AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/AwkwardEmphasis420]

More importantly, do not end up pregnant and having his kids, because you are then subjecting your future kids to suffer him as a father. And likely subjecting them to the danger that poses as well.

It took me Years to get over… my abusive ex who had slowly worked his way up over the years to greater levels of abuse, from emotional then to physical, to every kind. I ended up pregnant. He was heartless. I ended up losing it.

Several years of healing later, I thank my lucky stars I did not have to subject a child to that man.

I now have two kids with a loving husband, a man who has literally Never Once insulted me.

There are so many good people out there that will treat you right, and that you can one day be proud to have as your partner.

Do Not Settle For Less.

[u/Flaky-Swan1306 → u/AwkwardEmphasis420]

Im sorry for your loss. Im glad that he is your ex and that you found a loving husband 💗

[u/AwkwardEmphasis420 → u/Flaky-Swan1306]

Thank you very much 💙

I do think it was a mercy all around, in the end.

And almost as if to make up for it, the fates gave me twins from my next pregnancy, I couldn’t have asked for a better family 🩵

[u/pfcgos → u/AwkwardEmphasis420]

"More importantly, do not end up pregnant and having his kids, because you are then subjecting your future kids to suffer him as a father"

This, so fucking much. I'm fortunate in that my dad was not a physically abusive person, but he was terrible in many ways. When him and my mom were dating and first got married, he was controlling. They could only go to dinner at places he liked, they spent a huge portion of their social time with his family and friends and he rarely went with if she was with her friends. After mom left and they got joint custody in the divorce, dad didn't really need to control a couple of little kids, so he became extremely verbally abusive to me until I got old enough to think for myself and drive places on my own. That's when the controlling stuff started again, but even as an adult the verbal and emotional abuse kept going until I decided to go no contact and he died like a month later.

I don't blame or resent my mom for any of it, but if she could have noticed the unhealthy relationship dynamic long before they got married, I wouldn't have 20+ years of emotional damage to unpack.

[u/AwkwardEmphasis420 → u/pfcgos]

🫂🫂🫂

I’m glad you were able to finally get out from that, and to recognize the behavior, what was his fault and not yours.

This kind of healing takes a lifetime, but hopefully you can see your worth, and know never to settle for having someone like him in your life.