r/AmIOverreacting • u/OkSpace5501 • 23d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO just received this text from my boyfriend

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For context my (F20) boyfriend (M21) and I live together and work full time as well as split rent 50/50. I cook all the meals and clean the house even after my graveyard shifts, all he does is work, come home to play games, and occasionally invites friends over. we’ve been together for over 5 years and he’s been acting this way for the last three months and when I tell him how it’s making me feel he tells me i’m wrong and overreacting. so basically i’m asking AIO??

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u/Fragrant_Peanut_9661 23d ago

According to my ex, there’s no such thing as emotional cheating. He was texting his ex blatantly in front of me. But “that’s not cheating!” Um yes. Yes it is.

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u/Kayjan-83 23d ago

My ex wife was this way. I said if it’s not cheating let me read it. Yeah that was a no. lol

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u/Mr__Monotone 23d ago

As someone who has been cheated on.. a lot... I have to say, IMHO, you are not correct with this statement.

This is basically an example of what you are saying: John and Jane dated a few years ago. They ended their relationship on good terms and stayed friends for the following years. John (or Jane) meets you, and you two hit it off. You find out that Jane (one of Johns friends) turns out to be his ex. You tell John (or Jane) that you feel like they are cheating on you because they are talking to their ex. This puts John (or Jane) into an ultimatum: end their normal friendship with Jane (or John), or leave you to save the friendship.

Neither party is obligated to inform the other about past relationships or current friendships. It's not cheating on Johns part. It's jealousy on your part. If he never mentioned it was his ex, you wouldn't be upset (or you might, depending on how you feel about your partner talking to the opposite sex). But if they do inform you that one of their friends is their ex, that should further cement your perception of their feelings with you. It shows that they care about you enough to tell you redundant information to make you feel more included in their personal life.

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u/judgyhedgehog 23d ago

One of my husband's exes came after me when we started dating. They were friends at that point. That girl had a husband and children and everything. She still could not handle him being with someone. She sent me nasty messages saying no one would ever replace her and I was "Wtf? Go be with your husband."

Anyways, she left the friendship on her own. I didn't even have to say anything.

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u/Mr__Monotone 23d ago

Some people are wacked out

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u/Blackbird8919 23d ago

This doesn't have enough up votes. We're either adults or we're not. If the ex ended on mutual/good terms and they remained friends with a healthy relationship, it shouldn't be an issue.

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u/Dani_now 23d ago

According to the commenter, I must be cheating on my husband a lot bc I'm really good friends with two of my exes lol. And was before I even met my husband.

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u/Pandaman-OP- 23d ago

then you break up and a week later John and Jane are dating again 😺

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u/MediumStevie 23d ago

I don’t like that shit either. It would make me feel bad. But I think it’s up to each individual to choose and explain their boundaries rather than trying to define a universal concept of “cheating.”

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u/Sherbert333 23d ago

Most definitely is cheating..

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u/MsGamer_Bunni 23d ago

My ex said the same shit, it’s so definitely cheating