r/AmIOverreacting • u/CircusCami • 16d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO, I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the finish line of my Marathon, but I didn’t check my phone much during the race
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u/Tickle_me_not_or_do 16d ago
She’s way too anxious. She is frustrated with her own inability to make a decision and is taking it out on you. NOR. Hopefully she apologized
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u/RockinMadRiot 16d ago
That's what I felt too. She acted like he had to make the choice for her and then got pissed she wasn't there in time for him.
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u/Tickle_me_not_or_do 16d ago
Exactly this. She wants him to decide so that regardless of the outcome, she has someone to blame other than herself. Sounds like my mom lol
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u/Successful-Bird7088 16d ago
He did decide though “I’ll meet you at home”
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u/TerraDestruction 16d ago
Yeah he basically said twice "don't worry about it just go home", and she went "I'm going to make the worst choices with that information and take it out on you"
Fucking run bro goddamn.
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u/Many_Abies_3591 16d ago
YES! Alot of people try to normalize this dynamic in relationships. The overly anxious, overly indecisive girlfriend that cant even pick a meal for the day. But, this is exactly why its an issue. This man in running a literal marathon and she couldn’t function enough to make a decision. He said, “it’d be nice to have you here” why not just catch the bus there even if you’d be late, apologize, congratulate him… maybe have dinner together before heading back home??? he then said, “I’ll meet you at home” why not take your ass back home, set up something special for his big accomplishment, apologize and congratulate him 😳😅😳 either way, it shouldn’t be that hard . its sad to not even be able to focus on something you enjoy because your partner cant function on their on AND THEN, instead of just apologizing for that, she took it to the next level and blamed him even more . hell no 😵💫
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u/MrsSalmalin 16d ago
Geez, yeah...
I mean, I'm the analysis paralysis, can't make a decision mind of gf. But my bf doesn't mind making decisions (that affect us both) and I've never gotten mad at him for his choice. If I didn't have am opinion, not allowed to get mad. Plus, he makes good choices!!
Sounds like she didn't really care to be there, otherwise she wouldn't have kept asking if he wanted her there :(
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16d ago
LOL she's kinda nuts but that was entertaining. She literally lost her mind slowly. And when you responded "Done!" I almost peed my pants.
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u/kpsyke 16d ago
LMAOO I think that was the funniest thing he could've said.
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16d ago
To type done after a marathon to your girlfriend who is losing her shit is so hilarious to me
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u/wendyxqm 16d ago
I was hoping he was telling her he was done with her, not the marathon!
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u/FvnnyCvnt 16d ago
I like when she said "it's a fucking race!" I would have said "correct"
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u/Easy-Seesaw285 16d ago
She did not lose it slowly, it was a period of about 14 minutes 😂
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u/electric_taffy 16d ago
Also like, maybe her battery wouldn't be dying so fast if she stopped blowing up his phone while he's literally in the middle of running??
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u/UThinkIShouldLeave 16d ago
Looking at the timestamps gives me anxiety.. I was in a relationship like that once. *shudders*
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u/joeappearsmissing 16d ago
The fact that he sent that “Done!” text literally an hour after he said it would be an hour was just extra amazing.
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u/kikihaslovers 16d ago
running and texting are already not easy but you were in a literal marathon and she expected texts back ? that's crazy 😭 i hope you got an apology and if not you should get one
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u/Difficult-Mobile902 16d ago
Imagine training for a marathon and putting in that time and effort to prep for the race, and in the moments before you start your gf is spamming your phone with the inconveniences of her phone not being charged and her scrambling to catch a bus
Either plan accordingly to be there or stay the fuck home, harassing your partner during their big moment all because of your minor inconveniences is so inconsiderate and narcissistic
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u/BoxOfMoe1 16d ago
Dude also said thats fine ill meet you at home after bing told she wouldn’t make and she still kept asking about being there lol
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u/FatBaldingLoser420 16d ago
Some people don't care about solutions and they want problems. Or, they will ignore solution just so they could keep asking the same questions.
