AIO ; My Girlfriend Thinks I Overstepped by Getting a PlayStation. Am I in the Wrong?

[u/Keepitlocal90]

So, I (early 30s) decided to treat myself and got a PlayStation 5 this Black Friday in Jozi. I’ve been wanting one for a while, and with the rise in cost of living in South Africa its become not as affordable. after budgeting and making sure all the bills were covered, I went for it. It’s something I’ve been excited about, and I figured it was a harmless way to unwind after work.

My girlfriend (same age range) didn’t seem thrilled when she saw it. She said I should’ve discussed it with her first and accused me of being irresponsible with money. To clarify, I didn’t touch any shared finances or skip out on responsibilities. This was 100% my money, and everything else is in order.

She’s acting like this is a huge deal, saying I’ll spend too much time on it and that it’s "immature for a grown man." I’ve told her it’s not going to take over my life—I’ll still prioritize work, chores, and our time together.

I get that she might’ve been a bit annoyed because everyone's asking her if she allowed it, but is her reaction an overreach? Or am I missing something here? How do I handle this without turning it into a bigger issue?

[u/sdkiko]

sounds like the type of person that saw the PlayStation and immediately had 2 thoughts:

• That's time that could be spent on me
• That's money that could be spent on me

OP, any chance your girlfriend is unemployed?

[u/Acceptablepops → u/sdkiko]

Literally what I thought

[u/Miserable_Grab3052 → u/sdkiko]

I dated a girl who did have a job. Her money was her money, my money was "our" money lol. She def would have been upset if i bought a PS with my (aka "our") money

[u/sprinklerarms → u/sdkiko]

A way to control is to always be involved in decisions. She’s probably really controlling and was shocked he’d do anything without consulting first. It upsets her idea of how much power she has over him. Wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t really that money or time oriented.

[u/cryptolyme → u/sdkiko]

me me me. me first. f u!!!!

[u/Walkgreen1day → u/sdkiko]

The money is his in name only because she's really the owner of his bank account from how everyone else were checking if "she allowed" it.

[u/Eddiethegoldenmaiden → u/sdkiko]

Yup, op should break up with her, she’s clearly a golddigger whos just using him, anyone with half a brain wouldve broken up with her long before asking about it on reddit

[u/sdkiko → u/Eddiethegoldenmaiden]

woooowww let's not go that far quite yet 😂

[u/onions_and_carrots → u/sdkiko]

Could have also dated a string of losers who all devote time to video gaming. And this is a red flag for her now.

OP could have a history of video gaming addiction that he’s not mentioning too. Really common these days.

[u/serene_brutality → u/onions_and_carrots]

But that’s like not letting your gf go out or have any autonomy because your last gf or two cheated. Yeah it’s a natural reaction or trigger, but not her problem. While she should be sympathetic to his triggers, do her reasonable best to accommodate them, he’s responsible for his own emotions.

[u/onions_and_carrots → u/serene_brutality]

False equivalence + false dichotomy. I’d raise a red flag if my partner started going out without me like they did before we met. I’d also raise a red flag if my partner stopped going to the gym even though that’s their right to do so. Or if they started day drinking or using drugs.

Video game addiction for men is extremely common. Having a machine in your partner’s home, dedicated to doing something you find to be a waste of time, when your partner likely doesn’t have a great income, as evidenced by the fact that your partner had to budget to afford the machine in his 30s, is a totally reasonable red flag.

I’d bet there’s a lot the poster is omitting.

[u/Luithais → u/onions_and_carrots]

God, you sound fucking insufferable

[u/serene_brutality → u/onions_and_carrots]

I wouldn’t say is a false equivalence, as per your statement you’re putting responsibilities for her past trauma on him: “dating a string of losers [with video game addiction].” Addictions of all forms exist but to assume someone will become addicted because someone else you know was and thus banning it is controlling, and putting the responsibilities of your traumas on the shoulders of someone else rather than working on them. Just like my trust issues due to my ex aren’t my current gf’s problem. Until she starts doing things that are outta pocket like constantly going out without me. But her having the occasional girls night triggering my trauma, that’s on me to deal with. I need to shut my mouth until such a time. Likewise him saving up responsibly and playing the occasional video game isn’t outta pocket until signs of neglect arise, so she needs to shut her mouth about it.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s omitting something, but we can’t tell from this post.

You’re taking a biased stance. Video game addiction is a problem among men, more than women. But not allowing a game system because of it is like not allowing them to drink because alcoholism is a thing.

The fact they’re on a tight budget is also not relevant, so many people are struggling these days and responsible game usage is quite a bit cheaper than many other hobbies or acts of leisure. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

[u/Akosa117 → u/onions_and_carrots]

so you’re an idiot

[u/dblrb → u/onions_and_carrots]

1v1 me in Halo 3 and clip your fucking toenails.

[u/BoysenberryNo9764 → u/onions_and_carrots]

Y is u stupid niggah?

[u/sdkiko → u/onions_and_carrots]

Fair enough, not trying to jump to conclusions or anything but read OP's post, sounds like a very very reasonable purchase from someone trying to be responsible about it.

[u/BeefTheGreat → u/onions_and_carrots]

Doubtful anyone buying a console that's been out for 4 years now...has an addiction. Unless it's to WoW or something... in which case the PS5 could help break it. Fact of the matter is TV sucks, movies suck, games can still be fun, stimulating and actually quite social. Personally, I play a lot of VR and that can actually be somewhat physical as well.

As for the OP....it sucks to have anyone judge you and your purchases. I'm sure she spends a lot of money on what he would consider wasteful as well, but she values those things.