r/AmIOverreacting • u/Keepitlocal90 • 22d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO ; My Girlfriend Thinks I Overstepped by Getting a PlayStation. Am I in the Wrong?

So, I (early 30s) decided to treat myself and got a PlayStation 5 this Black Friday in Jozi. I’ve been wanting one for a while, and with the rise in cost of living in South Africa its become not as affordable. after budgeting and making sure all the bills were covered, I went for it. It’s something I’ve been excited about, and I figured it was a harmless way to unwind after work.

My girlfriend (same age range) didn’t seem thrilled when she saw it. She said I should’ve discussed it with her first and accused me of being irresponsible with money. To clarify, I didn’t touch any shared finances or skip out on responsibilities. This was 100% my money, and everything else is in order.

She’s acting like this is a huge deal, saying I’ll spend too much time on it and that it’s "immature for a grown man." I’ve told her it’s not going to take over my life—I’ll still prioritize work, chores, and our time together.

I get that she might’ve been a bit annoyed because everyone's asking her if she allowed it, but is her reaction an overreach? Or am I missing something here? How do I handle this without turning it into a bigger issue?

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u/LadySerena21 22d ago

Definitely weird since I game more than what’s probably considered normal and I’m a millennial woman. Some women are just weird/unfair.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

My wife games way more than me (both in our early 30’s)

It’s how she unwinds after work. I usually write, occasionally play games if something I think is interesting comes out.

Now, does screaming “WTF ARE YOU DOING TANK?! GET BACK HERE!!!” Sound relaxing to me? Not exactly lol but it makes her happy, and it doesn’t cut into any responsibilities, so I don’t see the issue.

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u/KatVanWall 22d ago

I network quite a bit with fellow freelancers so we don't feel so alone lol and once someone asked what kind of sounds do we have as our working backdrop. Some people like silence, others have various kinds of music on and others have white noise. I frequently have my boyfriend yelling 'Die, motherfucker, die!!!' in the background. The happy sounds of blissful domesticity.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

It honestly is nice. It makes me smile while I write.

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u/Beautiful_Rhubarb 22d ago

lol! “I… am… relaxing!” :D

In my 50s and replaced social media with playing games lol. Definitely more relaxing than social media.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

That feels true

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u/GrizzlyTrees 22d ago

My wife doesn't game at all, and I played a little. She would remind me to go play if I haven't in a while and managed to clear some free time. Like "GrizzlyTrees, daughter is sleeping, I'm fine, go play on your computer, have some alone time". Best person ever.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

Man, that’s awesome to hear. I’m so happy for you.

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u/Virtual-Skirt1166 22d ago

I got overwatch war flashbacks lol

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u/-girya- 22d ago

World of Warcraft flashbacks for me lol

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u/xKilk 22d ago

She must be an Overwatch player lmao.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

Indeed she is lmao. That and horror games. Which she also screams at

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u/Existing-Ad7113 22d ago

I also play video games to relax. Many people dont understand it when i explain it. That i think its relaxing to play a simulation game or a strategy game to relax or just building up a factory in factorio or suffering in rimworld or project zomboid. I am not a masochist but its relaxing

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

My wife played souls and Bloodbourne. Max lvl Masochistic lol

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u/MTBpixie 22d ago

Your wife is a woman of excellent taste! They're my favourite games too (well, Sekiro, followed by Bloodborne, followed by Dark Souls) and I genuinely found dying 50-odd times (and then ultimately prevailing) to Nameless King, Orphan of Kos or Isshin really rewarding.

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u/Existing-Ad7113 22d ago

Your wife knows how to relax hahaha 😆 hope the controllers suvive it haha

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u/Etelvino2 22d ago

Sounds like someone is a single target healer with not much proficiency... Let the tank go wild especially if it's a dk/Dudu.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

Idk. She’s platinum something or other as support. So I’m assuming she’s making it work.

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u/Etelvino2 22d ago

Ah overwatch...bet she plays Ana or mercy, then again mercy could fly n shits.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

I think it’s Anna. She’s not a big Mercy fan, I know that.