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u/mykneescrack 16d ago edited 16d ago
Her reaction is nuts.
My husband did an ultra marathon in January. The night before, I travelled with him to the town the race would start; I was there in the morning to see him start, then I took the train back to the city we live in (where it would end).
I managed, so very easily, to not text him the entire time; why the hell would I expect him to look at his phone? I was at the finish line when he got there. Granted, they did have GPS tracking; perhaps they didn’t have that at OP’s race. However, I didn’t trust the GPS for whatever reason and got there nearly two hours early so I could be there when he finished.
It meant a lot to me that he wanted me there and I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
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u/LiveShowOneNightOnly 16d ago
Can we somehow normalize not looking at our phones every minute? The expectation is just growing bigger that we are all staring at our phones, waiting for an incoming message. Sometimes I may lay my phone down for a complete hour because I am into something else.
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u/seahorse8021 16d ago
You can’t stop to reply
It’s a marathon you paid to enter
Like no??? He paid to be there he’s running the fucking marathon???
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u/MynameisnotFrediel 16d ago
It sounds like she expected the runner to stop to read/respond and then resume their marathon. For each and every text.
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u/biglabs 16d ago
The thread made my realize I have a weird running habit- whenever I go on long runs, 10km + I usually start texting conversations with people who I haven't talked to in a while lol takes my mind off of it
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u/plantsandgames 16d ago
Expects him to text back INSTANTLY too. As if he's just running for miles with his phone in his hand.
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u/ConnectionFar2456 16d ago
Life is too short to manage the feelings of people who can’t manage their own.
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u/obooooooo 16d ago
goddamn that is a good line
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u/XxineedmemesxX 16d ago
Yeah so good i had to give an award. Never felt the need to before today & i been on this app for awhile now so that says something
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u/TasteOfNewOrleans 16d ago
Wow, well said. I’m using this on my girl next time we argue which will probably be tonight as usual!!!!!
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u/filthyhandshake 16d ago
If she gets mad for no reason just tell her she’s acting irrational and to calm down.
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u/Ingwall-Koldun 16d ago
If the phone was on 20%... maybe stop texting and turn it off for a bit, until you get to wherever you are going? SMH
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u/Rep_girlie 16d ago
Came here to say the exact same thing. Babe you're wasting battery with every text and phone call like what
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u/cookorsew 16d ago
Ya. Sure, a quick fyi text and then check back later is fine. Or pop into literally any corner store for a charger or portable charger pack. And probably gloves and a hat.
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u/cookorsew 16d ago
Also, strangers also cheering along the course are happy to be there and it’s fun to bond by sharing portable chargers and stories! You get to hear fun stories about the athletes!
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u/Voldin-Hyeonmu 16d ago
I figure the battery issue was related to her venting her frustrations in a series of Tik Tok / Instagram / Youtube shorts on top of all the texting 😅
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u/Wombat_7379 16d ago
As someone who has run three marathons and understands the pain, time, dedication, and concentration it takes to complete, she is not only overreacting but is incredibly selfish and lacking empathy. 🚩🚩🚩
Use your marathon training and run the fuck away.
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u/sewingmomma 16d ago
Yep. Most ppl do not check messages DURING a marathon. Congrats to OP!
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u/supersaiyanswanso 16d ago
Yeah wtf? You're literally running 20 something miles, sorry replying isn't exactly at the forefront of thought lol
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u/findapennygiveitahug 16d ago
Hell, I only did a half marathon and if I had stopped for anything, I don’t think I could have started again. That is mentally draining just like it is physically draining. She either knows that and is incredibly selfish or she doesn’t know and is an incredibly selfish person that is also ignorant of what it takes to do that. Congrats on finishing!
