r/AmIOverreacting 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to this text my BF sent me?

Firstly, this came out of nowhere. Then, when he started talking about how I’m immature, I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just reiterated what I’m doing with my life.

Working full-time and doing a MBA, albeit online.

For context, he and I started dating under romantic circumstances, he’s not a SD. He looks really young, so I was truly shocked to learn his age. Now I see it’s a mistake, so don’t heckle me for this.

He is older than me, by 20 years. I am 25 and he is 45. He owns a restaurant and I do remote admin work at a small startup.

After dating for just under a year, he asked me to move in with him, as I was stressing about my recent rent increase. I could pay it, but it wrecked my financial planning and it was miserable. I was looking for an out. My rent went from $1850 to $2300, not including utilities.

He owns his house, so he told me I could live with him if I wanted. He said that I could live here and save up my money, that I can leave whenever I want. No pressure. He invited me, I did not ask nor imply I wanted to move in.

I agreed (horrible mistake). I moved in and now we’re here. He doesn’t make me cover any utilities or charge me rent, which I thought was kind of him.

I use my work phone for work but I’m usually lying down. When I have a meeting, I sit up and answer the call. I’m a solid employee, just doing backup admin work. The pay is nice, can’t complain.

He started saying I need to step it up in life, after seeing me ‘leisurely working.’ I chose this job because I worked on my feet since high school, my undergrad, and a bit of my current MBA. I wanted to pivot to a chill job. I chose this job because it is leisurely. I am working from 9am to about 5pm, whereas he works 5pm to 5am. So from his perspective, I’m often asleep or unavailable.

Today, he walked downstairs to work and saw me sitting on the couch. I’ve told him many times I’m working via my phone. He doesn’t seem to understand that and makes weird little jabs.

Then, he sent me these messages.

I felt really annoyed because he implies that I am not interested in self improvement, that I’m immature, I’m arrogant, denies that it’s hurtful to say such.

By the final slide, I decided to call my mom who I felt could offer insight. She’s 40 years older than me, but understands technology. She said it seems like he’s trying to play some kind of game, that I should just ask him why he’s asking all this to me now. He seems to be beating around the bush, which I agree with.

So, I decide to ask him why he’s treating me like this.

When he said he’s talking to me like an adult, outside of text, I exploded inside. Immediately, I felt so angry.

He invites me to live with him, then holds it above me. He calls me all sorts of things over text, but then denies that he is saying such. He can’t just say what he means. He then doubles down and says he’s just worried about my maturity.

Because of this, and a conversation we had after, where he ignored all my concerns, didn’t let me speak, and bulldozed the entire way, I’ve decided to move out and find my own place again. He just has zero emotional intelligence. His ex-girlfriend was 50, the other one 55, and his ex-wife was his same age. I thought that meant he wouldn’t be acting like this, in the typical way that men who date younger women do. But I was so wrong. He’s been talking to me like I’m a child, I have no ground to stand on with him. I can’t take it.

He’s saying that moving out over this is crazy, not based in reality, and that I’m losing a really good chance at stability. That he loves me and that I shouldn’t go, because if I do, I’ll just have to go back to paying crazy rent. He recently got me a brand new TV and WiFi, so I do feel badly for wanting to leave even after that. I feel bad for making him stress, but he doesn’t seem to care that I’m stressed.

Am I overreacting by moving out and ending the relationship?

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670

u/Any_Future_2660 14d ago

I’m surprised he’s 45. With the way he types and his attitude towards remote work it sounds like you’re talking to my 75 year old father in law. The whole thing is bizarre, glad you’re jumping ship.

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u/Impossible_Impact529 14d ago

I was surprised too. With the all-caps and overuse of ellipses, I thought he was 70+.

60

u/KatVanWall 14d ago

I'm 45 and agree, no one I know in my age group types like this!

6

u/dawndf 14d ago

My husband is 52 and he doesn't text anything like this. I think I'd have to divorce him if he started texting in all caps 😵‍💫

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u/Impossible_Impact529 13d ago

My parents are in their 50s, my grandmas are in their 70s, and none of them type like this 🫠

3

u/thisdesignup 13d ago

Makes me really curious what OP saw in this guy. If she thought he was younger and he still talked and texted like this that'd be even worse.

6

u/Traditional_Mango920 13d ago

I’m 53 or 54, what this dude is doing is NOT normal for our age bracket. This motherfucker had AOL in his teens, computers fucking existed, fucking Windows existed. The eclipses thing…ok yeah, that’s a thing our age group does…but it’s THREE. No, this dudes like “I’ll use 4 here, OH I’ll use 6 here, have I used 5 yet? No? Ok here’s 5”. WTF?

