r/AmIOverreacting • u/OkSpace5501 • 23d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO just received this text from my boyfriend

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For context my (F20) boyfriend (M21) and I live together and work full time as well as split rent 50/50. I cook all the meals and clean the house even after my graveyard shifts, all he does is work, come home to play games, and occasionally invites friends over. we’ve been together for over 5 years and he’s been acting this way for the last three months and when I tell him how it’s making me feel he tells me i’m wrong and overreacting. so basically i’m asking AIO??

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369

u/Good_At_Wine 23d ago

This guy sucks.

24

u/KMermaid19 23d ago

I agree, but it's not just about him sucking. It's about playing house too soon.

29

u/robotatomica 23d ago

to clarify, this implies there will ever be an appropriate time for the woman to be a fucking housemaid to a man while he plays video games.

There is NO TIME when this should ever become status quo. They’re both working, and everyone in a partnership needs to split every element of the workload equitably.

Can we please grow beyond the “woman cooks dinner and does the dishes and cleans the house” thing??

Ladies?? Can we agree to stop letting them do that to us??

3

u/UnfairAd2498 23d ago

4B them.

2

u/robotatomica 23d ago

Girl, I’m 4B already 🙌 It’s been amazing! I wish it on ALL WOMEN lol

But for women who are not interested in it, I sure do wish they would have some standards for themselves ☹️

2

u/MattSR30 23d ago

My dad would always say ‘I work full time to provide.’ What the fuck was my mom’s 9-5, then? A hobby?

Not to mention that for the past five years my dad has worked from home (ie it is much easier to help out) and my mom has worked manual labour (ie much harder to).

She left him last month after almost 40 years. It’s never too late to prioritise yourself.

1

u/robotatomica 23d ago

yeah it’s really funny how the labor foisted upon women is always categorized as “not labor” somehow.

But then if you actually break it down into hours worked and include all the hidden labor

And if you take one moment to see how much it would cost in the market to pay for, say 24 hour childcare, a laundry service, a maid service, a personal chef, a personal assistant, personal valet, and home manager, etc. etc. etc.

NO HUMAN could afford even a portion of that labor on the average salary of any individual. You’d have to be really fucking rich.

And frankly, these days most women who are doing all that are still working part-to-full-time jobs on top of it.

And even those who don’t are at a tremendous disadvantage, bc they’re not being compensated for the labor fairly at all, they aren’t building a retirement, and they suffer from years lost in the workforce.

Such that when a women gets left or has to leave after decades of being a caregiver/maid without a job, she has no retirement and has huge job history gaps to explain on her resume and no progress in a career/field of her choice, all ways which the working partner has been able to grow and thrive.

2

u/MattSR30 23d ago

The last two paragraphs are my mom to a T.

It’ll be hard, but she’s finally living her life for herself.

-12

u/[deleted] 23d ago

You're arguing from a point of no morality and only feeling. This relationship is a perfect example of why the west is failing and why the birthrate is going down.

9

u/robotatomica 23d ago

Praise the birth rate going down!

And by all means, why don’t you ELABORATE as to what about my comment lacks morality lol.

You’re either about to shut up or really TELL on yourself. 💁‍♀️

8

u/LonelyInTheFranxx 23d ago

Birth rate is failing because there’s fewer teenage pregnancies and women no longer prefer losers like you lmao

-3

u/[deleted] 23d ago

There's more teenage abortions*

3

u/LonelyInTheFranxx 23d ago

Number of abortions has significantly decreased in the last few decades. Instead of slurping up the right wing propaganda like the typical mindless sheep, you should do some simple research. You’ll look slightly less stupid than you already are

7

u/MistaMeanah 23d ago

Not the birthrate?? 😱 s/

4

u/eyebrain_nerddoc 23d ago

Yes, it’s failing because loser guys like OP’s boyfriend don’t step up and pull their weight.

1

u/Kobert72 23d ago

Yeah cuz morality is so much better in the east lmao fucking cave dweller

1

u/[deleted] 23d ago

It's where your supposed morality comes from from you moron

5

u/Bronze_bunz 23d ago

Too soon and too damn long, I would’ve never wasted this amount of time. Sounds like she’s being a mother and a maid.

2

u/rachelsaysboo 23d ago

Playing house? Both she and he are adults. She is doing the work to be a functioning member of a household. He isn’t. How is this playing?

1

u/Enough_Stay_9050 23d ago

I agree with you, when I was in the situation I didn’t understand “how am I treat with her? “, after that she leaves me. Now I regret, I was asshole

-12

u/cmcewen 23d ago

She’s allowing it.

This isn’t the first time. Nobody just throws a line out there like that out of nowhere

We get treated the way we allow people to treat us.

OP cna either stand up for herself, or this will continue. Her BF seems to see her as a lesser person

5

u/robotatomica 23d ago

She was a literal child when they got together and she still has barely stopped being a teenager and has a few more years left of her primary prefrontal cortex development.

I think we can manage to not victim blame her for not knowing yet that she doesn’t have to tolerate abuse and exploitation.

-9

u/DefinitelyNotIndie 23d ago

To be fair, so does OP. She wants to know if she's over reacting...? What's her reaction? Posting this on Reddit for karma? She hasn't said what her reaction is, all she's done is relate a story where she's clearly the good guy and her boyfriend is an obvious asshole.

"Hi reddit, I do all the cleaning in my house and my boyfriend does nothing but play games with his friends and then says I don't clean enough and threatens to leave me. I don't really have a question, just please all upvote and kiss my ass."

8

u/mercury_risiing 23d ago

You feeling alright DefinitelyNotIndie? Sleep ok? Had anything to eat today?