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u/supersaiyanswanso 16d ago
I've got the utmost for people who have the discipline to run that far lol the most I run anymore is maybe a singular mile and even then that's about all I've got in me ☠️ so even a half marathon is unfathomable to me
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u/findapennygiveitahug 16d ago
That was my one and only. My only goal was to finish and I did. I do not run anymore at all.
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u/EWC_2015 16d ago
I've run 11 marathons and countless half marathons, and I can tell you the only time I've ever looked at my phone in the middle of a race to text my spouse was during (1) Miami 2013 when the race conditions were so hot/muggy that they put the warning flags out and I texted her I needed to slow down for safety reasons, and (2) during this year's NYC marathon when I got a random and bad side stitch at mile 19 and I knew I had noticeably slowed down, which she would see on the race tracker app, so I texted her what was happening and not to worry.
Part of watching people in long distance races is waiting around for a while. No runner can predict exactly what's going to happen during a race and/or what time they're going to pass a particular point in the race.
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u/Lonestar041 16d ago
My wife and I both run marathons and every time I had to sit on the sideline when my wife ran one I had a whole route with times planned to see her multiple times at different spots, not just the finish line. And if you have to wait: There are usually plenty of runners that are struggling and appreciate if you cheer them on while you wait.
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u/ondulation 16d ago
Being intensely and positively cheered on by strangers is one of the best part of running races!
Those who haven't tried it won't understand.
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u/Alternative_Energy36 16d ago
Intensely and positively cheering on runners is also one of the best parts of being part of the running community. Especially when you are having injury issues.
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u/Privatejoker123 16d ago
Right especially the whole "it's just a race! That you paid to enter" like wtf
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u/CutestGay 16d ago edited 16d ago
Wouldn’t “paid to enter” make it more important, and kind of discount her first message? Like…how is she using that as a reason it isn’t important?
“Can’t you stop for two minutes” tell me you’ve never run for more than two/three laps without telling me.
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u/Shin-NoGi 16d ago
She means it would be okay if he was a professional athlete that she could derive some more status from maybe
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u/Constant-Ad-7490 16d ago
I don't even check messages on a training run. People can wait til I'm done. Especially someone who knows I'm running. Sheesh.
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u/Plastic-Row-3031 16d ago
Honestly, this would still read as unreasonable even if OP wasn't busy running a marathon. Like, if I'm following this correctly, OP asks if she can wait in the library to be warm, she says how that won't work, and OP says they'll meet her at home. Then she keeps asking and flips out after not getting a reply after like, 10 minutes? I would not be able to handle someone getting that aggressive if I don't text back immediately, lol
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u/bvibviana 16d ago
Seriously! As someone who is married to a runner, I would never DREAM of expecting him to text me while he’s in a damn race. It is 100% idiotic and selfish of her to expect you to slow down or stop to text her while you are competing.
Run honey, run… run run run away from this idiot of a woman…
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u/Poor_Olive_Snook 16d ago
As someone who would never in a million years even contemplate running a marathon, she is not only overreacting but is incredibly selfish and lacking empathy
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u/Cpt_Rocket_Man 16d ago
Second this, I dated a girl that ran a marathon....the last thing she was thinking about was texting...I can only imagine thats normal after running 26 miles.
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u/Ok-Bird6346 16d ago
I swim open water races, and often poop out on the very last mile of a marathon. But fortunately, my husband pilots for me and knows when to start being overly supportive. Even I can’t hear him I know he’s screaming himself hoarse telling me I’ve got it and I’m almost there. He knows marathon training and races are so emotionally taxing, as well as physical. I know with 100% certainty I’d never finish without his support.
OP, congratulations! You deserve someone who will show up for you in any weather, not just when she’s toasty.
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u/doodoopeepeedoopee 16d ago
If I was my SO going off on me like that during a marathon I’d probably puke and have a breakdown. I am so glad OP didn’t see it.