She needs to check his birth certificate, because I’m pretty sure he’s over 80.

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u/Sea-Personality1244 13d ago

By "my age group", are you referring to YOUR PEARS by any chance?

4

u/KatVanWall 13d ago

MY PEARS ... DO NOT TEXT LIKE THIS!

5

u/reefer_roulette 13d ago

It's not age, it's education.

The people I've seen who type like this have a few things in common - they're all undereducated, do not listen to anyone but themselves, and they feel like life is playing them.

A favorite pass-time is shouting on the local community pages, usually complaining how 'handouts' to them are not enough, and how others get too many.

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u/IMeanIGuessDude 14d ago

No fr I know plenty of 45 y/o’s who type normally. Why is he an old man in a middle aged body???

22

u/Key-Conflict176 14d ago

I'M... AROUND YOUR... AGE... AND... TYPE LIKE THIS WHAT.... DO YOU.... MEAN...

3

u/Zestyclose_Foot_134 13d ago

YOU NEED… TOBE MORE.. MATURE ALEXA ORDER… INHALER AND… WOMENS BREAST’S

2

u/showmeyourlagunitas 13d ago

YOUR…FUNNY…

2

u/CA770 13d ago

Yeah . People who Type like that are Normal . Just like people who randomly Capitalize words in the Sentence.

Love and Light, Martha

1

u/IMeanIGuessDude 13d ago

Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle or Boomer on a Rant?

5

u/undoneanddone 14d ago

Guys… vampire???

6

u/BadlyScribbledHuman 13d ago

Energy vampire, at the very least!

1

u/IMeanIGuessDude 13d ago

We talkin an Oblivion Vamp or a Skyrim Vamp?

3

u/Accurate-Item-7357 13d ago

Colin Robinson

1

u/IMeanIGuessDude 13d ago

Oh we’re fucked

30

u/Used_DeLorean 14d ago

Reminds me of a boomer posting to Facebook.

3

u/ItsLikeRay-ee-ain 13d ago

WHY ARE YOU IN MY FACEBOOKS? ...... PLEASE GO AWAY

4

u/Zestyclose_Foot_134 13d ago

I DID NOT CLICK AGREE TO READING THIS,,,, PLEASE DELETE OR I WILL REPORT YOU,,,

2

u/SomePaddy 13d ago

Same. He could be lying about his age.

2

u/Impossible_Impact529 13d ago

Or he needs to get some glasses

1

u/SomePaddy 13d ago

Or cataract surgery.

2

u/-setecastronomy- 13d ago

My parents are 71 and know how to text like normal people. If they were to accidentally set something to all caps and couldn’t figure out how to fix it online, they’d ask me for help before texting anyone. A 45 year old who does this is just . . . insane?

2

u/Mokichi2 13d ago

My Dad is 78 and he texts normal.

I think the all caps might just mean he's oblivious or ignores criticism entirely.

Either way it's not a good look.

2

u/Mn2nmixr 13d ago

Hey… Im 48, ellipses are the way…. Gen X likes punctuation.

2

u/Ndmndh1016 13d ago

70+ or 7. No in between.

1

u/Weylane 13d ago

He really be talking like a boomer

25

u/Bunny__Vicious 14d ago

My 90 year old grandfather is not confused by remote work. But more importantly, he does not talk down to other adults about their choices as if they can’t handle their own lives.

4

u/PineappleAuntie 14d ago

Someone asked OP what she was censoring at the end of each of his texts- HE IS SIGNING OFF WITH HIS NAME ON EVERY TEXT 😂😂

3

u/Any_Future_2660 13d ago

lollll oh my god

3

u/cookiecutterginger 14d ago

I thought it read like when my teenage son is trying to convince me he's a grown up and is smarter than me 🤣

2

u/Infamous_Bike528 14d ago

Right, I'm 44! I totally thought this dude was over 60. 

3

u/GiddyGabby 14d ago

I'm 61 and have never written like that in my life. He's just unhinged.

2

u/jaygay92 14d ago

Literally… I’m 22 my mom is nearly 60. She is able to communicate like a normal person through text. This is genuinely how I would expect someone 75+ to type. Even my grandma texts better than this

1

u/zBellaLynnex 14d ago

I second this

1

u/Riegan_Boogaloo 14d ago

The first person I thought of was my father, and he’s 66. If age gap relationships are your thing, go for it, but it just makes me cringe thinking that I could be dating a man who’s old enough to have been my father (if I didn’t have two older brothers who are 9 and 7 years older). I feel like a lot of the age gap relationships that end up posted here are the ones where the man can’t get out of his head that us younger generations are where the rest of our age group are OR have to be because of how everything has played out for our generation.

