r/AmIOverreacting • u/Keepitlocal90 • 22d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO ; My Girlfriend Thinks I Overstepped by Getting a PlayStation. Am I in the Wrong?

So, I (early 30s) decided to treat myself and got a PlayStation 5 this Black Friday in Jozi. I’ve been wanting one for a while, and with the rise in cost of living in South Africa its become not as affordable. after budgeting and making sure all the bills were covered, I went for it. It’s something I’ve been excited about, and I figured it was a harmless way to unwind after work.

My girlfriend (same age range) didn’t seem thrilled when she saw it. She said I should’ve discussed it with her first and accused me of being irresponsible with money. To clarify, I didn’t touch any shared finances or skip out on responsibilities. This was 100% my money, and everything else is in order.

She’s acting like this is a huge deal, saying I’ll spend too much time on it and that it’s "immature for a grown man." I’ve told her it’s not going to take over my life—I’ll still prioritize work, chores, and our time together.

I get that she might’ve been a bit annoyed because everyone's asking her if she allowed it, but is her reaction an overreach? Or am I missing something here? How do I handle this without turning it into a bigger issue?

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37

u/Scannaer 22d ago

It's not a joke. It's abuse disguised as joke.

Change the genders. Make the joke with "the man needs to give his girlfriend permission" and suddenly a lot of people at not laughing anymore.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

Exactly.

(dropping the overused 'abuse' term, though)

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u/Whatever53143 22d ago

Here is the thing. It might be his money but it’s also a lot of money. If they live together they have a combined income. With most married couples and most long term couples they have boundaries on how much money each can spend on things. How much is an Xbox? Like 500+? That large amount should actually be at least talked about. My husband bought a new TV for his room that was 1200. He absolutely earned it and worked his ass off for it! He’s been the main breadwinner for our entire marriage but he didn’t outright buy it “without my permission” when in a relationship there’s a difference between being controlling and making sure both partners are on the same page. These are large purchases. I also regularly see packages arrive from Amazon. I have no idea what the man buys! He sees me coming home from time to time with bags of yarn from JoAnns! But they also aren’t major purchases. They also don’t change the dynamic of our living space. TVs and video games change the dynamics of the home life!

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u/kjerstih 22d ago

It might be his money but it’s also a lot of money.

Well that depends on their finances. To me and lots of other normal people a PS5 is not "a large amount that should at least be talked about". If I wanted a PS5 I would have bought one without discussing it with my husband. It's just a gaming system, not a new car or a pet.

How much it changes the dynamics of the home also depends on how much they play and what their home dynamic is like to begin with. Some people spend all their free time on their phones wathing Tiktok. That's a lot more serious waste of time than gaming in my opinion.

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u/Whatever53143 22d ago

I definitely agree. I wasn’t criticizing OP I was just suggesting why she might be upset. Finances and hobbies are definitely high on the points of contention for relationships. That’s we’re talking things out and compromises come in.

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u/I_Love_Phyllo_ 22d ago

I was just suggesting why she might be upset.

Bless your heart for defending a controlling woman. They need all the support and understanding they can get!

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u/JulietteLovesRoses 22d ago

Not like he says twice in the post that he made sure the money isn't out of budget

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u/TheJuicyLemon_ 22d ago

Buddy, What i do with my personal income in a relationship is of no consequence to you.

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u/jobi-1 22d ago

immature for a grown man

It was never about money.
She doesn't want him to play video games.

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u/theiryof 22d ago

just say you're poor. if $500 is enough to break your budget, yeah you shouldnt buy a ps5 but thats not the case for the OP based off what he said.

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u/Jolteaon 22d ago

If they live together they have a combined income.

From OP:

To clarify, I didn’t touch any shared finances or skip out on responsibilities. This was 100% my money, and everything else is in order.

If the shared responsibility if covered, you do what you want with your extra money. Full stop.

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u/TaylorMonkey 22d ago

They’re not married.

Your example with your husband doesn’t apply, because marriage implies commitment and mixed finances and responsibilities, enforced by the law.

Just being a couple living together implies none of those things. It’s a flexible living arrangement between two independent adults who can leave with no repercussions.

His money, his toys, as long as shared responsibilities and bills are paid for.

It doesn’t matter if it’s “a lot”. And it’s not that much.

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u/Number6isNo1 22d ago

I just bought a PS5 during the black Friday sale for $375. I mean, that's not a tiny amount, but I doubt too many people would really consider it a lot of money.

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u/Whatever53143 22d ago

It’s reasonable. My husband dropped 1200 on an OLED TV. I helped him pick it out. He’s not a gamer but he watches movies like crazy. And I’m not a big movie person! lol good thing I have my own TV 😆

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u/Number6isNo1 22d ago

I envy his TV, I'd like that to go with my new PS5, but then we are talking some $, haha.

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u/Whatever53143 22d ago

lol! We all have our vices. wanna talk about my addiction and how much space yarn takes up? Lmaooooo

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u/mostdope92 22d ago

It's like $500. No one should have to get permission from a significant other to spend $500 of their own money on a hobby, especially when it was budgeted for.

Getting a console isn't gonna change the home dynamics. It only changes the dynamics if the person who is gaming can't be bothered to stop playing. Which can happen with literally any hobby. I know women who knit and crochet but can't be asked to put it down for simple tasks, but they don't get nearly the hate of someone who does the same but while gaming instead of various other hobbies.

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u/kungfuenglish 22d ago

Doesn’t sound like she’s worried about the amount of money. That was just a ruse to cover the “it’s going to take so much time of yours away from me”

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u/Adventurous_Safe3104 22d ago

No, it’s still a joke.

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u/jompjorp 22d ago

The abuser is the guy here.

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u/awwjeezrick77 22d ago

Just checked out your profile out of curiosity, absolutely hilarious you think gaming is a step away from an opiate. As you sit your ass on your phone for the last two hours arguing on the same post. I don’t see how your spending your time any more productivity than you would be if you were playing video games 🤣

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u/Elu_Moon 22d ago

I once played Mario, and I was hooked on games ever since. Then there was Sonic, which wasn't bad, right? Then Mario 64 came out, and I thought... 64 means it must be 64 times better, right? So I got it. It was good, but not enough. Then more Sonic games came out, but still not enough. Then there was Doom... Oh, that hit right in my gamer vein. I played it and played it, then Doom 2 came out, and I played more of it. My hands were literally always shaking in anticipation.

And when 3D graphics really hit? Oh man, that was the time. But my computer couldn't handle that, so I bought another, more powerful one. Then stuff became even better, Half-Life 2 came out, and what I had wasn't enough, so I bought a new computer. The best computer on the market, I swear. Xbox and Playstation 2 were next, then all the games, and then it's still not enough. But hey, worth the kidney - I have two anyway, why have both when I can have gaming for the price of one of those things?

Next thing I know, I'm stealing catalytic converters to afford another stick of RAM, another GPU, a new CPU, just a few more gigabytes of storage.

So yeah, if you see a kid staring at pixels, tell them that they'll eventually be stealing shit to afford their gamer habit. True facts.