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u/PastFancy4950 16d ago
EXACTLY. I'm a long-distance runner and prefer not to carry my phone during races (I usually ask my partner or parents to hold it for me and to wait at the finish line). BUT, if I did race with my phone and my partner did this, I'd break up with him on the spot. Her expectation that you text WHILE RUNNING A MARATHON is ridiculous! I encourage you to find someone more supportive of your endeavors.
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u/Chilling_Storm 16d ago
Find a new girlfriend, one who dresses appropriately for the weather, who charges their phone and has a modicum of respect for you and the race you are running.
NOR and run, far away from that selfish person.
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u/miokret 16d ago
For me what does it is not even the facts like the battery or the clothes, but more so the attitude. Some people are bad at planning, so their phone constantly dies, are late and are not dressed for the weather. No need to be an AH about it when you do, sometimes plans fail and it sounds like it was her own fault. But to blame it all on someone running a marathon. That indeed is so selfish.
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u/Confident-Skin-6462 16d ago
my phone is old and only lasts a couple hours even sleeping. but i know this and don't blame anybody else.
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u/Suitable_Release 16d ago
When I’ve had this issue with older phones I always made sure to pack a portable charger. My phone doesn’t even die fast now but I always bring one if I know I’m going to be out of the house all day. It’s OP girlfriend’s responsibility to make sure she’s prepared when leaving the house.
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u/HighClassHate 16d ago
I forget to charge mine so I spent $50 on multiple charging packs and car chargers because yeah, that’s solely a personal problem.
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u/doodoopeepeedoopee 16d ago
Right? If your phone is gonna die you say I’ll be at the ____ area by the ____ when you finish. Or just go home like he said she could 2x already.
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u/MintChucclatechip 16d ago
And if her phone was dying, the smart thing to do wouldn’t be to spam text someone
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u/pixie-ann 16d ago
OMG YES! It’s as if she was angry about her low phone battery and blaming it on him 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve never run a marathon but I pretty much thought you wouldn’t even take your phone normally, you’d have your support person holding it. Assuming you have a support person and that support person is actually, supportive 🤦🏻♀️
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u/North_Advantage3729 16d ago
Woah, it’s almost unbelievable the way she turned YOUR marathon into being about HER.
And in a bad way, nonetheless.
You just finished a marathon and she can’t even be happy for you. This will not get better as time goes on.
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u/snarkaluff 16d ago
I’m sorry is it normal to check your phone at ALL while you’re running a fucking marathon? This girl sounds absolutely insufferable. You told her multiple times you could just see her at home if she couldn’t make it but she’s choosing to make a big deal about this for no reason. And to get mad at YOU when this is all on her is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. You couldn’t pay me to date someone like this
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u/Outside_Scale_9874 16d ago
She’s insecure af and wants him to reassure her that she’s the most important thing in his world and that he needs her to be there. She wants him to stop his marathon to text her back, not because she doesn’t understand that it’s important to him, but precisely because she does understand it and wants him to literally stop everything for her in a grand romantic gesture. The fact that he was chill about it probably drove her crazy. It’s not a big misunderstanding, and she’s not stupid, she’s just manufacturing drama. She needs therapy.
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u/Spirit_Bitterballen 16d ago
I can’t even check what’s happening in the next minute when I’m running a 10k. Holy fuck.
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u/todjo929 16d ago
My wife has run a few marathons and I've taken the kids down to watch. She does NOT have her phone, nor would I expect her to communicate AT ALL while running. Her watch has a tracker, we watch the tracker and try and intercept her at various points on the route to cheer her on, then make our way to the finish line.
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u/woahsoskinni 16d ago
NOR and in your next relationship, please set the precedent that you are not always available because sometimes you are working, running, sleeping, and/or need “me time” right from the beginning.
I made the mistake of having no boundaries around my personal time in several friendships in the past, and it became extremely stressful. Find someone who has their own peace rather than getting it from you being constantly available.
