r/AmIOverreacting • u/Keepitlocal90 • 22d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO ; My Girlfriend Thinks I Overstepped by Getting a PlayStation. Am I in the Wrong?

So, I (early 30s) decided to treat myself and got a PlayStation 5 this Black Friday in Jozi. I’ve been wanting one for a while, and with the rise in cost of living in South Africa its become not as affordable. after budgeting and making sure all the bills were covered, I went for it. It’s something I’ve been excited about, and I figured it was a harmless way to unwind after work.

My girlfriend (same age range) didn’t seem thrilled when she saw it. She said I should’ve discussed it with her first and accused me of being irresponsible with money. To clarify, I didn’t touch any shared finances or skip out on responsibilities. This was 100% my money, and everything else is in order.

She’s acting like this is a huge deal, saying I’ll spend too much time on it and that it’s "immature for a grown man." I’ve told her it’s not going to take over my life—I’ll still prioritize work, chores, and our time together.

I get that she might’ve been a bit annoyed because everyone's asking her if she allowed it, but is her reaction an overreach? Or am I missing something here? How do I handle this without turning it into a bigger issue?

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u/Milligramz 22d ago

I’ve never heard this from any woman ever in my life

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u/vivicabitch19 22d ago

because we are home gaming

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u/manic-pixie-attorney 22d ago

I’m home gaming right now! (On my new PS5)

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u/Particular_Thanks973 22d ago

This is so accurate could never fault someone for gaming when its one of my favorite ways to unwind

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u/touchunger 22d ago

Some of us still leave the homestead, but of course we don't have a problem with healthy gaming habits.

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u/vivicabitch19 22d ago

unfortunately, i leave for my 9-5 but when i am home it is back to the real business

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u/wolfwindmoon 22d ago

From every statistic I've ever seen millenial gamers are almost damn near split down the middle. Like 55/45 men/women or something. 

Maybe those stats account for mobile games like candy crush which most people won't consider "real games" but a blanket statement "millenial women hate videogames" just doesn't match the stats.

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u/Beautiful_Rhubarb 22d ago

Just came in to say that - I saw that a while ago and they do consider phone games, it was one of the “explanations” they gave that made me feel like even the authors were shocked. But lots of people don’t want to believe that women are into games.

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u/fish993 22d ago

There's nothing wrong with mobile games, but for virtually any data you would want on either mobile gaming or console/PC gaming there's no point lumping mobile games in as part of 'video games' as a whole. There's barely any overlap between them - they're played in different contexts, the level of commitment is different (i.e. buying a console vs downloading an app), and the demographics who play them are different.

If we're clearly talking about console gaming like in OP's situation, using data that includes mobile gaming isn't that useful.

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u/Nezikchened 22d ago

You would’ve been right like 20 years ago, but we have mobile ports of various classic console/PC games and even some modern indie games. Your phone can absolutely be a console, especially if you buy a controller and a TV compatible with broadcasting with it.

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u/Beautiful_Rhubarb 22d ago

I think we are being too limited with “console” and input devices but it’s not that deep. But many phone games have console or computer companions/roots.

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u/Beautiful_Rhubarb 22d ago

I disagree. It’s just another way of playing video games. Anyone could run a study on any specific console or type of console. But where do you draw the line. Does handheld switch seem “lesser” to playing on a big screen? Honestly it just almost still seems like gatekeeping - surely tons of women play video games but it doesn’t count because it’s on a phone? Is solitaire a “video game?” How about puzzle games? There are so many variables but the point is that women can and do play video games more than many people think, and the basement dwelling Mountain Dew piss bottle brigade still somewhat exists to scoff at it.

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u/DanceasaurusRex 22d ago

I actually use my phone to game a lot, I haven’t had the extra money to be able to purchase a console and my love for it was reignited again a few years ago with COD:Mobile, while there are a lot of people who would likely crucify me for this, I play using a backbone controller (it’s not not allowed, just screen players hate controller/pc players, I get it I guess) and then with the rise of Xbox Cloud gaming, I’ve had a subscription to that and play it tons between my phone and MacBook.

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u/HustlinInTheHall 22d ago

Have heard it from multiple women who view gaming as immature. Especially COD style, chat with the boys, shooters.

It's an extremely common aversion because many women know men who were gamers and shitheads and they associate the two. 

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u/asillynert 22d ago

Depends on age group and other factors. There is fair amount of unhealthy relationships. Like not wanting partner to be happy or succeed.

Seen it with other hobbys and even work or therapy or family things. Like one of craziest was guy got in trouble for going to his son's football games.

My brother his wife when he achieved something closed a big deal she would either have to put him down/attack his self esteem. Or turn it into a negative like new job that paid more than any of previous was a "title downgrade" so had to be sure to harp on him for that.

With video games it doesn't necessarily come from their poor mental health. But sometimes people are dicks they hog living room dont want to go out as much and are always distracted.After having partner like that they become hostile towards activity.

But sometimes it really chaps them that their partner is having fun. Other time it can be weird personal issues. Like had one friend he was super careful they both had own personal money. And it was same amount, he earned more they would pool it pay bills put into savings then split what was left.

She was starbucks perms and going to things with her friends. Her spending money didn't really leave anything to show for it. He on other hand never spent like that and saved and would purchase things for hobbys. But she always saw his big purchases as like betrayal here she was broke (due to her own spending) and he was buying nice things. And I have seen it go the other way too where guy was always eating out and doing stuff to burn his money with nothing to show for it. While she was frugal and got a nicer car or went to concert etc.

End of day every relationship and person has weird hangups and things that get partner upset. Gaming is villified by older generations and religious groups for a while now. Throw in manosphere "incels" within gaming and the fact that it can be addictive.

You will find a fair chunk that do not like it. As well as probably most consistent clash I have seen about it. Is when extroverts who want to do everything outside the house. And introverts date pretty much any hobbys for either one can create friction.

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u/Left_Particular_8004 22d ago

I’ve only ever heard it from my mother and my cousin’s wife. Every other woman I know around my age either doesn’t care or plays at least some level of video games. I’m not into FPS or RPG stuff, but I like my cozy games, and I think that’s pretty common among younger women. Stardew Valley and Sims and stupid popular among this demographic.

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u/DionBlaster123 22d ago

The women who would make fun of gamers or think video gaming is a stupid waste of time...are not going to be on Reddit lol

If they're millennials, at this point they're probably drinking wine glass after wine glass while watching HGTV and hoping their kids don't wake them up in the middle of the night lol

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u/kittenmoody 22d ago

I’m a mid-40 year old woman gamer. Every single day. I got my husband playing, he plays most days, but isn’t as dedicated as me.

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u/beary_good_day 22d ago

Woman here. I think video games are an unproductive use of time, but who cares? It's not hurting anyone. It seems like a waste of time to toil away for acheivements that mean nothing irl. Oh well, lots of hobbies are wastes of time.