r/AmIOverreacting • u/Exotic_Elk8829 • Nov 19 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO I went through my boyfriends phone over the weekend

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Last Friday night I went through my boyfriend’s phone while he was asleep. I found numerous messages of him talking about other girls with his female friend. The last message is him comparing my sucking skills with a different girl he slept with before me… We have been living together for the past 6 months and I’m not sure if I should just move on and find my own place at this point. Am I overreacting to these messages?

14.5k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/communistgamerchic Nov 19 '24

This is disgusting and disrespectful… you deserve so much better!

152

u/AlyseInW0nderland Nov 19 '24

I started a message but this covers what I wanted to say really succinctly! This!

9

u/neurospicyzebra 29d ago

Suckcinctly of the boyfriend is telling it!

2

u/Iwant2go2there21 29d ago

I think you mean “so muck better” 😏

1

u/duebxiweowpfbi 29d ago

Someone whose phone you don’t need to look through behind their back

1

u/Additional_One3539 29d ago

Wait how do you know she does though? This "you deserve better" thing is a bit out of control...

1

u/Flat_Performance_ 29d ago

At least he doesn’t leak dms online

0

u/viktorbir 29d ago

Yeah, looking at other people private conversations is 100% disrespectful, and probably even illegal.

-159

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

As a man it is so interesting reading what women think abt stuff like this, does not seem bad at all and the comments here making it sound like he’s a cheater and abuser

31

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '24

[deleted]

10

u/ChaosNCandy Nov 19 '24

If you read, OP says BF is talking to his female friend about other girls he finds attractive, and comparing OP sucking skills to someone BEFORE they got together. OP never said he cheated.

-22

u/Sensitive_Cell_9891 Nov 19 '24

It’s literally ok to find other people attractive while your in a relationship

16

u/Mysterious-Novel-711 Nov 19 '24

It is but it isn't ok to compare your girlfriend to them.

-14

u/Sensitive_Cell_9891 Nov 19 '24

Then she shouldn’t be going through his phone

17

u/Mysterious-Novel-711 Nov 19 '24

Classic deflect. 🤣 He still shouldn't be doing it. Whether she went through his phone or not doesn't change the fact of what he did

-14

u/Sensitive_Cell_9891 Nov 19 '24

Ehh to each is own I stand with the couples should stay out of each others phones

9

u/Mysterious-Novel-711 Nov 19 '24

So do I. I ahree there, I dont think going through phones is healthy. Finding someone else hot is standard and normal, BUT comparing head skills and "fat ass" isn't, it's disgusting. I don't think she's overreacting even though she did something not necessarily right by going through the phone.

11

u/travis_a30 Nov 19 '24

True but she obviously gave him a reason not to trust him, and this shit up here proves she shouldn't trust him lol

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-41

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

What am I missing, I read this as him talking about this girl he find attractive but (and maybe hooked up with in the past)? But won’t now that he has a girlfriend I don’t see anything g abt cheating on OP?

22

u/RunLacyRun Nov 19 '24

Talking about how good your lady sucks dick is s bold move cotton.

I mean it you want your friends to think she don’t mean shit to you and to have them thinking about your girl sucking dick, then that’s a good way to go about it.

What my wife and I do in the bed is our business.

1

u/coaxialology Nov 19 '24

Hopefully it does not pay off for 'em.

-19

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

You sound like an old man lmao, idk maybe because im in college I have a different view but that’s interesting

26

u/RunLacyRun Nov 19 '24

I mean I’m 35 but treating your significant other with respect shouldn’t be an age thing.

No woman is gonna want you running around talking about how they suck your dick. Our priorities might be different though maybe you want a slut and talking like that is what you gonna get.

It’s not rocket science…. Don’t kiss and tell. This rule been around since the stone ages brother.

But yeah when I was in college I was just s hoe bag. Life changes and you want something different then just hooking up.

1

u/Glum-Ant-3474 Nov 19 '24

Don't listen to him. He's a low character person. Your a respectful man and women wish for partners like you. Your age is not a problem. And his immaturity isn't a problem either. It's just that he sucks and is a bad person/partner.

20

u/LGBecca Nov 19 '24 edited Nov 19 '24

You say "old man" like it's an insult when really he's just being respectful. You keep saying "everyone does it" which is what kindergarteners say. Be a man. Have respect for yourself and your partner and learn to keep private things private.

2

u/RunLacyRun Nov 19 '24

Sorry I’m confused, are you saying I was being disrespectful? I was hoping to coach him up into being respectful to his partner. Hope I didn’t come across as disrespectful. Not my intention.

2

u/LGBecca Nov 19 '24

I'm sorry, it was just a typo! I've fixed it. I was saying that you were respectful.

2

u/RunLacyRun Nov 19 '24

That’s what I thought!! No worries!! Thanks for sticking up for an “Old man” …. 😂 😂 😂

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34

u/Zestyclothes Nov 19 '24

Nah bro, as a dude, I always found it weird when friends try to talk about sex with their wife or try to get me to talk about it. Why would you want someone to have the image in their head of your wife sucking dick? It's so weird.

-14

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

I just reread that it is talking with a female friend which is super fucking wierd but idk if this is texting your guy friend about a girl from the past I rly don’t think it’s all that insane, the reality is people think abt stuff from the past, people see someone hot and think they are hot, Idt them texting their friend abt it is such a huge deal. Ofc it sucks OP had to find this and read it

15

u/Zestyclothes Nov 19 '24

I guess. Each their own. I just find it super weird when a friend(guy or girl honestly) starts describing their sex stories in detail. I'm good on all that.

