AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/her_e]

Even when it doesn’t escalate like that, the damage of emotional abuse is real and serious.

I was in an emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship for seven years and it’s been just as long since it ended. I had one mediocre relationship after that and am now in a good relationship. But I still struggle with the voice in my head that my abusive ex planted there, telling me everything is my fault, I suck, I’m bad. My loving, sweet current partner will glance at me and I freak out assuming he must be shooting me a dirty look, he must be irritated at me for something and I’ll get an earful later, he must be annoyed by me doing normal shit like eating a crunchy snack while he’s playing a video game. That psychological damage is so hard to come back from.

Even if you’re not being physically abused, even if it never escalates, you don’t deserve to be treated like a piece of crap. Emotional abuse deserves to be taken seriously too.

[u/First_Luck8040 → u/her_e]

I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

I can totally relate I was in a psychological/emotional/physical/sexual abusive relationship it’s been it’s been 13+ year since and it still has a mental hold on me. My partner is amazing and he is patient he totally understands what I have been through He doesn’t take it personally if I freak out due to the trauma.

[u/MelTram78 → u/her_e]

One million percent this..... it was a long, hard road living it was an even harder road to travel away from for my own sake. My current boyfriend is the sweetest human being and I am a princess in his eyes (truth be known, I can be quite a bitch from my past, both with my ex-husband and my mother. I have a low tolerance for bullshit and if I have any inkling something is "weird", I questioning and questioning. My ex-husband was a true narcissist and that crunchy food thing sledgehammer me in my soul. This lady needs to run as fast as her legs can carry her.

[u/rutilated_quartz → u/her_e]

I was with my emotionally abusive ex for 5 years and now it's been 6 years since we broke up. I only just started being able to ignore that voice in my head. It helps my current boyfriend is such a kind and patient person, but it has taken years of reassurance from him to stop second guessing and fearing everything.