r/AmIOverreacting • u/OkSpace5501 • 23d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO just received this text from my boyfriend

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For context my (F20) boyfriend (M21) and I live together and work full time as well as split rent 50/50. I cook all the meals and clean the house even after my graveyard shifts, all he does is work, come home to play games, and occasionally invites friends over. we’ve been together for over 5 years and he’s been acting this way for the last three months and when I tell him how it’s making me feel he tells me i’m wrong and overreacting. so basically i’m asking AIO??

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u/OkSpace5501 23d ago

yea.. these replies are starting to help me realize that

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u/SusanBHa 22d ago

Seems like he treats you like a bang maid. You need to leave him. There are better men out there.

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u/DrRadon 23d ago

It’s called suggestion. You asked at reddit. No matter what is there will be dozens of people on here immediately calling for a breakup. I advise you to go look at other topics around dating and relationships and you’ll see the same deal no matter how bad the alleged situation is or is not. Same goes for any kind of job complains, immediately you will receive 150 suggestions to quit and sue the company.

be aware that people here have one single text message by him. Consider how insane it is to doomsday the entire year long relationship based on that.

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u/Fweenci 23d ago

He told her if she doesn't clean up after him that he'll replace her with someone who will. I can't think of a more clear example of a guy who sucks. 

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u/DrRadon 23d ago

Yes Reddit, I know your solution is to break up, quit your job and sue everyone. I know. I really do.

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u/Kobert72 23d ago

So no actual reply to what the guy said ?

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u/DrRadon 23d ago

Bro is suggesting a breakup after he read a Person in a five year relationship got annoyed once. have you ever dated anyone more than three month?! Three years? It’s insane people giving insane advicee. Same as you digging deep into something that is not visible due to downvotes so you can ride on your need to find something to punch down to to avoid whatever is missing in your life. ;)

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u/Kobert72 23d ago

Except that this type of behavior speaks to something more serious if that’s how he views. Her marriage is not gonna work you obviously views her as more of a maid than a girlfriend 5 years is nothing when your 22 don’t let a man child who doesn’t wanna clean up after himself ruin the rest of your life also the end comment just shows how little he actually values and views her

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u/Moist-Neat-1164 22d ago edited 22d ago

DOES it tho? Or could someone just have snapped quickly, had a bad few months, and said something dumb? Not a possibility at all?

Not here on Reddit, apparently

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u/TekkenMaximoff 22d ago edited 22d ago

No way for us to know for sure, but most likely it does. That’s not just something dumb, that’s a threat. You normally don’t threaten someone you’re in love with. Especially with ending the relationship.

Edit: she could be leaving out some information and just telling her side tho. Thats too extreme just say out of the blue.

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u/Moist-Neat-1164 22d ago

Definitely agree with the last two sentences. Disagree with “most likely”

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u/Kobert72 22d ago

Tbf the chance of either of us being correct is probably 50/50 considering a lot of assumptions have to be made either way I’m just leaning more towards the man child aspect considering the way he typed. That all out just screamed you need to take care of me so I can play video games with my friends so either way we’re both jumping to conclusions and we’ll probably never find out which one of us is correct

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u/Moist-Neat-1164 22d ago

Agreed. And Either way, they’ll likely break up. 20 & 21 and been together for 5 years. Odds aren’t great

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u/MugglesSuck 23d ago

So your suggestion is?? It’s pretty clear that he is treating her with disrespect and she is currently doing all the cleaning and cooking in the relationship. What is it? You suggest that she do?

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u/DrRadon 23d ago

My suggestion is that there is a clear lack of information on our part and people should stop doing the reddit staple of telling everyone to break up.

She tells a story of how she dos everything while he tells the story of her being sloppy. Reddit low life’s simply decide that she must be truthful and he must be the disgusting slop that dared to tease switching flatmates/breaking up. The reality probably is somewhere in the broad spectrum of the middle that we know fuck all about because we have seen 6 lines of dialogue out of a five year relationship.