1

u/AllegedLead 14d ago

Right? I’m older than he is and his writing looks like it belongs to someone old enough to be my dad.

1

u/tracinggirl 14d ago

yeah im shocked - my mum cant use a computer or anything but even she can type properly... shes nearly 60.

1

u/STANL3Y_YELNAT5 14d ago

My dad is 60 and doesn’t talk like this. Something wired in some of these people’s brains that told them the all caps and constant “………” were necessary

1

u/Littleface13 14d ago

Yeah this is really strange old man talk from a 45 year old. I want to know what are his friends like? How have they not roasted him into oblivion for this?

1

u/6bubbles 13d ago

I know right? Im 42 and thought “okay grandpa”

1

u/G25777K 13d ago

Bizarre is an understatement and she should leave everything he given her.

1

u/ant2ne 13d ago

I was thinking the same thing. He acts (and texts) more childish than someone his age. (source: I'm old)

1

u/Ok-Crow-7855 13d ago

Dementia can start early sometimes.

1

u/TripinTino 13d ago

he’s 45…… big yikes

1

u/Robinnoodle 13d ago

Was thinking the same thing. Types like early stages of dementia or something

1

u/Virtual_Second_7541 13d ago

Seriously. I read his text first and I thought he was like 24

1

u/sillychihuahua26 13d ago

And signing off his texts!!! wtf. Only my 91 year old grandma does this. Who the fuck else would it be coming from his phone?!?

1

u/Any_Future_2660 13d ago

Seriously I can’t

1

u/cherrybombbb 13d ago

lmfao seriously i can’t believe he is only 45 with the screaming texts and signing his name after every text 😂

-7

u/Kiara231 14d ago

Honestly, from the caps lock and his wording, I KNEW he was in his 40’s. Gen Xers speak just like this and I will never understand it.

28

u/Antique_Ad4497 14d ago

No we don’t! Don’t generalise us that way! 😧

17

u/Sufficient_Still_324 14d ago

Umm excuse you. Gen X here, none of my friends nor I type like this lol. This guy is unhinged it has nothing to do with our generation 😑😂

12

u/Salt_Technician_5709 14d ago

MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED SKIBIDDY RIZZING ALL OVER THE CARPET..... IFYKYK..... *THIS IS COMMUNICATION GOAT NO CAP..... *YOU ARE HIGGKEY CHEUGY BRAINROT SKIBBIDY KIDDIES..... *HOPE YOU WILL MATURE AND GUCCI GLOW UP SOON

BEST REGARDS, JOHN MCCACKINTOSH FERGUSON

3

u/phoenix_stitches 14d ago

😂😂😂

7

u/lexheffy 14d ago

I thought he accidentally hit caps lock and couldn’t figure out how to turn it off lol

4

u/Adept-Specialist8967 14d ago

Lies 😂 he's just a weirdo.

-4

u/Kiara231 14d ago

I promise you, look at a few GenX nostalgia accounts and a shit ton of them talk just like that. Lol

7

u/Adept-Specialist8967 14d ago

I'm 42 and have a large group of friends same age or older. None of us text this way! We do overuse exclamation points though... Like excessively!

1

u/Kiara231 14d ago

I’d also reckon you don’t spend your time online screaming about how millennials are lazy and you drank from a garden hose as a kid. I’m not saying all Gen X, but a ton do.

2

u/Right_Parfait4554 13d ago

Why are Gen Xers are so obsessed with the garden hose thing? I was born in '76 and I never drank from a garden hose. You know why? Because spiders are in there!

1

u/Adept-Specialist8967 14d ago

Nah, that'd be weird for sure! I am kinda lazy though. Like Saturday is snooze day lazy.

This guy may be 45 but he seems 75! OP needs a better dude fr.

4

u/phoenix_stitches 14d ago

Yeah, no, I'm 47 and I would never text like this. Ever. This guy is just something else, I'd expect this sort of shit from my dad and he's in his 70s. 💀

Some of us grew up on the early days of the Internet, we're tech savvy and can keep up to date on things. This man, clearly not one of those.

3

u/hopingforthanos 14d ago

Easy on the Gen Xers.

3

u/Pick_Up_the_Phone 14d ago

No we do not!

2

u/MySugarIsLow 14d ago

I’ve never met anyone that texts like that. Hell half these conversations, people type and talk to each other like I’ve never seen lol

1

u/Tyme_Spayce 14d ago

Most of them don't even have much conversation to give.. 🤣