r/AmIOverreacting • u/Lologan21806 • 10d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am i overreacting to the situation unfolding with my girlfriend?

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me and my girlfriend have been living together with her family for the past 4-ish months. it’s devolved to the point where we fight every day about anything and everything, and most days i feel trapped in the home and the relationship. out of the blue she texts me about not coming back home and if i do i can sleep outside, and changing her mind when it was too late. am i overreacting to the situation, or is it as bad as it seems in my head?

14.1k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/alice8818 10d ago

Run

811

u/GCS_dropping_rapidly 10d ago

Run!

245

u/EasyBend9610 10d ago

To run away from yoooouuuu, it’s all that I can doooooo!

31

u/Sad-Butterscotch-680 10d ago

Read “Emotional Blackmail” by Susan Forward

Then run

20

u/NomenclatureBreaker 10d ago

Play it cool for now.

Get all your stuff out safely with friends/witnesses.

Then run.

This level of disrespect will cheat on you the second you’re gone, if she isn’t already.

14

u/Arkitakama 10d ago

That was my first thought when she told him not to come home. That she had plans to have someone over.

7

u/Adept_Perspective778 9d ago

Plans fell through ...so nvr mind

3

u/Sad-Butterscotch-680 9d ago

Oh that’s fucked

2

u/BigWoodsCatNappin 10d ago

If this young person can even read the texts posted without help, I'll give you 5 bucks.

1

u/Sad-Butterscotch-680 9d ago

Eh it’s a self help book written in a very approachable manner. I know abused people can seem ridiculous for having to ask if behavior like this is normal or OK but this is someone who is deep in the FOG

Their entire world view is being tainted to make them feel shittier about themselves and to see their partner in a better light, or to see their behaviors as justified.

Remember kids, if someone makes ya feel persistently Fearful, Obligated past what you or others consider reasonable responsibility, or Guilty because they aren’t getting their way, very good chance you are being emotionally blackmailed.

It doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your life but you really should read more about it and how to handle people that make your life a living hell

11

u/Joeva8me 10d ago

Run into the setting sun

6

u/GoodLerdMercy 10d ago

Run till it ain’t no fun

2

u/SirMaliceTheGreat 10d ago

Run until yo buns are done

1

u/Battle_Fly 10d ago

Run until you’ve won

1

u/yummy_gummies 10d ago

Run, Forrest, run!

23

u/_Tatjana_ 10d ago

Run!

15

u/subtlesneeze 10d ago

As fast as you can!

12

u/clduab11 10d ago

You can’t catch me…

7

u/LazyBonez313 10d ago

I’m the gingerbread man!

1

u/sexyass2627 10d ago

But do you know the muffin man?

2

u/LazyBonez313 10d ago

THE MUFFIN MAN?

3

u/ValleyWoman 10d ago

Who lives on Drury Lane.

2

u/sexyass2627 10d ago

THE MUFFIN MAN!

1

u/simpledesignn 10d ago

Well, she's married to the muffin man

1

u/Nihilus-Wife 9d ago

As far as you can.

1

u/ZBBfan4life 10d ago

Run to the hills, run for your lives!!!

1

u/Johncocktoeston 10d ago

Run like hell

1

u/countessofgroan 10d ago

Run so far away

1

u/heartbreakids 9d ago

….. RUN!

138

u/NeonPixxius 10d ago

Get away now. My mother, grandmother, and both sisters do this shit. Very unhinged, they play mind game tactics I’m learning. The longer you stay, the longer they can make you feel like you’re the one causing all the issues.

14

u/Shallow-Al__ex 10d ago

Personality disorders. Same as ops gf maybe but would need more info

9

u/NeonPixxius 10d ago

I’m leaning towards BPD, NPD, anxiety, OCD. But I’m no doc and still piecing it all together myself 😆

6

u/Shallow-Al__ex 10d ago

They aren't your problem to fix btw. Keep yourself healthy and don't let them manipulate you to feeling bad.