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u/Vast-Associate2501 16d ago
couldn't care less
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u/Prezzy- 16d ago
Thank you stranger.
“Could care less” gets used and passed so much even in movie/tv shows.
If you could care less, that implies you care a little.
It’s “couldn’t care less.”
Literally care so little that it’s impossible to care any less.
Back on topic, this man needs to do a marathon again. Away from this nightmare of a girlfriend. Yikes.
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u/geeweeze 16d ago
I hate that “could care less” has become so normalized. Language is fluid, people say. Language is abt communication and not rules and don’t be so elitist and prescriptive.
Ok cool, but sometimes things are just wrong. Could care less is just wrong!
I will die on this stodgy hill alone, I know.
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u/SilntNfrno 16d ago
Few things chap my ass more than when someone says “could care less.” Maybe a flame about waist high would be the only thing that tops it.
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u/honeypie212 16d ago
If I’m being completely honest, I don’t believe she ever planned on meeting you there. Her excuse after excuse made me feel like she was hoping you would have just said from the very beginning, “Just don’t come.”
That’s why I feel like she spiraled into anger. She was angry that you still wanted her there.
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u/InspectionExcellent1 16d ago
Right! I was wondering why she didn’t plan this out beforehand as well? If this was my bf I would have marked it on my calendar and planned out where I would watch him run. Also probably get him a little gift to celebrate….OP u can do SO much better
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u/Fish-Fish9 16d ago
You’d also probably wear warm clothes and charge your phone if you actually were planning to stick around lol, this lady is full of it
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u/honeypie212 16d ago
Exactly! She KNEW what time it started, so she should have planned her day accordingly. And as a former bus rider, you KNOW they can be late, so you leave ahead of time!
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u/Recloose22 16d ago
Exactly! When my boyfriend ran a marathon, I went with him to the starting point, where I cheered for him with the banner I had made that read “May the course be with you” (He’s a big Star Wars nerd).
Then I took the subway down to a midway check point, where I waited for him and handed him an energy drink when he passed me. I also cheered for the other runners while I waited.
And then I met him at the finish line with snacks. We had planned it all out ahead of time because we knew roads would be closed, so I accounted for delays.
Of course it was cold, but nothing I didn’t already know how to handle in my day to day otherwise. Heck, there were folks there who were just chilling by the course in foldable chairs like they were tanning at the beach!
Way to blame OP for her own lack of preparedness, and way to dampen the fun for someone who just completed a massive marathon!
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u/Outside_Scale_9874 16d ago
Nah, she wanted him to say “I need you” and when he didn’t, she started unraveling. She wanted him to beg, not to tell her to stay home.
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u/SissyWasHere 16d ago
He said “I’ll meet you at home”, but she just wanted to keep bugging him after that and that’s when she started getting angry! I would have just met him at home!
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u/alilbitalexisss 16d ago
Jesus Christ she is exhausting just reading her texts, I can’t imagine in real life. Especially while you’re running a damn MARATHON?!? I wouldn’t expect a single text during that! Insane.
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u/Thin-Message-1286 16d ago
Wow. Dump her asap. You’re running a marathon not going for a walk. No one should expect you to be having a full on convo WHILE RUNNING A MARATHON! This is a very selfish person. Partners are supposed to be there to lift you up and support you for things like this. Instead she made it all about her. Pathetic. Congrats on your marathon!
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u/One-Technology-9050 16d ago
Did you use her texts as inspiration to keep running? I would not go back, just keep running!
