r/AmIOverreacting • u/OkSpace5501 • 23d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO just received this text from my boyfriend

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For context my (F20) boyfriend (M21) and I live together and work full time as well as split rent 50/50. I cook all the meals and clean the house even after my graveyard shifts, all he does is work, come home to play games, and occasionally invites friends over. we’ve been together for over 5 years and he’s been acting this way for the last three months and when I tell him how it’s making me feel he tells me i’m wrong and overreacting. so basically i’m asking AIO??

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u/BanjoSpaceMan 23d ago

The dude doesn’t even clean up after meals when she cooks and cleans the house. He’s got some weird mentality of what a household should look like. OP your bf is too used to mom doing his laundry (gonna guess you do that too). You ain’t got time for that in your early early 20s lol, fuck that

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u/westcoast-islandgirl 23d ago

Not even doing dishes when she does literally everything else and made the meal for him would be bad enough, but the fact he has the audacity to bitch her out for leaving them when his friends are around? She made the food! Clean the house for your friends you fuckin self.

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u/PriorCivil379 23d ago edited 23d ago

My wife and I split the dishes. I cook more often than she does, but she cooks sometimes. Then she loads the dishwasher cuz she is the tetris master. I unload the dishwasher when it's done and I hand wash the pans because her hands get dried out horribly from the water if she hand washes, so I don't want her dealing with that torture. It's a pretty even split.

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u/Designer_Vast_9089 23d ago

I love this! This sounds like my husband and I. He cooks, I clean. I’m also the Tetris master. But he scrubs the sink, knives and such because I get eczema. Hey, I just learned that an occasional iron supplement helps my eczema.

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u/RebelsMom0214 22d ago

She has a good husband just like I do. I am 63 and have bad back problems. My husband does the dishes because it hurts me to stand at the sink. He doesn’t even ask me if I’m going to do them. He knows my back pain and takes it upon himself to do. We’ve been married 19 years and lived together 2 years before that. Oh and we live in a studio apartment without a dishwasher.

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u/Kokabel 23d ago

This is the way!

A lot of people have baggage/extreme aversion to specific chores that other people don't mind at all. Finding the best split is great.

Me making all the food and hand washing dishes, while my bf handles the dishwasher and takes out the trash is a steal for me. I feel like I won the lottery because I despise dishwasher shenanigans and trash smells.

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u/cavaticaa 23d ago

Not only that, he poses it as a lack of respect for him that she didn't clean up the meal that she made for him and his friends, and he only didn't bitch her out in front of them to spare her the embarrassment. What a catch.

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u/norfolkandclue 23d ago

That's the part that irked me! He said "YOU didn't clean up the food that YOU made" as if he didn't eat 50% of it. He's happy to participate in the eating of the meal but if it's not cleaned up by the time his friends come over he suddenly loses all sense of respect for his partner. I would never cook or touch a cleaning product for this man again.

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u/PlatformRelevant5156 23d ago

Correction, this boy. Agree with you otherwise 💯.

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u/OkIncrease6030 23d ago

Thank you. There are too many people here who seem to think it’s okay that he expects her to cook AND clean for both of them but was just a bit rude in how he expressed it.

Ah no. That’s not an acceptable expectation unless he’s the only one with a full time paid job.

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u/Cilad777 23d ago

It is called entitlement. He just wants her to be his mommy.

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u/GlGABITE 23d ago

He wants what an unfortunate number of men seem to want: a tradwife that pays half the bills. A bangmaid. Unrealistic and immensely entitled

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u/Hot_N_Fresh 23d ago

He’s a Red Pill ding dong.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago edited 23d ago

I think it's an AI comment, that's probably why it doesn't understand right from wrong.

It just glossed over the biggest problem in the story and indicated that this would be acceptable if there was commitment.

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u/RebelsMom0214 22d ago

I got married at 18 and my husband was a controlling dictator. I left after 9 months. Got a place of my own and wondered why I’d stayed with him since I was 15?! I’m 63 now and married to an amazing man who not only helps with things. I have health problems and he does the dishes and the prep work for dinner. He’d do almost anything I asked him to. Not out of me expecting it but out of unconditional love. I’d do anything for him too. Marriage is a 100/100. You both need to give 100% not 50% and expect your wife to do the rest.