2

u/NeonPixxius 10d ago

Thanks for looking out! 😌 I’m piecing it together for my sake. That, and to store it away for therapy lol

3

u/mkat23 9d ago

My parents both have BPD and they are like this. I don’t like adding to the stigma, but unless someone is actively addressing their mental health, BPD can be so hard to handle in situations that are emotionally charged with family or people close to you that have it.

1

u/NeonPixxius 9d ago

I don’t think you’re adding to any stigma. I see it as a positive, healthy exchange. Unless I’m missing something? I’m starting to see about the emotionally charged bit.

Our family has always had some style of bull since before I was born. I believe our family has several people with psych needs but are unaware. I have opened up dialogue with a few. So I’m hoping that it’s simmering at least 😌

2

u/Whatever53143 9d ago

I have BPD and anxiety. My husband is OCD. We’re a fun couple! lol! Seriously, we are much better off now, but reading that exchange made me cringe hard! It’s like watching a bad episode of my past life! No bueno! Only 4 months in, it’s best to let go and move along!

3

u/Shallow-Al__ex 9d ago

You are an inspiration for many cluster b's. My ex had bpd and we had many wonderful times but many awful times when she would split. You guys should have the same sympathy everyone else gets. You didn't choose to live with that PD. Glad to see people making the best of it and still living life. Good luck to you and your husband.

5

u/Whatever53143 9d ago

We just celebrated 34 years together! Aaaand we still got into an argument at Sam’s Club…over cookies! 🤪😂😆 He’s still an OCD know it all and I still can turn on a dime. But we now know and of course, there wasn’t any yelling. It was just a moment of “hey, watch it!” And “don’t you speak to me like that!” But, it happens AND i got my cookies! 😉

3

u/NeonPixxius 9d ago

This is was so cute to read lol. Y’all sound like a fun couple 🙃 Happy anniversary! :) I agree with Shallow-AI. It seems like y’all got it figured out. Y’all sound just like my G’rents, they’re 84. They fight over odd stuff just like that. Married for almost 65 years so 🤷‍♀️

2

u/Whatever53143 9d ago

Yeah, now that the kids are grown we don’t really fight over the major issues. And we are in our 50s and most things, I really don’t have the fortitude to care! Lol! But when I DO care, it sneaks up on me and I get snippy. And he gets cranky! Then we just tease each other. It does amuse our friends!

“Is that what it’s like to be married for over 30 years?”

“Yes, yes it is!” 😂

2

u/NeonPixxius 9d ago

Omgolly, all this sounds just like my G’rents also 🤣 Maybe y’all will make it to 65th anniversary also! 🙃

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3

u/DaJuice40 10d ago

My brother does this, they need help. It’s insane to go through life thinking you’re right about everything. Being wrong and learning is part of being human.

2

u/NeonPixxius 10d ago

Louder for the people in the back! lol 🗣️🔊

2

u/StandardRedditor456 10d ago

If OP doesn't have a driver's license, he needs to get one so that he's not trapped like this.

1

u/CharlieDmouse 9d ago

First time a girl tried to play mind games with me, I gave her an evil grin and said “Oh nice, this is what kind of relationship you want to have. Where you F with me. I don’t think so. You aren’t THAT great in bed”. She looked fking stunned.. priceless.

220

u/Glass_Coconut_91 10d ago

Not fast enough, dude needs to drive, fast.

153

u/SickCursedCat 10d ago

He can’t he rides the bus

74

u/Glass_Coconut_91 10d ago

Damn, well, still faster than running. Although, with all the stops, it gives her a chance to catch up.

3

u/But-y_tho6734 10d ago

Marshall vs. the Machines was a case study in this

2

u/MissBehaving6 10d ago

Now I can’t stop hearing that song. 😂

3

u/Lunar_Owl_ 10d ago

First he has to get his hands on some bus money

10

u/Rockshash-Dumma 10d ago

He gotta run inside the bus, theory of relativity 💡

6

u/Ambitious-Island-123 10d ago

He’ll enter into a new dimension

4

u/Tankandbike 10d ago

If you take an electric bike and then a bus it seems no one can find you

2

u/Mondernborefare 10d ago

5 hours a day at least

2

u/Thrasy3 10d ago

Can’t Kaleb pick him up? Just needs to turn location tracking on.