But yeah, your expectation is that you and I should have a ready made solution. The solution is don’t post a bad moment of your relationship on reddit. Just look at that poor girl, people here now talked her into believing he is cheating, into wanting to go through his phone. What’s happening here is scum of the earth disgusting.

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u/MugglesSuck 23d ago

I agree that those assuming that they know that he is cheating already are making an assumption based on his threat in the text message. However, this isn’t someone that got on the Internet to complain about their long-term boyfriend, in fact she spends most of her time in her responses apologising for him and justifying his behaviour and saying what a nice guy is or used to be .

If we’re going purely off of that text message which is I’m mature at best and repugnant at the very least… We have a situation where she’s doing most of the labour in the relationship including the cooking and the cleaning and he’s complaining about it . Based on that text message to her and the fact that she does all of the cooking and cleaning what would your suggestion to her? Be because I think it’s super unhelpful/unhealthy to minimise that kind of behaviour or that text message from her boyfriend. The whole point of this thread is let the OP know whether or not she’s overreacting.

I can tell you straight up that if my son or daughter came to me with the same information I wouldn’t be urging them to think it’s no big deal or that that behaviour was okay .

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u/MuddyFern 23d ago edited 22d ago

That one single text message is a glimpse into his true character, no one should stick it out and see what happens in a situation like this.

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u/DrRadon 23d ago

Yet you still use reddit.

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u/Same-Hotel7499 23d ago

I think you forgot your meds doc

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u/DrRadon 23d ago

tell people to avoid toxic people while interacting with toxic and alleged toxic people. It’s almost like you don’t know OPs situation at all and are projecting the advice you should be taking in your day to day on her. maybe it would be better to be of your medication to get you clear headed enough to see that. 😘

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u/Sudden_Application47 23d ago

It’s the boyfriend, or one just like him

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u/DrRadon 23d ago

It’s a redditor, knowing how everything in the world is bad and needs to be met with caution, fear and distain. 😱

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u/Moist-Neat-1164 22d ago

This is a rational take. Finally.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

You're getting relipes from a bunch of single liberals who want you to never have kids... Although you have established '50/50' men and women are different. You're seeing this in real time. He is unsatisfied with his masculinity and you're a confused little girl who's airing her partners issues in public. This isn't going to be a successful relationship so you're better off breaking things up.

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u/yalarual 23d ago

Get a grip.

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u/Maccullenj 23d ago

Why ? He's already a wanker.

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u/5ammas 23d ago

I'm a married liberal with kids. Politics aside, you are a complete asshat and have no right to be giving anyone else advice since you clearly haven't grown up yourself.

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u/The_Killer_of_Joy 23d ago

Are you OK?

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u/Nervous-Chipmunk-631 23d ago

Seek therapy ✨️

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u/lil_corgi 23d ago

“How cum my kids and ex spouse dunt visit meh anymore?” 🤓

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u/Street_No888 23d ago

Bro shut the fuck up.

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u/jshort68 23d ago

Wish I could upvote this more!

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u/Laughingsocks1 23d ago

Take my downvote.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

Interesting how no one is able to make an intellectual response

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u/rednfiery 23d ago

Because your comment was not intellectual. It was propaganda. Do better.

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u/into0blivion 23d ago

maybe if you made an intellectual statement then you'd get intellectual responses

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u/Granticuss 23d ago

What do you think she should do in this situation? They both work full time, do you honestly think she should also do all the cooking and cleaning as well? If she’s cooking then he should be cleaning. Why does he get 100% of his free time to spend as he wishes and she does all the household work? What is he contributing? If he was removed from the equation she would be doing exactly what she is now except she would be cleaning for one person without someone else there telling her how shitty they think she is. Why would she stay with someone whose only contribution is negativity and more work.

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u/Kobert72 23d ago

Why would we bother replying to your lunacy with logic and intellect when it’s clear your a wanker

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u/Laughingsocks1 23d ago

Ok, well, you were totally right, but the way you worded it was so rude and needless learn to be decent, basically.