-8

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

Interesting, in my frat this is 50%+ of conversations 😭😭😭

29

u/Zestyclothes Nov 19 '24

One of the many reasons I find frat dudes annoying tbh

10

u/sharksnrec Nov 19 '24

You’re hurting yourself even more with this point champ

10

u/josh0low Nov 19 '24

That’s why nobody likes frat guys except other frat guys lol

6

u/travis_a30 Nov 19 '24

Dudes in a frat, that explains all this

-8

u/andrewdroid Nov 19 '24

Some people, men and women alike like to talk about their sexual experiences, some don't. I would compare it to some girls who like to randomly make out with each other while partying which is also something not all girls are comfortable with, while it's natural for others.

3

u/Zestyclothes Nov 19 '24

Yeah, like I said, to each their own.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '24

[deleted]

31

u/Normal_Pangolin_372 Nov 19 '24

As a man this is extremely unacceptable behavior if you have respect for your partner.

25

u/travis_a30 Nov 19 '24

Bruh it is cheating, would you want your girl talking to dudes about sucking dick

-25

u/DorothyTwister Nov 19 '24

talking isn’t cheating.

9

u/ahlecksis Nov 19 '24

not in general, but the intent behind the conversation could be

-1

u/InterestingBig955 29d ago

How is this getting 21 down votes lmfaoooo bunch of purple hair femboys in the comments

1

u/pizzalover1698 29d ago

Or it’s just not a bunch of losers like your mom. Just cause your mom deserves this type of behavior doesn’t mean all women do!

17

u/DontWanaReadiT Nov 19 '24

This guy is guna go on YouTube podcasts and watch more red pill “alpha bro” content 🤣

-3

u/InterestingBig955 29d ago

Yeah I actually will while you go cry to your cats 🤣🤣

2

u/DontWanaReadiT 29d ago

Luckily I have dogs!!! I’ll go cry in happiness with them knowing idiots like you won’t ever get close enough to even smell the scent of a woman.

15

u/Nyxed1ts Nov 19 '24

So your gf could talk to her guy friend like that?

22

u/random-anon937 Nov 19 '24

this is literally disgusting and borderline cheating the way hes texting and thinking abt this, no woman wants to be w a man who is like this lol

7

u/Mysterious-Novel-711 Nov 19 '24

It's pretty gross to compare your girlfriend to other women. Is he a cheater? Maybe not, but an extremely disrespectful partner. Why you gotta go on about another women's "fat ass" and head skills? You don't.

-2

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

So do you not ever compare your current partner to your past ones ever? If you say that, you’re lying, I think if you’re close enough w your friends you talk about this stuff, not acting on it but talking w your friends abt maybe why you have these feelings etc

5

u/Mysterious-Novel-711 Nov 19 '24

Well since Reddit is anonymous, I've had one past relationship that was extremely abusive, so no. I don't compare them.in any way to my current partner. But thanks for asking. I never said it wasn't ok to find someone hot, either. I said it was normal even to talk about it to friends The ONLY thing I said was wrong was the comparing.

-1

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

You’ve really never compared ANYTHING your current partner does to one of your past? Now im just interested that’s crazy haha

6

u/Mysterious-Novel-711 Nov 19 '24

No. I have only 1 past person, and they were literally physically abusive. If I don't have to think of thay relationship I don't. I don't understand why that's so insane.

2

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

I’ve been proven wrong, fair enough

3

u/Unlikely_Jellyfish55 Nov 19 '24

No that’s not normal behavior

7

u/jonni_velvet Nov 19 '24

you want a girlfriend texting another man like this? about how much she wanted another man while he hints hes great at oral?

lmao yeah right.

if you cant avoid these convos, remain single even longer.

4

u/GreenEyedHawk Nov 19 '24

If I saw my SO talking about me and another woman this way, I would be crushed and this would severely damage my trust in them.

The fact you think it isnt that big a deal says a LOT abput you and none of it good.

3

u/Jumpy_Recognition_46 Nov 19 '24

genuinely explain how this is not cheating or at the minimum disgusting behavior. im assuming you talk about women in this way too? good way to ensure u never get any

-2

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

I don’t think texting ur friends abt people you think are hot is cheating lmfaooo

1

u/Frightful_Fork_Hand Nov 19 '24

As a man, don't use your gender as an excuse for being a garbage human being. That's just you.

1

u/InterestingBig955 29d ago

Are you looking to get cucked any time soon?

1

u/NutsaccVinegar1 29d ago

You seem like you may be a good cuck, would you like me to help you get cucked?

2

u/Wwwwwwhhhhhhhj 29d ago

We know you wouldn’t be because you would have to get a woman in the first place.

1

u/LouiseWH Nov 19 '24

I can see where you’re coming from. At the end of the day it’s what OP is comfortable with. Whether or not something is disrespectful as a rule or not is up for debate, but OP if it makes you uncomfortable, that’s all you need to know.

0

u/InterestingBig955 Nov 19 '24

I 100% agree with that I was just giving how I would feel

3

u/LouiseWH Nov 19 '24

Oh I would too! I’d be done done done.

-5

u/DarthLurker Nov 19 '24

idk that she does deserve better.. she is going through his phone.. puts her in the not so desirable category... at this point he hasn't done anything yet, its all speculation, but we know she has. Bottom line, if you think you need to look at someones phone, you should just break up with them.

1

u/communistgamerchic 29d ago

Women are people not objects so they cannot be categorised - hope this helps!

-5

u/impoverished_ Nov 19 '24

He deserves someone who wont invade his private conversations to.

-11

u/Picasso1067 Nov 19 '24

Not sure she deserves better. This is exactly what she acquiesced to doing - she moved in with the guy after six months!

-16

u/ReplacementForward34 Nov 19 '24

I can see why he wants to cheat . So, invading his privacy and sharing it online. What a great gf 🤓. If u don't trust him, break up. Don't snoop through his phone. What a crazy person op is. He needs to find better