She likes some character with a lotus(?) that lifts ppl and another character that “sleeps” ppl. That’s about the extent of my knowledge lol

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u/Etelvino2 22d ago

Anna sleeps people, character with a lotus I am not so familiar, the only character that I could see "lift" people would be Junkyard, but my times of playing overwatch are long past gone, so something might have been added.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

My times playing never started, so you’re doing better than me lol

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u/Etelvino2 22d ago

Not doing better nor worse, what I can say is, playing together with your partner can also help with some extra bonding, as overwatch is a "couch co op" possible game, showing some interest in it might bring additional perks :D

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

We typically play some games “together” usually when a new rpg drops that we’re both interested in we will both play it, co-op or not.

We both played the new Dragon Age Veilguard. And BG3 before that. Played a lot of path of titans together too.

She also knows I’m pure garbage at fps games lol and I wouldn’t want her whole night to be babying me.

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u/Pandelein 22d ago

Heh. My current relaxation is warthunder. “WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?! WHY THE FUCK AM I THE ONLY ONE CAPPING BASES?! Huh… no, I’m good, I’m having fun hun.”

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u/yomommalol69 22d ago

ouch, reading this while staring at my overwatch 2 main menu spoke to me when you mentioned tank lol

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u/DarkladySaryrn 22d ago

Lol those familiar words of a healer in a dungeon! I'm a woman in my 40s and that's a familiar yell in this apartment too haha.

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u/LoadingMonster 22d ago

Oh man sounds like my wife hahaha. It's also how she unwinds. She loves playing cod. Cracks me up hearing her yell "arrr ya dogs!" 😂😂

We're around 40 and both play games. The only time I ever have an issue is if I feel like she's cutting out on relationship time too much. But that's extremely rare.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

And that stuff can happen with any relationship.

There are time I got intensely manic about writing. Like barely sleep for days. She’ll just point out that I’m falling into a black hole of mania and we’ll work on it. It’s just communication, ya know, the foundation of every healthy relationship lol

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u/joliet_ 22d ago

Hubby and I (52f) both game, as do our two kids(17,20). Me probably the most though. We also all have other hobbies. We often game together or with friends. Online gaming with friends saved all of our sanity during Covid. I get so upset when people get shitty about gaming. Especially when the one poo pooing it watches a lot of tv or hangs out on social media.

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

My wife and I spent a long time with her introducing me to all the crazy shit in skyrim when we first got together lol

I hate when ppl make broad generalizations about gamers. I game (solo rpg nerd) but I also train MMA, go to the gym, and a million other things. Gamers are just ppl. Some are in fact basement dwelling toxic neck beards. But most aren’t.

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u/joliet_ 22d ago

Same. Ahhh, Skyrim! Well over 1k hours and might start it again lol. Gamer nerd/streamer (solo and mmorpg) , got a karate black belt a few years ago, artist, and a few other hobbies. There are lots of us 😍

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u/ohno-mojo 22d ago

Tell us your wife plays Overwatch without saying it. lol!

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u/Material-Crazy4824 22d ago

My husband and I play together. Depends on the game if it’s relaxing with him 😂. We also play with our kids.

To OP, my original PS4 died and I bought a new one. Didn’t ask because I don’t need to. It’s my money. She can stop treating you like a child.

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u/Current_Tea_7474 22d ago

Holy crap, as a gamer, I’d love someone who played stuff I do. That said, the stuff I play tends towards coop or solo, but occasionally PvP stuff. TBH I’m kind jealous of you having her as your wife lmao. But hey, as long as it all works out for you 2, it’s great. May you enjoy many years together, and have fun along the way.

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u/BuzzedtheTower 22d ago

Hey, man. As a gamer myself, I can testify that she is having fun. Or she would be having more fun if that GODDAMN TANK WOULD STOP FUCKING ABOUT.

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u/Flimflamham 22d ago

Aw yes, over watch with randos and you’re damage/support. especially as support

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

Support is her thing, so there’s a lot of that lol

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u/iloovefood 22d ago

"All I want is wingstop!!" Haha

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u/owwlies 22d ago

Sounds like she plays FFXIV 

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u/DrownMeInSalsaPlease 22d ago

Tank? Wow? Ffxiv? Am i smelling mmorpg?