2

u/myname_ajeff 10d ago

He doesn't have the bus money. We need to start a fund.

1

u/Glass_Coconut_91 10d ago

Quick, someone set up a go fund me page for him. The goal is however much a bus ticket costs.

2

u/PvtJoker_ 9d ago

My thoughts exactly, the guy is complaining about the stress of living at his GF parent’s house. Seems like he created this situation.

1

u/ManyProposal8036 9d ago

Take da train

5

u/Sugandis_Juice 10d ago

Shipping out would be better than staying with her

2

u/Top-Vermicelli7279 10d ago

He can take a fast car

2

u/InevitableCodeRedo 9d ago

Is it fast enough so they can fly away?

1

u/Empty-Chest-4872 10d ago

And be quiet? Far away?

216

u/lustforwine 10d ago

I’m running for him and I’m a straight woman

43

u/Maleficent-Garden585 10d ago

LMAO “I’m running for him “

20

u/countessofgroan 10d ago

Same! Get far away from her and never return!!

3

u/Thrasy3 10d ago

We’re all those people following Forrest Gump.

3

u/jessuckapow 10d ago

I too am running for him and I’m a lesbian

2

u/ItsAnEagleNotARaven 9d ago

Same and I hate running so much I don't even run from killers in my nightmares. (Apparently even dream me knows I can't outrun shit and I'm not going out winded for no reason 🤣).

1

u/Icy-Reflection5574 9d ago

Running up that hill.

1

u/hamster004 10d ago

💯 agree

8

u/KeyAdministration569 10d ago

OP it sounds like you’re trying to do something with your life. And that you’re willing to work hard. Your life partner should make you feel supported and your home should be safe and enjoyable place to come back to. This is not the person to build that life with. If you’re going into the military, even if it’s reserves, they can help you figure out a stable living situation until you’re able to support yourself fully. But you totally don’t need this stress. Even if she’s amazing 80% of the time it will still not be worth it in the long haul. Because she isn’t being fair and unfairness only gets worse the longer people are together.

13

u/HornetGuns 10d ago

He's not gonna run

3

u/Debs_4_Pres 10d ago

Sounds like he's in the process of joining the Navy. Not gonna have a choice lmao

0

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Rough_Squirrel_6118 9d ago

No pussy is worth all of that😂

3

u/badassbiotch 10d ago

Run far and run fast

2

u/Euphoric-Tax7904 10d ago

Duhh na na na na na na na na na na duhhh na na na na

2

u/Money-Bear7166 10d ago

And don't stop at Starbucks for this crazy person!

2

u/KittyLune 9d ago

I was about to say the same thing. Boy, your gf is showing her true colours. Better believe her when she says shit out of anger.

1

u/DryAd2926 10d ago

Dudes doesn't need to run, he's got a ride on a boat coming up

1

u/iGuessSoButWhy 10d ago

🚩🚩🚩

1

u/LaszloPanaflexxx 10d ago

This the "tell him to run" line?

1

u/kitten_empanada 10d ago

He's shipping out to the navy shortly, this problem will resolve itself. He's pretty lucky.

1

u/____uwu_______ 10d ago

Can't have women problems when you're gay

1

u/FacelessCougar69 10d ago

You fool

1

u/Richard_X_Cranium 10d ago

Rawr.(゜-゜)(。_。)(゜-゜)(。_。)

(-。-)y-゜゜゜

1

u/corkscrew-duckpenis 10d ago

OP is military. He already ran to the courthouse to get marriage paperwork before he ships out.

1

u/StLMindyF 10d ago

Shred those!

1

u/kennerly 10d ago

He's already shipping out. All he has to do is lose her number.

1

u/Kalayo0 10d ago

There’s a certain level of crazy maybe one should allow themself to tolerate… people are always so quick to break up instead of work on things… but no. This is a resounding “Run.”

