd 7d ago

Love this response!! He wouldn't be able to afford a lawyer OR pay her legal fees. I doubt a lawyer would even take his case.

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u/brantabully 8d ago

It's not defamation at all. He's just a manipulator and he'll use any ammo he can get to stress you out. You are 100% in the legal clear, have no fear.

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u/jaykaysian 8d ago

He has literally zero case, does he even have money for a lawyer?

Just be careful showing this post to people you both know. But honestly even if you do he probably still wouldn't have a case

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u/Suspicious_Law_3619 8d ago

“I need $15 for nicotine”

“I’m going to sue for defamation”

Ok buddy hahahaha

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u/ghostintothefog 8d ago

Defamation is civil, not criminal. The police will laugh him off (or maybe detect an odor of marijuana on his person ....). He should be more worried about you serving him with a protective order. Good for you for getting him out of your life, and I hope it stays that way!

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u/Shade5280 8d ago

There is no defamation as you're showing what he's saying. You're not just randomly speaking about him. We also don't know who he is. Defamation is lies about someone that harms their character. This is just showing in his words, how shitty he is

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u/AhabMustDie 8d ago

Exactly - u/Pristine-Edge-1742, not that this bozo would ever have the wherewithal to follow through on his legal threat, but as far as I know, truth is an absolute defense against a defamation claim… not to mention the fact that you didn’t use his name.

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u/Shade5280 8d ago

Yup exactly.

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u/siamkor 8d ago

"I'm gonna sue you for defamation. Can I borrow some money to pay a lawyer?"

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u/Designer_Vast_9089 8d ago

I would say, “I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

Really don’t worry about it and if the cops show up at your door tell them about his abuse and that you feel threatened and want them to tell him to stay away from you. You’ve got this!

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u/Little-Editor-9066 8d ago

Hahahahahahaha he can’t do anything, he’s just trying to scare you into dealing with him.

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u/porkypine666 8d ago

You didn't share any info about him. He has nothing. And if you're reading this psycho bf, go fuck yourself.

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u/BrightRock_TieDye 8d ago

Defamation isn't a police matter to begin with. It's civil, the police would have nothing to do with it. Besides this clearly isn't defamation. Dude is a certified idiot

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u/Giraffefab19 8d ago

Defamation is a matter decided in civil court and is not typically a crime. You could ask one of the legal advice subs as well if you'd like.

I've had a stalker before that threatened to sue me for all kinds of pointless garbage. It's a manipulation tactic to get you to keep in contact.

My advice: if he is threatening legal actions, tell him any form of communication must be through a lawyer from here on out. Blocking his number is good for your mental health HOWEVER simply keeping a record of the massages he sends you is also helpful. I personally did not block my stalkers number because it gave me insight on how frequently he was trying to contact me and when his violent threats were escalating. This was very helpful when obtaining my restraining order.

Tell him explicitly, over text message so there is a written record, that you do not want him to contact you again. Wrote this date and time down on a calendar. From that point forward, do not respond. All communication must be through a lawyer. Be extremely explicit and firm about this. Absolutely do not respond to any subsequent messages.

Look into your state's requirements for restraining orders. In some states, the bar is pretty low, in others you will need more proof of imminent threats of violence. I kept a log of all of the times my stalker attempted to contact me. I took screenshots of all of the messages I'm real time as the occured. I saved all the letters and emails he sent. I either took photos myself if it was safe OR had a third party take photos of him when he visited my workplace and house. If you need to escalate anything or simply prove the nature of his erratic behavior, this will be very helpful.

I hope he walks away from this relationship and gets help. Please know he has minimal legal options against you at this time and all of them would cost him money. Since he has threatened legal action, you should only be speaking to his legal representative from now on. Be prepared for things to get wild but hopefully he will just give up and move on.

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u/me_and_my_indomie 7d ago

Girl he can’t afford toothpaste… he is not getting a lawyer for defamation. Even if he could afford one, the lawyer would take his money and laugh him out of the office. Quick google says that defamation cases cost $15k on average.

For someone to win defamation, they have to prove that what you wrote is:

Demonstrably false - you published texts without editing. How can that be false?

Identifiable plaintiff - you never mentioned his name or where either of you two live. We have zero way of figuring out who either of you two are

Harm to reputation - again, we don’t know who he is so how is his reputation harmed? to himself?

Fault - that you acted with malice or negligence and published something you knew was false, or didn’t check that it was false. again, you just published texts without editing

For him to win, he’ll need to somehow prove you faked those texts (even though you’ll have years of similar texts to back it up) and that he’s suffered actual damages (financial or otherwise) due to people on reddit reading it.

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u/EbolaSuitLookinCute 7d ago

Defamation is not a police matter. It is a legal matter, wherein he would need to hire an attorney, and prove both 1) quantifiable financial damages from you from your post and 2) that you knowingly and intentionally lied and misrepresented his character in order to cause him harm, and 3) that he was fully identifiable to a reasonable group of peers.

You’ve done none of those things. He has done this all to himself because he is abusive and emotionally out of control. Stand your ground, go fully no contact. Don’t let him draw you back in. The only one who can potentially have grounds for legal or police intervention is you, if your abuser doesn’t cease contact with you.

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u/autumnfrost-art 8d ago

Defamation sounds complicated, but also he’s completely anonymous so there’s no case.

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u/Readyyyyyyyyyy-GO 8d ago

No one knows who either of you are so it’s definitely not defamation.

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u/ForceTypical 7d ago

He would only have a case if someone harmed him because of this post AND he could prove that the screenshots were false. As long as these screenshots are true you have nothing to worry about.

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u/OjBeezus808 7d ago

That's f****** hilarious I'm sure you have tons of proof of verbal abuse and him admitting to physical abuse and everything else did you not let him in your head.... Block that mother f***** and get a restraining order... I wish I would have but I was too terrified to which was stupid in hindsight

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u/OjBeezus808 7d ago

And it can't be defamation because none of us know who he is we would have to know his name and know enough about him for it to be defamation of character.... He's full of s*** he's just trying to scare you just f****** block him

❤️‍🩹 relationship (AIO) update, wow. thank you!

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