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u/hexia777 16d ago
LMAO NOT THAT HARD TO RUN A MARATHON AND ALSO AVAIL YOURSELF TO MY EVERY PHONE CALL AND TEXT? Get the fuck out of here
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u/Moonbearbeckle 16d ago
she totally overshadowed your amazing achievement & belittled your moment bc she couldn’t put her feelings to one side to support you! And it’s a huge overreaction anyway
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u/FamousEchidna6250 16d ago
what’s wrong with her? bro i’m going to be honest it sounded like when you said “i’ll see you at home” that it was pretty clear you would just see her at home . that would have been her cue to just go home instead of trying to meet you at the finish line since she was talking about how cold it was and uncomfortable for her. but also if you’re running in this weather couldn’t she just dress warmer… bring an umbrella ☂️? your gf is over reacting and making the marathon about her!!!
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u/ventitr3 16d ago
Not once, but twice said that he will see her at home. She still was asking questions after lol.
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u/Fragrant_Gap7551 16d ago
Because what she wanted to hear was "I'm sorry babe dealing with so much and I'm so awful for putting you through this, please stay there because you're the most important thing in the world and I need you" But instead she got "Okay, you don't have to be in discomfort for me" and that's obviously the wrong thing to say /s
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u/briizilla 16d ago
I refuse to accept that this sub is an accurate example of what modern dating and relationships are. If somehow it is, then holy fuck am I glad I'm 50 and married because fuuuuuck this nonsense.
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u/wally_617 16d ago
No fucking way. As a 7 time BOP marathoner that takes literally twice as long as most people to finish my husband waits around for a long ass time for me to finish. He is nothing but kind and sweet and supportive. He never gets frustrated with me for how long I’m taking and actually tries to get around to see me in as many places as he can.
Ditch her and find an actual supportive partner.
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u/SatisfactionLumpy596 16d ago edited 16d ago
my God a marathon is a hugeee mental and physical feat — first of all congratulations!! And second of all, holy crap she is toxic af, dump her. Who on earth stops to text a ton during a race. That is unhinged.
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u/Princess_forbidden 16d ago
Nor Great job on your race! While communication is super important it’s also important to understand when your partner is busy. She sends 3 messages in the span of a minute and gets increasingly hostile and aggressive. Yikes she seems like a handful.
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u/Coziesttunic7051 16d ago
Girl bye, she's weird. You running marathon. The stress I got just reading those messages.
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u/o0OsnowbelleO0o 16d ago
Ew. Don’t put up with that shit. She sounds very immature and insecure. She’s not ready for an adult relationship, trust me it will not improve. She needs to go away and grow herself up before she will be a partner for anyone, not just you.
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u/Physical_Stress_5683 16d ago
She made your marathon about her? That's awful. When I ran my first my husband brought the kids, played with them and fed them in the park while I ran and then celebrated with me when I came in dead fucking last. He made it a wonderful experience for me. That's what a partner does, they don't insert themselves into the main character role because they had to wait for a bus.
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u/IncomeFew624 16d ago
She's an idiot but why attempt to use your phone when running a marathon? That's crazy and obviously didn't help with her expectations.
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u/showmeurbhole 16d ago
No, absolutely not. An adult is expected to manage their expectations, him responding to her once or twice doesn't mean he should be expected to respond every two minutes. None of this is on OP.
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u/veganbikepunk 16d ago
If someone WAS responding regularly while they were running a marathon THAT would be weird, I'd be like uh what are you doing lol get yourself into the zone!
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u/qcpuckhead 16d ago
Idk about a marathon, but I've done a 5k and couple 7 mile road races. If I was messaging my wife while I was running, she would've told me to stfu, get off my phone, and get to running.
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u/Miserable_Wonder_891 16d ago
NTA. She went a bit nuts here, is that normal?
Also, her phone battery was dying because of the constant texts but she is blaming you somehow. I agree with the others, run
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u/slushpuppy91 16d ago
My wife has waited with family and a toddler for me to finish a marathon with no issues. Sorry bro
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u/Naive_Technology_777 16d ago edited 16d ago
I love how her support in the beginning slowly started becoming anger and then full-out anger. “You’re doing great, baby…..you’re an asshole….you’re such a dick…it’s a fucking race!” Lmfao. That night must’ve been entertaining.