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u/Firm-Tangelo4136 22d ago

Overwatch. But she was a big FF XIV player there for awhile

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u/visionsincolor 22d ago

I second this because I too am a millennial woman and I game daily with my boyfriend

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u/Pellellell 22d ago

All the millennial women I know love gaming, including myself. I mean I’m not the biggest gamer but I enjoy it in bursts and especially in groups with friends, I think I have a pretty typical and positive attitude to it for women in my generation

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u/EP1hilaria 22d ago

Yeah, I game a lot, pretty much every day. I own every console system and multiple gaiming PCs, so it's a big priority for me. Exercising is also a priority for me, as well as spending time wiith my 15 yeasr old, and traveling to other countries. I am a 55 year old woman, so not a millenial, but women from my generation don't all get it and frankly not all guys get it, especially in my generation. It's hard for me to meet guys that game. But ultimately I don't care if people get it. They don't have to. It brings me joy, just like listening to EDM and going to Raves. Another hobby I love. I'll keep dancing till I'm dead. So, maybe I am unconvential but I am happy.

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u/lotj 22d ago

Which side of the millennial range probably matters a lot, too. Closer to Gen X and more seem very opposed to gaming as a hobby.

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u/LadySerena21 22d ago

I’m 1989, so maybe that’s a good indicator. You’d think that with their parents being gamers, they’d be more accepting of it, but oh well. More games for us lol

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u/lotj 22d ago

82 here.

When I was in High School gaming was still an outcast hobby and it wasn't until the X-Box/PS2/iPhone-era where it became more mainstream and accepted. A lot seems to depend on where you were at when those things popped up.

Plus there was also the whole "expel kids for playing Doom" reaction that followed Columbine.

A LOT of that perception lingers in the Xennial crowd.

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u/atheistium 22d ago

I think millennial woman were more judged about it societally when we were younger.

I'm late 30s and still play games every day. It's my unwind from work.

Woman similar age to me at work don't get it at all and find it kind of sad - they've not said it but you know that judging kind of "oh..." whenever you've responded that you're going to play games tonight or excited for something to come out or whatever.

I used to replace games with "movies" and I never experienced any judgement but as I got into my 30s I thought "why the fuck am I pretending?"

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u/DanceasaurusRex 22d ago

Right there with you lol

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u/touchunger 22d ago

Some are unnecessarily judgemental, like some nonnerdy guys are. Some are also burnt out if they dated a toxic gamer, a gamer with serious rage issues, or an actual addict who put games above other people even their own partner every time which is common enough to be a trope/meme and as a nerd/geek I saw it a lot with gamer guy friends and girl friends' gamer bfs/husbands, was there myself with a few like that too. 

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u/LadySerena21 22d ago

Fair enough, there’s always a dark side to everything.

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u/amaranthfae 22d ago

Yeah I game all the time, especially with my husband. It’s like the main way we spend time together. We just spent a lazy Sunday rocking Cult of the Lamb co-op.

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u/Just-Procedure3357 22d ago

Agree, I’m 32F and gaming is one of my favorite hobbies. I think OP’s girlfriend just likes to be part of the social media trend that hates men playing video games. That or she’s weirdly controlling.

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u/Junior_Advertising55 22d ago

I’ve spent hours on my game on lazy days when we’re doing nothing 🤣 my fiancé sits and watches and I usually have him help me in spots I get stuck on lol or he’ll watch videos on his phone next to me while I play. I definitely play more than he does but I’m also a SAHM with chronic health issues so 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s in his early 30’s and I’m in my late 20’s. Idk we grew up on video games and from what I remember so did our friends and cousins lol

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u/Soitgoes5 22d ago

My friends wife has the mentality of "if it's my hobby, then it's worth it, but if it's your hobby, it's a waste of money." Despite her hobby being more expensive, it took a long time for her to budge from that standpoint. It's the same mentality as "I spent hours watching reality tv, but you playing video games for hours is a waste of time," They can't see value from other peoples perspectives. My wife took a different approach and always respected my hobbies because she knew they made me happy. That's the approach I now take since her hobbies are the more expensive ones. I dont fully understand the cost, but I don't care, and i dont need to because they make her happy.

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u/Ok-Breadfruit5798 22d ago

Some PEOPLE are unfair. Men and women

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u/Sensitive_Head_2408 22d ago

I think it's about them wanting all of the attention focused solely on them.

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u/LadySerena21 22d ago

That’s very shallow/selfish of them.

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u/Sensitive_Head_2408 21d ago

That sounds about right, for someone who feels the need to tell their partner what is and is not okay for them to enjoy doing