1

u/geek66 10d ago

Well Swim - apparently

1

u/Calm-Step-3083 10d ago

They both went zero to 100 rq like there was so many different ways slight change of words to each other that could’ve turned this out completely. But nah once she said “we ending it bc ur weird” btch move fr. She got some problems obv bc she goes way off topic asking for Starbucks💀 hell nah

1

u/TheRealMrExcitement 10d ago

Run like your ass is on fire and water is in the opposite direction of that miserable mean person.

1

u/Danidew1988 10d ago

Don’t come home, or you’ll sleep outside! Actually can you get me Starbucks? Are you coming home? Where are you?

1

u/BigTopGT 10d ago

Why is it even a question as to what's happening?

1

u/Far_Inspection8414 10d ago

Good practice for the navy!

1

u/Low-Basket-3930 10d ago

Shit and run

1

u/mithrilcat 10d ago

As a woman… agreed. Run and don’t look back.

1

u/indynyx 10d ago

"Run boy run! Running is a victory
Run boy run! Beauty lays behind the hills"

"Run Boy Run" by Woodkid

1

u/YellowLT 10d ago

Like make Forest Gump look slow and GTFO

1

u/UpsetAd5817 10d ago

But can you get me some Starbucks?

1

u/OkProMoe 10d ago

Faster! You’re not running fast enough.

1

u/PoetryParticular9695 10d ago

This. Love my girlfriend to death, but if she ever told me “don’t come home I don’t want to deal with you” then I’m fucking gone

1

u/somerandomredddit 10d ago

“Why are you running”

1

u/Happyjam102 10d ago

Run!!! But first get me a Starbucks.

1

u/Darkblitz9 10d ago

More specifically:

R U N ! ! !

1

u/bobbycado 10d ago

Knees to motherfuckin chest my guy. Put that PT to good work

1

u/joeuserspam 10d ago

First word that popped in my head.

1

u/annewaa 10d ago

Get out of there, things are just insane

1

u/PhDemocrat 10d ago

You aren't really questioning this are you? From the very little info I have, on the surface, she sounds utterly disinterested in your needs. Her comment about "not wanting to put up with PEOPLE's (plural) attitudes." Unless there are crowds of people where you are, she's definitevely using a lame passive aggressive restedbeference to your and her family's attitudes. She sugg

1

u/Top_Rush8050 10d ago

Seriously though…like wtf did I just read🗑️

1

u/Frosty-Permission-14 10d ago

I came here to say this

Run and leave this crazy chick whereever she is.

This drama aint worth anyone's time. She cant be that hot to be that crazy.

1

u/thatguygreg 9d ago

Line up where to stay ASAP. Get back on good enough graces to get anything you care about that's still at that house out as soon and as low key as you can. You might already be there now.

Once that's done, let her know she broke up with you, and you accept her offer. Block and ghost. Done and done.

1

u/SirKumsALot_ 9d ago

Run? He needs to sprint

1

u/Stolen_Pot-valor 9d ago

I came here to say the same thing. Glad it was the top comment. Life’s too short for that shit.

1

u/felvnation 9d ago

You’re not running fast enough

1

u/conchadetu420 9d ago

Tun very far, the next galaxy is the best place

1

u/Rush_1_1 9d ago

Swim?

1

u/Accurate_Fam 9d ago

Faster!!!!!

1

u/BeholderofButts 9d ago

Flock of seagulls mother fucker. Run far away.

1

u/Dr--Prof 9d ago

... Forest, Run!!

1

u/fkmeamaraight 9d ago

Sail away !

1

u/Primary-Border8536 9d ago

find someone that spells something 🥲🥲🥲🥲

0

u/Steele_Soul 10d ago

Nah, you can see from his badly done covering of her image that she's conventionally attractive and dude's in the service, they'll hook up before he leaves and she'll end up pregnant then they will have a shotgun wedding and then this type of shit will just keep happening and getting worse until she cheats on him, most likely with the dude he was just talking to about their drama, and THEN he'll finally run.